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Oh no...they were pets??? Well I'd have been gone anyway because i am not dating a man who raises spiders. ..i don't usually kill anything but i am NOT dating a man who raises spiders. ..eeeeek....Jude you're a mess
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OH my gosh, Jude!! I'm dying laughing over here.

I once dispatched a very large, nasty spider - so big I could hear his feet making noise in the tub as he tried to climb out - that's what drew my attention to him as I walked through the bathroom. I sent him to his glory in a very shiny, lemon-scented state, as the only thing I had at hand was a can of Lemon Pledge furniture polish. I sprayed the beejesus out of him.

And then there was the few times I had to dispatch a bat that somehow found its way out of the attic and into the house I was living in at the time. I'd wake up at 3am, hearing flapflapflapflapflapflap over my head, and I'd leap into action, grabbing my trusty badminton racket and striking an attack pose in the living room. I'd wait for the winged vermin to start his figure-8 pattern of swooping through the long, narrow room, and as he hit the arc of his swoop over my head on one end of the room, I'd swing and THWACK! - I'd clobber him like an overgrown furry shuttlecock and send him careening into the opposite wall. I developed quite a technique for it over time. I had to - the landlord refused to get rid of the bats in the attic.
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK Susan now see I can clean up poo till it comes out of me ears well not literally like but creepy crawlies? Not in a million. Vaguely beetlish? Vaguely? I would be torn between ripping the place apart to find it and moving to a different room. it is a real phobia for me and I just can't bear them.

I guess now is a time to tell you a funny story. A long time ago when I was in my teens I had the sexiest boyfriend ever. he was gorgeous and after about two months he invited me back to his place (yeah I know 2 months but things were different then)

Well after a few coffees I needed the rest room especially as he was about to show me a portfolio of photos he had taken. (not of me ...I dont do pictures very often)

The toilet was in the bathroom and there in the bath were three humungous spiders, not tarantulas - we don't have those - but they were enormous and vile. Now it didnt stop me peeing, far from it, but I didnt take my eyes off them in case they were planning their attack!

I decided I would show dear sweet sexy man that I was the perfect housewife (well sort of) so I grabbed the bleach and doused them in it then flushed them down the plug hole with very very hot water. Oh I also helped them on their way with a loo brush so they were well decimated by the time they disappeared.

Now I apologise if you're a buddhist or just someone who likes spiders but like I said they have to be dead before I can cope with them and these were very dead.

I went back into the lounge and then came the crashing words. What do you think of these beauties? I have had them since they were really tiny...you must have seen them in the bath. And there was his portfolio the growing life of three spiders in glorius technicolor........hmmm how to get out of this one?

I made an excuse left and never went back ...he never phoned but I somehow know he knew I had done the deed! Could have been the bleach smell!!

And as for being a therapists nightmare good on you woman they get paid too much anyway for doing very very little except expecting you to reach your own conclusions. Hell I dont even know the questions let alone the answers!
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Gershun, al i want to do is sleep too. I am so completely exhausted and now it is that hot stinking humid southern heat....ugh....my cousin invited herself to come for a visit tomorrow. I have been putting her off but i finally knew i might as well let her come and as predicted, i now wish i had kept avoiding her. Her visits last the entire day and she never knows when to leave, sits on her butt all day and i end up having to wait on her hand and foot. God what was i thinking. When will i ever learn to put my own needs ahead of everyone else's. ..im doomed because i doomed myself. ..it is my own d*mn fault so no point whining and i know if
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Looking for a lid for my slow cooker,look high n low but it was not to.be found,went into the freezer to take out dinner ,well yes the.lid was inside the freezer. Whine whine and more whine
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Dad mrMel lost his yeeth last month. My husband worked many extra hours to buy this new set last week. Dad is in the house...eating brownies at his table and turned to my lil boy...and said..i think my teeth are missing! Seriously again..house is clean..since we cleaned ot out a mo.ago. im not whining now..more like crying mixed with b#tching.
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My cats kill bugs for me too but they may stop if I don't get out of the funk I've been in. I've been so wrapped up in myself and grieving over my Mom I've been ignoring my kitties a bit I'm afraid not to mention my hubby.

All I feel like doing it seems is sleeping. At least when I am asleep I'm not dwelling on things although I dream about my Mom a lot.
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Glad to see I'm not the only one dealing with the bugs. I know what stink bugs are - this wasn't it. It was just a garden-variety black-shelled beetle. Big enough to give you a startle when you feel it crawling up your leg and see it in your bedsheets, but harmless. Just annoying and not something I want in bed with me.
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Oh, no it must be bug day. Started to type a question and my mother started yelling something, not her usual "help me...I need your help". So I ran in to see what was wrong and she said "bug" pointing to her finger. I looked at her finger, not seeing a thing just took a kleenex and wiped it off. I think I got it, was it just one? I think so, she said. Let me know if you see any more. We have had a few ants and fruit flies so it could have been one of them but I didn't see anything. Also, I have to test her sugar and she bruises easy since on blood thinner so there are spots on the tips of her fingers. Maybe she thought one of those spots was a bug. I hope this isn't the start of something when she imagines things.
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Lol...know what you mean. I don't understand though. ..all our ever took was for me to see a sign and i politely left. ..people are nutso
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Hope22 I had a sign up too, saying do not knock at this door and giving my mobile/cellphone number in case of emergencies. Delivery men used to compromise by tapping on the window instead, Gawd help us, so I eventually worked out that you have to follow up the sign with flinging the door open furiously and standing there hands on hips with a face like thunder - even the dimmest will get the message in the end.
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Amen ! I have had a sign. .clearly visible, ever since i moved home because initially, before Mama became bedfast, if anyone knocked she would try to get up even though i told her do not even attempt it..the idiots knocked anyway. One time Mama tried to crawl over the edge of her lift chair and it flipped over. .thank God she was ok, but it could have been disastrous. I didn't put that sign up for fun. .but i am in disbelief how people ignore it.
Lately one of my biggest irks is a local religious community who simply will not leave me alone. I finally told them look, i have my own church i attend when i am even able to attend and in the meantime do not contact me again as it interferes with our morning routine. I am a believer but i do not appreciate their noon stop impromptu visits. It had gotten to the point where i am almost ready to call the police and that is not something i want to do but why can people not get the message. I flat out told the lady one who caught me that i was not interested in joining their congregation. Now i see them coming i just pull the curtain and walk away.

The aid thing. ..by the time i show a new one where all the stuff is, how i have to do things, etc our regular one will be back. ..thanks but NO THANKS
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Hope - I know exactly what you are saying...every word! The aide service most likely will send different aides and think nothing of it because it is sooo easy for an aide to walk in the door and pick up where another has left off. You don't have to show them or tell them anything as they will know where everything is and what is needed to be done. Never mind you have appointments set or your own time schedule...they don't mean anything! I too have gotten very good at ignoring the knocks and door bell rings. If one has not called in advance and received a proper invitation to come by my door is not going to be answered. If you continue to knock/ring and disturb us just look out cuz you won't want to be greeted by this "person" I assure you. There is a reason I don't answer the door.
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Shilo...i don't like the changing of our schedule either. Our aid is about to go on vacation so we will be without her for aweek and of course they have folks to send in her stead but thing is, that means aweek of never knowing when someone is coming and that to me is more aggravating than just doing it myself. ..well still have her nurse so i can handle the other. Mercy knows did it for two years before we got any help. ..it's amazing hop
People think that because I'm here pretty much all the time that i don't have a schedule. ..ive gotten really good at ignoring knocks at the door or any other impromptu pop inners...
...
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My cats also are excellent at getting rid of anything that shouldn't be in here. .although one of them brought a bat and put it in the bed with me one summer when i was sleeping on the sun porch one evening. ..still alive at that. ..

I have a friend who is determined to fix me up with a man. ..oh my lord, i have already told her that is one thing i do not want to deal with right now. .i don't have the time. Patience or wherewithal to deal with it. To be honest i am not lonely most of the time because most people bother me so badly with all the mindless chatter about stuff that does not matter to me any more. One thing this has shown me is how much of what uses to seem like life shattering drama doesn't mean a flying toot anymore. ..i also think for now it's a good idea for me to live in the moment instead of waiting for later on. ..later may never come and im liable to miss something precious if im constantly looking ahead.

I can't remember if i toll this or not but last sunday i was about to toss some half filled balloons from various occasions and decide to make use of them. I inhaled the helium and proceeded to sing tunes to Mama "chipmumk" style. It made her smile so i accomplished my mission

Mama used to tell me all the time she could make herself as happy as she chose to be. .im trying to follow her example
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Cerise, no offense, no worry!
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Bugs are no issue for me, with having cats all my life they are always bringing in what I call in their world "fast food" [anything that flies, crawls, leaps]... I remember one cat bringing home a Bat, yikes... another one I had to carefully unhook a Praying Mathis from her face.... another one had something buzzing in his mouth, it was a beetle, he was so proud of that.

My sig other is scared silly of bugs, so he will come wide eyed to me to get this strange looking bug like creature off the drapes... so I just scoop up the Stink Bug in my hand and flush it down the toilet. Really now, not all bugs are like Jaws!!

If there is a bug in bed with me, all I need to do is yell BUG and my herd of 3 felines will do their job and remove the bug for me... unless it is a spider... all of us are afraid of those :P
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I hope I didn't offend by addressing comments specifically. I certainly would not intentionaly exclude anyone.
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Just got a call from the aide asking if she could start an hour early today so she could go out to dinner with her parents tonight. Second day on the job asking to alter the schedule so she can go out and have fun. She irritated me the first day big time and I didn't know how she was going to work out. I couldn't wait for her to leave Monday. Now I don't even want her to come today.
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I thought this was group therapy?
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I found the bug. I must have battered him half-senseless and he crawled into the bathroom and died. Found him just a bit ago when I showered.

Now I'm trying to get Mom to shower. She's extremely tired this week and we can't figure out why. Her meds are all right where they should be, her O2 levels are much better now that she's back on oxygen (she was off for about 2 weeks after she came out of the nursing home, because she didn't appear to need it, but now her levels drop again if she performs any physical activity, so she's back on it). But she's just exhausted all the time and just wants to sleep. Part of me wonders if her body is just plain tired and worn out. She's gone way downhill from 2 years ago.
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Stop worrying guys about that stray beetle shaped bug it is probably a stink bug. DO NOT squish them under any circumstances, just get them outside. They don't bite but they do stink. They are worse in some parts of the country and people who live there will tell you swarms of them try and get into the house.
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Susan, feeling just the same about the creepies, don't really mind them if I see them but hate it when my hair falls on my arm and tickles. If I can remember where I hid the sissors I'm thinking about cutting it off today. Not in a poor brittany way but as I can't get to the hairdresser I think a bit of DIY.
Katie, I would like to borrow your " clueless fools " title as I have a simliar list . My language seems to have taken a colourful turn recently and though I don't say it outloud the "****wits list" could maybe benefit from a more subtle name.
Jude, Mum gave me another special memory today. We have a small wildlife (untidy) pond with frogs and Mum spotted something on the grass she thought was a toad. We went over to find it was something the dog had left behind. Mum is a very gentle reserved lady so I nearly fell over laughing when she said " Oh it's a turd not a toad." Love her.
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I am lucky that we have space. Mom died 10 weeks after I relocated both of them closer to me. We were lucky and I sold many items on Craigslist, sis took items back with her, I had a niece and a coworker take items as well.I had ungrateful landlord though and ended up paying 2 more months rent due to no fault of my own but gave me more time to deal with all the stuff. The second floor of my husbands workshop still has most of the kitchen stuff. But I have tote bins full of clothes my of Dads, some I do not know if he will wear again plus his seasonal room decor stuff. He has an exercise bike in his room I do not know if he rides it anymore? But since he has gained weight I have to buy him new pants and will get yet another tote to store his current ones in.
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Ugh, I have been creepy-crawly all night and it's continuing right into today. A stray piece of hair fell out of my head onto my neck/shoulder just now and I just about jumped right out of my skin. I hate feeling like this. If I could have found the stupid bug and killed it, I'd feel better. Never did find the darn thing, and as far as I know, it trundled off somewhere else in the house. Now I'll be itching and scratching all day. Ewww.
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By bragging mode I mean people I encounter in person or via email or phone that brag about vacations, etc. NOT the people on here...in reading my previous post I hope that is clear! Though we caregivers have every right to brag about all we can do and handle on a daily basis...it makes us stronger than many of the petty people we deal with in our worlds.
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Lately people seem to be on a bragging about what they are doing mode. Must be the time of year. I find that some people even act like I want things to be this way! If I wanted something it would be for my poor Mom to NOT be trapped in her failing body, bedridden and suffering, and for her to be well and independent again !!!

During this rough time I have run into some good people, and many bad ones. Those bad people are on my list of "clueless fools" to someday be forgotten, many who should not be working in the health or nursing home field. I feel that I can be glad for the time I have spent battling to get Mom better and making sure she is comfortable.....but these fools have to live with themselves and their failings and job dissatisfaction each and every day for the rest of their lives. I have outright told some of the people that in that awful "5 Star" nursing home for rehab where Mom sustained that pressure wound a year ago. That seemed to really hit home with them.
Susan, the bug sounds like a garden beetle but I would have felt the same way! Bugs! It is that time of year and I feel crawly just thinking of them! They seem to get more active before a rain storm.
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Cerise that will be such a special memory for you and while you did CHOOSE to care because you care de facto your sister, who doesn't feel the same way (and that is fine too) will NEVER have those special moments because, even if she did, she probably wouldn't understand how special they were
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When we moved Mum in with us, we knew she wouldn't be safe upstairs, so we put everything from our dining room into the garage and brought all her bedroom furniture in. We didn't want her downstairs alone incase I couldn't hear her so our main room is our bedroom now. The smaller day/ tv room looks like a junk shop over full of bits of our and Mum's furniture and trinkets. Still I chose to do it and as my sister says " if you don't like it put her in a home, simple as". I wonder what life looks like from that perspective, sometimes wish I could care less. Heard a line from a song "if I miss the highs at least I'm spared the lows'. and thought that would be quite good for a change. Had a walk around the garden this morning with Mum and showed her a flower that had broken off, put bins out, laundry on, picked up dog poo, quickly put all clothes and photos Mum had packed, back in place while she was in the bathroom, went to wash the breakfast dishes and was amazed to find she had put the flower in water on the window sill like she always used to, that was a high for me that might just get me through the day. Hoping everyone finds something that lifts your spirits today.
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I'm going insane here. As if caring for Mum wasn't enough moving is 1000 times worse.

We are having to downsize again. I moved her with all my stuff and we downsized to get it all in...then Mum's aids arrived insidiously entering the house - the walker, the rollator, the 2 commodes, the 2 perch stools the wheelchair the pads (don't they take up some space ffs?) the wipes, the creams meds lotions and potions, the extra bins for unsanitary items.

Now we think we may have found a bungalow which is smaller (they are much more expensive than house in the UK purely because land is the costly factor here) so we are looking to downsize again. I just don't know where I am going to put everything we actually HAVE TO HAVE. I think I am going to come live over there with you all... at least you have more space

If only my body would downsize too!

Caring really is a sh*t job and how you all manage it so well is utterly beyond me so Well done ladies (and gents) do have a virtual bottle of wine to end your day. (like you ever have a bottle of wine - we all need to be too alert to get plastered)
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