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Susan, you know I've been a supporter of you keeping your mother at home up until now, but I think it is time to let her stabilize at a skilled nursing facility. IMO, your mother's needs are greater than one person can provide. I really don't know if you (or anybody) can do this anymore. If she were a little woman, it would be easier. If she would leave her catheter in, it would be easier. But the way things are with the water retention, a skilled facility sounds so much like a better answer. I wonder if there is one around with free wireless access so you could visit for longer periods and still get some work done.
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{{{{{Susan}}}}}
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Visited mom today at the NH - her spirits are much higher today. She is determined to come back home after therapy and rehab...so I guess we wait and see. I find myself actually being a little depressed that she may come home and I feel terrible about that. I know she wants to be home, but I guess part of me is being selfish. I will do what is best for her, of course - and if that means coming home, then so be it. I want her to be happy and healthy. But at this stage of the game, we are looking at repeated hospitalizations every time her CHF acts up and the fluid builds up again, until it's finally impossible for me to care for her at home. We are teetering on the brink of that point now, but it appears that she's going to rally around yet again and come home.
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I won't make any anti hunting comments but just for the record I am a real animal lover. So.............just saying.
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Pam thanks! I have lived my early childhood eating what my father hunted and fished, so u will never hear any negative comments from me.
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Fregflyer: Will the Donald have sheep in his new hotel too?
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Pam, oh my gosh, I just love historic buildings B&B... so much charm and history.... if those walls could talk to learn about the people that lived back in the 1800's [even though they aren't the original walls].
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Babalou, what I need is for those around me to realize just because I am standing upright, it doesn't mean I am 100%.

I have pre-osteoporosis so that is slowing down the recovery. Plus all the muscles and nerves that are trying to heal in the process, too. Night time is THE worse, cannot find a comfortable position... the doctor says the best place to sleep is in a recliner, and I don't have one.

Hotel sounds good, as I am trying to do too much here at home with cleaning, laundry, etc. I just can't let stuff sit for weeks on end. Sig other is the master of excuses but will drive me where ever I need to go. Maybe I need to buy a Shop-Vac to get him to vacuum :P
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Oh FF we do live close..LOL I want to go to Nora Roberts BNB in Boonsboro Md and just lay in one of those tubs for a few hours! Look it up! you will drool
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FF, I think taking yourself via cab to a hotel for a day or two might be a GREAT idea. Re the pain, what does the doctor say? I wouldn't assume this is normal, it should be getting less painful as the weeks go by. You might want to check.
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Pam, too bad we don't live closer... maybe when The Donald gets the Old Post Office in D.C. rehabbed into his new hotel we can go there.... he says it's going to have the best bathroom faucets that money can buy.... yep, that is how I choose my hotels, by their faucets :P
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Sharadale, thank God my hubs hunts! That gives me some space a few times a year! I still have mom.. but still!! And no anti hunting comments please..from anyone
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Can I get rid of my husband for a little while? I used to go out of town on business several times a month, but I retired to take care of mom and can't get away. I have suggested several trips for him to take but he is such a homebody that he won't go! I need a break from him not my mom.
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Maybe we can meet up and split the cost!!
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FF,, call that dang cab and take a mini break! There must be a decent hotel near you that you can hole up in and veg for a day or so.. cable TV, internet, room service and mini bar...LOL I know I;d love to do this once in awhile!
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Susan your Mom reminds me so much of my Mom. I found she didn't eat much but she always enjoyed french fries and ice cream a lot. She used to say "Oh I'd love a hamburger" So like someone else said maybe salty things for your Mom would work.

Lucky like I said in an earlier post the camera idea is a good one.

I personally am still having a real problem accepting my Mom is gone. I find it especially hard when I go out. Everywhere I look I remember times with her. Places we used to eat. Walks we took. Ah well..........these things take time I guess.
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I am having a major meltdown here.... feel like running away and all of this has to do with driving. I am unable to drive due to an injury, it's been 7 weeks alreay. Thus I had to cancel all of my parent's doctor appointments and misc errand runs... except for groceries which is an on-line service.

An hour ago Dad called me to find out if I knew of the audiologist's name who is located just down the street, as Mom wants to find yet another new hearing aid place.... [3rd one in 2 years]. Ok, I understand her frustration but how many doctors does she need to see that tell her there isn't anything more they can do.

Mom wants to go this week. I asked "who is going to drive you, I can't?"..... well, Dad said he will start driving again... that is like putting a match to dynamite, I explode whenever he says that..... it is so stupid,he's 93 and can barely see.... Dad said "if you can't drive what are we to do?"..... "Dad, call a cab like everyone else does"...

Then I exploded some more saying I am so tired of people picking at me because I can't do this or that. My boss is grumpy, my sig other is grumpy he needs to do more chores [poor, Baby], and I grumpy because of the pain I am dealing with.

I want to pack up and run away, but I can't, I can't drive :P
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Shilo, for some reason Amazon won't let me get on to the US website so I can't check the dollar price, but they start at £6 which is roughly $10, I think? They're the simplest thing in the world, just coated polyester sewn into a double sheet, but whoever came up with the idea is a genius. I didn't realise they weren't 'one size fits all' but googling it for the price I see there is endless variety…

Perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask your OT, if you have one? Failing that, google 'slide sheets for transfer' and pick the one that best corresponds. You will also see numerous guides about how to get her on to it and how to move her once she's on it. You will notice that many of these guides talk about two-caregiver handling, but we don't live in that ideal world: my mother weighed 140lbs give or take and I had no problems; but again consult your OT or dear old google for extra tips if you're having difficulty.

Just in case, because not even all experienced professional caregivers know this wrinkle, the final coup de théatre you can accomplish, once your mother is correctly positioned, is to remove the sheet from under her with No Skin Abrasion Risk. Slide your hand in between the two layers of polyester right underneath her and out the other side, firmly grasp the *lower* sheet hem, and steadily draw it towards you. Her skin is protected by the upper layer of sheet, the whole thing slides out from under and ta-daa! There you are. Perfectly positioned mother, no effort, no slide burns. 'Swonderful.
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Countrymouse, 1) what is the best size slide sheet you would recommend if I need it mainly to pull my mom up in bed. 2) what do you consider 'cheap as chips'?
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luckylu, I really like Freqflyer's idea of the wildlife camera! Also, could it be that the newspaper carrier is not delivering on certain days for some odd reason? I had a carrier once years ago that would skip days because of hangovers......
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luckylu, borrow or buy a WildLife camera and place it where the newspaper is usually thrown. Said cameras can be bought at Dick's Sporting Goods, and I bet even Wal-Mart would have them in the hunting aisle. Those cameras are great, they are water/snow proof... can take photos in the middle of the night using a motion sensor. Once a week you can get the photo disc out and insert it into your computer. Then you might see what is happening to your newspaper.... human or wildlife.
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Wow ! The number of things we are all having to do is overwhelming and there seems to be no real solutions for us to get past the hard feelings. I have been caregiving for mom for almost 7 years and she hates me for the things that have to be. She complains to everyone about that I won't give her all the cake, cookies, pizza, etc. that she wants. She tells me that moving here 11 years ago to be close to me was the worst and most stupid mistake she has ever made. She has not been diagnosed with dementia or alzheimers, docs just say she is old. She is sharp about some things but completely irrational and evil about others, but then she kinda always has been that way. She could care less about what I need to do and still hates the fact that I am not the shining adorable Shirley Temple like little girl she wanted. ( I am almost 60 now) A few months ago she pulled a really bad bunch of stunts over the period of two days and landed herself in a care home. She resents it and hates it there because the other residents are "crazy" as she says. Her physical needs are fairly high and she requires supervision 24/7 as she is a high fall risk and needs bathing assistance and toilet monitoring . She got mad when she found out that my husband and I went out of town for 5 days for our 29th anniversary. She resents that she can't go anywhere. She says she is imprisoned and wants to move out on her own and live by herself. She can't see, has had a couple of TIAs, has had stage 4 cancer for at least 7 years that we know of, breaks her teeth constantly, and has extreme bowel/hemorrhoid problems. She always tells me she won't be a burden much longer and she'll be gone. (she has pulled this line on me since I can remember since I was a toddler.) I am whining because I am so angry and hurt, and that I dont know what to do. She has no other family but me, and my daughter who won't put up with any of her nonsense and works in a hospital so sees people with real emergency room needs. This is my mom's new thing now, to say she hurts or what ever and needs to be taken to the emergency room. Yesterday she said she would like to go because they are nice there. The caregivers at the care home are very nice to her too. Mom doesnt like the residents and wants to distance herself from them. Yes, mom is more cognitive than them, but she is illogical and extremely contrary. When she broke her hip last September and was in rehab hospital for over a month she put on a show so she could get out and get home, but as soon as she got home, she did what she wanted which was nothing again. Just watch TV or try to knit. I could continue to whine but my post would never end. Thanks for listening !
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It takes a very long time for the digestive tract to recover from an assult by antibiotics. The good bacteria get killed off and the bad ones run riot. Even water can feel like swallowing acid. Turkey sandwiches on soft bread with the crusts cut off with plenty of butter or mayo go down well and lots of good quality yogurt for the probiotics but a small cup at a time. I personally hate Ensure but really like Boost so try several brands till you find something your loved one likes. Again personally I find using a straw helps with the swallowing. Follow what the professionals advice but don't be affaid to experiment if you find a better way. Remember "there is more than one way of killing a cat" Sorry animal lovers.
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Again,I went out to get Mothers newspaper and it is missing.We have new neighbors on both sides of our home.The only thing I know to dois to go door to door and tell people my Mother is dying and would they pleases let us know if they see anything.I have already made a big sign and put it out,but to no avail.Everything is hard enough without more problems to deal with.I never get to leave home,so the problems come to me,staying put..
On another note,I believe our Hospice knows something is about to happen.The chaplain called Friday morning when we will be seeing him tomarrow,on Monday and said "I am here if you need me before then"And in a big worded way,I think the nurse was saying Mothers body is shutting down.And the social worker called Thursday to see if there was anything we needed.I already walk on eggshells,scared iI will find Mother dead.
Hope you all are having a better day than we are.
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Susan your mum seems to be preferring salt to sugar right now would she drink some soup or a broth? Maybe some home made liver pate? I know when Dad lost his appetite he said everything tasted like what it was made of (excuse grammar there). He went from a chocoholic to someone who hated chocolate because it tasted like eating fat.

I gave dad puréed foods and found chicken livers puréed best of all but eh really like sausages and they purée well too. I'm sure you've tried all of these but just in case
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My MIL is also reeeeeaaaally not eating well. I found Boost pudding cups on Amazon. She likes them, i can usually gget 2 in her a day
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Susan, with the extra meds that make your mom sleepy it is no wonder she doesn't have much of an appetite. When my mom was having an appetite problem in the hospital they gave her megace. Megace is an appetite stimulant which is commonly used with cancer patients but is also used in other situations were nutrition is a factor. Hope your mom likes the view in her nh room.
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Thanks all - hoping to get mom's appetite built back up - I tried a milkshake yesterday with some protein in it, but she took 2 sips and said nothing tastes good to her right now, so that didn't work either. This morning she ate a couple slices of french toast (so 1 piece of bread, since they're cut in half) and some grapes, with a couple sips of milk. So again, no protein to speak of, just bread and fruit. Ugh. Last night she *did* eat most of 1/2 of a turkey sandwich and a few mandarin oranges, so at least she got a little protein.

Not sure when she'll be released to the nursing home today - have to wait for the doctor to show up to give the final word on her release. Called the nursing home already to make sure she gets the room she wants so she doesn't have to be moved later. (All the rooms have windows, but some face the back of the other building, which is depressing for Mom - she wants to be able to see the street and watch the activity outside. Might as well attack that issue first and not have to move her later.) Told Mom we will scale down her big birthday cookout and just have ice cream and cake at the nursing home and have family and friends come there instead. The logistics make a cookout a little dificult.

Mom was pretty down in the dumps yesterday - called me 5x, crying and feeling lonely, and her memory issues are amping up, big time. The longer she's in the hospital, the worse it gets. The sundowner-type symptoms started up again too, which only seems to happen in the hospital - she ripped her catheter out 2 nights ago, so last night, they bombed her with a sleeping pill to stop that happening again. (Nurse came in to check on her at 3am and there was a puddle of urine all over the floor and the catheter was out.) Mom said she never remembered pulling it out and they asked her "didn't that hurt?!?" - she said she never felt a thing. Scary.

Katie, you need to wrap your elbows in bubble wrap. lol The handles on the bathroom doors in the hospital get me every time - I'm always catching my arm on them and brusing the heck out of them.

Nursing home just called back - they had mom in a room where she couldn't see the street - so I asked them to move her - they put her in a room where she can't quite see the street, but she can see the patio and watch the activity out there. She'll like that.
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I forgot about those ice cream cups. Patients usually love those and this is a great idea in addition to those protein drinks for Susan's Mom or anybody that needs more protein!
My whine this morning....if I hit my elbows on the hospital bed rails one more time...ouch. Don't know why I keep managing to do this when I am attending to Mom. I don't put that rail down because I have her catheter bag rigged up there.
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Susan also ask about the magic cups. If you are not familiar with them they nutritional ice cream cups. You may need to get approval from the physician. Ask one of the nurses if they have them can they give it to her.
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