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Pam, it is exasperating what you have been going through. I hope that hospice will make it easier on you. Good thoughts are coming your way that everything falls into place. I knew a man who had leukemia that was in and out of the hospital every few days. If I had known then what I know now... Hospice is a godsend. They tell us to not wait so long to call them in. It gets confusing to figure out when to call them.
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Hope, what part of Alabama? Must be somewhere in the north part of the state. I'm in Birmingham.
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Well, again at 10 p the phone rang.. dad back to ER with blood sugars of almost 400. We had to meet him there. As he can no longer swallow, he was very dehydrated. Sodium way up.. We agreed to fluids and some non invasive tests to go along to check his kidney functions. No infections, good xray. Swallow attempt again today, no swallow... his sodium still going up so he is in a telemetry unit. Hospice called, they left the info for us, MC is on board. The hospital is going to keep him a few days until everything is set up. The Dr's agree that it is time for hospice. If we had already had it on board he would not be in the hospital, but we were waiting for the swallow eval and so it goes.. He is alot perkier with the fluids, but still not going to change anything and we can;t have him going to the ER every few days for fluids.. no on wants that,, So going to try to get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight.. and on to the next hard choices.
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Hope, CIPRO is amazing, isn't it? Those nasty bugs really wreak havoc and when the meds start battling those bugs, our loved ones perk up. I can tell that you are so excited for your momma to be interacting with you - that really warms my heart. You are such a sweet soul. We got a bit more snow here in NW IL - I'm sick of shoveling - though it did cover the old ugly snow and brighten everything up a bit. I'd go out and build a snowman but it's not "packing snow"...well, that, and I'm too lazy :). I love watching when it snows. It's so quiet and tranquil. A couple of years ago I took Mom out on the front porch during a snow storm, made a pile of snowballs for her, and we had a snowball "fight". Haha! That was a fun memory.

Jessie - I got to the last line and was expecting something totally different haha! That made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing it!
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Yay!!! Moms paperwork was expedited and it looks like she is going HOME tomorrow. I can not believe how hard one week of this has been and that's with aides for 5 out of seven days. I've already told Mom I will NOT be visiting for a week or so, until I get my strength back, and take time for some emotional healing. Soooooooo, who's up for a caregiver respite???? I say we meet in VEGAS!!!!!
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i'm soooo glad how quickly those UTI meds begin to treat the problem...Mama seems to start responding within twelve hours of treatment.....
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They're amazing arent' they Jeanette! I know before I ever did the respite time (have only done it once so far, but soon as all the viruses and junk are kind of over i am going to do it again..specially if Mama keeps her strength up like this) anyway, I remember thinking how on earth am I going to coordinate all that ..it kind of wore me out thinking about it all...and yet they just handled it...from start to finish. all I had to do was get her little bag ready to go..they told me I didn't have to go at all, but certainly was welcome to if I wanted to..of course, like you, I had to see where i was sending her for those five days and turns out it was the nicest, coziest place...in fact I thought, now when i get on up there a few more years, I can see me being ok here...in a place like this... (all the hospice centers were full so Mama had to go to a NH facility) at first that bothered me greatly..until i saw it and from that point on I knew that is where I would prefer it for her to be other than the hospital facilities that run the other ones...when they brought her home, I didn't even go, they just packed all her stuff and brought it with her..all I had to do was have her nice clean bed waiting...she did great there..they took really good care of her, so I know next time it won't be so stressful on me ...I did go visit her a couple of times, but due to being out of town and on the road most of the time, I couldn't get there, but know now they really were great with her and sweet to her as well..and to me..and the hospice folks handled it all....no worries.. :) so glad all this has transpired so quickly...they usually get moving FAST once they get involved...I have gotten to where our aid and nurses feel like friends instead of health professionals..even though they are professionals in every sense of the word, I really love them and I know they love us too....

I think they told me you can take a respite period every 90 days. There is one lady, though I have no idea who she is of course, but they said that she knows exactly when hers is due her and she has it marked on her calendar and on THE DAY, she calls and gets it rolling..
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Well, whatdayaknow??? The phone rang this morning, and it was the spine surgeon's office calling to set up the consult that I had been busting my A-- trying to schedule for the past few weeks. When I talked to them earlier this week, they said that my mother needed to go to her MRI appt first, so that the doc could see the results of it and then be prepared to meet with us. I managed to schedule the MRI for this coming Saturday a.m., and was planning on calling the spine surgeon on Monday first thing.
The receptionist said we could come in on Monday, 3/9 at 9:00 a.m. and to bring a CD of this Saturday's MRI with us. Ok, then! I don't know what to make of the weeks of mounting frustration, followed by an occasional spash of efficiency! But I'll take it.
So, "vacation" day has been requested, and I am bracing myself for the first face-to-face contact I've had with my mother since we had to take her car away last July. Gulp....
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LOL!! Yessirree Jessie, I'm sure there a several of us that would love to actually SAY that!! One day... one day I think I just might.

hope, warms my heart knowing your mother is doing better. Amazing how damaging a UTI can be. It just sucks what little life is left right out of em! I know mom has one and we were able to get a urine sample yesterday. Just waiting on them to call me back with results and a scrip for antibiotics. Sad it takes so long for the process ...

I am going to go visit this Hospice House today. I just can't let them pick her up and take her somewhere I've not even seen!! Funny... I was trying to figure out how I was going to her mom there and the phone rang, it was the Social Worker, well bless their heart, they transport her! I KNEW this since hope had already mentioned it in regards to her mother, information overload has almost blanked my thoughts right out!!

Weird how you go from your phone hardly ever ringing, no visitors to people overload within 2 days. haha, not complaining just noting how quickly things change.

Katie, I hope things get a bit more peaceful in your life. As soon as this awfully long winter ends things should start perking up a bit. We need sunshine... I get so Vitamin D deficient during the long winter months I can barely hold my head up. The thick foam mattress on the bed plus her electric blanket made it too hot for her, once I turned her blanket off, cooled her down a bit she slept pretty good.

hehe, I still can't believe it snowed in Alabama!! Yikes!!
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I think we Whine thread people will like this heartwarming story sent to me by a friend today.

When we get older we think differently? This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind .........especially if you are familiar with the Elderly.

Dear Kean Elementary,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,
Agnes
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Yay Jeanette!!! Sounds like you are about to embark on some well deserved down time....that is great! I am also sooo glad your hospice nurse talked to the siblings about your needing a break...should make them think whether they show it or not....

I think our huge snow (we got around 9 that is NINE inches of snow here....wooo hoooo...I have been so happy all yesterday and today, especially since Mama has been returning to me...I am so glad I convinvced the nurse to try something for a UTI...Mama gets a look about her that almost tells me she has one..and when she does they can really wreak havoc quickly..The cipro is doing wonders and I am happy happy happy to inform that this morning when we were having a chat, I told her I loved her so much as I always do, but THIS time, she told me she loved me too!!!!! I have not heard those words in months almost four in fact...I am so happy to have been given this time with her. She has been smiling and laughing and my heart is so full...and happy...

And yes, I DID build a snowman. I was trying to make a cat snowman...it looks pretty good, and then my hands got so cold I had to stop for a spell, but it has been the soft and fluffy kind of snow that is so pretty..and so very rare for Alabama...I love it ...I am going to miss it when it goes..it all just fell into place this time...and I am so happy and so thankful....have fun Jeanette!!!!! you've earned it...
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Yay, Jeanette! Glad you're getting a well-deserved break! Enjoy that cabin time with your furkids - sounds heavenly.
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oh Jeanette, it's so GOOD to see you happy! I really hope you can get away to that cabin and just enjoy the time alone. Wonderful to hear that your brothers may finally be "getting it".
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Jeanette, I am so glad things are working out for you! Sometimes it all falls into place and this shows that there is hope for us all. I think it won't be long before your Mom gets used to the bed. The first night was the hardest for my Mom and then she began to get used to it.
All remains in a limbo here with Mom and with my husband. Just take the meds and stay the course. Will this Winter and these cold temperatures ever end for some of us??!! It has been a late but brutal Winter. In some ways it helps create a cozy, hibernating atmosphere I guess....
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I live in LA my mother has the heater on no matter what. I'm in my 40s I'm sweating and tossing and turning in my bed. I wish I could unplug it. As it is my fan is on all night. 365 a year.
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I've contacted AC about the spammers. They say that they are working on something. Every night around 12, they show up promoting basically the same things over and over again. I appreciate all that take the time to report them to AC.

Good night!
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If we just ignored them and not reply?
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I think AC really needs a spam bot filter. We get a lot of spam on the group. It seems to be only one source, but without a way to keep them out, they can come in whenever they want and post as much as they want.
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Change is so very hard on an AD loved one.

She's not liking her new bed. Not that it isn't comfortable, it's just different. I even put her favorite happy polka dot sheets on it. It may a challenging night tonight but... I have hope. Ha! She can always go sleep in my bed and I will sleep in hers.

Oh... poor Daphne had to squish her butt in ma's new bed. Before anyone says anything about that, Daph has been beside mom for well over a year... the dog is familiar to her. Both are old and incontinent. They bond very well together.

It might be a long night....
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Thanks for sharing the Joy J! I am so happy to hear YOU so happy! Big hugs!
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I forgot to mention, my son and soon to be DIL got matching tatoo's.

happy happy joy joy
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Susan, thank you. If I were closer and you weren't frozen in, I'd gladly be right there to help you also. OH, and it's snowing in Alabama! Our dear hope is outside building a darn snowman! LOL

The moon and stars are obviously in alignment and I couldn't be happier. I HATE discourse in family, but... I'm also just as stubborn as the rest.

Both local brothers showed up around 11:30!! What? 2nd bro in line hasn't spoke to me in months even if he's standing right here, and he kept that up for awhile. They were here when mom's new bed was delivered, plus they helped the guy out.... gotta keep up the pretense right?... their both watching mom, and I can see the look on their faces... outta sight out of mind caught up quickly today. 2nd bro even suggested I leave mom at the Hospice House... no can do. When the other Hospice Nurse showed up to take mom's vitals and basically do a thorough once over on her, both of them were so quiet.... her feet were purple and cold, she couldn't get a good pulse from that finger thing they use cuz her fingers were cold. IT IS HOT IN HERE. Mom's heart rate is slowing down causing this.... she hates her feet raised and those many long pacing nights have taken their toll.

Hospice Nurse then proceeded to tell THEM that I needed a break, me.... that what I have been doing so long alone was taking a toll on me. Me. I even let them listen to our conversation about BM and that I had crossed my bottom line... I don't know quite how I feel right now, but... relieved is on the top 2.

I have made a decision on where/what I am going to do during my 5 days.. Renting a deluxe cabin directly on the river. It's beautiful. Being winter it's not that expensive either and... I get a 3rd night FREE! 2nd oldest will watch my beloved Daphne. She's 14 and a larger dog with a touch of arthritis, Ken loves her and probably missed her sleepovers!.. I will take my 18 year old and of course my pibble. Also going is several fishing poles, my pontoon, plus another floatie raft, my laptop (yay we have internet) a bottle of nyquil Z.... lots of worms... and me.

Mom has been in 7th heaven today with all this attention. Go girl. She earned it! I do love the bed though... sheesh, If I get back before I pick her up I think I might just sleep in it.
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Today is my father's 89th Birthday how does he celebrate it, the best way he knows how..starting a huge argument. Why you ask ? Because we had the nerve to celebrate his birthday on Sunday as opposed to today. Never mind the fact that we thought we could get the whole family together on Sunday. No one could even come so at least my sister and I agreed to take Dad out to dinner. He has been complaining and being downright insulting ever since Monday. Oh the joy...
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Jeanette, so sorry to hear you're dealing with the crickets from your brothers....nothing is worse than silence. It smacks of indifference and uncaring attitude towards those they should love. Even if there is dysfunction, if the family is still in contact with each other, they should come together when their parent is headed downhill. A little help moving a bed is not an unreasonable request. I may get irritated with my siblings at times for their lack of help, but when I need something done around the house that I can't do myself, I can usually ask my brother. Sometimes I'll get the help, sometimes I won't - but if I don't, then I end up hiring it done or doing it myself. And the last time I went out of town to see my son for a few days, I have to say, Mom had more company than she could handle - the neighbors were on standby to check in on Mom, but said it seemed there was always a car here, so they didn't come over much.

I wish we were closer, I'd gladly come help you with that bed! I hope things get better for you soon. Hopefully the help from Hospice will provide a much-needed (and deserved!) break for you. ((Hugs))
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All the above comments concerning siblings is so true. Don't they even care?

looloo, mine don't undermine or cause problems either. That's just it, how can they if they are never around, don't call or stop by? It's all good. I was in a sad mood the other night and sent the oldest a text. "Brothers Dearest, I get all of the dysfunction we've had in this family, I do not get your dislike/indifference towards mom though, and you might have dislike towards me, I get that too, but this is your one and only mother. She calls out Ken's name as well as yours... look, I love both of you and just can't lose mom without you guys with me, Please". *crickets* Sent another text last night telling him mom was put on hospice and please, I need help with moving her bed. *crickets* Like dee mentioned,, guess I will just start enjoying crickets as back ground music.

I did manage to get her bed apart and cleared out, however, it is now blocking the entrance to the kitchen, the mattress is blocking the hallway into the 2 back bedrooms.... gads, now I have to go clear space in the garage and drag it in there.


No, hospice doesn't always mean our loved one is near death, simply means we have help, people who are loving/kind/caring... who will actually be there if we need them. They will help get us respite. Kind of like having loving helpful siblings without the dysfunction. Oh... the Nurse told us yesterday that basically every patient she's taken on with regards to caregivers, their siblings have disappeared, arguments ensued and they don't pop their heads up until the parent has passed. Hmm, wonder why?

hope, something must be in the air today as my mother is better than ever!! LOL ate a decent meal, kind of chatty, yeah almost lucid?

I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted, even if it's just for a little while, I will take it. For some reason I don't feel as tired and worn out as I normally do. haha, I better get moving before this feeling passes!!!
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Yay Jeanette...I avoided doing the hospice thing for a long long time...but they really have been a godsend for us..and it finally dawns on me it does not mean giving up...just letting folks help us...that is awesome..I thought they'd move pretty quickly..I know they did here.. :)

Mama is responding great to the cipro and I have been able to talk and laugh with her today...now I am wondering how long that has been going on..she is almost as lucid as she was when she first started getting bedfast....she even said she is excited about the snow ..I am too ...now :)
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looloo, I also waffle on my feelings about my brothers. I don't mind if they don't help, to tell the truth. We have things covered and we can always hire outside help if needed. The only thing that bothers me is wondering don't they even care. One brother is super religious and his family lives to the glory of God. The brother lives an hour away and calls once a month or so. He is so busy with his family. I understand that. At the same time I wonder at his lack of thought for his mother. It upsets her that he ignores her. He's so close, but he visits about as often as my brother who lives halfway across the US.
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Katie, I waffle on how I feel about my brother. Some days, I really am angry with him, I consider him a coward, and so on. Other days, I just tell myself he's doing the best he can, he's not undermining me or causing any real trouble, so I feel lucky in that regard. There are so many here who have sibs who do nothing but create conflict. At least mine doesn't do that.
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I have no siblings to help me but I am dismayed at the way I hear other people's siblings are running from helping their own ageing parent and the caregiver. I fear we may be in for the same cowardice when my MIL goes down and my husband's sister runs...she has always been a runner unable to face responsibility and accountability. I call what these loser siblings are doing just plain cowardice. That makes all of you very brave and better human beings.
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Katie I so agree with everything you have just said.
I have wondered for a while if there is a system for delaying care as long as possible for elders on Medicare. I feel a six month wait for a specialist appointment is too long to wait but that has been my recent experience. A neurologist told me that although I had abnormal tests results his job was to identify the usual and dangerous conditions and for the rest he could be forgiven.
As far as your mom is concerned it is of course very easy to write a script. In fact they don't even write the nurse types it in and with the approval of the Dr it is electronically sent to the pharmacy. But all that is totally useless unless they culcure the urine to make sure they use an antibiotic the bugs are sensitive to. No problem getting a specimum from a patient with a catheter.
Why not treat the yeast infection? Maybe he thinks that a urologist will be more knowlegeable and set up an antibiotic regime for Mom. Make sure any investigations the urologist recomends are useful.not unpleasant or damaging for Mom depending on her overall health does she need an MRI, CT scan or cystoscopy? Thes all carry hefty co-pays unless she has Medicaid. be sure you totally understand everything and what it entails and depending on what they may find would you do further treatment. don't agree in the office go home and research and ask questions before you agree to anything. For example i certainly would not agree to a colonoscopy for a 90 year old "because she has never had one and early detection saves lives"
Get off my high horse now but I have been experiencing the old age treatment recently.
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