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you guys ( gals ) have really got some difficulties . my CG experiences have been mostly mental support as opposed to physical challenges . i wish the very best for all of you for your years of sacrifice . i think your sibs disassociate because they werent chosen / delegated for caregiving and theyre jealous . youll have great peace of mind some day and have dam well earned it .
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Sounds like we're all getting rattled this week. ff, only three words for you, girlfriend -- Just say no! Your body's telling you that you need some time for yourself. You can get their food delivered and everything else will have to wait.

Mallory, our parents can be trying. My mother is a controlling person. One reason I wouldn't take money from her even if she offered is I would have no power at all. If she was paying me, she would own me in her mind. Not being paid actually gives a little control back to me. I wondered why your mother has so many doctor appointments. Mine used to, but I put my foot down about going to so many.

dee, I was trying to imagine what to say to someone who thinks someone is chasing her with guns. I guess all we can do is assure them they are gone. I hope the water bottle wasn't glass. We never know what is going to happen next.
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Almost ready to fall asleep and I hear a crash. Then mom starts banging on her nightstand. She threw her full open water bottle across the room. Asked her why, she said she was trying to let someone know she was there because people are chasing her around with guns.
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Evwry single day Dr, nurses, cleaning tge bathroom ( my dad has no colon he misses it 20 times a day)
Wiping butt every hour and cleaning
I have 2 brothers who feel too uncomfortable to assist one bro is a nurse LOL
When they visit I want to slap them
I am so very tierd
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I did yet another doctor appt with my mom today. 3rd one this week. Also finished her taxes in time, but not mine! I am really just so tired of spending all my "quality time" on my mother's needs. What about me? I would love to have a week off.from CG'ing, and just do my own thing. Of course I have 4 siblings who get to do their own thing Every Single Day. Sigh.
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Yesterday I stayed home from work because I was feeling weird, kinda faint... went to Urgent Care... doctor couldn't figure out what was going on... came home and rest as it was like a dog chasing his tail this week with trying to deal with my Dad and his income taxes, Dad was dragging his feet big time on getting the paperwork done for the CPA...

Running back and forth to the CPA... Dad forgetting this 1099 and that 1099 finally I decided to scan instead of hand deliver to the accountant... then back to the CPA to pick up the finished 1040... then going over to my parents house to get my parents [who are in their mid-90's] to sign the paper work, write out all the checks, and get the envelopes to the post office as it was already April 15... HELLO, last minute, folks.... and trying to keep Dad from previewing the whole packet of paperwork before siging knowing he would lose the paperwork in the house. Very stressful week as my OCD kicks in when it comes to this stuff.

Yesterday evening told my parents I was out sick... they kept calling to see how I was... they tend to become helicopter parents... oh what if something happens to me?.... is there anything they can do to help [like what?]... etc.

Well, I went to work today, was tired afterwards.... called my parents at my usual 8pm time and now Dad has a long list of things he needs at various stores. Guess the blades on that helicopter broke :P
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Sharon consider a Tens unit. Mine is my Hidow. I am on my feet cement floor 6 hours so I know the stiff back. I invest in good shoes and do not wear the same 2 days in a row. Try to have somewhere that you can have one foot higher than the other. That should help.
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It's spring and I'm dying to work in the yard but can't leave Mom alone in the house and can't get her out either. Cooking the things she will eat has added 15 lbs. to my weight, it's just easier to cook 'her way'. When I get busy with housework she nags me to sit down and rest. I guess she wants me to sit on the couch all day as she does.
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Has anyone talked to Jeanette? I'm concerned.
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Sharon try sleeping in a recliner if you have one. That help me enormousely. Have you talked to your boss or the union about getting those anti fatigue mats for the floor where you stand most. help you and othe employees too.
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Jessiebelle~I think my sciatica issue is partly from too soft a mattress as I am a back sleeper, and hubs needs a soft mattress for his back issues. My job requires me to stand for 8 hours on cement floors which impacts the lower back muscles making them very tight. I stretch but apparently it is not enough and will include some back exercises to strengthen the lower back muscles. I think it is time for separate beds for me and hubs so I can have a firm mattress, LOL!!

I will try the knubby balls for my foot, thanks!!
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Hang in there, Katie....we're all right there with you.

I don't keep any special clothing anymore, because I don't go anywhere special, unless I'm going to visit my son. The grocery store is like an exotic vacation. I keep a set of decent black clothing because funerals have become so frequent in our family over the past few years. That's just sad, but it's part of life.

The new Facebook feature "on this day", which gives you a quick recap of posts you made over the past 5-10 years is quickly becoming my *least* favorite feature. All I see are posts of happier times, when I was still close with my kids and all of them were still speaking to me, when I could travel with them and do things with them, when my posts in the morning were happy, chirpy and joyful - what a marked difference to today. Now I rarely post anything at all, and if I do, it's not usually chirpy or cheerful. I don't post a bunch of depressing stuff - I just don't post much of anything. Why post what's going on in my life? Got up today. Cleaned up pee off the floor in the living room and bathroom. Changed Mom's bedding. Changed Mom's chair pad. Started laundry. Got Mom to the bathroom. Reminded her to change underwear and incontinence pad. Started working. Stopped to get Mom to bathroom again. Reminded her to change underwear and incontinence pad. Got Mom's breakfast. Tried to start working again. Stopped to get Mom to bathroom again. Cleaned up pee on the floor again. Changed chair pad again. Who wants to read all that all the time? (I know, we read it here all the time. But at least here, people understand!)
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Hugs, Katie. Limbo is my least favorite place.
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I am feeling really depressed the last few days. Nothing ever gets better is seems. I think about trips I used to take and things I used to do and it feels like it was not me I am thinking about. Who was that happy person??? Just went through my closet and got rid of stuff...I mean why I am keeping clothes "in case" I go on a cruise or "in case" I go to Las Vegas, etc?? No body warned me life would end 7 years ago at 50...yet go on in some half butted limbo with each day just as worrisome as the next. I am so tired of feeling bad all the time!!
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...and now mom has the tv up so loud that the commercials are driving me mad. Headphones on. Music turned up. Block it out. Ahhhh.....
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Thanks, Jude! I've thought about putting a rug runner in front of her bed - the only thing stopping me is that she trips easily, so I'm concerned that a clear floor protector would be worse in that regard, because she wouldn't see it like she would a rug. I keep a steady supply of bathroom rugs (I'm up to 5 now), because she leaks when she uses the toilet too, so there's always urine running down the front of the toilet onto the floor, or a puddle in front of the toilet where she started leaking before she sat down - we go through rugs almost as fast as underwear around here. I've decided I'm finally going to call the local nursing home today, or stop by there when I'm out, and explain Mom's situation to one of the charge nurses and see if they have any suggestions as to how to control this better. There are no underwear-style incontinence products that fit her properly due to her body shape (large backside and obese, so they aren't tall enough to cover her backside fully), so I need a new solution, because the Poise pads aren't cutting it.
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Susan bless your heart - I know this may seem like a weird thing to say of a new hardwood floor but when it is dry why dont you buy a carpet protector and put it by her bed. I have one I use under Mums commode. Dont get the sticky one for gods sake but a heavy duty one - they lay flat they dont wrinkle up easily and you can still see the hard wood through them.
Now for cleaning the floor:
this iste would seem best for you: bedwettingstore
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Oh holy crap, JudeAH53!! What a customer service nightmare!!

Mallory, I'm sorry you're dealing with that money issue with your mom. If she has dementia, she simply doesn't see things the way we do.

Today is going to be one of "those" days - I can see it already. Mom leaks urine on the floor and leaves it there - and doesn't see that as a problem. I got up this morning to find a puddle of urine on the hardwood floor in front of her bed. The newly-refinished hardwood floor, might I add. With footprints dragged through it and all over the floor. When I mentioned (calmly - go me!) that there was a puddle there, she looked kind of blank and then said, "Oh - yeah, I had an accident." (ya think?) I'm starting to think one of these days I'm just going to find a hole in the floor where her urine has eaten through it. She's reached the point where she doesn't even try to clean up after herself, because her memory is getting so bad that she just forgets she even did something that needs cleaning up. Some days are worse than others.

Daughter went back to her husband yesterday morning. What a fiasco that was. I told her I will always be here for her if she needs me, as I always have been, but if she needs to come here again because she's leaving him, it needs to be because she's leaving him permanently - not because she can't make up her mind - because this side of the family went through a lot of hassle to get everything ready for her over here, only to have her turn right around and go back to him a few days after she got here. I told her if she comes back here again, she has to make it a permanent move, get a job, learn to drive and get a car - and then be out on her own within about 8 months. I suspect that, given those conditions, she won't be back, because she is happier sponging off someone else. (And that's why I made the conditions known.) I guess I should be happy the financial hit was only a few hundred dollars this time.

IT'S SPRING! Finally. Our grass is finally greening up, and our yard is a mess. Neighbor offered to de-thatch and roll the yard for me - but I haven't had time to get out there and even pick up the sticks and branches that fell over the course of the winter (not to mention the shingles that came off the roof in the wind). I'm hoping maybe this weekend I can get to it. Then I need to call our lawn guy and see what his plans are for this year. I'm sure he'll love the fact that he has to mow around a big ol' camper sitting in the yard now (thanks a lot, daughter dear).

Time to get rolling and kick my butt into gear for the day. Mom's doing her usual "wake me when it's time to eat" already this morning. Looks like a lovely day ahead. :-/
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Whine whine whine - I have had to make 7 phone calls to get to the right case worker - No wonder people are ticked off by the UK system - All I want to scream is STOP CHANGINBG YOUR %^&*$ NUMBERS. But I didnt I just asked for what I needed - how wimpish was that. At the end of the call I was asked to complete a numerical survey. How satisfied was I with the serivce - that would be zero. How knowledgable were the people you spoke to - there wasnt an option for a minus number so zero. How likely would I be to recommend the service to a friend or relative - there wasnt a button for you're having a laugh aren't you? By now I was no longer wimpish so I rang back - glutton for punishment that I am - and asked to speak to a manager - shes off sick - deputy manager - she's off sick too. OK the person in charge then (because now I AM GOING TO TALK TO SOMEONE Grrrrrr) Oh that's me. Mount St Helen's just erupted in my head. I would like to formalise a complaint - Oh she said you have to ring another number for that. I am now incensed beyond belief. I took the number and rang it. A voice at the other end said this number has been disconnected please ring xxxxxxxx. Needless to say I am now sipping a nice cup of tea before I really blow my stack. Whinge over xxxxxxx I am coming to the conclusion that its not the caring thats problematic its the total lack of coordination of support that sits alongside it and am I stressy about it YES I %$$% well am. Oh I feel much better now
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Well statedJessieBell. I'm experiencing the same with my 90 yr old father. He remembers nothing of his abandoning us Kids. He has rewritten our history. In his reality, he was the hero.

He now lives with my husband and I. He has alzheimers. Difficult and frustrating. To renew ourselves, we have 2 chairs in our bedroom on 2nd floor. We shut the door with a bit of vino hold hands and block it all out for a few minutes. Then he calls up to us about breakfast at midnight saying good morning. Gotta laugh to beat back the tears.
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You cunning vixen, JessieBelle - what a nimble response to Mallory's mother! Nice one.
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mallory, we caregiving kids just don't get any respect. I suspect that it is your mother who wanted that hamburger and she wanted you to drive there. She would pay for your burger, instead of paying you for your time. Smart lady. Three birds killed with one McDonald's burger. I mean, she could have at least suggested Red Lobster or something!

My mother also has selective and altered memories of our childhood. It is important to her to always be the one in the good light, so anything that wasn't good was someone else's fault. I know what you mean about being the one left out. Money seemed to always disappear before I got any of it. One year I even wore my brother's shirts to school because I had no nice-enough clothes of my own. My brothers got cars. I wasn't even taught to drive. My brothers had their college paid for. I got grants and worked my way through. But you know something? I am mighty proud of it. Even now I don't get anything for staying here. I see all the ugly and my brothers get the good side.

I see all this ugly and lopsided treatment that I know is wrong. Much of it is because of how my mother views women other than herself. All we can do is shrug it off, knowing we most likely aren't going to change them.

I guess what you could have said to your mother is "Mom, I have a better idea. You pay me and I'll buy you a burger this time. I'll let you get the next one."
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Thanks, Susan! I will give it a try. I know I feel better when I eat better.
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Dee, that's wonderful news!

Can I make a small suggestion? Do you eat a lot of wheat products? Bread and such? If so, maybe try cutting WAY back on those for a week or so, and see how you feel. I've found that since I hit about 40, I just can't tolerate wheat anymore. (That doesn't mean I don't eat it now and then, but I pay the price when I do!) Eating wheat or anything containing MSG will cause my hands and feet to swell, my joints to ache and a general overall "ick" feeling. Just don't feel well at all. If I avoid wheat as much as possible, those symptoms don't show up.
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Whew. Blood tests all normal. Now to get myself back in shape.
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Mallory, I hear ya. Has your mother been diagnosed with dementia? She might not be there yet, but I think in her mind, she's "explaining" to herself the reasons for things she can't remember. If dementia is part of the issue, I think there's a huge element of "blaming" that goes along with the explanations they make up. It's very frustrating, and sad as well, because whatever relationship you have with the person can become fractured or ruined completely. And if they happen to be "remembering" something that's particularly difficult or painful for you, it can be extremely triggering, as therapists say. My mother's reminisced about several things that I recall being extremely upsetting, even traumatic, and it's an awful thing to experience. And since she repeats these stories frequently (good LORD!!!), it's simply very painful and draining to deal with her. I always need a few days at least to rest, recover--just get it out of my system.
Will this spell with your mother eventually die down a bit?
Also, do you think maybe a therapist would help? It helped me greatly.
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I am so mad at my mom. Today I spent 3-1/2 hours with another doctor appointment. She has had 1 or 2 appts per week for about past month (swollen foot/ankle). a week into this journey she told me, "you are spending so much time--I should pay you for all the time you spend taking me" because she has another, paid CG. This other CG cannot accommodate last-minute stuff. So it has all fallen on me, and I had to file extension on my own taxes, reduce my work hours, lost a potential client, etc. And I have a toothache I am ignoring, because by the time I get done with mom, there is no time left for me.
So my mom agreed to pay me $15/hour (about half of what the other CG is paid)(large metro area here, usual rate is $29 hr for 3-hour min). I gave her one bill for 18.5 hours of care, and she paid it.
Then today, after 3.5 hours of doctor stuff, she says, "how about we go to McDonald's, and I'll buy you a hamburger, instead of paying you?".
I about flipped out right there. How does a $5 happy meal cover the same as $15 x 3.5 hours???????
Earlier in our conversations in waiting room, she was mis-remembering things about our family, like who got college paid for, and who didn't. Out of 5 kids, 2 got college, then came the lower 3 kids-- #3's college was paid, #4's college paid 2 years but he dropped out, and me #5, got the raw end of the deal, because when #3 graduated (same yr as #4 dropped out), the college said I didn't need any financial aid. So I didn't get my college paid by parents, as all the others did, I had to work my way thru college. It changed the course of my Life!
So fast forward to today, mom is trying to tell me, that they woulnd' t pay my college because I wanted too much spending money......really weird. She cannot remember the whole deal with the college financial aid office telling them, I was not eligible. I told her, I had to pay all my own college, and she said no, it was that I wanted too much spending money (?). This sounds like crazy talk! I didn't have hardly any money, because the only money I had, was all going to tuition, dorm room, books, etc. And I worked full time summer jobs to make about $900 towards my tuition.
Anyhow. It just really makes me MAD that she would think I would accept a hamburger, instead of what she said she would do, pay me half the rate of her other CG.
I am so upset, I am thinking, I do not want to do anything for her--I am so sick & tired of being woken up with her phone calls, being her personal Geriatric "Manager", I am the one who has to oversee everything!!! She cannot even make a phone call (except to me), I deliver all her food, she can't get out of the car by herself, and I don't think she is bathing anymore except for a sponge bath. Her other caregiver washes her hair for her.
I dont' know if I want to go the Asst Living route, because I would still be on the hook for all the "Management".....keeping track of her doctor appointments, driving her there (she needs assistance getting in & out, buckle seat belt, she cannot ride one of those large vans!!).
I feel insulted that after all I have done, for years & years, and she offered to pay half of what the going rate is, and now she want to buy me a HAMBURGER?
And if I did manage to move her to AL, well then she would be saying that she couldn't afford to pay anyone to take her to the doctor!!!!!
ARGH......I am ready to run away!
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Susan~Your decision to not visit is wise. From what you just posted, that would include door handles/knobs and just about everything that a person/nurse with gloves on touches no matter how careful they try to be. I hope your relative recovers quickly with no ill effects from the meds and duration of the infection.
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Did a little digging into the C-Diff issue - this is from the Mayo Clinic website, if anyone is interested or needs to use this info in the future:

C. difficile bacteria are found throughout the environment — in soil, air, water, human and animal feces, and food products, such as processed meats.
(If I could highlight "AIR", I would! I always thought this was probably airborne.)

In hospitals and nursing homes, C. difficile spreads mainly on hands from person to person, but also on cart handles, bedrails, bedside tables, toilets, sinks, stethoscopes, thermometers — even telephones and remote controls.

The bacteria produce spores that can persist in a room for weeks or months. If you touch a surface contaminated with C. difficile, you may then unknowingly swallow the bacteria.

Older age is also a risk factor for C. difficile infection. In one study, the risk of becoming infected with C. difficile was 10 times greater for people age 65 and older compared with younger people.

Very glad I called off our visit.
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And Jessie - I have to say, that statement about the certain ways required to be intimate had me humming and covering my ears, saying, "I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening, lalalalalalalala!" LOL

I think you're probably better off without him, sounds like. :-)
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