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Awh Katie, so sorry to hear about hubby's new worry (and yours). Seriously, I don't know how some of us make it through these heartbreaks we get tasked with.

No hope, she's not on hospice. I asked her dr about it several months ago but he kind of skipped over it. Perhaps I will just bypass him and have hospice come out and do their own evaluation. I found binder full of information they gave me for my dad. With his death I got a total of 3 days of hospice. He didn't want people in here so I took the brunt of it. Not going to do that with mom or else I will not make it through. Reading through the binder of information they gave us for day, mom shouldn't have any problems qualifying. None. If I were to go by the signs of imminent death it lists... well, that is where the AD patient may have a hard time getting admitted into hospice. Doesn't matter, I am going to give it a try. She is not doing well. As soon as I can get her up I will give her a UTI test. Thank God I copped the "hat" at the last UC visit. She's lost so much weight... her appetite is just gone, nothing tastes good anymore aside from ice cream bars and peanut butter cups. Even those shakes she loved and would drink 3 or more large glasses a day has dwindled down to 1 and that's with constant help from me. I feel like I need to make her eat/drink or I'm failing her. How can I just sit here and watch her deteriorate like this? My thinking is if she'd eat more/drink more she would do better, get stronger, live longer.

Katie... ohmagod but I do detest any sort of paperwork these days!!!
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Colonoscopy done! Chicken broth is allowed during prep, I had lots! I did much better this time; I reminded myself that every time I visited the bathroom, I needed do drink a glass of fluid (in my case snapped tea) to replace fluid and electrolytes. Also found a good tip on line...get Desitin and use in liberally before you start the prep. Reapply as necessary.
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Thanks everybody. It sure seems like life started really spriraling downward when I turned 50...am 57 now. The last 7-8 years in particular have been not so good. Things sure come in bunches and that does not help when one is already pushed to the brink.
I have wondered for Mom about hospice myself as she is completely bedridden and not really getting any better...in a sort of limbo with everything, just UTI's every few weeks. Maybe they would think she wouldn't be ready for this. Hashing through all the prescriptions and insurances etc. is awful as we have enough to worry about right now. Thanks again, and I hope everyone's day starts going better. I am going to try to get some rest when I can and stay out of the cold...
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jeanette ,
hearing things = mild phsycosis . perfectly normal for someone in your current situation . you know i aint no damm doctor but i cut wood for one ..
thats pretty close .
the master of self illusion upstairs came back home today and decided she needed some firewood . ( duh ) . so ive been hauling a couple of trk loads with her sons help . toes are cold ..
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Jeanette you are correct that it is difficult to admit a dementia patient to hospice. One thing they do consider is frequent hospital admissions or continued weight loss (failure to thrive) The Dr does have to authorize admission but someone from hospice will come out and assess her for admission and explain the program to you. if they are willing to take her then the Dr can sign the paperwork. The Dr has to have seen the patient recently - I can't remember how long before he can certify her as ready. Your Mom does not sound as though she is quite ready. compare her with Hope's Mom who is bed ridden, totally incontinent unable to do anything for herself and can't eat solid food.
if they want you to give medications you do not agree with or they have effects you don't like after you have started you don't have to give them to her. She can continue on any medications as usual and hospice will pay for those related to her terminal diagnosis but for example if she is diabetic and admitted with dementia you will continue to get them through your regular pharmacy as usual cost. No cost to you for meds given for comfort ie sedatives or nausia. They will offer antibiotics for UTIs or pneumonia but it's your choice to treat, If she falls and breaks something they will probably discharge her while she recieves treatment in hsopital but readmit when she returns home. It is very flexible but they do have to follow medicare guidelines and they also have to watch their budget carefully because they recieve a set amount per day for each patient. Some hospices are brtter endowed than others so can spend more and hire more staff etc. You do get the advantage of a five day respit at certain intervals and again i don't remember how frequently. Certainly worth investigating at this time so you know exactly what is available when the time comes. You are totally free to discharge her if there is a certain treatment you think may help her
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Thanks Susan...a little bit ago...it started snowing..she looked like she was sleeping. Mama always loved to see the snow falling...I said..awww Mama...the snow is falling!!! She woke up and said in a very tiny voice..."that's good"....how wonderful....that alone made me extrememly happy..;))
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ff....have you ever gotten one of those Rx cards you can usually get online or even in doctors offices I think. I have used them before and they did help somewhat...most of the normal scripts are included and any break is helpful..you might check it out...
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We have been on hospice now with Mama for over a year. I thought hospice only came in the event of imminent passing...but they told me it is different now...and that as a rule, advance AD usually helps qualify someone for it...It is a godsend having that nurse come out..we have one twice a week..the bathing aid comes three times a week..and to be honest I have come to enjoy their visits ..they are really sweet ladies and feel more like friends now than healthcare workers...
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Jeanette....I was thinking your Mom was ON Hospice...Surely she can get on it. Mama's diagnosis is AD and she is on it . I would think surely she would qualify for the home health aspect at the very least, but sounds to me like she would qualify for Hospice. they will give you all those pain meds and stuff but YOU are more in control of when and if you need them...at least that is how ours is here. Yall know how I am about people coming in here, and while I don't like the aspect of having folks here three times a week, in all honesty, my provider worked with me to send the same person each time, around the same time each day and same with the nurse...they seem to try at least to work with what will help YOU most...I would check with her doctor....absolutely...I thought you already had it....
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Katie, sorry to hear of your hubby's new problems. Hopefully the docs can get things under control.

Hope, glad your Mama is having a somewhat better day today...

FF - I know what you mean - Mom's prescription costs have steadily increased since Dad died. She never had a co-pay for her prescriptions when Dad was alive. He died, and -bang - copay. Last year, there was never a single prescription that didn't have a copay, so apparently she never hit her deductible in full. So far this year, they have gone up significantly in price - where I was paying $60-$70 a month before for her copays, now I'm paying well over $100. Not complaining too much, because it could be worse, but still...

Jeanette...hang in there, hun. I don't think your instinct is too far off, I'm sorry to say. I think you need to get with her doc, and soon. Discuss options and what comes next. ((Hugs))
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We all need uplifting news it seems!! If I had some I'd share it but... lately it seems like I'm just sitting on the proverbial time bomb. Mom seems to be declining at an alarming pace. Maybe it's just me and my now over active imagination. She had a rough night so I'm letting her sleep in and stay warm... I'm in such a "high alert" mode that I swear I heard her say something to me a few minutes ago. Loud and clear I heard "can I come out now"? I jumped up, went to her room and she's sleeping. I heard it though, it was her voice and her way of talking. She's too wobbly in the mornings to get up out of bed on her own, so she starts talking to me or whomever... which let's me know she's awake, or the dog will come get me.

Do I need to go through her doctor for hospice? At our last visit he scheduled her for a 2 month check up vs the normal 1 month? The thing with hospice is I worry they'll change her meds or give her too much dopey stuff. Then I read where it's difficult to get an AD patient on hospice, something about "failure to thrive" mimics AD symptoms . If my head doesn't explode... perhaps living in a cave wouldn't be all that bad.
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Ff, my in-laws had to deal with this same thing, except I think they had to shop for an entirely new health insurance policy. They live across the country from my husband and me, they're in their 80's. My MIL is still sharp, my FIL is no longer so good at understanding these things, which are complicated and frustrating for anyone to deal with. Luckily, my SIL lives nearby and she was able to assist them. It's a really lousy thing to dump on this population--expecting them to just figure it all out. I'm sure so many fall through the cracks, if they don't have someone looking out for them.
If I were in your place, I'd be sneaking behind my father's back, signing him up for coverage! Yes, I would sign his name and everything. At this point, I wouldn't care.
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I need to put added cushioning inside my helmet for this.....

My parents no longer have Rx insurance because Dad's employer's retirement fund has changed.... Dad needs to sign up with a Rx insurance and pay the monthly premium. Dad doesn't like that idea and doesn't want to sign up.... he and Mom were spoiled by all those years of the retirement fund paying for those premiums.

So, Dad new doctor said Dad needs his blood pressure pills because Dad said he was getting chest pain.... ok, took the Rx prescription to a pharmacy, it was paid out of pocket, over $100 for 30 days worth of pills. Dad wasn't a happy camper about that, wanted to return the pills until Mom talked some sense into him that he NEEDS to take the pills.

Dad thought the $100 was outrageous.... well, Dad, welcome to how the rest of the world lives.... $100 is actually cheap compared to the cost of other blood pressure pills. My blood pressure pills would be a lot more if I paid out of pocket.

I am hoping when I call my parents this afternoon that Dad was able to sign up. I am afraid with all the dragging of his feet on this, he had missed the final dead-in to sign up. At least he was able to get their secondary health insurance which he grumbled about because he now has to pay a monthly premium.

Wish when companies change over their health insurance policies that they take into consideration that there are many elders on their retiree list and all this is so very confusing to them. Why not assign an advocate to help.
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katie ,
when were young we think there will ineviably come a time in our lives where we will be a little more secure . looking back on my life ( age 56 ) all i see are one body slam after another and im sure they will continue . lifes been good , im not fussing , but i dont expect it to ever be worry free .
i think i was wrong about that snow melt earlier . it looks more like 5 - 8 inches of snow tonight with only a slight rise in temps tomorrow , then back to the teens .
( damnt )
hope ,
all anyone needs is a little shack after theyre kids are raised . im the guy who owns one fork so i can attest to that minimalist concept . i live in my 8 x 24 foot basement bunker and have never felt more unburdened . if it werent for liking ice in my cold drinks id probably throw the fridge out .
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Katie...I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand..it seems like difficult news always happens in bunches...praying for comfort and strength for you and your husband as well as your Mom..It does get so overwhelming...(((hugs)))
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Day started out bad. After two and a half years of good checkups after a heart procedure, my husband went into A-Fib again. Doctor thinks it may have been from the extreme cold coming out of work last night. I just did not need this news with all that has gone on with Mom since last summer. Every week I have bad news. Maybe I just need a good cry and to pull myself up by the boot straps yet again. I feel like I have been in a hurricane or a tornado that has been spinning out of control for nearly 9 months now and the storm just won't stop so I can pick up the pieces...
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I'll bet you're a good guy to work with Captain..in the future, while I have no idea what mine holds as I know none of us do, I am leaning towards doing something different the next chapter of my life. I have spent all my life in more of a business environment, legal, insurance and such, but of all things in life of all things, business is something I am not crazy about...thankfully i was out and about on the road most of the time as well, so that made it more bearable, but I love construction, landscaping and design, so I think I'm going to reinvent myself....when my home was sold.....there were so many liens on it by the time due to all the financial things we had going on here that all those liens got paid off and so all those obligations are GONE...I love it...so even though it wasn't the way I'd want to do it...most all the debts are gone and if there's one thing I grew up knowing and especially the last few years have confirmed, I require very very little to be happy. I have also confirmed that i am extremely innovative and a survivor...always knew I was a survivor but wow, now I surely know it..and I'm thinking there's all kinds of things I can get into that I will actually enjoy and that will pay enough to keep me rolling....got my truck going again now and I feel like Daddy is riding along with me everytime I go somewhere....I'm going to be redoing the interior myself and will need some help with the body work...and again, maybe not...it will be a fun project and I will feel my Daddy smiling at me all the way....

Mama seems better this morning...seems to be resting a lot better and has had her breakfast and it has stayed down...thank you God for once again bringing her through yet another bug.....

Cold, cold, cold...did I say cold?? seems it is getting even colder and now I see snow clouds heading this way....I am a real nutcase about liking to have the yard raked totally clean before a pretty snow, but I lasted all of ten minutes out there and decided the snow will fall whether I rake the yard or not...way too cold to be out there, especially since I feel a possible sinus infection coming on..time to get my salt water and medicine dropper going...that always works....
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heavy snow expected in indiana tonight but turning to rain tomorrow to melt it all . thats the pattern of springtime i wanna see .
gonna be a fun year . my current customer is a genius with interior and exterior design . the neatest stone projects ive ever built can be found at his previous home and ill give him 98 % of the credit for the design of said projects . i only added a teak or two .
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So far so good here today. God Mama's bath all done and everyone is gone for the day so now just waiting to see how far south the ice and sleet and possibly snow moves...they have extended the watch area..we were already in it but now we're in it for sure...
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attn ; govt ,
dont get a big head . a slightly less risk to us than a criminal isnt all that big of compliment .
from,
you know who and you know where ..
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I'm always amazed at how folks who have the knowledge to do all the things required to hack, scam and spam don't just use all that skill for a high paying job..there is so much need for those types in the workforce..why would anyone want to waste it just for the apparent purpose of irritating people or trying to take what is someone elses.. never made sense to me either cmagnum
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a really halfa**ed spambot imo . the web is getting scary what with facial recognition and digitally reconstructed video . a person could be fingered in a bank heist two town over without leaving his chair or have his computer filled with illegal data .
i always read the news to determine how far satellite surveilance is progressing . in a recent news clip i saw that drones patrol the border by flying back and forth and looking for changes in the landscape such as a broken twig or a footprint . it doesnt really scare me but it should cause criminals some sleepless nights . im not condoning such an intrusive situation but its hard to denounce too when i feel criminals are a bigger threat to me / us than govt .
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This one person has viciously attacked this site with the most spam that I've ever seen on multiple threads! So many, that I ended up just reporting them to AC rather than go to each thread individually. Why do these people do this? What a waste of time!
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Sorry Capt I wouldn't guarentee anything these days at the VA or anywhere else. The scope for the endoscopy is smaller than the colonoscopy. When you are having both they usually do the top end first.
They have stopped using the ones in question now so everyone should be safe. Just another feast for the lawyers!!!!!!!!
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I decided I didn't have any errands to run today and didn't really want to because it's so freaking cold out, but I was having a fit to drive my little truck so I just put my coat on over my loungewear and away I went..just drove up and down the highway for about 20 minutes then back home. And I am so excited. It drives like a dream now. I think they even washed it for me...That place is awesome..Young guy who has been working with his Dad since he was 8 yrs old...so he knows all the ins and outs of vehicles...When you find one like that, imo it is better than all the fancy a$$ shops combined....I think my brother was shocked I just got it handled and didn't bug him with any of it...so happy and proud to boot!
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i didnt want to starve all night last for my last procedure so i drank two cans of clear chicken boullion while i was up all night . probably wasnt supposed to but i never heard any fuss about it .
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thanks, cap....not really trying to manage her life, just trying to make sure she doesn't put her children in harm's way. But at this point, all I can do is sit back and watch, because she's determined to go her own way. I'm sure all the other moms here can identify with my concern for the grandbabies. They don't have a choice in the situation - they get dragged along for whatever wild ride she decides to take them on.
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i hope the va dont use the same scope for colonoscopy and endoscopies . just one more thing for me to worry about now ..
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It's been over 10 years since my last colonoscopy.... I was able to mix the prep with Gatorade, and ever since then I haven't been able to drink Gatorade ever since :P

Back then I could roll the TV, with rabbit ears, to the bathroom so I could watch TV while I [ahem] wait. Guess with today's technology one can bring with them their iPad.

I need to schedule another one but I keep putting it off as my parents are getting older. I keep saying "next year", every year.
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susan,
imo you not only have to let em go but theres times you have to give em a shove . my youngest kid has for years thought that me and my little business existed solely to make sure he stayed high . i lost my sh*t with him over a year ago and hes went uphill ever since . good engine building job and his own apartment . if i get one email from him a year its ok with me . you cant manage their lives for them and wouldnt be doing them any favors if you did .
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