I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
LOL on calling the brothers for help. By the time all this is said and done, we will be wearing helmets listening to crickets living inside our heads :) although, last summer I did fracture 2 ribs and punctured a lung (don't ask) I HAD HAD HAD to call them. By the time I'd made it home from my bicycling trip, sat down on the couch for a few hours my entire body seized up in excruciating pain. One brother had to watch mom and the other had to take me to the ER. Just don't let it get too bad on you, call them if you have to. Besides, you get good drugs for back pain! just kidding ;)
All this hoopla the past several days is seriously overwhelming. Trying to find an out of the way home for all the "equipment" they brought is... another task in itself. Still no word on the UTI. I've been giving her some OTC stuff... hoping it alleviates at least some of her discomfort.
Agreed, hope. AD is like living in the here and now. Spares them some dignity in a world of indignant living. Of course, none of it is spared on the CG! grrr thank you for the excellent advice on how to clean mom up in the mornings... I think wearing one of those gowns that close in the back would be best at night vs her regular fluffy jammies. I've washed all the cute frog faces off of them lately and now they look like green blobs.
Still working on finding an easier way to get mom cleaned up in the mornings, keep from doing mass laundry and the smell of urine down to a bearable breath. That intense smell is proof enough for me that she has a UTI, not to mention she's peeing more than ever. Anywho... met with the Social Worker and RN Case Manager yesterday.... lovely ladies but still... haha, RN lady told me she's the one who will order more meds when needed and feel free to use when needed. Why did I get the impression that some of those are meant for the carer? Like the xananx? LOL!! No I've not dipped (yet) I'm too chicken for things like that. Least for now. Oh yeah... I decided to just be me when they got here, so since it wasn't a "break day" for me and I wasn't leaving the house, it was cold windy and raining like crazy, I kept MY warm fuzzys on. heh, least I brushed my hair and dabbed on some perfume :)
Jessie, mom wouldn't let me listen to music either when she was able to go for rides. I happen to love taking long drives, music playing and windows open, weather permitting of course. What I ended up doing is buying some inexpensive CD Books, popped a story in and quiet ride time ensued. Ahhh.
Oh, my 5 days of respite has been moved to Wednesday, I was feeling very rushed and still worried about her UTI. I know eventually I will get more rest than I will ever need so no need to rush this.
ff, I AM in denial about my age. There is NO WAY I can feel so old, beat up and worn out at 51. Your mom is the opposite bless her heart. She's still young at heart :)
A few minutes ago I dropped the package off with my parents. I had already opened it to see what was in there and I knew this might be too much for them to handle, over 100 pages of stuff to read. Dad seemed ok with it all, he's ready to sign. Mom wants to read what she can. Then she asked "what's a Power of Attorney".... oh my, how does one explain to a 97 year old what that document represent, especially when that 97 year old is almost deaf, and can barely see. Mom had a scowl on her face like she doesn't want any part of this.
Why on earth didn't my parents pay attention to this 10 years ago.
Where is my helmet?
Oh, Mom did say something good that she wants to give some things to her two Godchildren [who are 68 and 75] before she dies and she doesn't want it in the Will.... great idea, but what is she waiting for? Do it now so she can still enjoy seeing them like whatever it is. Mom must be in denial about her age.
Dad will say such and such happened couple days ago when in fact it was a couple of weeks ago. There's just not a lot of variety in their week, which is their choice not mine. I can't be Julie McCoy, cruise director, for them. If only they would have moved to that retirement village where is a lot of stuff going on all week. That way Monday is bridge, Tuesday is swimming, Wednesday is bingo, etc.
I am no expert by any means, but I do think their time frame is different. I don't know, but it seems they remember things a long time ago, or the here and now, but things that happened recently...like a day or so..or a week ago, it's almost like once it's over, it's over....I am anxious to hear what others say about this. I know I was worried about my Mama the time I put her in respite for those five days when I had to move my belongings from my former home and I was so afraid she would be irritated at me for leaving her..but she seemed totally content and none worse for the time away...I'm wondering if AD is just kind of living in the here and now most all the time and maybe that is a good thing for them....sounds like he did just fine...but I understand the whole can't help but worry thing..i do it too...
Sounds like you handled the future bride situation well...I can't imagine throwing a wedding into the mix of what is already going on here.
Last night, my cousin, who has been abandoned by everyone ..same one as who came here and did nothing but sit and let me wait on her recently, anyway, she started texting me last night wanting to know where I was with finding her a car. She is paying for it of course, but I had found one that due to my vehicles breaking down, Mama getting worse, not having a sitter, etc. etc. etc., I have been unable to go up and drive it and make sure it is as good of a deal as it sounds and looks..anyway she knows all this and began bugging the holy crapola out of me and to be honest I just got fed up with it. She even said...I have got to do something, I have had to cancel more doctors appointments and I am going crazy..well, you know what then??? get up and find your own car friendo...I did not say that to her, but I did tell her...look, you know my situation and that is my priority...I figure she can fill in the blanks...good grief...people are unbelievable....and so selfish
Sally, ohmahgod it's not funny but I did have to chuckle at your mom and the dogs. That was my mom a few years ago as well. She thought my littlest dog was her "doll baby" She'd pack him around all day, sometimes upside down, she'd bring him water in the palm of her hands.... now, none of that would have been too bad but the little dog is older than the hills and has been blind/deaf for a year and a half now. LOL!!! I was constantly rescuing him... hehe, our parent's sure can be a trip at times!
hope. YES I do remember how the constant flow of people drove you batty! It's a bit overwhelming in the beginning isn't it? Jeepers man, I've got the Social Worker and now moms permanent Nurse both coming today, at the same time. I think next in line will be the chaplin and the bather's. Sure hope they aren't expecting a spotless house and me to remember everyone's name and job title. Not happening. I was up late into the night cleaning someones messy bottom, showering them and getting them back to bed, oh, and arguing with my son and his "fiance". That is another entire story. I finally told both of them to just do whatever it is they felt they had to do, just don't expect to move here and don't expect me to save them.
hope, thank you for the valuable info regarding hospice..... is the snow still there? Spring left us and winter returned :/
I decided to turn Mama's bed towards the big french doors so she could see the pretty snow..she seemed to enjoy it and has now fallen asleep. After I did it, I worried it might confuse her, I forget any little change can do that..but right now she is sleepy and has had a good bath and a good breakfast..all her UTI symptoms are gone, thank God, still got to finish the course of treatment, but unbelievable what a difference a couple of days makes....
My Mom started seeing a urogynecologist a year ago which she was referred to by the gerontologist. The urogyncologist did a couple of tests one looked at her bladder through a camera, the other measured intake and output. The camera test showed how very inflamed Mom's bladder was which indicated what medications to put her on. The uro added a number of meds to Mom's regimen and she has not had a UTI since. I am with your Mom's doctor, specialists are often necessary fo recurring UTI's to get to the root of the problem and to try to stop the infections if left untreated can lead to sepsis and death. One of the meds is a very low dose antibiotic that in combination with the others has done the job. Get Mom to the urogynecologist, if you have one, otherwise a urologist would work as well.
While I was there doing my tour I couldn't help but notice that there was only ONE person in the unit. This is a big facility... and they made me feel like if I didn't make a decision within 5 seconds I would lose bed space :/ One thought kept running through my mind, it was the title to a post "Do you think hospice rushed your loved ones death"? Needless to say I got instantly tired... had to leave with stomach cramps and came home.
Re-thinking it all on more time.
Social Worker is coming tomorrow. Good Lord there's been too many people in and out lately.
PamZ, hand in there honey, .... it is hard when it gets to this part.
I pray they send a scrip for Cipro tomorrow for mom... my poor li'l muffin really isn't feeling well, and she grabs herself when she has to go potty. Asshats! She still ate her ice cream bar though.... ahhhh
Nope, Dad said he saw someone suspicious when he was going out to the mailbox, and when the guy saw Dad he turned around and started walking the opposite direction. We live in a very safe neighborhood, and the street my parents live on is a mile long circle, and lot of people walk the circle for exercise and walking their dogs. I told Dad the guy maybe can't walk the whole circle so when he gets to your house he turns around and walks back to his house, not unusual to see people doing that. But I couldn't convince Dad of that.
So I told Dad he can have mail sent c/o of my name and address... I live in the same subdivision right off the circle. Never had any mail taken from my mailbox. Or we could get one of those locked curbside mailboxes.
I wanted to build a really big snowman, shaped like a cat, it was the perfect kind of snow for it..but it did get really cold and my coffee pot was calling me...I got all m y walking and taking pictures out of my system and then I got me a good hot bath and just got cozy and snug with Mama and we enjoyed the day so much. I know I had a LOT of stuff I needed to do, but it will be here tomorrow, so today was for us... :) kind of sad seeing the snow go now....but once it starts melting and gets messy, time to go....
Mom has started repeating things at different times of the day because she's forgotten that she said them earlier in the day. I have been trying desperately to get some household projects done, which she insists are better done during the daylight hours. No idea why - we have lights! It's not like the sun has to be shining for me to hang a shelf or do something else inside the house. Yet, for the past 2 nights, when I finish my work for the day and start on projects, and its dark outside, she reminds me - "I thought you were going to do that when it was still daylight?" She's done this about 3 or 4 times now.
Right, Mom. Yes, Mom. I KNOW, MOM. What I really want to say is, "Excuse me, but I was busy working 12 hours a day for my clients, which keeps our heads above water financially, feeds and clothes you and pays for the never ending projects and repairs on this house and the vehicle. Sorry that I couldn't find a spare hour while the sun was shining to do these projects because that's how YOU think it should be done!"
Grrrrrr. ...
I am ready to hang myself if my mom asks me one more time where her dogs are when they are right next to her!!! I am so frustrated that I can't get any work done! I know that it's not good if she naps for too long, but honestly, it's the only peace I get! She gets in these moods where she just wants to follow the dogs and let them in and out of the house all afternoon. She lets them out, then asks where they are! I know she can't help it and one day all these irritations will fade away and I will just be sad not to have her around. But sheesh....why does it have to be so annoying!! Uh-oh....gotta run....dogs are barking again!! Love to all....
Pam this is such a hard time for you. thoughts prayers and hugs comming your way. Are they considering a stomach tube or is he too far declined to even think about that. if he can tolerate it he will feel much better.