My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Susan sounds as though she has turned the corner from the head trauma. That was an extremly serious injury for anyone let alone a frail elderly woman. She probably also had antibiotics and they can kill the appetite in an instance. Don't celebrate too soon though see what the next couple of days brings. Let her have anything she wants and some protein drinks like Boost.

You're not going to believe this - Mom finally woke up after sleeping 3 hours (an unheard of length of time for her to sleep) and is ravenous. Just downed a cup of chicken soup and is now wanting more. I'm pushing the water and heating her up some lasagna (odd combination - soup and lasagna - but it's what she wants, and I'm just happy to see her eating again).

Susan do you have fortisips in the states? they are made by Nutricia? If so it is probably under prescription - I know you can buy it through Amazon BUT DONT get a GP 's input first. It is a fortified drink made specifically for people who cant or wont eat food and it comes in a milk shake type and a juice type. Dad could only tolerate the juice but it is so high in calories it kept his weight up. If she isnt drinking enough she will have to have a drip - would that make her drink more?

Huge hugs darling xxxx Keep the faith

Protein also helps heal sores. I give my Mom protein bars (in pieces as she won't eat a whole one). Eggs, fish, cheese, anyway you can get them to eat this it aids in healing these sores. I have heard that sometimes these sores even happen when a patient is on an operating table for surgery. They happen fast and no matter how diligent we are. We can only do our best, and God knows we all are.

Jeanette - I wanted to also say you are exactly right on the bedsores thing. It doesn't matter how diligent you are, some folks are just going to be more prone to sores.

My dad's skin on his legs and feet was SO bad - tissue thin and dead in some areas - that just the bedsheets rubbing on the tops of his feet could cause the skin to break down. It was a nightmare. He had sores on his heels, his backside, the backs of his legs, his back, his hips....and because of the existing issues with skin/tissue breakdown on his shins, there were only so many positions he could be put in to help get the pressure off his back, etc. The only thing that helped heal them (somewhat) was MediHoney.

Oh Jude..the creative things we have to come up with! I have to say, that pie sounds lovely!

Mom is also not really eating since her fall on Friday. I could put one plate everything she has eaten in the past 5 days. Mostly fruit - she had 2 cuties (small oranges/tangerines) and 1 banana this morning, but it's noon now and she hasn't eaten anything since, and has only sipped about 4 oz. water. Really worried about her intake at this point. At this rate, she's headed for a nursing home far faster than I thought, because she won't have the strength to get up and walk, or something inside her is going to fail due to lack of nutrition. Looking at possibly getting some protein shakes or doing smoothies very soon, just to get something in her. She simply doesn't have any appetite. I got her to eat an Arby's beef/cheddar sandwich after her doctor appt. yesterday - that's the most she's eaten in 5 days. She's just not hungry at all, and that worries me. Today, her hospital bed came, but I don't have it made up yet, so she's sleeping on her old bed, and has been asleep for a little over 2 hours now. Longer than she normally sleeps in a stretch, and she's sleeping almost all night now, without getting up.

Several marked changes since her accident:
-sleeping longer without getting up, and that was happening before the oxygen came, so it's not that.
-now requires oxygen to breathe without being short of breath and winded - didn't require it before she fell
-seems exhausted/fatigued - couldn't even dress herself this morning, she was so tired.
-no appetite at all - just not hungry. She will occasionally eat a piece of fruit, but not near enough to maintain her health.
-not drinking - I fill her cup at night and in the morning, it's still full. By the next night, if I don't refill it, it's perhaps half empty - so maybe 8oz water all day?!
-seems somewhat dazed and confused (again, with everything else going on, this may just be a result of the other problems, not a new symptom)

Frustrated and worried for her. She has an MRI appointment Monday to check for possible TIA and will go from there. Doc said if the lack of appetite continues long-term (more than a few more days) then we will address it, but he wants to give her time to recover from all the changes and trauma. I'm thinking by this weekend, we need to address it, because even though she's eating a little, it's not because she really wants to or is hungry.

Ok reason for whinge Mum has been off her food ...again...she is really difficult to feed given that she cannot manage to chew the meat except mince and she doesnt like mince; chicken - maybe - if I stew the very life out of it but she can manage pasta - she doesnt like pasta!, she can manage vegetarian meals - doesnt like vegetarian so that really only leaves eggs cheese and fish and yesterday cheese went out of the window too so that would be eggs and fish then. For lunch I did her egg mayonnaise with a slice of brown bread and butter - threw that away. For tea I had done a smoked salmon prawn and fresh salmon pie all in soft creamy dill sauce with a topping of creamy mash served with green beans carrots and peas - looked great - she wouldnt touch it smells like bacon she said - no mum thats smoked salmon well it still smells like bacon. Ok Mum mentally chucking this in the bin too what would you like? I want fish pie you never make that any more. Okaaaay I said thankful I HADNT thrown said meal in bin. I've got some in the freezer it will only take 5 mins to defrost and cook. 5 Minutes later brought the same meal which I scraped onto a different plate and she ate the lot. Give me strength

You reckon Susan? I said that a week ago and now she is back to her usual self I am at the point of destuffing her koala bear!

Jeanette, glad to hear from you and I hope things get better for your mom.

It's amazing, isn't it, how a sudden downturn changes our outlook. I feel terrible for complaining about Mom in the past, but it was so frustrating dealing with her stubbornness and refusal to accept the aging process before - "nope, I'm not wet, not changing!" (as she drips urine all over the floor) "nope, I can walk just fine!" (said as she stumbles around and leans on things) "nope, I don't need to go to the doctor!". Now I have no bitterness or anger or irritation against her - just love and sadness.

That doesn't mean I won't get irritated again sometime, but I'm sure it wil be less so now.

Hey All... !!

Susan and CM, SO so sorry to hear about both your mothers decline. It is the nature of the beast (age/dementia)...seems like when one small tiny thing happens it opens up that dreaded can of worms. Getting a hospital bed is an excellent idea!... I swear it has saved my back and also helps mom sleep better at night, which means I sleep better. WIN WIN !

Susan, I am so glad you are getting a 2nd opinion and this one from a Geriatric doctor. Doesn't seem normal or that dehydration would have one black out? Maybe after days of no liquids? I'd want to know exactly what caused it to happen and hopefully nip it in the bud before it leads to other things. Pre-maintenance keeps the other illnesses at bay :)

I haven't been posting much because I've been struggling with a few things... the first and most important one is that pressure sore mom developed. I take comfort in knowing that I provide excellent care of my mom. I prepare her all sorts of special nutritional foods, now even moreso since she's only eat soft foods. Everything goes into my Ninja Blender. Made her Cornish hens, green beans, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. The breasts of those hens came out superb using the blender it also makes some tasty green beans... I waste more food trying to keep her nutrition up and with a "full belly" feeling. Her poor tired body just cannot utilize the nutrition anymore, which brought on the bed sore, which also prevents it from healing... the wound care nurse told me it will never heal, that all we can do is "TRY" to keep it from worsening.... well, that's not happening either. During the day I check her every hour to make sure she stays dry. I change her right before I go to bed and first thing when I get up. Normally she doesn't pee during the night so I wait until she starts rustling about then do the change right after it happens. I reposition her every few hours so she's not in one spot too long and also I tuck several pillows propping her more on her side so she's not laying on her butt too long. Guess what I'm trying to get at is... you can do everything by the book and some people just get those pressure ulcers and it had nothing to do with my care... I've been feeling like such a failure concerning this, afraid of the stigmatism that comes with it. Her nurse it out 3 x's a week helping me with it. We've tried all those new fancy dressings that help break down the bad tissue but it just gets worse every single day. She ordered a special medicine ...she's brining it with her tomorrow. Guess we grind some pills and make a paste to put over the ulcer in hopes it eats the bacteria that's eating away at mom. Without a doubt, it is the most horrific looking/smelly thing I have ever dealt with. Really, I can't help but look at mom and wonder if this is what she wanted... how could anyone want it? Then again, she'll have 4 straight days of eating/drinking really good then poof... all gone. Yesterday morning she woke up and nothing... just stared at the ceiling all day, wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink. Basically the same thing today. The only time she says anything is when I have to move her about... she's is so stiff...and I am sure it hurts her. Just so gut wrenching....

I wish I had some good news or something funny/witty to say but it is just not here with me right now. I don't know how I'd survive this without my big pibble. She is so loving, funny and goofy it amazes me and swells my heart with joy. Her 20 lb head is laying in my lap as I type...and snoring like a freight train!!

Girls, try and take good care of yourselves... one day it won't be like today, hopefully it will be better :)

Cap, I sure hope you get to break Aunt Edna out a few times this summer. It will really do both of you some good and bring both y'all happiness and more special memories!!

A hospital bed sounds like a great idea, I hadn't thought of that for my mom, but it could help with her arthritis pain. She is overdue for a new mattress anyhow. And she would love the shopping trip aspect too!

Hey All... !!

Susan and CM, SO so sorry to hear about both your mothers decline. It is the nature of the beast (age/dementia)...seems like when one small tiny thing happens it opens up that dreaded can of worms. Getting a hospital bed is an excellent idea!... I swear it has saved my back and also helps mom sleep better at night, which means I sleep better. WIN WIN !

Something I heard today was that the man (really a boy) who was killed may have injured himself when he was kicking on the door of the police transport. We'll probably learn more. My first thought was stupid police, won't they ever learn. Now I'm dreading further trouble if the investigation shows the detainee injured himself. Rioting, burning, and looting have become a knee-jerk reaction of a few. It only takes a few to create chaos.

In some cases, the looters aren't even from the city they are trying to destroy. There are groups of people that descend upon a city using whatever reason they feel is necessary to take what they didn't earn. What was sad was seeing kids who just go out of school, still wearing their backpacks, who were among the looters.

Today I saw on the local news youths out and about with shovels trying to clean up the sidewalks and streets from the litter left over from the looting and the broken bottles.

With social media the police will probably make more arrest as those who were looting will be boosting on said media sites.

I just don't and never have, probably never will understand the destruction, setting on fire, and looting of one's own neighborhood businesses owned and run by their neighbors which behavior gets blamed on others as if others made them do it, but it only intensifies the poverty that is already there!!!!!!!

Captain I caught just a snippet on the World Service - a senior police officer was explaining that although the rioters were old enough to be held accountable they are still teenagers and so the police are giving it appropriate restraint. Phew, I thought. When we have riots they tend to fizzle out once it starts raining so unrest generally doesn't last very long.

JessieBelle, I think that's lovely. Active niceness is a great antidote. When we moved down here from London I found it eerily snowy white to start with: we have a Sikh couple running the post office, a few retired Gurkhas, and very occasional black visitors to our local Baptist church but that's your lot. Every time I see a non-white face in the town I have to stop myself giving the person a little wave.

Strange thing is that when there are race problems in the country, people tend to be nicer to each other in Birmingham. It's like both black and white people are saying "I am not mad at you" with extra smiles. It may not be that way all over the city, but I am glad it is that way in my area. And yes, I am among the smilers. A smile is a powerful thing.

the disturbing thing about the rioting in maryland is it might cause some people to paint all people of color with the same brush and that not only isnt fair , its not helping the minority people .
thats my quota of civility for the day so now i can say what im really thinkin ;
PANTS UP , DONT LOOT !!

well my whine has nothing to do with my caregiveing.. but I have to go back to work tomorrow in Baltimore.. with the riots and all. And I cannot tell what streets are closed! So wish me luck....

That dessert would probably solve any aftertaste problems...LOL I just don;t tell folks what they are eating.. and they never guess...

Trust me, Katie - Captain is right on this one. They *have* hangers. They won't use them. Unfortunately, these folks live in denial. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that these folks have been kicked out of more than one rental because of their "housekeeping" style. And that's putting it very, very politely. They know they smell bad. They don't care. I have animals myself - a cat and a dog - but I make sure they are bathed, the litterbox is cleaned and waste in the yard is kept picked up, and I vaccuum the house every day to keep the hair down to a minimum. It's just that not everyone lives that way, and sometimes it's very obvious. You'd think that when people around them start opening windows and lighting scented candles, they might just get the hint.

I sprayed liberally with OdoBan and tossed mom's bedding in the washer. It needed a wash anyway, just *really* needed it after that visit.

ya know , pam ,
a dam goat is pretty much first cousin to a deer .
ive fed visiting family both with very different results . once fed the inlaws a couple of giant homemade pizzas strewn with link style goat sausage ( they still hate me ) .
and one year at christmastime i prepared my extended family dozens of baked bell peppers stuffed with venison and rice in a white sauce base . those really went over well .
the dessert in both cases was a giant hit -- banana split pie . slightly soften a half gallon of vanilla ice cream , press it into a graham cracker crust , banana slices , top with all three traditional flavors of syrups , crushed peanuts , cool whip , then refreeze. better make 3 or 4 of them .

Captain.. we call venison "free range organic meat" here in MD.. makes it go down so much better if it sounds expensive... and no one has every left my house hungry....

katie ,
" some people cant smell their pets anymore " .
yea , and some just live in denial . i went thru 9 months of putrid h*ll with my renter before i lost my sh*t and tossed her dogs off the hill .
she seemed to only know a handful of sentences .
" i caint smayel "
" i luv mu dawgs "
" ive actually died five times "
and , " i pay my beels " ( as shed stir a near deadly jigger of everclear ino her be - er . yes , somehow in rural virginia " beer " is a two cyllable word ..

veronica , the squirrels arent really all that much of a nuisance but they make me wonder why im sitting in here frying chicken that costs money while easily as good of tasting meat sits on the balcony staring in at me .
im a b*tch about wasting money . im getting old , its getting harder to earn ..

jude , if a diaper on the koala would make your mom happy id consider doing it .
yea , it gets weird . my mom , being near genius , was pretty well composed until her death at home from dementia but make no mistake , she lost her marbles near the end of life .
one instance of her brilliance still tickles me . we inherited a bed bug problem either from hospice equiptment or from my sis and niece . i figure the latter but either way hospice was flipping out -- told us we couldnt eliminate the bugs without professional help . mom locked her jaw like shes prone to do and said " that sounds like a challenge to me " .
every thing i do to this day i try to weigh against what mom would think . she was extremely analytical .
we killed the bugs -- took bout 8 weeks but we done it .

Well Jude if you put pull ups on koala at least he won't pee on Mum's bedclothes or do you think he will just take them off?
Get yourself a low stool to sit by Mum's bed then you won't have to crawl over to the chair to pull yourself up.

Capt how about a bow and arrow or a catapult to wipe those pesky tree rats out?

OOOh Katie you know me far too well ... he has royally ticked me off today and I took him out to the kitchen to clean off the tomato sauce and then punched him loads and loads of times and it did make me feel much better. It was a sort of take that for being more liked than me and you dont do anything koala. I did say that tonight the koala was gonna get it!!!!

We did have a minor issue tonight when she wanted me to put pull ups on the koala. I flatly refused and she threw a real childs tantrum. It was really very very funny, I almost expected her to lay on the floor and kick her feet around.

Seem like I have my mum turning into a child - feels very weird right now but like everything else I am sure I will get used to it.

ugh, squirrels and we have it even worse with chipmunks. They have gotten into the garage and in the walls in past years and died and the smell is awful until you can locate them and get them out or they finally totally decay. Someone in the neighborhood may be poisoning them and then they crawl into places to die. The trouble is their heads explode from the poison and it is not a pretty sight. So far this has not happened yet this year.
Jude, The koala sounds cute but he could also be in for a punch in the nose as it sounds like he has taken over the household. If you could teach him to do household chores it would be great.....
Susan, perhaps for a holiday gift this relative could be given a set of hangers to get the clothes off the floor and away from the cats...I think some people just don't smell their pets anymore...I have known several people who don't.

ive purchased something that all of you country dwellers oughtta appreciate . on ebay for 12 bucks you can get a fake cctv security camera . it has a solar powered blinking red led light in the lens to make it more realistic . for seven bucks i bought a surprisingly high quality " warning , these premises protected by cctv " sign .
this aint a new concept to me . at our other home 20 some years ago i had a fake security camera made out of a painted block of wood , also with a blinking red light in the lens . in 35 years of rural living ive never been burgled except of course the one time when the house was empty for so long .
ive always been of the impression that crackheads arent very sharp in the head .
one time when my family went on vacation to the smokies i left our car hood up with a lit trouble light hanging under the hood , the front door wide open and the stereo turned on . anybody should know that a guy immersed in automobile problems aint gonna be in a great mood when he gets home with his car parts .

i like the security sign and the fake camera . of course ill write it off on my taxes -- gotta protect the business tools .. actually my rainwater system is gonna run bout 600 bucks start to finish and that'll be written off too . i haveta haul water to a lot of new construction jobs .. if you have a good history with the irs they never bicker fine points with you ..