I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Shilo8, my ENT also suggested the vaseline in the nose.. really works for me!
we are having my Dad's memorial service this weekend, and have to leave for my Aunts in Pa tomorrow early. Spend the day making salads and such to take. Started the day dropping a jar of Mayo on my toe.. trying to keep Mom from getting too stressed (about Everything).. She is now getting things mixed up.. please let this be stress or I am gonna do myself in...
Had to order new specially tops as i can't move my arm to put it in a shirt sleeve... oops looks like i will need to go barefoot, too, can't tie my shoes.
i am just thankful i don't need to do hands on care for my parents. They are still grumbling about not going to doctor appts etc. Heck i can't drive for 2 months. And sig other now has this hands full doing all my chores here at home... that man must had been in the wrong line when common sense was handed out !!... like handing me a bottle of pills that has a child proof cap without opening it first.... HELLO.
I hate it when she goes into the bouts of hypochondria, because she gets so angry and abusive. She had an ENT check her nose not long ago and he gave her an all-clear. I know it is because she is making it sore by having her finger up it all the time.
I wish she weren't such a bully. If she doesn't get her way, there is hell to pay. But my foot is down. No more doctor appointments unless I make them myself.
Seriously, I'm starting to wonder if she has a touch of bipolar in her. It seems when something eases her depression, it sends her into obsessions. It is so tempting to cut down on the Remeron in order to increase my own quality of life. It shouldn't be this way -- her feeling better making my life unbearable to live.
That's what you say all the time!!! " How's it feel when I'm the one complaing"!! UGH!
But I won't!!
The other thing was people ringing up to make sure I was okay (I wasn't, was I meant to be?), which was sweet of them, but also to make sure I wasn't alone. Sheesh! - I was desperate to be alone just to sit still and think.
Give yourself time. In a daze is exactly right, you need time for it to clear a little. Sit tight, huge hugs to you - and by all means keep talking to her. Who's to say she doesn't know? And even if she doesn't, if it makes you feel better go to it. Hugs again.
Well its been 4 days since my Mom has passed. I am very fearful of the future and what it holds. I'm holding my own so far but to be honest I am in a daze and not really focusing too well. Once the realization sets in and life gets routine again I don't know how I am going to handle things.
I find myself talking to my Mom still. Don't worry, I am not losing my mind. I wonder if she can still hear me. I say things like "I love you Mom" and "i miss you Mom"
My husband talks about "normal" things and I can't blame him for this but I just don't want to do that cause then I'll have to admit she is really gone.
I hope I don't sound weird. Can anyone out there relate?
Just thought I would check in with you.
My Mom had written her wishes in a letter that she did not want any kind of funeral or memorial service. We have a dedicated bench in a park near where my Mom lived with a plague honoring my late brother. We are going to add my Mom's name to this bench and have a little gathering there.
I walked there today and sat on this bench for a while. It felt perfect and just what my Mom would of wanted. :)
Thanks again everyone for all your heartfelt wishes.
Jeanette, Susan, Countrymouse, special wishes for you. Hang in there!!!
Mom is in better spirits this morning and was up and dressed by the time I got there for my a.m. visit - she's excited to get started and seems raring to go today. I'm just glad to see her in a better frame of mind after yesterday.
Things here continue on... about the same yet worse. God forgive me but I can't help wonder why He allows such suffering and heartache and secretly wish he'd just go ahead and take her. It's is downright cruel to watch my mother suffer so, yet my hands are tied. Not only am losing my mother but I have lost so many people I loved... they said I've changed and no longer a nice person and opinions have been made concerning me. Never in my life have I felt entirely alone and disliked by so many. How I WISH I could get a hold of the "I don't give a f-ck" attitude and let this just roll off and away... can't seem to do it though. Sigh... if only I could be as evil, mean and whatever else it is they seem to think I am.
Oh... A special Happy 80th Birthday to my mother :))) I wish I could give her the present of peace, freedom, memories and lack of pain. God, only you can do that and she has suffered enough already.
Hang in there all.... these are the hardest days of them all.
Just got an email from a very successful financial coach who is interested in me as an assistant and wants to interview me next week. I not at all sure I can take on any additonal work at this point, because I'm quite certain Mom's situation is going to interfere even more in the future. She has the potential to be a major client for me, financially, and that's very hard to pass up, especially right now - but I've never been one to take work on when I know I can't perform it up to my standards.
(Sigh). I think I'm going to have to pass it up. I just can't see me bringing anyone else on board at this point. Frustrated.
she was sitting at nh today watching foot traffic at the front doors with a few other old women . that aint right -- such a capable person being warehoused ..
i have nothing good to say about nh . they literally cram the elders from place to place to suit their own needs all day . the ones with no family watching out for them are ignored and neglected . i know one old bipolar gal who has 1/2 inch long toenails that have curled into talons and must hurt like h*ll . nobody cares , she has no family advocating for her .
She's not out of the woods by a long shot. We have a very long road ahead.
i hope the elder laws are finetuned to prevent poa's from bullying elders in the future . nobody should tell a dignified 91 yr old person what they can or cant do . my sons wouldnt try it , id beat knots on their heads with my dying breath . they'll have a helluva a time taking my keys someday too . i can hotwire a 747 and they know it .
This is killing me.