I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Last year my mother got one from my brother in SIL's handwriting that essentially said sorry we won't be seeing you, we're having a big party for Grandson 2's 30th birthday and you're not invited. And the picture was this mildly irritating sexist joke about how hopeless men are at ironing. I just said oo look a lovely card and put it on the mantelpiece; fortunately at that time mother was too tired and ill to insist on reading it for herself.
This year, though - we have ours in March, just before Easter - it was a pretty photograph of lily of the valley and "thinking of you" in brother's own handwriting. Ok, yeah, big deal; but I was pleased he'd stirred himself that much at least. Got to be grateful for the small victories, no?
I happened to be at wallyworld today and so thought, hey, I'll go ahead and get my Mother's Day card...and it is hard to find one now that says what I want so I tend to find one that is pretty, has some sweet short message and then I write my own verbage....Mama doesn't really read a card now, it is heartbreaking going through it actually, as is any holiday, but I am still thankful to have her here with me...I am exhausted for some reason today...a lot of pooing all over the place for some reason...most of the time I am able to handle that without a hitch..for some reason it just feels more exhausting than others...
Katie, the thing about dismissing the folks who have angered me as fools...that would mean dismissing pretty much every single person who comes here now...lol.... but what has actually dawned on me, when the sad day arrives that Mama decides to leave me, I am going to be completely alone because even though I have huge extended families on both sides, not one person has been here for Mama or for me, so I am done with all of them...how sad....but that's ok...I have come to terms with it...
I tend to buy blankish ones that just say Happy whatever then write my own verse in them. Not always what I want to write but then I dont think she'd appreciate my sense of humour....
Ive cleaned up mess 7 times today
Dont you think Im tired of it
All you do is moan and whine
And of course you sh...
Ould be resting up today
you had such a restless night
You rang that bell 5 times to talk
And all you talked was sh......
all we go somewhere nice today
To the galleries to look at art
Or perhaps a walk through the park nearby
But mother please dont f....
eel you need to decide
What you want to do today
Because despite my moans and groans
I wish you Happy Mothers Day
Dad grumbled that he would need to call their electrician and that would probably cost him $100.00. I had to bite my tongue because it sounded like Dad didn't care if I fell backwards off that ladder loosing my balance from dizziness as he would have saved $100 [or whatever the cost].
Heck, I had called the same electrician a few months ago to help me change the batteries in the ceiling smoke detectors.... no way was I climbing up a ladder to do that. Now, 10 years ago I could have.
My SIL does not come to see my Mama...hasn't been here in over three years now, even though she passes within two blocks of our home on a weekly basis on her way to their lakefront estate (that used to be half mine) But on the few times that Mama was in the hospital over the course of the last few years, the minute she knew I had gone home to change clothes, here she came, making a big show of herself and then once she knew I was headed back she was gone....and yet no one even seems to notice that behavior...I have to say I will never understand very much of what all has gone on over the course of the past few years, but finally did realize the only way I was going to survive was to do my best to let it go and just try to be happy in my own mind, knowing I have been the one who has been here...and God knows it too...
My mother is in the hospital after one ER trip a month ago for falling, during which she severely banged her head. The last three ER trips came this past weekend, two of which resulted in her being sent back to the NH. The first was the resulted of a nasty fall (her eye is black, her forehead has some sort of blister type bruise) the second of the three was because she was acting out. The third, was yesterday, at which time she was speaking inappropriately. I believe one of those hits has changed her dementia 'timeline' if you will. The NH says one thing, hospital indicates another.
A neighbor's MIL just went through what you're going through now. About a week into it, the MIL took a breath and it stopped.
All our thoughts are with you. While I'm less stressed since I decided in the NH route, I have to tell you there are times when you just wonder what the heck is going on with the health care system in this country? One hand doesn't know what the other is doing. HIPPA laws and patient rights laws are over the top.
It's exasperating.
I don't even have the words to say to any of you in so much uncertainly, waiting and pain right now...My heart and prayers go out to all of you....I have had a lot of really bad and difficult things in my life, but I know none of them are as difficult as this is...or as lonely as it seems sometimes...and yet at the same time, I am thankful to be here...while I have been given this extra time I am making the most of it and my brother is as well. I reach a point sometimes where I don't even know how to pray anymore...and so I just repeatedly ask God to please don't leave us....and I know He won't....thinking of you all......
i believe her digestive system ground to a halt and she felt it happen . i once offered her an ice cube and she accepted it .
the hospice nurse said we were right to not push food or water on her . ive seen that compared to watering a dying house plant in end of life literature .
when in a few hours mom developed terminal restlessness it was time to knock her out with liquids ativan and morphine . we were instructed to keep her knocked out regardless of how much morphine was required because her body was actively dying . mom had a multi decade hydrocone dependancy and kinda liked opiates . i suppose in her final hours she was jellin like a felon but ill probably always believe she could recieve auditory input .
My Mum on the other hand has had the family called in twice and has not just surged but rallied to the point we are taking her on holiday next week.
I have no clue who wrote our life plans - all I do know is that they did an absolutely crap job of it
As far as your sister.... I agree, well anyway.
I spent 6 hrs. with her today. Would of liked some time alone with her but my sister has decided to camp out by my Mom's bed.(fair enough) But I find it funny that someone who wasn't there much during my mom's life is now the doting daughter at my mom's deathbed. Didn't have the courtesy to leave for even half hour to let me have some time.
Sorry if I sound b*tchy and bitter. I know that it sounds bad but ........well anyway.