My "whine moment today." What's yours?

JessieBelle, I feel this way each and every day. There seem to be very few good days anymore. And as though the worries about my Mom and now my husband's health are not bad enough, there are other things that always seem to come up and harass and haunt.
I think back to years ago and wonder how things could have seemed so much better. I see other people just going on like they always have for years and years and wonder how they can do that. Sometimes it feels like my life ended 7 years ago but kept going on for years thereafter with everything just systematically getting taken away bit by bit, faster and faster. I feel like I am in a never ending tornado dodging and getting hit by debris constantly and wondering what will be left standing if this storm ever ends. I am so grateful for everyone on this site and knowing I am not alone. I hope someday we all emerge well and stronger for all we are going through now. Day at a time.

Ever get the feeling your life has disintegrated to chaos? Mom has entered a new phase of a free-running period, like drifting in time. I thought today about how her life is misery all day every day. Then I realized that I was thinking about my own life.

Too bad we can't get our elders to read these forums.... but then again, would they even notice themselves? Probably not.

I can provide any eye surgery info! Feeling much better today as well. Dad escaped illness again! whew. Easter Bunny coming to his Happy hour tomorrow. Will have to take photos.

To all you poor folks who live in CA i guess you had better order your astro turf berfore there is a run on it

Oh Boni I had missed your post about your eye problems and diabetes. You have faced and overcome far worse and although eye surgery terrifies me too I am told it really is not that bad. I was terrified of needles in the spine but survived an epidural steroid injection last week and did not even feel the needle. I have cateracts in my future too. maybe you will be a good girl now and stick to your diet (I should talk)
Jeanette you are right to be pissed the on call nurse should have made a visit to check Mom out. if i had just called the EMTs I would have had a new one reamed.
Anyway how can you catapult some one who is too heavy for you to get off the floor.

CM I don't think Jessie could afford a $250 hotel room. Super 8 does not have those kinds of luxuries.

Hubby has gone off tonight to his first ham radio meeting taking one of his "new" morse transmitters with him. I can only remember SOS so I doubt he can do more than that either.

Jeanette you are welcome to come over for a chat anytime. pebble can come too as long as she does not chase cats.

Awh ((((Boni)))) girl I am so sorry to know you've got yet another setback. Just when you thought it was safe to poke your head out eh? You know you've got my prayers and best of everything vibing across the USA for you. It's kind of muffed up to have done so much for others only to find yourself in one health crisis after the other. Just where the hell is the justice in al this? I agree with Cap... too many things on the "worry" pile. You know, I was telling my carer a few months ago that I felt I was on the precipice of diabetes. Why? My eyes. After too many sugary drinks they'd get blurry, the fatigue, the wounds not healing as they used to.... I should have asked my doctor yesterday to do blood work. I didn't. Why? The results. Lately it seems, I pool the covers over my head on just too many things. Blinders are on and all I want to do is see mom through. Period. After, if given the chance I'll deal with all the other shit.

I really don't post that often anymore... things are down to the wire here, my heart is heavy and reality is just way too close, like shoved in my face close. Do many of you are exactly where I was a year ago and deep down I somehow know what is ahead for some of you. If you think it's hard now...

No panapal, I would never regret what I'm doing or my mom. Never. My mother is also losing a lot of weight... she's not eating like she used to but nor is she as active as she once was. She has enough intake of food that normally one wouldn't keep losing, but she is... and grows weaker and sleepier each day. Those subtle changes aren't as quiet or sneaky as they used to be. panapal, glue tubes as lip balm? LOL!! hehe that wouldn't be so bad if she is one of those constant chatters ;)

Susan, what's happening with you and your kids is pretty close to what Josh and I went through. After trying to deal with his never ending crisis, I had to just S.T.O.P. If it's life threatening of course I will be there for him. Other than that, he's on his own. There is no way, just NO way I can handle everyone's problems right now. My heart goes out to you...

I have 2 things that are deserving of "whines'. First one, people saying they are going to come by (2nd time now) and don't show up. STAY the hell home ...not that I go that far out of my way, but I do go... it's just rude saying you're stopping by and don't.

2nd whine... and this is more like it pissed me off to a new level of pisstivity. Hospice. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely love all the ladies that I've met so far. Seriously, I adore them and how kind/gentle they are with mom. BUT, when mom's nurse was here yesterday she made a comment about mom being catapulted out of her transfer chair the other night. So, her nurse had been off for a week due to medical issues and I guess the "on call" nurse was filling her in.... when mom did her slow graceful slide out of her chair the other night ( I posted about this) and I wasn't able to lift her back up, I did as Hospice asked and called them first, they called the Fire Department and all was good. However, the way the "on call" nurse described it to moms nurse was that I had somehow "CATAPULTED" her out of her chair. WtF? Truly, I was offended by her total lack professionalism and inability to use the right words to describe what actually had happened. I've been stewing about this for 24 hours now and I'm still pissed.

Veronica, I'd love to have a sit down with you and your hubby, you two sound like you'd be a hoot!! LOL

Guess I should go take my pebble for a quickie walkies before the storm hits.

Ahhh.... Did I mention my brothers volunteered to bring pizza and movie over next week and hang out with mom and I? another WtF moment....

But JessieBelle when you get out of the bath there's a big fluffy robe (that you haven't had to launder) and a hot breakfast (that you didn't have to cook) waiting on a tray (that you didn't have to carry) - wait, I think I'm talking myself in to something here :) Only it's not just the hotel booking, it's the care taking fee too, which adds up to... oh bummer.

I have not one but two daughters in the house each taking a couple of well deserved days' rest, yippee! And I did get into the shower by, say, noon or so. Guess how much hot water there was left???

I'm lucky to have my own half-bath, but no shower. I prefer baths, but we don't have anything but a walk-in shower. Sometimes I think about renting a hotel room just to get a real bath. But the $100 it would cost makes me reconsider.

ugh, Jessie...I can't *tell* you how many times I've prayed for God to just drop a 2nd working bathroom into this house. I would give anything to have my own bathroom, where no one pees on the rug (leaving wet cold spots for me to step in with my bare feet first thing in the morning), leaves poop smears on the toilet seat (and trash can and floor and tub), leaves horrible smells and then turns the fan off when she leaves the bathroom, leaves major BM's in the toilet without flushing.....and without wiping.

(sigh)

Grrr. I was just about to get my shower and Mom got in the bathroom. She stunk it up and then got in the shower. Hey! It's my shower time. Not yours. (sulk, pity party) Have you ever noticed that when you're a caregiver you always get shoved to the back of the line... and sometimes you teeter and fall off a cliff. Sheesh. (patiently waiting for my time in the shower)

JeanetteB I have had the same problem with gaining while Mom maintains or loses weight over the last several years. Dr asked how many meals a day is Mom eating now? I said "One, all day long" Mom eats constantly and has lost 14 lbs in 4 months. This is part of the Alzheimer and isnt uncommon. There will come a day when you wish she will eat but wont. Feed her lots of salads and fresh fruit to keep her bowels moving if you can. You wont regret what you are doing for her.

My whine for the day is that Mom continues to think glue tubes are lip suave. Trying to think of creative places to hide my art supplies where my not to sharp mind wont forget where I put them.

I usually post here using my iphone or ipad.

Now i am going to whine. Hubby took a ham radio exam on sat and passed and nor someone has given him two very old and large morse transmitters which were probably state of the art 70 years ago but now they are dirty metal boxes sitting on my dining room table. "His half" of the table he told a visitor. he has a habit of invading "my" space to I told him how far he could clutter. I happen to like my place mat clean and clear when I dish up a meal hence the rule.

Agree with all the progress leaving us behind. I have had a laptop for several years and like it because I can stay in my recliner and use it on my lap. I do find that things jump around though and words get typed in the wrong places etc. Much more comfortable and I am in not danger of landing on the floor if I hapen to fall asleep.
Since i joined this forum i have been annoyed that i could not correct my atroious spelling. Well now i have found a little gadget the size of a small calculator. You type in the word the way you think it is spelt and it comes up with the correct spelling. very handy but unfortunately also quite small and difficult to read.
Jessie I am not going out on any small boat, I am far too scared

I am hanging onto my desk top computer for all it is worth which I use a regular keyboard which is like an electric typewriter... I don't like the newer versions of computer software where everything slides up or down or back and forth using one's fingers.... yikes, where is my Dramamine, I get motion sick quickly.

Technology has gotten away from everyone. Every little tech brain out there has become specialized in what they do, but there is too much for one person to know it all. It seems intimidating that there are super-brains out there that know everything about tech. Actually, we're all out there in our little boats, hoping someone else's craft doesn't ram and sink us.

Today I took over to my parents copies of their signed Wills, POA's, yada, yada, yada which came in a professional looking 3-ring binder separated with tabs plus a CD disc of all the paperwork.

But I didn't give them the original signed copies because I have noticed that Dad has paper piles everywhere and I have visions of those signed copies would find their way into the recycling next week.

Dad said he can't read the disc until he gets his computer fixed.... ah, Dad, you don't need the Internet to use a disc. So sad seeing Dad becoming confused about the new computers/programs as he use to write code to develop his own software. Technology has gotten away from both of us as it is moving too fast for us to keep up. Dad still has a very old computer in the basement so he can use the old floppy discs.

Bad caregiver, Jessie? How, in what way? Not rising to the bait? Ok maybe you denied her an hour's pointless argument for entertainment, but think of the good you'll have done her blood pressure. And your own.

Um, if that's being a bad caregiver, gulp...

I see serious need for my St. John's Wort today....

My Mom is real good at remembering to reorder pills way before she runs out.... but not, Dad, he will down the last pill and the next day realize he doesn't have any more... back then he used a discount mail order service, so that meant he was at the mercy of the postal service, the weather [hey if there are blizzards mail trucks are delayed], and the time of day the post office is opened because of his darn postal box...

Finally got him to have the mail order pharmacy mail the pills to his house, I wasn't about to run to the post office box twice a day to see if the pills were there when he has a perfectly good mailbox at the end of his driveway.

Bravo, currently my parents are using a local drug store, a half a block from my office, the place is nice so I am more than happy to go there to get their pills. Plus now I can ask for a certain manufacturer for Mom's pills because she's has issues with fillers/binders/coating on pills [so do I].

In the past Mom had no control over which manufacturer because of the mail order pharmacy... and I couldn't get them to switch to a local pharmacy... Dad was concerned about cost.... HELLO, what is more important, Mom not getting sick from the fillers or your saving a few dollars, which they could easy afford... [where's my helmet?]

Boni many hugs to you about your vision. Laser eye surgery is very quick and painless just a lot of drops to take after. Hping for the best outcome possible for you.
Recovering slowly, fever and chills gone and very hungry as I ate very little yesterday. Tired if drinking Gatorade too. But I am going to have to miss a vendor's open house today as its a bit much to handle today as going to Dad's. Have to work tomorrow so I will stop in before or after work.

Well done Jessie, my sntiments exactly.

Now I am going to whine.
Ordered a refill on my Sotolol on Sunday the automated system said it would be readyMonday afternoon. Went to pick it up and was told they had run out but her was a three day supply. Called last evening (Tues) and was told it did not come in and they had ordered 300 from another supplier so I could call after 3pm today (Wed) my prescription is for a 3 month supply that is 180 pills - they gave me six on Moday and said if I went in they could give me a few more. So we will see what happens this afternoon!!!!!!!
This is from a well know chain with a dsicount paharmacy and this is not the firt time this has happened. This is so serious because it is fo A fib and can;t be suddenly stopped. It is very dangerous and i would have to go to the hospital. fortunately i never let myself run out of meds completely so am not actually in any danger but the paharmacist did not know that. Not a good way for anyone to be treated especially elders who may knot know how dangerous running out is,

Jessie, it sounds like you took the wind out of her sails haha!

I'm starting off the day with a whine...I woke up at 1:15 a.m. and as tired and sleepy as I always am I could not fall back to sleep. My upper back and my hips hurt no matter which way I laid. Finally dozed off around 3 then up again at 6. Gonna be a long day at work. Wish I could take the day off. Ugh.

I was a bit of a bad caregiver tonight. My mother was in her b*chy role. Her new psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Remeron for her to start tonight. She talked about how she wasn't going to take it, wasn't going to see him again, and wasn't going to go to the incontinence clinic. She said they were just after her money and all this stuff was silly. She is probably right. I was thinking it was rather pointless, too, at this stage. She started digging at me -- surprise, right? I just told her I didn't disagree with her, that I would put the pill out and she could take it if she wanted. If she didn't want to, I didn't care. I had no dog in the race.

Well, that didn't set well and she started talking about how I didn't care. I told her I had "care burnout" and that I knew she was just trying to push buttons. "If you want to take the pill, fine. If you don't, I don't care. No dog in this race."

And I really didn't care. I know that much of her problem is her personality. If she decides a pill isn't going to work, it won't. It felt good to say that I didn't care and leave her with her argumentative self. All my dogs are tired and don't want to race, especially when there's nothing to be won.

I hope she is okay, Pam. I wondered if they were going to have to fuse or just see if it heals right.

Twizard, I still have the hug links. I have windows 7 with updates. Maybe you need an update?
My whine is: my sister called me from the ER, she fell twice at home and fractured her back at T12. We live 900 miles away from her. I'm flying to Atlanta GA on Thursday. Not sure how long I'll be there. Shxx, she is only 68 and lives alone.

Bonichak, here is a {{{{{{{{{HUGE}}}}}}}}}} hug for you. This site used to have the ability to give hugs. Don't like site redesign. But my heart goes out to everyone for icky day. I do have good news, sort of simple, but still good. DH broke ankle 5 weeks ago. I became walking nightmare for about 3 weeks. At same time, I fell on ice and got whiplash. Today, I took day off from work and just sewed. To "bleep" with everything. My neck and shoulders felt better, and I finished quilt top. Yay. Simple things make me super happy these days. Sewing restores my sanity.

im almost 57 yrs old and i was thinking back a little bit this evening and realized my dad had a heart attack at 60 , developed diabetes and kidney disease and crappied off at 72 . i should forget all about this " cleaning up my act " quest ive been on and just live like a freakin hooligan instead . reaching 80 , sitting in a NH and batting at my own saliva sounds pretty lame to me .
hope some better news comes your way boni . seems theres always something to worry the hell out of us .

Oh Boni....I wish I had words of wisdom. All I can do is say I'm thinking good thoughts for you. My eye doctor used the dreaded B and G words on me last year - Bifocals and (possible early) Glaucoma. Kept asking me if I was diabetic - I'm not. At least not yet. But that's the first time I'd heard those words and thought I was far too young for that. I guess not.

Will be thinking of you. Hang in there.