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Dee, Have you tried Chloraseptic spray into the back of your throat? That seems to be the only thing that works for me when I get a sore throat, it really helps numb out the pain.
I saw a great bumper sticker on a car at the hospital today..it said: "Ask your doctor what medical advice from a television commercial can do for you.."
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dee, same exact thing happened with my mother!! It was my first experience with a UTI, I'd thought she'd had a stroke. The ER did a whole gamut of tests. She didn't wake up when they put an IV in her nor a catheter!! What woke her up was whatever they put into an IV bag. They claimed it was dehydration. Now I know that wasn't possible since she drinks lots of water, heck more than I do... they never checked for a UTI. I brought her home that day ...frantically searched for liquids to keep dehydration at bay, but she zonked out again!! Thankfully, Agingcare.com and it's plethora of knowledgeable posters suggested I test her for a UTI. I did a home check and it was positive... off to Urgent Care we went.. Our poor moms indeed!! Oh... dee, should you really be working?...do you work around people?

Speaking of ma... she will be home by noon. It's like my child is returning from summer camp! LOL I got her a BIG bouquet of daffodils ...all her special food she likes. I sure hope she isn't worse for wear than when I sent her off...
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Katie I think Mom is probably sleepy because she is so ill. It takes a great effort to do anything for yourself and even having a nurse bathe you can be exhausting and being made to get up and walk just leads to exhaustion. of course it is essential to get up and move to improve breathing and prevent blood clots but elders do find this hard and would prefer to be left alone to sleep. not necessarily good or bad but expect a long recovery after any hospital stay.
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dee, it sounds like you're coming down with what I have. I'm on Day 6 of this cold and feel better now. I was wondering if I might have the flu, because I have been having some smell perversion. But it is just a cold.
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Hope you mom feels better soon, Katie. Jeanette, I know what you mean about missing your mom while she's away. She'll soon be home and under your loving care. My throat is on fire, folks. It's at that raw/making me gag stage. I feel like sh*t and pray my mom doesn't get it. I wish I could take off work and sleep all day but that's life.
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Katie, one time my mom was in the hospital because we couldn't get/keep her awake. The ER had done a UTI check and said it was negative. About 3 days in the doctor said they had done all the tests they could and couldn't find an explanation so they wanted to do a spinal tap. I said the likelihood of mom having meningitis was pretty much nil but agreed after doc said it's what he would do if it were his mother (eh? must not like her very much). I was in the room when they did the test - it actually woke mom up after 3 days of trying everything else. So back to her room. The test came back negative, of course. The next morning I stopped in on my way to work, hoping to catch doc. I missed him but I didn't miss the telltale urine odor. I called the nurse in and requested another UTI test. When I got there after work the nurse said "good catch, the UTI came back positive". As my mom would say, no sh*t, Sherlock. They started antibiotics right away. 2 days later they said the culture came back and they needed to switch her to a different antibiotic. A day or two later she was back to her baseline and I brought her home instead of another rehab stint. My poor mom.
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Hi Rita, I agree that you can tell your Mom the situation would not be possible at the moment and then distract her into other conversation. I hope they have some interesting activities there that that might keep her focused on that.
My Mom is still in the hospital on antibiotics. I wonder if the antibiotics are making her sleepy too, or if something else is going on. It is hard to catch the doctor there as they make their rounds at different times. I am planning on heading there soon and see what I can find out. No matter where your parent is, it is stressful but just in different ways.
Susan, the rock from the truck may have torn a wheel boot. That is a rubbery covering that helps protect the wheel under the car. This happened to me when a chunk of concrete flew up from the highway a few years ago. They replaced the wheel boot at the service place at my car dealer. Hope all will go ok. We also have so many pot holes in the roads here this time of year and this year seems especially bad too.
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Welcome Rita. I think you can only continue you tell her that it is not possible them change the subject. you are absolutely correct in not moving her to your home. Has she been asessed for depression? she certainly has plenty to be dressed about.
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Welcome Rita !

From what you wrote, I don't think the truth will set well with you mother....Is she participating with activities in the assisted living home? Perhaps something to distract her throughout the day might help? As hard as it is it would be great if you could get your mom more interested in HER life vs YOURS. Distracting and keeping her busy are now your best friend.

Good luck and keep posting!
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Welcome Rita76,

Sorry that your mother is in such sad shape, but it's good that she's in assisted living. Her dementia and denial are both going to make it basically impossible to reason with.

I'm not sure confrontation with the truth will work because she will likely quickly forget it and also just outright deny it.

Would it be possible to distract her in the conversation? You may end up using the broken record approach of saying the same explanation again until the next time the question comes up. I had to do that with my mother often.. It gets old, but it's better than getting into all all out fight over it.

I've not slept well in two nights and my mind is tired. So, I hope others will have some better ideas.

Welcome to a wonderful place to find support and to whine!
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Hello. This is my first post, I've just discovered this site. So nice to find so many to share the load. My current whine is that for the past few weeks my mom is obsessed with wanting to come live with me and my husband. She is wheelchair bound and legally blind due to macular. I have her in a very nice assisted living and I go there 3-4 days a week. I have many times explained that she could not live in our house (stairs) and I could not possibly be ac24/7 nurse for her. She has some dementia and a great deal of denial. The argument resumes in a day or two. I've quit offering the explanation, but am not sure if I should just confront her with the truth that she's not going to walk again. I think it's all the hope she has, she basically can't do anything else because she can't see and hears very poorly. So- thoughts?
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Grrrrr....driving home tonight after a run to the store, and something (don't know what, but it sounded big and hard, like a rock) flew off a truck ahead of me and bounced up under the van and hit it - hard. I pulled over - the driver of the truck ahead of me did not. I'm sure they didn't realize what had happened, but now I have an odd clunking sound coming from under the van, and I need to call the insurance agency tomorrow AND the repair shop to see what the heck happened. Hoping the insurance agency will tell me this could be a comp claim and not collision - depends on how the policy is written. Because it was damage caused by someone else and not something I could have prevented - and was not directly caused by another vehicle - I'm hoping they'll say comp. Comp is generally non-vehicular damage, like something falling on your vehicle, a deer strike or hail damage, etc. Fingers crossed. Really don't need to deal with an expensive repair right now....
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Hi Boni !! I hope you're doing well :)

Katie, my mother has also been very lethargic and sleepy. Now, what I'm getting at is your mother is in the hospital right? - Mine is at the hospice house. I've seen her 4 times since she's been there, my carer has went almost everyday. Each visit she was barely able to keep her eyes open. Why? Mine wasn't quite like that when she left, was yours? I called and asked if they were giving her the Haldol or Ativan, said no, however at 11:00 a.m. today she'd not had her morning meds.

I somehow feel they're going to be more frail when they get home. Personally, I plan on giving her a thorough body inspection since I know she's not left that bed since she arrived.

I'm not sure what's worse, the actual taking care of an AD loved one or worrying about their care when out of the home.

dee, don't tell me you're getting the flu on top of everything else? Gads woman!

Susan, I admire your tenacity.

I'm off to home depot to get some fence replacement. The big labs next door have almost pushed through my side (my fence) so I have to find a way to make it dog proof. Too much scuffling going on by the corner of the fence for me. Sydney wouldn't bother with them if they didn't stand there barking at her!! Grrr!!

Again, I may whine about it but I sure will be happy when mom gets home.
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Veronica, they have not diagnosed her with pneumonia but she is getting a lot of antibiotics, even through an IV so this could be effecting the appetite and swallowing. She is getting 3 Glucernas at least each day, so that helps. She is so very lethargic and sleeping all the time too...
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Just popping in to say HI and let you all know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Katie 222 from memory is it your Mom who went to the hospital with a UTI and was found to have pneumonia and is now not eating?
Anyway if this is the case she has probably been given a lot of antibiotics and that kills the apetite and also make swallowing more painful and difficult. Nutitional drinks like Ensure can help a lot.
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Feel better soon, Dee!

Thanks, Jeanette - I know...I'm doing too much right now, but finances dictate the need. If there are things I want to do to the house, trips I want to make to see my son, things I need to do for mom (like the tub), then the money has to come from somewhere.

I'm venturing into my storage unit today to pull things out to decorate the house with a combination of both mine and Mom's. Time to make this more like home for me and less like a temporary living situation. I'm tired of my stuff all being in storage - I can't bring the things I really want to bring, because they're too big, but I can bring a few decorative items.
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I pray I do not get Mom sick.
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Aaaarrrggh!!!!!! Come on!!! Started sneezing on the way home from mom's 3 hour eye doc appt yesterday. Took a nap in the afternoon and woke up with a horrible sore throat. Back pain and chest discomfort - now this? I have way too much to do to be sick. This sucks BIG TIME.
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Boy do I hate waking up in the morning from a bad dream and realizing reality is worse at this point! Mom is sleeping a lot in the hospital and seemed content yesterday, but I am not sure how well the infection is clearing.

Jeanette, I know what you mean about it being strange that Mom is not in the house where she usually is. After Mom went to the hospital I kept going into her room feeling strange like there should be something I need to be doing. I miss her.
I ended up cleaning her room top to bottom, but I still go in there and just stare at things a couple times a day...wonder what will happen and how things are going to go from here. I am trying to do some things like rest, take care of car tune ups, house repairs and cleaning etc. to feel useful and keep the worrying at bay.
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here's my whine (albit) life wish. How can I get my whingy husband on sedation? He's overly opinionated, makes me cringe at the thought of initimacy (oh yes) and well, gosh just is a plain jane bore... BTW he's 60, and I'm 12 yrs his junior. And I do look after my aging 85 yr old mum. Well she can be a hoot, but I'll leave that for another day lol
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Susan, it sounds like you are ready for a break yourself. Hate to be the bearer of bad news hun, but it does get worse, so prepare yourself right now. You are over-working yourself, plus the mental stress. Not a good combo.

I tend to write things down, prioritize as needed and check stuff off as I go, BUT, it's very hard to do when you are caring for an elder because your needs always get's superseded by their needs. Just a friendly warning :))

Hope, did you send your rain up here? Thanks! haha, actually it hasn't bothered me at all, gave me an excuse to stay home and do nothing. I am still trying to shampoo the carpet before bedtime, got as far as a thorough vacuum and took a break LOL! a very long break.

Katie, how are you doing?... I know things seem like they're hitting you all at once.

Dee... ugh, 3 hours for an eye appointment? Poor you! :p

Ok, I have a confession. I miss my mother. I have this terrible feeling of guilt leaving her there by herself. She's in an awesome place but it's not home. I have visited her several times.... hmmm, next week I will be whining of how tired I am again so I'd better rest up and stop worrying.
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Anyone seen any new postings from Texarkana? I hope everything is ok.
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:)
Police know someone is lying when they change their story. Maybe I should put a bright light on my Mom and say, "Now tell us what REALLY happened with your wedding ring."
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JessieBell, I've noticed the true from the not so true. LOL.
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CarolAnne, I can so relate. I have many of my mother's tales down verbatim now. She tells the same stories using the same words each time like she is saying something new.

Now, there is one story she tells that keeps changing. It makes me wonder what REALLY happened to her wedding ring. What is she hiding that the story keeps changing. I suspect she dropped it down the sink or something, but never owned up to it. So she tells the story of how a dishonest coworker stole it -- sometimes from the sink, sometimes from her purse. There's mischief afoot, I tell you. :)
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CarolAnn, one suggestion is to check with your local council on Aging to see what types of programs are available to help you with your Dad. If you live in the States go to the website link below.... click on your State... now click on your city/county.

https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging
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My whine of the day. My dad is in the early throes of dementia. He repeats the same stories every day, every hour, sometimes every half hour. If you don't listen, he sulks and says I should go to a home. At this point, he can't afford assisted/personal care. Without a doctor's recommendation, no insurance. I know, because after hearing his army story for the umpteenth time, I guiltily looked into it. He's been living with us for 3 months and he has not stopped talking. Literally, dad spends his waking hours talking. My husband and I haven't heard a TV show since his arrival.

And, if I call my husband, "Honey" or "lovebug", my father answers everytime.

He is clean, can heat his coffee, bathe. So I guess I have it pretty good.

Whew. That's my whine of the day. LOL. I hope to God, that my family will be patient with me when I get there. . We all will.
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Jessie, thanks for the laugh when I read "you can probably pick up an ear trumpet at that place where they sell helmets".... how true :)
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Susan, I'm going to the dollar store...woo hoo!! and that will be my break for the week most likely... :)
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