I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I guess since most of you are still posting, that you don't use IE.
Jessie my MIL was like that too and hubby inherited it. When I feel ill I always make sure I am situated like get to bed first becaus as soon as I mention something he immediately comes down with something worse. My now retired PMD who was also married to a Dr remarked one day that Drs make the worst nurses.
JessieBelle, There seems to be a lot of colds going around from the strange weather most of the country has had this last month. My Dad was like that though....he was always having imaginary ailments. One day I asked him if he had PMS too...and he insisted he did...until I told him what it was and he and I had a good laugh. Haha...caught!! My MIL is like this and is always exaggerating her condition or telling us she has this or that ailment. It is difficult on my husband as he never knows if she is really sick or making something up for attention as she is often doing.
I don't react to my mother's symptoms anymore. After five years of one symptom after another, I've learned not to react. She has had five years of earaches, sore throats, "cancer," skin ailments, tummy problems, and I don't remember what all. I'd be crazy by now if I reacted to all of them. Still I have that naggy feeling each day, what if this time it really is something.
I wish I had taken notes about caregiving. I could write a good book on caring for someone who looks like a sweet lady on the outside, but is possessed by demons. Have you guys seen the college video about the school for horror show kids? Great video. Google it if you want a chuckle. That is a bit what I feel like here.
What to do what to do...yes, such a fine balance...so many emotions. Thing is I had already prepared myself as much as anyone is able to prepare themselves...I am almost ashamed to confess I even went ahead and made sure I had my clothes and her suit where I could easily find them because I don't want to be in a frenzy when that sad day arrives...I also needed a heavy coat at the time it all began because during the winters it gets so cold...what a horrible purchase to make that was...why does all that make me feel so ugly? It's stuff that will be necessary...and I guess in my head I am thinking best to do it while my head is at least a little clear but it makes me feel like a greasy monkey sitting there in the corner wringing my tiny nasty little hands ......what is wrong with me?? I think I am crazy.....
I did go in my room and just sat down a bit ago and looked really hard at "me"...yes, I look tired and yes I have let myself go ....too much so...but, I'm not gone yet...and I literally MADE myself smile and really look and see that I am still in there somewhere...and I pulled myself up by my bootlaces again and decided that right now it is about Mama and so she had a good breakfast and she is all ready for the day and now is snoozing. I am able to pull her up in the bed so that she can rest at an angle where she is elevated and that helps her breathe easily..she looks very comfortable right now...
It is a pretty sunny day and I think I saw at wallyworld the bulbs are here and they are popping up so I may just drift over and buy a few and make some more pots so we can watch them grow and bloom. it's still sad...but life goes on..and it will go on then and this is always what it is headed to for us all..... *sigh*
This kind of gurgling can happen in the last days of life because lung secretions may increase. The loved one is usually unconscious at this time but there are medications hospice can use to dry up the secretions.
There is a difference between aspiration which can cause pneumonia and terminal secretions. These conditions happen even with the best of loving care and it is never the fault of the caregiver. Talk to your hospice RN about it. Don't be afraid to call the On-call RN it is their job and often a phone call can tell you what to do without a visit. When terminal secretions occur it may help to turn the loved on to one side or the other and simply put a towel under the head and wipe up the secretions which may be quite copious. Using suction is not a good idea because it irriates the throat just makes matters worse. If you are not already give only small amounts of thickened liquids for each mouthful. Have Mama sitting as upright as possible when you feed her. I don't know how you feed her but a sippy cup may help or a straw or a dropper or small syringe without a needle. Again hospice will advise. The other alternative is a gastric tube but at this stage of Mamas' life this would not be a good idea. If she says "No" respect that and try again later. The advice to give a lot of water is of course correct for the reasons it is being given but may not be the kindest thing for a dying person as it may cause organ over load. it is a fine balence which is the reason you have the folks from hospice to advice you. Bless you Hope as you go along this very difficult pathway
Hope, do you think maybe your mom caught a cold? My mom had a bad cough and cold about a month ago. At their ages, this scares me. I hope your mom feels better soon!!
I did get on ebay tonight and thought I'd won a pair of beautiful opal drop earrings (my favorite stone) and was watching and waiting to bid at the last second if I had to and it got down to one second..ONE SECOND and there were two bids at the last minute and it happened so fast I didn't even increase my bid...shoot! oh well...I don't guess I needed those..where would I wear them???? the dollar store...grocery....pharmacy....woo woo
Today my sister graced us with her presence after not seeing my mom since the holidays. She only lives about a 15 minute drive away! She told me I needed to "carve out some time for myself". Gee, I would love to do that, but tell me how?? She can't help out..too busy and has absolutely not one bit of patience for my poor mom. If my mom asks her the same thing twice she snaps at her. How about answering the same question 15 times inside of 30 minutes?
Anyway, I never thought my life would go this direction either, but here it is and here we are. I think sometimes that we are very blessed and I feel so honored. Other times, all I want to do is whine!! I hope you all have a good weekend wherever you are and whatever you are doing! xoxoxo
CM How about a nice cactus for Mum?
Mother's gone off chrysanthemums now. It might be quicker for her to admit she's not one for flowers in general and I can just chuck them all out and stick a penguin on her dressing table instead.
Veronica, thanks for the update on the Volt, didn't realize they are too close to the ground. I had to laugh when you said "getting to the dr's office and all three of you trapped in the car." :)