My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Lourdesb61 - sure we do. Come on in, the water's fine! It may help you to vent.

You don't have enough room On your page.

Katie, I've notice a computer software issues today... I was doing my on-line grocery shopping and the software kept getting suck which was the first time that ever happened in a year of using the service.

We are dealing with a foot of snow here here in the nation's Capitol. It stops everyone in their tracks. I left work at noon and the road was deserted.

Linda, for a couple years tried Prilosec OTC... yesterday I bought Nexium, just popped in my first pill a couple of minutes ago... I know I should take before breakfast but if I get any side effects I rather it be when I am not at work.

Forget gardening, just bending over to dig in the dirt brings up the reflux :P And how I miss playing in the dirt, I found it relaxing.

Maybe I should pour the coconut oil into the printer...and then smash it onto the driveway if that doesn't work haha....grrrr. I hate machinery!!

Seems like the weather is making everything go haywire today....now my computer printer is not shutting off with the stupid blinking light on and off telling me it is shutting down but it is in stuck mode....about ready to smash the thing onto the driveway!! Mom has yet another UTI too, but the nurse practitioner will get the script for the antibiotic in, thankfully.

I have a brother, 5 sisters, 4 BIL and 15 nephews all within a 5 minute drive, yet I am the only one who shovels the snow. We got a foot I have shoveled 3 times, more expected. Just shoot me

ff, I'm past Tums and onto Pepcid....I've always been healthy, active, Everready bunny. I resent that the fallout of dealing with my mom's ongoing quest to turn back time is causing me to feel drained, snappish. Last Sunday was lovely and I had wanted to plant peas (gardening is my happy place) but I was too worn to want to go dig. I get that this situation is not what she envisioned for herself. We can't turn back her health issues, we can't give her the social whirl she had back in the day, we've run thru all the options (her living with us, her in a gorgeous AL).

Ok, whine over - thanks for listening.

Linda22, same happens to me, my acid reflux kicks in the day before I need to take my parents anywhere.... and it's in major kick form while driving them :P

Where are my Tums? And my helmet?

Sigh....once again, my mom's denial of all health issues (ie, can't barely pivot and transfer but insists she walks fine with a walker, is on two person assist to do everything but wants her own apartment) has her unleashing on my sister. I'm going to pick her up on Saturday for an afternoon out, and my GERD is starting to kick up at just the idea of an afternoon captive to her current mood. And at the center of my gut flaring is the knowledge that while we (and her doctors) know she needs 24/7 care, she's mentally pretty good (some short term memory issues) so she could decide she doesn't need or want to be in NH. Since she's mentally competent, I have no idea what would happen if she decided she should leave the NH.

Grr. My mother just ate tonight's dinner for lunch. Now I have to make something else.

I'm in the coconut oil camp, too, Boni. I use it in my coffee every morning (bulletproof coffee w/coconut oil and unsalted grass-fed butter). Awesome stuff. I use the unrefined virgin coconut oil in my coffee and for cooking, and the refined kind (cheaper) for my face and neck. Drinking the BPC in the morning makes a huge difference - I think more clearly and it has a mood-levelling benefit (which obviously wasn't quite enough for me this week. My mood overpowered it. LOL).

thanks Boni..going to give that a try...at least I can look marvelous while I lose my mind... :)

Not a whine, just some FYI for Ya'll. There has been a lot of talk about coconut oil. I just want you to know, it may or may not help with dementia, but I bought it for my HAIR and it has never been softer or shinier! I look Marvelous! LOL!

Susan, hopefully Jeanette took our advice and took her well deserved and needed respite. I do have her phone/text number and will check on her if we don't hear from her today.

Hope, my grandfather did that too, after he had a severe stroke. They had him in bed in the hospital with the rails up, and this 300+ lb. man heaved his body over the rails on one side and landed on the floor. He was pretty determined to get out of that bed. Then they started putting him up in a wheelchair, but had to use sheets to secure him to the chair (tied around his chest and waist, like seat belts - this was decades ago, wouldn't be allowed now). He would sit there and pull at them, muttering, "too tight. too tight. sumb*tch. too tight." The nurse would come in and say, "Don! It's NOT too tight!" and she'd pull it out away from his chest to show him, and then leave the room - whereupon he returned to muttering "sumb*tch. too tight!" Have to chuckle at it now, though I know he must have been incredibly frustrated.

As usual, mom finally showered after I got upset and irritated with her about it. I apologized for being irritated, saying I was only trying to do what was best for her, she said she understood, and on it goes....as usual. We'll have this same fight and conversation in 2 days. I got her toes done (*gag*), so that's done for another week or so. My stomach is still flip-flopping.

Ouch... I have an inflamed esophagus and it is all stress driven... my sig other thinks it only happens whenever I call my parents or had been down to their house... he doesn't realize it also happens when he comes home from work [he generates equal amount of stress but heavens no one can dare can tell him that because it's everyone elses fault, never his].

Where my helmet?

dee, I know, it's so sad to think that being bedfast would almost be preferable to wandering around but once Mama's dementia got so bad she was such a danger to herself...I did finally get one of those bed alarms and the bed rails that will attach to a normal bed..those would usually detain her long enough that I could get there before she figured out how to CLIMB OVER THEM...but I remember those days and I mean you could not let her out of your sight...but still seeing her so unable now to move, that is so sad too...none of it is not sad... :(

My mom's been confined to wheelchair/couch/bed since her stroke in 2008. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have a wanderer.

It's so hard isn't it...sitting here reading a lot of your posts with your loved ones who are up and down and down and up and here and there..and it reminds me of when Mama was like that...and now she is totally bedfast...and how sad to say that in some ways it is a blessing because it got to where if she was up she was either trying to go out the door or falling...but how sad to have to say that someone being bedfast can be a blessing...I don't think I mean that the way it sounds....all of it is horrible...and someone as sweet as Mama all of it seems so unfair....

today is cold and there is a line of ice just north of us that has been stalled and now seems to be heading our way...I already prepared for it so we're in...hahaha...what am I saying...heck we're always in......hugs to you all out there, up there, over there....none of it is easy....Mama is having a happy day though..so that means I am having one...

CM, you've got to tell me the secret of keeping the buttons from being pushed but not set off, because mine are being set off like crazy lately....

My whine is about my sister's flying visit today. Here just long enough to sabotage mother's breakfast by backing her up when she said she didn't want it (if you don't comment but just gently persist you can get it down her, but not if someone is making faces and chipping in "perhaps she doesn't like it" in the background), instruct me on laying a fire - which she does twice daily and I've never done before, right? Oh wait, no, it's the other way about - and flutter about helplessly instead of sitting down next to mother and having some actual contact.

Ugh! But at least these days I've got those buttons safely covered. Pushed but not set off. It's all progress :)

Jeanette - haven't heard from you in a bit....you and Mom ok? Just realized you haven't been on for a bit.

Hope - could be one or all of what Veronica said - or gastritis, brought on by stress. Definitely need to get it checked out to rule out anything serious. My system reacts badly to stress - I started with gastritis from stress when I was 10 years old, and it's always been something I have to watch out for. (I won't go into what was causing so much stress for a 10 year old that my stomach tried to eat itself.)

The battle of the wills has been joined today. My mood has not been great for most of this week, and today kind of snapped it for me. I told Mom she needed to get a shower this morning, because she didn't yesterday on her scheduled day. She insisted on eating first - earlier than normal, which throws my schedule off. So fine, I stop everything I'm doing and run to make her breakfast. Not without some small amount of slamming and banging, which I feel guilty about, but dammit, I'm so tired of the step-and-fetch routine. So then she says she'll shower when she's done eating. Finishes eating and I remind her of the shower. Nope, wants to close her eyes for a few minutes - so she sleeps in her chair for 20 minutes, until I tell her to just lay down and sleep in her bed. Sleeps for 20 minutes, pops back up, and IMMEDIATELY upon my saying "shower?", says "Nope, I'm going to lay back down." SHE *JUST* GOT UP. Told her to go to the bathroom - nope, laid back down. So after an hour of sleeping, she gets up, saying she has to pee - really badly - well, of course she does! I tell her to get ready for a shower while she's in there - ok, she says. 2 seconds later, she says she's going to come out and eat a banana before she showers, and when I look at her in disbelief, she says, "I know, I know!! I'm going to shower, just not now!" I. HATE. THIS. She will only get in the shower when I absolutely force the issue, and some days - like today - I have to get downright nasty with her about it before she'll do it. ("Nasty", as in being really firm and stern with her, verbally, and insisting that she shower, like you have to with a muddy 5-year-old. It's just never been my way to be like that with her, and it's hard for me. Goes against my grain.)

oh. my. God. I am so freaking tired of this battle of wills. I know she's older and it's hard to get in and out of the tub, and I haven't been able to come up with the $1800 to get the tub re-done yet so it's easier for her to get in and out, but dammit, I am paying for so many other things right now to make her life easier! (The $1800 includes a new tub surround, which is sorely needed, because the current one leaks, and a new faucet, because the current one is broken.)

As much as I hate the thought of her being in a nursing home, when that day comes, at least I won't be battling with her all the time. Someone else can do it and I can go back to having a NORMAL mother-daughter relationship with her. I think that's the thing I hate the most about this caregiving thing. The loss of anything even close to a normal relationship between us. I am trying SO hard to maintain my level of patience and caring with her, but it's so hard some days - like today. When I get impatient, I start reacting badly, like a petulant teenager - slamming and banging things around - and I know darn well I'm doing it, but it's the only way I can vent my frustration and anger without taking it out on her verbally - which I will never do. I know when I reach that level, it's time to put my headphones on and turn on music, so I can shut her and the rest of the world out, while working and still keeping one eye on her to make sure she's ok. Headphones have been on since about 10am today....sure sign of a bad day.

Sorry, I know this is the same old tune...but it's the same crap, different day around here....just like the rest of you are dealing with....

Thanks Veronica...wait....limit alcohol??????????

Jessie just think of all the brownie points you are earning up there in heaven.

FF cold you persuade Dad to come to your house and try your internet service? He's never going to need all the whistles and bells so don't worry that you don't understand all those.

Now I am going to whine. I can not touch type and when I look up to check I find a lot of the letters just have not appeared and my post is a garbled mess. It really does happen because if I watch they just don't show. Whine whine. Maybe I need another laptop mine is twice as heavy as hubby's.

Jessie, Patience 101? I would think more like 501.

Hope I am guessing that you have an ulcer,hiatal hernia or inflamed esophagus.
Time for a visit to the Dr or failing that get some OTC acid reducers like Pepcid.
That reduces the acid in your stomach and stops acid flowing back into your oesophagus. try and sleep slightly proped up, avoid acid foods like tomatoes and citrus, spicy food like curries and stick to bland meals like chicken with mashed potatoes and a veg. Stress makes stomach issues much worse but for now there is no way out of that. Eat small meals and snacks frequently through the day rather than one big dinner at night and limit alchol.

glad, the complaining does wear on the nerves. When I sit down with my mother, she starts on a symptom she is having. A finger hurts or there is a little red bump somewhere. Then it goes to another symptom she is having. By the time she gets to about Symptom 4 I am worn out. It taps into that "need to fix" part of me, but I know there is no way to fix what is wrong. I know that she is just communicating what is on her mind. I do wish she wouldn't fixate so much on herself. I think of how nice it would be to have someone who wanted to talk politics or anything interesting. Gossip would even be nice. Caregiving is definitely a course in Patience 101.

Probably for the 100th time I have told Dad that is internet problems isn't with his computer, it's because he is still using dial-up in a large metro area.... his brain seems to be stuck on the computer being at fault. He compares all of his newer computers to his very old IBM computer [which isn't made any more] and thinks other brands are very different.... nope, Dad, it's like a car, the inside workings are similar, only the outside cover is different.

Well, yesterday after hearing the same very old complaint I tried a different approach. I told Dad that *dial-up* now is in the same category as the old wall mounted *crank telephones* from the 1940's.... you will not get the same service today on the crank telephone as you would on today's telephones, and there's probably no one who can repair it. Time to move on, Dad, to cable or satellite dish.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that will make him understand as Dad's not good with change, as he kept saying 5 years ago he was able to get Internet using dial-up..... [sigh]... oh well, new technology has gotten away from me, too.