I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Shilo, have a SAFE trip!! Pull over and nap if you get sleepy... take your time. Honestly, we all hope you can connect while there so we know you made it safe n sound!!
I hope things go as good or even better for you. My Mom's death has changed things in my family. We used to avoid certain subjects in fear of offending my Mom. We discussed some of them at the get together after her memorial. It was cathartic. I hope you can communicate with your brother. Voice your concerns about him. You never know. He might open up. Its worth a try. God Bless you!
Let me see if I've got this right: Antioxidant properties defeats free radicals. Caffeine in chocolate with coffee helps to stay awake while you drive. Chocolate has a chemical called PEA that imitates being in love? (Not sure anymore).
My husband says chocolate products with sugar can be avoided if you're diabetic, by eating baking chocolate, but that sounds as far-fetched as my chocolate ideas above, because I can no longer confirm them.
. See the newer studies about not avoiding chocolate.
SHILO, why do you miss chocolate?
My brother called this evening. The other siblings want a church service and would I object or do I just want the graveside service. He doesn't want a big long church service. I suggested having a small service at the funeral home then going to the graveside. That sounded good to him. I told him if there was a service at the funeral home the others would have to pay for it up front and the funeral director knows this. I do not have the money and will not take any IOU's from any of them...don't trust them. He will talk to the others and let me know in the morning what they have decided so I can make final arrangements. I see my brother is so lost, our family has fallen apart...dissolved the way it has. Since he is the oldest son maybe he feels partly responsible in some way. He tried to repair the bridge as did I but it was too damaged. I will talk to him and tell him that. I hope he listens because I think he is in a deep dark place.
Off to finish packing then get some sleep. I hope to be able to connect when I am away. I will be thinking of all of you and hope you and your loved ones, be they human or animal, stay close.
Am I the only one that misses chocolate?...
One cannot find anything under the circumstances you described.
It often helps me when I give up trying to find it. Then, there it is.
I just picked up the rental car. Will pack everything tonight, get some sleep and leave in the morning. I figure on stopping and phoning a friend if I needed a break from driving. Now I just have to figure out how to open the gas tank to fill it up.
Babalou, sometimes I ruminate but luckily not too often...it seems it has been happening lately because it is the one year anniversary to when Mom went into that second NH which turned out to be awful....I need to build new memories of this time of year maybe by thinking back before all this happened. So many times in the past year I have said to myself..."this just can't be happening!!" when something awful occurred. I am even having a day like that today, now suddenly worrying about my husband's health in addition to Mom's....ugh. Always out of left field.
I don't know why pharmacies tell you that generic drugs are the same - they make them cheaper somehow - they are not the same. It may be the coating, the way they're mixed or something, but they are most definitely the same. I too worry about the elderly taking so many medications. I wish there were some way to stop this viscous cycle. It didn't seem this way years ago when there wasn't such a thing as "generics" - maybe some side effects because of the medication, but nowhere near the amount we have now. Maybe we should go back to the old-fashioned way! Keep up you posts.
Katie...dear I do that too...I am always thinking back to December 2013 when Mama took that one little turn, me standing right there holding onto her, but down she went and broke that ankle and after the surgery to set it, has never been the same mentally...Granted, she had been not the same mentally since her major accident, but at least she seemed to understand a little more...And then I find myself doing the "what if this?" "If only i had" and on and on..and it will drive you crazy because you CAN:T change it...it's done, it's over and no going back..I find that when Im not worn out I am better able to put those memories on the shelf but these days I am so tired all the time and I absolutely hate it when I fall asleep during the day because as bad as my vertigo has gotten, it is so much worse when I wake up...
I wish yall could have seen Mama yesterday when she was having her little chat with God only knows who...she was really chattering, looked so happy, was smiling so much...like she used to be...I wanted so much to know who she was talking to...I wish they could or would tell us..I guess that's not meant to be either..all I know is it sure was comforting to me to see her talking with someone..I'm thinking on the other side, being happy, laughing, smiling...I will try to remember that moment when a sadder time comes....and try to be happy for her knowing she didn't have to stay behind in a frail tired body, but was able to go and rejoice and join those she loves..
.the past few days especially have made me so aware of how alone I have always been...and I have always been this way...It is just who I am...nothing wrong with it, it's just the way I find my peace and stay close to my spiritual side...It is upsetting to me how pretty much the rest of my family and most of my friends are NOT like this and so they don't get it and I think they take my solitude seeking for being an ass...I am going to stop letting it bother me, easier said than done, but this is who I am..and thank God for it actually because it is one of the things that has helped me survive having been otherwise abandoned at the gate after Mama came home...God always knows what He is doing for He knows what is ahead....Mama always told me that too...I used to worry and fret over all the what if's and she would tell me you will understand it all one day, maybe right now it's just not meant for us to know...stop worrying, worrying will kill you....she was and is right...
Happiness is find that one pharmacy that has that one pharmaceutical manufacturer in their Rolodex :)
I worry so much about our elders who probably are dealing with side effects which are covered up by yet another prescription pill to deal with that side effect which in turns brings on another side effect. You get the picture. No wonder they take 15-30 pills a day :P
I'm currently on a search for something myself - my contigo water bottle that I misplaced 2 days ago. Considering that it contained iced coffee with cream when I lost it, by the time I find it, I'll probably have to throw it away. :-( Can't figure out for the life of me where I set it down! The house isn't that darn big.....
Hope, I find that I have the WORST, weirdest dreams when I get up and then go back to sleep again. Horrible, realistic dreams that stay with me for days.
Left a message for the nurse manager on Mom's floor, hoping to hear back from her soon on where the dementia evaluation stands - we really need to get that done.
Finally getting some stuff done around the house today - last week was a complete washout due to the holiday - my work is extremely busy around the holidays and I can't get anything else done. Also waiting on the medical equipment company to pick up Mom's hospital bed and O2 tanks and concentrator...seems so final, but there's no need to keep it here now that she's in the NH.
Yesterday when I was trying to take a minute and brush my own teeth,I heard my brother say"Is Lu here?"It hit me hard and I immediatly came out and said "Where would I be?I never get to go anywhere...Ever!!!" and I blew up at him for the first time in over 9 years.It suprised him for sure because I never say how Im feeling.Being in constant mental and physical pain,my patience is on thin ice.
Thats my rant this am.