I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
This morning I feel like doctors are telling us what is wrong with both my Mom and then also my husband's recurring heart problem...and then they never get back to us. Yesterday the heart doctor's office called to set my husband up with an appointment on tuesday and then she said she didn't know where the doc would be on tuesday and would call back.....never did. What?? It is like everyone is saying "You have a terrible problem....too bad....see ya...bye!!" No one wants to help but they sure want the money. This feeling of abandonment has always made me try to do everything myself. I have been told that I would probably take out my own appendix if I had appendicitis! I wouldn't go that far, but it probably would cross my mind as I am so used to not getting help I need. I am still fuming that the gp wants to send Mom first to an" infectious disease specialist" because of her UTI and now that that is cleared up but there is some yeast issues from the antibiotic his nurse says he wants to send her to urologist because she has a catheter. Old people get UTIs...it is not hard to write a script. A doctor that can't handle a patient having a catheter??? Unreal.
Boni, a lesson well-learned. Now you know first hand that your mom can no longer live with you - since your brothers were not willing to help you more with her care. No guilt - now. You proved it, her doctor reconfirmed it. And now you both will benefit with her going back to her new home.
Sent an SOS to my oldest bro... help please taking mom's bed apart and moving it.. Crickets... Sound of silence. F**k it. I will do it myself in the morning. Sorry.... I am very tired. They can still go f**k themselves... I might get a great night sleep :)
I took Mom to her GP today and he pulled me aside and said..."What are you all crazy???? Mom was doing great in the home, why would you take her out now?" His support helped a lot in convincing my brothers that we had made a mistake. She's going "home" as soon as we can arrange it. These last 6 days with her home I saw that her dementia was SO much worse, and that there was NO way I could do it myself anymore. Lots of tears, a little bit of yelling, but the decision is made and I am very relieved. These last 6 days have already taken a toll on my health. We can love, help and support them in many ways besides 24/7 hands on. It's all good GF.
i think you should refer to the hospice people as " home care " around your mother . everybody in the world has an idea that hospice means end of life care . i aint one to softsoap reality but she doesnt need steadily reminded of her prognosis imo .
i s'pect for the next few weeks and months youll have wild emotions that heretofore were unheard of . anxiety , relief , loss , sadness , fear , empathy , rage , etc .
glad you have help though ..
Just as soon as I posted about hospice not calling, they called. Within 2 hours the nurse was here. Turns out mom's doc gave the OK for hospice, not just the evaluation ... the whole 9 yards. Meds are on the way, UTI meds will be here tomorrow as well as a hospital bed, bedside commode... plus, everything else I could imagine. Lisa, my carer was thankfully here today with me... she took 2 pages of notes!! If I forgot something to ask, she asked. Good grief you'd of thought we'd won the damn lotto with all the great helpful things hospice left for us!! Wait... the RN asked me when I'd last had a break, especially since my dad passed 2 years ago... uh, 2 years 5 months ago. She got on the phone called "Hospice House" asked if beds were available and and and... said I basically had to take the 5 days. She went on to tell me that the primary carer has to be cared for as well. Yes, don't we all know that one? HA! I came apart like a gumball watch....
Oh oh... OH, she's also going to get the OK from whomever they get it from to see if Lisa (my carer) can get additional hours from the State, ore even hospice. Is it Christmas? Why am I so happy for something so sad? Ugh!!!
dee, my mom did the same exact comatose thing with her first UTI... I thought she'd had a d*mn stroke or something.
Darn, .... I have to get up super early, get mom up dressed and comfy because I do not want that hospital bed in the middle of the living room. She's comfortable in her room... no reason to change things on her, just her bed and that awesomely comfortable cushiony thing rolled up ... I was told not to unroll because it POOFS up :)) Scoooooch over mom, I'm sleeping with you!
I started Yoga!!!!!
I had a massage! !!!!
I have to remember i have to take care of me.
God......i need a vacation.
She's not my mother!
My mother died 10 yrs ago. She was only 59!
And she's Bitter that she's still alive!!
She's my MIL. But I'm so done!
Now I get similar issues if I eat too many peanuts. Pop corn sometimes does it, too.
I think I am getting an ulcer because of the stress :(
Veronica, if I wasn't so tired and upset I would be doubled over with laughter at your post!! LOL!! I haven't quite wrapped my feeble head at our conversation last night... why don't she just move to FL where he already has a d*mn job? I'm tired of saving everyone.... no one saves me except me and I am not doing a great job of even that lately.
I have a plan.... mom's carer will be here in a few minutes, I think I am going to take the test strip I have over to her doc's office and show it to them and demand antibiotics and an answer to my hospice evaluation. Grrr.
hope... it was nice that you had a great conversation with the chaplain. We need human interaction at times ya know? I get lonely talking to the dogs... even if my brothers would stop by to talk and NOT HELP it would be nice. I think.
Dee, I am glad you are feeling better. I put on my pj's and fluffy robe today now too already. My way of keeping the world at bay a little bit after this rough morning. Nothing beats the feeling of a fluffy robe and cup of herbal tea.
Jeanette...did the bride just inform you the wedding was in your yard and not even ask you if it was ok? I hope she doesn't put all the work for it on you to do alone! Sometimes I feel people put things on me because they think I have nothing better to do because I am, after all..."just sitting around tethered to my house eating bonbons and just taking care of my Mom all day". They just don't realize the work that goes into caregiving.
dee, so glad you're feeling better...I know that feeling of looking forward to getting everything done and that sweet moment of putting on the pj's and getting cozy again.
One of our chaplains came this morning, and I let him. Probably a good idea. I ended up talking a lot more than I thought I needed to, but it was helpful for me. Kind of like letting the steam off a pressure cooker...I was not upset or angry about anything, just needing to talk I think...It helped...