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BTW, I never tell my mother that. It would be inviting the Wrath of Khan down on my head. I know better than to do that! :)
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Love it, Susan. I want electric blue with stars on my helmet. Maybe a pair of those Mercury wings, too. That would be cool.

Tea4Me, I know just what you're talking about. My mother is still very controlling. Sometimes I want to say, "Mom, you don't have sense to come out of the rain now. Let me do it my way." Of course, wouldn't you know, sometimes what she suggests is actually better, so I have to munch humble pie.
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Boy that's a tough one, Tea4me. I can completely understand why you feel that way - you've spent years under the thumb of someone who was very controlling and felt he had to be right about everything. And now that he's *not* right about everything, it's only natural to feel like you should have the right to point it out. Unfortunately, it can't work that way, because all it would do is confuse/anger him - something you know as well as I. I'm so sorry you're going through this, though...every day must be a challenge.

I found a new saying for us here in the "whine" thread. "If I manage to survive the rest of the week, I would like my straight jacket in hot pink and my helmet to have sparkles on it, please!"

LOL
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My biggest whine moment happens everyday. Before the onset of his dementia my husband was a highly intelligent, brilliant man and always felt he had the "right" answer or way to do things. He often corrected me and was highly critical of many things I did. When I complained about the criticism he would say he was "trying to make me a better person." Now that he has dementia he understandably gets a lot of things wrong. It takes every bit of my self control to hold back and not correct his inaccurate statements/stories. My urge to "payback" is incredible. I can be very immature and self centered at times. In our 44 years of marriage he never held back when it came to correcting or criticizing me. Why do I have to be the mature person?
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Just keep in mind that it's not Mom talking, Chris - it's the Alz./dementia. They say the weirdest things when that gets cranked up.

My FIL told me I was a prostitute, that I married my then-husband for money (I told him that was like saying I married him for his big you-know-what), that I was a witch and had put a spell on his wife so she wouldn't listen to him, and that he wanted to put a bullet in my head instead of a brain. 5 minutes later, I would be the nicest, sweetest person he'd ever met, I was the best thing that ever happened to his son, and he loved me.

Just have to roll with the punches sometimes and keep in mind where the talk is coming from.
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So much has happened in the short time I've been a member on this site. Things used to be quite funny re: Mom's Alzheimer's. Now, not so much. Mom's now in a nursing home (moved from retirement home about a month ago). My whine moment? She told me two visits ago, "You're sh*t to me!" I do NOT feel guilty. I just feel hurt.
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ive got to get edna out for some truck rides . one of the best days shes had in years was spent with her sitting in my garage last summer while i changed out a couple of front fenders . she loves that little truck and its just perverse that NH is permitting pia to ground us . pia does not have that kind of authority , its nh letting her get by with it .
edna is still pretty healthy aside from the dementia so time is still on our side -- along with ALL of the nh staff . when the temps hit 80 im going to take cuz terry trike riding all day ( for all i care ) and im not above bribing him with cash . he could sway pia and it'd still be cheaper and easier than legally battling for MPOA .
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Captain, thanks for the chuckle when you said "used up her quota of dummassedness for the year in only the first quarter." :)
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ive bought ednas narc - y roommate with chilidogs and pia's sidekick ( cuz terry ) wants to go trike riding this summer . its getting pretty sparse in pia ' s corner . lol
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had a great time with edna after work today . we had pie and root beer then went outside . of course id brought my ( d*ck ) hair scissors to trim her bangs as promised . not long afterwards PIA pulled in and promptly noticed the haircut . i told her " yup , trimmed her bangs again " . pia cant hardly put up a fuss anymore . shes showed her ass too many times already and used up her quota of dummassedness for the year in only the first quarter .
the nurse with the dirty knees ( head nurse ) wanted to know if she could take a pic of my truck -- shes having a hard time describing it to hubby . its just unusual because a tool box is built out over the top of the cab and a cool homemade air foil sits in front of the box .
it tells me i have the staff talking . they like me , my wild machines and my dedication to my aunt . edna and i are going truck riding this summer at whatever cost . theyve been warned , im wearing pia down ..
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shes wanting to learn to use a chainsaw . heres the problem ;
during the winter we were hauling a load of wood across a field with a big pond down the hill from us . the front tires of the truck slid in the snow just a couple of feet down the hill and that idiot flung the door wide open to bail out . not only is this hell on door hinges but she would have been bailing on the downhill side of a sliding truck . purely a dangerous overreaction . all women arent this dam sporatic -- this one is just not good around machinery .
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We better hush. Capn will come get onto us and tell us about his co-worker. :)
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Jessie, I think the female Praying Mantis had the right idea :)
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Well, you know, ff, that learning too much can interfere with ovarian function. So can running and jumping and just about anything fun. Up until recent centuries, reading was thought to interfere with ovarian function. In some countries that don't educate women, this still could be the case.

It amazes me that throughout time women have allowed men to exist.
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Went down to my parents house to get their grocery list... while there Dad said he is going to write letter to his primary doctor and tell her why he can't come to see her because he has no one to drive him there..... ECK!!!!..... thanks for the guilt trip, Dad.... I had to put boundaries on my parents and all the places they wanted me to drive, it's been too stressful at my age [68] to take them places, as I now get major panic attacks while driving :(

Dad already has a new primary doctor, a fine young man, who is literally just around the corner from their house. Take us 2 minutes to get there [but takes 20 minutes to get my parents into the car to take them there :P]. Told Dad to forget about his previous doctor, he didn't like her anyway.... I thought she was great, but both my parents think women shouldn't be doctors.... [head slapping moment].
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small cabin on lake… wi-fi… far away… wi-fi…

Er..? You'll be lucky!

It's like I want to live in splendid isolation nowhere near any roads worth the name - and still be able to hail a cab and go to Starbucks. Tsk! You can't win!

Susan, I think fantasies of what we will say when we get our big chance to tell our dear families to fold it and shove it are what keep us going, aren't they???
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Thanks Jessie. :-)

Katie, I am SO with you there. Every now and then, I find myself looking through the real estate listings on Craiglist for far away places. Just a small cabin on the lake with wifi. That's all I want. I don't want neighbors, relatives or anything else at this point. I just want to be left alone. I'd be happy to face-time them on Skype or talk on the phone, but I want a home to myself with no one else to take care of. I've been providing caregiving in one form or another since I was 17 - children, spouse's relatives, spouse's parents, my own parents.....I'm done. I'm only 44 and I'm done. That just seems kind of sad to me.

Once mom is gone, no one in my family had better even think of asking me to care for someone else again. I have always done what needed to be done because I felt obligated to do so. No more.
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...and since I was late getting up, late getting a shower, had to change all her bedding and haven't gotten her bed remade yet, she keeps telling me every 5 minutes, "I want to lay down".....and I remind her I have to get the bed made, but am in the middle of work that has a deadline and am already behind, give me a few more minutes. "Oh ok. No rush." 5 minutes later...."I want to lay down"....(sigh)
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Susan, I don't think many have it as bad as you do. What you and Jeanette have gone through has been about the worst I've seen. It's a shame we don't have caregiver medals for service that goes beyond all expectations. To me it shows you have a big heart.

Katie, I think caregivers suffer from Chronic Stress Disorder. I don't think there is an official disorder called that, but I think there ought to be. CSD -- we know what it is, for sure. I haven't met anyone here that has been at this longer than a year that doesn't have some symptoms of it.
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I think if that freedom ever did come I would throw stuff in a suitcase and bolt out of fear of getting trapped again. I see myself flying from city to city and staying in hotels just not to be found! I am seriously thinking of moving out of this place if my Mom ever passes,because I see it as a prison despite how much I liked my home when we bought it. Perhaps this feeling would go away, but that is how I feel now.Is this some sort of PTS??? but it is not "post" but rather current....
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Thanks, Jessie - not sure how I stay sane some days, and today is one of those. Got a stress headache as soon as I got up this morning, and Mom expressed concern that I have had so many headaches lately. Not like I can tell her WHY I have headaches. LOL

Today I seriously thought about ordering a coffee mug I saw online - it has a drawing of a stick figure thrusting his hips towards the word "it". (Think about it, you'll get it...) That kind of sums up my attitude this morning.

Mom also takes a diuretic for swelling in her legs - every day. So couple that with weakened pelvic muscles, obesity, resistance to going to the bathroom when she should, so she holds it too long....and you've got a recipe for disaster. On good days, she goes through about 10 pads and 4 pairs of underwear. On bad days, you can double both numbers, at least. I wash her underwear so frequently that I had to order a whole new batch of 10 pairs because the ones I bought 6 months ago are getting thin and developing holes. I think I see the same pair of undies come through the wash at least 2x per day - I guess we're keeping Fruit of the Loom in business.

I know it's the dementia - but the fact that she is not completely into dementia yet, and is still pretty much all there, except for being forgetful, is what makes it hard. She resists going to the bathroom because she doesn't want me to tell her what to do. I get it - she's the mom, I'm the child - but the struggle to keep her clean and dry is maddening some days.

Others have it far worse here, so I keep telling myself that - I'm not the only one dealing with this and others are dealing with worse.
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There are times (alot lately) when a walk in nature, bubble bath, glass of wine, day off or some other short term distraction, just WILL NOT DO THE TRICK. I need total freedom---there I said it.
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Susan, how do you stay sane? I don't have any advice, but just wanted to send you a note of sympathy. My mother has a lot of accidents because she walks so slow. She went to the incontinence clinic the other day and they gave her a list of suggestions on things to do. She said she wasn't going to do those silly things. I do wish she would wear protective undergarments, but she won't. She said they are too uncomfortable. My mother won't even wear underpants -- she never has, except when she dresses to go out. She wears pajamas all the time and they serve as her Depends.

Mom has to take Lasix sometimes for swelling in her legs. Lasix, weak pelvic muscles, and slow walking together is a recipe for a lot of accidents. It's not too bad, though. I've told her several times that I'll take care of her as long as she is able to do most things for herself. So far, so good, but I don't know how much longer it will be.

I wish my mother's legs were as strong as her arms. She is in her bedroom moving furniture again today. I don't know why she does that, since I know she'll move it back in a few days. It's hard to understand what goes on in the minds of our parents at times.
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It aint a spelling contest - my spelling is great my typing not so much BUT I have it on good authority that you actually dont have to spell accurately for people to be able to read it so here goes

fi yuo cna raed tihs it is lvinig porof taht sellpnig inst as ipmrotant as we tinhk!!!!
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Hey Jeanette...check in with us if you can! Hoping all is well.

Mom is having another off day. They're getting closer together, and I'm not handling it so well today.

I get up to find she's been in the kitchen, and the bread is open on the counter and hanging over the side, with slices on the floor. Made herself a cheese sandwich...or two...she says. I'm just worn out with the constant need to make sure she eats properly, and on the one morning that I sleep in a little bit, she raids the kitchen - which makes me feel guilty for not being up.

Then she lays down for a bit, refusing to go to the bathroom because "I don't have to go", she says. Immediately, the cricket routine starts - rubbing her legs together because - of course - she has to go to the bathroom. She gets up and I say, "You have to go to the bathroom, don't you?" - her reply - "NO. I don't. I just wanted to get up." So then she gets up and goes to the bathroom, leaving a large wet spot on the bed, which she covers up with the bedspread so I don't see it, then leaves a puddle on the floor and dribbles all the way to the bathroom. I tell her that for not having to go, she's awfully wet. All she says is "yup". Then she sits in the bathroom for 20 minutes daydreaming while I'm waiting to get my shower, which runs me into more work on my schedule, eliminating the small window of time I had to get a shower. GRRRRR. When I ask if she's coming out soon, she snaps back, "What's the rush??" What's the rush? We have ONE bathroom in this house for 2 people - and occasionally the other of us needs to get in there while someone is sitting there staring into space!

Change the bed, change the chair pad, make sure she changes her incontinence pad and underwear, wipe up the floor.....and the day starts again.
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Stewart, I mean, do excuse me.
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Improves with age, doesn't he, Jude? I've loved Rod Steward ever since he was so sweet to Kenny Everett and such a good sport. Maggie May was on the Beeb a week or so back if you want to see him looking youthful, part of a retrospective of hits - look under 'Music' on iPlayer and you should find it.
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In case that link didnt work for you its a sonmg called for the first time by rod stewart
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To try and make things better (mind you if you cry have I made it better) I am dedicating this to my mum not for who she was but for the person she is now
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Captain. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I was feeling very lousy this morning until I read your post. My dentist too has said that someday I will be glad I did all this for my Mom, tho at the moment it seems like a horrible time in life and no matter what you do there is always more to do and more problems compound. The coming of Spring and the changes have me feeling like I am in a rut. We are all super and I think for all we do we will come out stronger in the end and can be proud of ourselves for all we do.
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