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Thanks all - relative's daughter seems cool with us not coming, just wish she was more aware of how contagious this is. She has been told she has to come into direct contact with feces or contaminated hands, etc to get it. Not so. If it were so, C-Diff wouldn't spread like wildfire when it hits nursing homes. Contamination happens too quickly to stop it, and it doesn't take direct contact with a pile of poo to get it! We still know far too little about this particular antibiotic-resistant bug to know every single way it's transmitted.

We're staying home and will visit at another time, when she's cleared of C-Diff.
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Jessie, " certain ways he required to be intimate" think you really should tell us just what this position was so none of us have the chance of hurting ourselves!!! LOL

Susan, totally stay home a few more weeks, knowing people would understand your position and not be offended by it.
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JessieBelle, your ex probably made your body get all "uptight", and now that he's your ex, you've relaxed a bit!
I get what are probably mild flare ups of sciatica, and have found that sitting "Indian style" and reaching my arms forward as far as a I can really helps stretch those glutes :)
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Susan, I agree with the others; if you can postpone the visit, you should.
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Susan, I wouldn't blame you if you postponed this visit...As though you don't have enough going on you don't need to worry about that too! Maybe you could go at some later time.
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Whine! Let it out , ave a private tantrum, cry, rage, do situps, take a deep breath. What ever helps maintain a modicum of sanity in this challenging role. But then pray for Grace! We will all be elderly, if lucky, someday.
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Better safe than sorry would be my advice.
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Question folks:

We had planned to visit a relative in a nursing home about 4 hours away this weekend, but I just found out she has C-Diff - she's had it for about 3 months now. Having dealt with that nasty bug with my Dad, I know how hard it is to get rid of, and how dangerous it is for the elderly. This relative's daughter says it's ok to visit - that we would have to come in direct contact with feces or contaminated bedding, clothing or her hands in order to catch it. I'm still concerned, because Mom is in good health right now, and I'd like to keep her that way. My sister was going to go with us, but she works in a hospital kitchen and needs to be careful of what she exposes herself to as well, or she will have to take time off from work to be sure she's cleared of any possible infection before she can work again.

Would you make the trip under those circumstances? I'm not crazy about it myself.
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I had recurrent sciatica for several years. It would be so bad I couldn't sit, stand, or drive. It felt like someone was driving hot rods deep into the bones of my leg. Sometimes it would be on one side. Other times the other side. I think it was pyriformis syndrome. I found that getting a new chair helped. I also noticed that after hubby and I split up that I didn't get sciatica anymore. It made me wonder if the certain ways he required to be intimate was the main thing causing my problems. If that is what was causing it, I got rid of more than one pain when I left.
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My whine for the day. Controlling older sister who treats my sweet mom like a child.
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i dont have a fuss today . the general builder out at the new " old " farmhouse told me today that when my stonework reached roof height the metal roofing guys are going to come out and remove some roof metal and help me set up on the back side of the chimney . ( 30 ft in the air ) . what a relief . ive done fell off that roof and died 3 fkn times in my dreams .
were going to place one monster stone , about car hood size , way up near the top of the chimney . it'll be a treat for having to crook your neck to look up that high .
lotta fun -- lotta hard work ..
my helper may have already secured herself fulltime , longterm work on the farm . shes a bit ocd and cleans up incessantly . with 6 - 15 men out there making one horrific construction mess after another she has landed in the right place at the right time .
wish all of you the best with your aches and pains . ive started taking one aleve gel cap each day for the arthritic hands and it seems to be helping .
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Thanks, Katie. Sharon, I had a herniated disk that put pressure on sciatic...soooo painful! Went thru PT and started walking every day...finally felt better after a few months. Good idea, Pam...I'll try that.
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I have these "nubby" balls that you roll your foot on every evening.. really helped my plantar faciatis! I do it more if it acts up!
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Dee~Yes limping can through the whole spine off...I have learned the hard way. I ignored pain on left hip/sciatia for several months. Why shouldn't I have, slapping on an ice pack for 20 minutes every morning stopped it and I was good to go until the next morning. I have been out of work since 3/19 (5) weeks. The pain got so bad I could not stand or sit for more than a few minutes before I could not deal with it anymore. I went to a chiropractor, my hips were out of ailgnment, muscle spasms and inflammation.I am finally going back to work next week. I also have plantar faciatis in my right heel. My next stop to getting it under control...I wish you the best in health.
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Dee, I hope the foot pain gets better. I had terrible foot pain in both feet a few years ago that lasted 9 months and then just got better for no apparent reason. I never did figure out what that was all about. Take care of yourself and don't forget to keep hydrated too!
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I took a couple hours off work today and got myself to the doctor. About time, right? Got lots of blood work done. Blood pressure was a little high but he didn't seem concerned. I'm praying all's well. I've been referred to podiatrist for the foot pain - doc thinks it's Morton's Neuroma so hopefully that'll resolve because it's really painful and I'm tired of limping...plus limping puts stress on other joints and throws the whole body mechanics off. Maybe sitting around on my duff and less-than-stellar eating has caught up with me and I need to get back in shape. I sure don't want to feel like this anymore. Hope you all have a great day.
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Sorry Katie. My mom has one, too. This is her 4th one in less than a year. They wipe everyone out. Poor mom. She can't empty her bladder and is incontinent. The perfect storm.
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Mom has yet another UTI in the rehab facility. She just had one last week. They say this is a different one. They want to do IV antibiotics. These UTIs are continual and relentless and I am worried about that. These have been going on for 10 months but seem to be coming on faster and more frequent. She was also just hospitalized for one last month as it was an unusual bacteria and her regular doctor wouldn't prescribe anything but wanted her to go to a specialist but delirium had quickly set in so she ended up in the hospital. This is ridiculous, and I am through the wringer today. Again.
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theres a good article on the daily mail this am . its about dementia and sundowning but the article and comments are focused on the toll dementia takes on the immediate carer ( s ) . since dementia patients seem to calm down in later stages i think theres a good chance that the carer is under more duress than the patient .
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Dee, keep us posted on what you find out.

Well, life is ever-changing, right? Daughter showed up Friday with kids in tow, claiming to be done w/her husband, and when I asked (many times) if she was *sure* this is what she wanted to do, she assured me it was. 3 days later, she's decided to go back and give him "one more chance". Throwing my hands in the air - I'm done. This was a major stressor for me, and I (and members of my family who helped in various ways) put a lot on the line to make this happen for her so she could get away from him. This is the 3rd time I have stepped in and rescued her from a bad situation - 3 strikes...I'm out, I guess. I don't need all this hassle on top of my work and caring for Mom.

To top it off, I stepped away from my keyboard for a while, then came back and tried to use my keyboard, only to find it was tipping to one side, making typing an exercise in balancing and typing, deleting, typing, deleting, as the tipping screwed up my spelling. I looked like an idiot with my head cocked to one side, looking at the underside of the keyboard as I raised it up, only to find that one of the "feet" had snapped off and was lying in pieces under the keyboard. How the heck does something like that happen?? I don't have proof, but the 15-lb cat looks very guilty and was found playing hockey with the broken keyboard foot not long ago.....

hellloooooo mr. rum n' coke.......maybe I'll drink it out of my caregiver helmet.
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I will get in to the doc. I'm still paying off an ER visit 2 years ago when I went in for chest discomfort...they said it was my depression/anxiety. I pay a lot for my insurance and it sucks. May as well schedule and get it done so I don't have to worry about beginning to exercise again. I will have to take off work. Maybe I should schedule doc, dentist, haircut/brow wax, then get pups to vet. If I have $$/time maybe a deep tissue massage. I can dream, right?
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Dee, I use to be able to do around 6-8 hours of yard work with just a break for lunch back when I was in my 50's.... today I am lucky if I can do 45 minutes worth now that I am 68... very frustrating to say the least.

Finally saw my eye doctor after being away for 2 years... she asked why I didn't come in last year.... said I am dealing with elderly parents... she understood because she had been caring for her Mom who had Alzheimer's for ten years until she passed.
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Dee swollen hands and feet usually have a physical condition behind them. Now stress may have pushed this condition whatever it is into overdrive. I am afraid you are going to have to swallow at least some of that deductible, but a few days in ICU would wipe it out and then some. Before you go for any tests make sure you really understand why they are being done and what the cost will be and if there is something simpler that would provide the same information. Do the same with any prescriptions. You may not need a top of the line drug when there is a generic that has worked for years. If you have a serious condition and do use up that deductible take the opportunity this year to get everything else checked out that you have been neglecting while they are free.
At least get checked out now, as you have been advised it is really experienced.
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Ok, gals. I will get to a doctor. I just have such shi*ty insurance and no $$ for the $3k deductible. Plus somehow they usually attribute everything to my chronic/clinical depression/anxiety. A couple of years ago I had lost 40 pounds and was exercising and feeling better than I ever had. Then my youngest brother died at age 39 - he was an alcoholic and prescription drug abuser - he lived with mom at her house with his wife/kids - they were a MAJOR stress for my mom for years. When she had the stroke we had to tell them to leave since we'd have to take care of mom in her home. His wife and kids left, he stayed. He overdosed a couple of times, had some seizures. Things kept getting worse and were very stressful and I couldn't take anymore, so my older brother (also mom's POA) and I told him he had to leave. He was homeless for a couple of years. He would come to mom's when I left for work, the caregivers would let him in, he would eat, shower, sleep, etc. Started bringing homeless girlfriend with him. Told him he couldn't come over unless me or my other brother were there, that the caregivers (one of whom was a family friend) were there to work - they'd complain about him, but let him in...you get the idea. I don't know how I made it through those years, but I finally just had enough. I'd leave notes for him on the door not to come in or I'd call police, etc. He was on SSI because of his mental and physical problems. He'd tell mom about his life on the street, she'd worry about him, etc. I told him one day I wasn't going to watch him kill himself, and that I wasn't going to let him stress me like he did mom. I tried explaining to him that she can't be there for him anymore, she has dementia - he didn't get it, I guess. Got to where I'd get a huge surge of stress on my way to mom's after work. He was homeless, on the street, just blocks away from mom's he had cardiac arrest. They got him to the hospital, he was on life support - docs said he'd never be the same - the rest of us 6 kids and his separated wife had to make the decision to pull the plug. The guilt I feel over his being homeless and suffering is excruciating. Pulling the final plug topped it off. If only I'd been more patient, more giving, more understanding, helpful. Since I feel partly responsible, I stopped caring, started eating and stopped exercising. Needless to say, that 40 pounds found it's way back and I feel like crap all the time. I'm wondering if it has to do with that, if I have inflammation from my poor diet. Well, I'm determined to get the weight off again, and exercise, and take better care of myself. Sorry for rambling. If I had found this site years ago I believe I could have had the support I needed. But thankfully, I found it a few months ago so here I am...lucky you! I am thankful for you all.
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dee, hire someone to clean up yard and the beds for you. Then rethink your usual planting plan and streamline it way back. Do whatever you need to to allow you to garden with less time available....this should be your place of joy not another source of stress.
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DEE!!! What Susan said!!! Don't make me come and kick your a**! PLEASE learn from my mistakes!
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Dee - get thee to a doctor - ASAP.

Seriously - could be something going on there that needs medical attention, not just age. Swelling is a sign of inflammation or a reaction to something.
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Whew. Got my van cleaned out this weekend and started on spring cleaning. I didn't even get my bedroom painted because I had to keep taking breaks. Why am I so wiped out? My feet and hands are swollen and painful. I didn't even do any gardening this weekend except for planting some bulbs and seeds - nothing strenuous. I have an entire backyard to weed and clean up since I didn't get to it last fall. And I have my raised veggie beds to set up. I used to be able to work 8-10 hours straight. Really worried that I feel like this at 51. Yikes.
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jesse,
my mom developed OCD in her last year or so of life . its one of the few things we " clashed " over . my work just simply stomps me and on my time off im not likely to be obssessively cleaning a house or lawn . the line between quirky and demented doesnt seem to exist , just another stage of mental unwellness that is likely to affect your own mental health . you dont have to read very much about mood disorders to find verification of what im saying . mood disorders primarily ( and negatively ) affect relationships .
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Well, I just called in sick today. I can breathe for the first time in a few days, but feel achy and feverish. Maybe this is a flu?
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