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Hang in there, Gershun. I know it's hard....
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Gershun - stay strong sweetheart - it is so trying when the docs dont know what is happening - it is a testament to how little the professionals know about aging. They can make you live longer just not give you a quality of life togo with it.

Jessie - We are clearly cousins - that's my mum you're talking about albeit not a sibling shes nice to but my children. You're right - the constant 'wittering' is what gets to you fastest. Have you ever wanted to scream SHUT UP and then dug your nails into your palms and carried on as though your head wasn't about to explode?

Tired we might not be able to have a conversation but between us we could write an hilarious sit com about dementia dont ya think?
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Lois i love that word "dementic"! Every once in a great while i get to be with normal people. ive started having thr reslization that after 10 years of this i dont know think i know how to have a normal conversation. Conversations with my mother are discussing the man that doesnt exist in moms bedroom...where the second floor went in our one story house..and why the phone isnt working because its actuslly a baking potato..dementic! Im gonna need the funny farm after all this! ...whine whine
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Gershun, big hugs coming your way. It does sound like a stroke. I wonder if maybe it was in the area of the cerebellum or is just very small. Do you think there is a chance she'll be able to move the side again soon? I hope so. I know you don't know a lot right now. My prayers are with you and your mother tonight.
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Update on my Mom: The doctors are still in the dark. As I said the CT scan did not show signs of stroke but my Mom cannot move her right side so they are still thinking stroke. Then there was the suggestion that she had a heart attack which caused encephalitis but the EKG printout they did last night looked normal. plus would there not be brain swelling if that was the case.

The doctors asked about any other medicines that may of been given to my mom at the nursing home and the only thing was there was a flu outbreak there and they had been giving my Mom 3o mg. of Ofeltamivir propholactic
every other day to prevent flu. They don't think that would cause something like this.

When I went to see my Mom she was opening her eyes but not talking.
I am so upset. One doctor says one thing and then another says another thing. I sat with Mom all day today and was fine and then as soon as my brother and sister-in-law showed up I fell apart.

I just hope I can hold it together.
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Aw, Jess...I'm sorry. We're all having such rough times lately. I do hope things get better.
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BTW, my mother was being rather nasty this evening. I pointed out how sweet she was to my brothers. I told her that if she talked to them like she talked to me that they would never be back. She said, "Well, I don't see them that much."
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Oy, it has been a tough last few days. My mother twisted her ankle somehow. It is better, but she talks about it from the moment I see her until she goes to bed. My brother and wife came to visit and she talked about how it was better. Then they left and it went back to terrible. We had a doctor's appointment, but she canceled because my brother was in town. So now she's talking about how she needs to go to the doctor with it. She also needs to go to the doctor for the spot on her nose (maybe basal cell carcinoma). She needs to get some more pants. She wants us to go to church Wednesdays. She wants me to call the people about the house foundation. And her ankle hurts. She needs to go to the doctor.

ACK! I finally have to escape to my room or outside. People aren't programmed to tolerate this type of constant complaints and requests. I'm starting to understand those poor mice that get shocks that they can't get away from.
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Jeanette - I'm with you on that death certificate thing. At a certain age, to put "starvation" as the cause of death is ridiculous. When an elderly person prepares to pass from this world, they stop requiring food. It's just that simple. They are *not* starving to death in the true sense of the word. They simply don't require nutrition any longer, because it would cause their body more pain to process it than any possible benefit it could receive. So the body just decides it doesn't want food any longer and our loved one just isn't hungry. It's not starvation. I would say 99% of people that have witnessed the passing of an elderly loved one would attest to that fact. My own father stopped eating long before he passed - I think the last solid food he got down (swallowing was an issue after he was intubated) was at least a month before he actually passed.

I'm glad you got the Medi-Honey so quickly, Jeanette! Do start using it right away if you can. I hope it will help some.
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Oh Jeanette my heart is breaking for you and your mom. My dad stopped being able to swallow at the end. The swallowing specialist sat with him at meals and really tried, but he would drool it out or pocket it, just "forgot" how to swallow. My daughter stopped by to visit at mealtime once and was just hysterical with her crying later.. the poor staff the MC were trying to comfort her. He wanted the ice cream they were trying.. but it would not go down. She said he just looked so sad. This is a terrible disease
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Why cant they just write failure to thrive for that is exactly what happens when someone refuses nutrition or cannot manage to consume food. the alternative would be to wirte oesophageal malfunction or something similar but not starvation - that is such an emotive word and implies maltreatment - the very reverse of what usually is happening
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You know what I'm really bothered about? Well, I will tell you.

The post about her mother passing away from AD and how they put "starvation" as the cause of death. How could they be so f-ing cruel? I would be so devastated if that happened to us. Utterly devastated. As hard as I've tried to keep my mother's nutrition up... I am helpless now... she can't swallow and coughs when she tries.... I'm using a small syringe in attempts to give her at least 1 ensure a day...not only would it devastate me, it would also haunt me for the rest of my life... such a thoughtless, ignorant word to describe as the cause of death.

Susan, miraculously I received the Medi-Honey today. WOW... that's less that two days for delivery!! Impressive part was used standard delivery but somehow it came express.
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Hugs to ALL of you today...it has been a rough week for so many of us.
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Whine for today: Door to door salesmen.

Working from home is challenging enough because I have to stay in the same room with Mom to keep an eye on her, so the background noise is impossible to avoid - even noise-cancelling headphones don't work to block it. It used to be Mom's snoring and other body noises (yikes) - plus the dog occasionally barking, etc. Now it's the oxygen condenser with the hmmmmmm-pfffft-shhhh-ahhh-hmmm that it does 24/7. Today, I'm on the phone with a client, tv muted to avoid any other background noise, and a beat-up car pulls up out front, and out hops a guy with a generic-looking dustbuster in his hand. Despite the no-soliciting sign on the door and the dog going ballistic at him, he continues to stand at the door until I come and tell him to GO AWAY.

Stress level just hit about 100 today, I think. I'm sure my client sees me as such a professional now, with all that. Struggling to find a way to make this work - keep an eye on mom, keep noise to a minimum, work for my clients and talk on the phone with them without it sounding like I live in an asylum. Where'd that helmet go again?
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Jeanette, I'm so sorry. Prayers for your mom and you.
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Gershun, sorry to hear of your mom's troubles. Keep after the docs to give you answers if they aren't forthcoming.

Jeanette - such hard times. I'm so sorry....wish I could give you a hug, but for now (((hugs))).

Home care nurse came in today (with like 10 mins notice that she was coming, grrr), so that took about an hour that I couldn't spare out of my schedule today. A little more notice would have been good. Other than just checking mom over and totally agreeing with me that mom's doc is off his rocker to think she just fell asleep and fell out of her chair, there isn't much to report there. It's even written on the report that was sent to the nurse that she fell asleep and fell out of her chair - and that report came straight from the doc. I'm SO irritated at him. We are definitely seeking a new doc.

Nurse thinks Mom quite possibly *does* have congestive heart failure, so Jess, you're probably right on that. Just one more step down that long road...going to see what the chest xray shows on Monday and the MRI of her brain. From there, we'll make another decision, but I think we're switching docs.
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Jeanette huge hugs sweety xxxxxx
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I agree. It sucks. Mom is leaving me rapidly now and just can't stand it. Her breathing is labored and she can no longer swallow, when she tries she ends up coughing.... I am out of tears... I just want my mom back
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I know there's a real story somewhere in there...probably 3 or 4 going on at the same time and they get intermixed. Guess I'd better avoid turkey and ice cream for now? I think I'll have her UTI rechecked. Also, mom keeps calling ME mom and thinks I'm her mom, or her sister, or my daughter, or a stranger? I wish I could fight this d*mn dementia and save my mom - it sucks.
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Dee sounds like the UTI hasn't cleared ... some of them are persistent little beggars
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Gershun, I'll certainly keep your mother in my thoughts. Try not to get ahead of yourself worrying, it will all become clearer very soon.

Thank you, Dee - people's good wishes mean such a lot just now. By the way, my sweet neighbour who just visited a moment ago was telling me about her mother's Alzheimer's: her mother kept telling everybody there were pirates in the garden and they needed to do something, quick! - so of course everyone was patting her hand and saying there, there dear, of course there are, never mind, kind of thing. Well. Once somebody actually went to look, it turned out the boys from the next door house had been out playing in the garden, and guess what they'd rigged up for themselves? Yup, pretend ship complete with Jolly Roger…

Moral: always check that they're definitely imagining things!
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Countrymouse, so sorry for your loss. Gershun, hope your mom is ok. My mom just finished meds for a uti. She's telling some very strange stories (making ice cream out of bird feathers, someone put rocks in the cooked turkey and not to eat it because they're trying to make us sick, etc.). She had some stranger stories before but these don't make any sense whatsoever. I wonder if it's the dementia progressing, or if there's still an infection. Everyone take care. Prayers for all caregivers and their loved ones.
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Gershun, Hoping all goes well for you!
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Ditto glad and gershun and mum was infection plus low sodium levels - one to watch for
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Gershun similar happened to my mom a year and a half ago now. All medical pros thought it was a stroke. Turned out to be a UTI.
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Gershun, so sorry to hear this. You are both in my thoughts.
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My Mom had to be rushed to the hospital today. The doctors said in all probability it was a stroke although the CT scan did not show any kind of infarction, brain swelling etc. They say the next 24 hrs. are very important and they will rerun CT scan tomorrow. They said sometimes nothing will show on scan immediately.

Its so weird. I had just got through talking to her a half hour before I got the call from the nursing home. She sounded tired but otherwise the same.

My Mom was opening her eyes slightly but was not able to speak at the hospital. They are giving her fluids and oxygen.

Please say a prayer for her!!
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79/46 would concern me. It's too low to sustain life. If her pressure was that low, her pulse was probably high and weak. She was probably cold and pale. She apparently wasn't in shock, but the symptoms would probably be similar.
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High blood pressure for my mom is 120/80. She is always low, one of her ER visits it was 79/46, another time 96/70. What does anybody know about low bp other than it causes dizziness, but mom has always been dizzy!
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The symptoms sound so much like congestive heart failure, but I know other things can have similar symptoms. Do her lungs sound clear? The O2 going back up when she sits down sounds hopeful. It does sound like her lungs are working.
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