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life is sure a head spin . the old ( ex ) renter ( burley ) came by this am and wasnt aware his daughter had moved out ( evicted ) from here . he said living with his daughters blows and he might like to rent my bunker . he's always loved this place . burley is 84 and the kindest man ive ever met . hes probably going to hang with me for the few days hes in indiana and may rent the bunker on his own behalf later . he's the adhesive that held this household together for 2 years . every time hed go to W VA his daughter would toss back the everclear and tear up things .
sandy is off the island , burley and i might proceed rather smoothly .
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go^ not got and please exchange genders where applicable
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Oooh the chance cards
You plan a day out but carer rings to say she cant come pay sibling $200 so you can get some me time
You check your mums bank balance only to find she has written a check to a sibling who never visits - lose $500
You have to rush mum into hospital with a suspected UTI and wait 3 hours to be seen miss 2 turns
You have been told off by one of your relatives for shouting at mum who is deaf. The relative never visits - go outside and scream - miss one turn
A neighbour visits and offers to sit with mum for 2 hours have an extra turn
You got out well prepared but Dad soils twice and you dont have a third pair of pants miss 3 turns and pay $100 dollars

Will they do for starters?
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jesse,
i dont mean to say anything is easy , just a good learning / growing experience .
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Jeanette my thoughts are with you. Try to remain strong, I know you must be terrified. Your mom knows you are there with her, she can feel your love. All the heavenly spirits and God's angels are surrounding you and your mom.
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Okay, capn, guess someone should say it. I've been around here for about 3 years now. I used to feel so bad for your mother because you talked about her so bad. Man, at the names you called her. It makes me realize that we're always look back more kindly than when we're going through it.
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Jude, I can't wait to hear what those little cards will say.....I already know we never get to pass Go and never get to collect $200. Are there greedy siblings somewhere (just for authenticity's sake).
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Atlantic Avenue becomes At last a decent geriatrician
B & O Railroad becomes BO is the norm
Baltic Avenue becomes balls to it all
Boardwalk becomes bored out of my mind
Connecticut Avenue becomes cant connect at all
Electric Company becomes lights are on but nobody is home
Illinois Avenue becomes ill everywhere
Indiana Avenue becomes in da poo
Kentucky Avenue becomes cant deal with yucky
Marvin Gardens becomes marvel I made it through the day
Mediterranean Avenue becomes meditate they might go away
New York Avenue becomes new anything would be good
North Carolina Avenue becomes Northing is going right today
Oriental Avenue becomes O god help me I wanna scream
Pacific Avenue becomes Pacify them? dont go there
Park Place becomes I'll park anwhere I damned well choose
Pennsylvania Avenue becomes Pens gone missing again
Pennsylvania Railroad becomes Pens could be any flaming where
Reading Railroad becomes Read? She can't see let alone read
Short Line becomes Short tempered
St. Charles Place becomes Saints preserve me
St. James Place becomes Saints preserve them too
States Avenue becomes Oh we know what a state we are in
Tennessee Avenue becomes Tena and wee
Ventnor Avenue becomes venting on line with mates
Vermont Avenue becomes Where has she gone now
Virginia Avenue becomes Verging on the ridiculous
Water Works remains unchanged we have lots of them
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as mentally excruciating as dementia care is , i still see my time with mom as one of lifes most fulfilling achievements . she resisted everyone else and that made me feel really trusted .
later my aunt told first her doc in private and then told me that she just feels safe with me . im really proud of the confidence both of them had in me .
it isnt all torture , you can develop more confidence in yourself from these life experiences .
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I understand, just going out of town for four days requires several weeks of planning. My idea of a vacation these days is a long walk in Publix by myself.
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Well meaning friends...they really don't know the situation. One person told me to hire round the clock caregivers in home 24/7 for my Mom so I could leave on a 2 week vacation....maybe I ought to install a revolving door too....what in the world would 24/7 caregivers cost for 2 weeks? How in the world could anyone relax with all those people parading in and out and wondering what is going on while I am not there? What about all my Mom's complicated problems?
Vacation? I found that if I sit in the local supermarket parking lot with the car windows open and my eyes closed and listening to the seagulls that come there looking for food I can pretend I am at the beach or sailing out at sea for about a minute.....haha, that is as good as it is gonna get!
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So, ER sent her back to the nursing home less than a few hours after she arrived. NH calls me to tell me she has a UTI. Needless to say, I'm a bit 'annoyed'.

One would believe a NH would know what a UTI looks like in the elderly. Also, why can't NH take a bit of urine and dip a test strip in it? Yes, I know, the 'test strips' aren't always accurate. Oh, wait. When I stick a test strip in, it's always 'accurate'! Rules!

She was placed on IV antibiotics, given a little Ativan, and is now resting comfortably.

@Susan - still loving your game. And it did make me laugh.

@Freq Flyer - interesting story. You must have been worried.

@ Jude - love your 'get out of jail' card idea. Perhaps when someone passes Go they get one free Respite Care Card.

Thankfully, I haven't had much to whine about lately. But when I do, I know where to come :)
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There ya go, Jude! LOL We'll have this board game all set up in our heads soon. The "Chance" cards could be, "Mom getting up dry from her nap." "Getting your loved one to eat something nutritious." "Tried to sleep in, Dad woke you by banging cane on the floor because he was hungry." "Grandkids want you to visit - too bad, you can't, because you can't afford a caregiver for Gran."
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You know the get out of jail card? well that could be get some respite - there's usually only one chance in a million of getting either!
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lol , board game .
every third space should be a repeat of the story where my mom had her church books audited and the results came up 10 cents in her favor .
my helper ( hor ) has rebelled . seems she doesnt want my painting tips . the farm owner is pretty smart so he and his wife put heather in charge of the painting so she doesnt have to work for my ( hard ) ass . i fell right in line and am now getting the daily painting instructions from her -- not a problem with me . just to be the jerk tho i climbed up on scaffold and stained out a series of ceiling beams in the great room and " I " cant even pick this work apart its so freakin nice . not a speck of stain on the white ceilings . everybody out there can see from the quality of the work that im havin a little fun out of heather . her paintwork is atrocious but the homeowner are ok with it , heathers too dam blind to see the flaws and i personally dont care , it aint my problem .
hor is the self aclaimed master of passive aggressive mind games while i dont really play that way . i just have shockingly high quality control standards for my work .
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Concerned and thinking about our friend Jeanette today. I know she must be going through some horribly hard times right now. No update from her likely means she's focused elsewhere (as she should be). ((Hugs))
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Litldogtoo - I don't know, it just came to me one day that all the things we go through as caregivers would make for a very challenging board game, and would definitely give non-caregivers a small glimpse into our world in a humorous and non-threatening manner. Unfortunately, too many people would find it offensive to laugh at some of the things we deal with - they would find it insensitive. What they don't realize is that we *have* to laugh at some of these things or view them in a humorous light, or we would be in tears 90% of the time.

My whine today is (well-meaning) friends who tell us about all the available options for help in our location...not knowing the full situation with our elderly loved one, which means we have to keep saying, "no, that won't work...no, that won't either..." and then they act miffed or insulted because we shoot down their ideas. Without knowing our loved one's situation, they can't possibly know what will work, and while I appreciate the suggestions, I don't have time to keep fielding suggestions from everyone and anyone when I know the situation here intimately and what will/won't work. I don't mean to sound grouchy but....arrrgh. I live in a very small town, a very economically depressed county, in a state with one of the worst economies in the country. Our local aging program offers exactly ONE HOUR of free respite care per week. One. Hour. What am I supposed to do with that? That's barely enough time to drive to the local big-box store, dash inside, buy a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread and get back - let alone full-scale grocery shopping. We have a social worker coming next week to discuss Mom's situation, and I guess I'll find out if there's anything else available.
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This afternoon I went down to my parent's house to pick up their grocery list... Mom was upset, she couldn't find my Dad... she said she looked all over the house and even looked in the garage and his rolling walker was still there... she was afraid he fell somewhere [Mom has serious macular degeneration so she can barely see. So I searched the whole house, all 3 floors, searched the whole garage, walked around the house.

Their neighbor across the street was outside and I asked him if he had noticed my Dad outside at any point this afternoon... he said he didn't.

Later Mom mentioned that Dad said something about voting... ah ha, today was one of the primaries here in our district... so I went to my Dad's desk and sure enough his wallet wasn't there. I bet when one of the campaigners had called and Dad said he needed a ride.

Dad showed up 45 minutes later... whew... yep he went to vote but parking was terrible and Dad had sat too long in the volunteer's car, he couldn't get out the car, so the volunteer drove him home.

Ah, Dad, next time please leave a note on the kitchen counter... Mom was so worried.... Dad said he told her where he was going... earth to Dad, Mom is very hard of hearing you have to make sure she understood you.

Where's my padded helmet?
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@Susan - Love your idea. How on earth did you come up with that one!
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Well, I thought I was out of the woods when the nursing home failed to call at an ungodly hour this morning to tell me my mother had fallen (she's been brought to the ER twice this week)

Two hours later, at 9:00, the phone rings and I hear a voice telling me she didn't fall, but stood up while at the nurse's station (they've been watching her) placed herself on the floor, and lay down, which is quite a feat when you stop to think this is a woman who has never actually just sat on a chair in a ladylike manner, but has always just kind of 'plopped' herself on chairs.

She's trying to tell us (me) something but don't yet know what it is.
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@Susan - I have to laugh because last summer when my mother was here she told me about the tropical storm that was coming (I told her she imagined it) ... that evening after I turned on the news, I saw there indeed was a TS storm (may be a hurricane, according to weather) that was coming.

As it turned out, it just turned out to be lots of rain, some wind, but she knew.
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Ooops see they are always imagining things
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Well, apparently we had an earthquake here in Michigan about an hour ago - a 4.2 magnitude, largest we've ever had. Mom said she felt the house shaking right at that time, while I felt nothing (darn it!). I chalked it up to dementia and her imagination until I started seeing the news reports. Go figure!
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Yep Susan you can just see the righteous toads who have never cared for anyone except themselves getting on their high horses. The game should come with a 'community chest' where they have to physically walk a day in your shoes. That'd sort em out
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I'd definitely run it to the patent office if so many people wouldn't find it "patently" (ha!) offensive. Only caregivers would "get it" and even some of those would find it callous - so the game remains only in my mind. I'm thinking it's fodder for a blog post, though. The blog I haven't created yet - because I don't have time. LOL
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Perhaps it is the first to lose all their sanity points - for they are the true carers!!!!!!!! joke poeple joke or was it
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The only sad thing about the game is I can't figure out how anyone would ever win. Maybe it would be the one that had the most sanity points in the end?
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Susan you better RUN to the US Patent office with your idea! Quick before someone else does! That is a fabulous idea!
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Oh I love it Susan what a wonderful idea
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Jude, I've said before that I think someone needs to invent a board game called "Dementia-Opoly" or something like that. Roll the dice, move forward 10 spaces. Pick up a card. "Mom just wet the bed and all her clothing - lose a turn while you clean up." Roll again - "Dad regales you with wonderful stories of his childhood - win 20 points" Roll again - "You take Mom to grocery store, lose 2 turns while she decides what cereal to buy." Roll again - "Dad took a bad fall, lose 2 turns and a week's pay (and possibly your job) while staying with him in the hospital." Roll again - "Mom had a (rare) good day, and you were able sleep in. Gain 10 sanity points."

It might help non-caregivers understand what we go through on a daily basis.
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