I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
At least in our area funeral homes do not have their own crematoria. Also they mostly don't have refrigeration facilities. That is the reason they push for embalming so quickly.
the primary carer will feel relief ( for the patients sake ) and shock that they lived thru it . everybody else will have chicken and pie . ive not felt any real grief because i was there as mom lost her QOL and health day by day .
jeanette,
smoking chimneys sound pretty middle aged . our funeral parlors dont have chimney that i know of . they probably haul the bodys to the indianapolis trash incinerator and buy bags of organic ashes to fill urns with . after all ( imo ) the funeral business is a faith / fear/ profit type industry. id be fine with being cremated , it just seems silly to burn up more of the planets resources even as your leaving it . ditto gas guzzling funeral processions .
im not joking about a green burial at home . i dont care to ever leave here . for me this is " home " . if you hacked out a clearing and built the home yourself youd probably feel the same . if not a green burial at least id like my ashes left here , maybe in a bag of mortar or a poured stoop . this home is a symbol of a dad and his kid getting back up after a terrible smackdown and starting over . it means more to me than the first one . the first one has an aura of deciet and spousal betrayal to me .
Yesterday I was talking with my sister about mother, and her prognosis, and the practicalities when she passes; and thinking aloud I said I'd have a bumpy ride for a while figuring out what on earth to do with myself. She said, right out, "but won't you be relieved?"
Er… Well, kind of. But not really.
Will she be, I wonder?
They do not allow green burials here... not for humans or pets. We took dad way up into the forest and sprinkled him around a tree. Tacked his pic with is 3 bucks along with his obituary. Shy of 2 years later he's still there... the flowers although long dead can still be seen in the branches of the tree.
Is this healthy talking/typing about this?
if i could get my wishes the furthest im going is a green burial in my own little orchard . the only thing ill need for the afterlife is a sump pump and some worm repellant .
green burial is legal in indiana with the proper permit .
one thing for sure , i dont want a funeral industry profitting from my death , and cremation takes an assload of natural gas to completely burn you up . neither of those things are in concert with nature .
this little house is a miniature castle . on the next hilltop about a mile away sits my first castle themed home . theyre both bitchin but id be happy to be put in the ground on this place . i deserve to be , i built it .
Sally, wow, you made a valid point. All carer's need to keep themselves in shape, however hard it is, we just do. Mentally, physically and spiritually.
Ha, you know I'm just trying to convince myself.
Cap, it's my wish you find a nice gal whom will truly appreciate the beauty you have inside, as well as love geocaching just to make your a** go :) Team Player!
it takes a lot of time to put your own life back together after your parent passes . i just tried laying down for a while and my brain started ' time - lining ' my last few years and my moms last years and months . i can relate to where your at right now . the sorry a** siblings , losing your parent before theyre even gone , the isolation , a very intense part of your life . im a year and 1/2 post and id go back and do it again . ( caregiving )
im content and feel like my life has nearly gone full circle . whatever years i have left are mine to do what i want -- but probably not geocatching . probably continue working on my house . thats when im happy , when something is being built . i aint gonna clean the sob but i love building them .
Geocaching is fun if you like fun puzzles. Oh they do at times give you clues and not just the coordinates. You'd be surprised how many cache's are hid in Wal-Mart parking lots in those big light poles, under Postal bins, up a high tree (my fav) and in plain sight. Some I'm sure you've seen before but never knew what was hidden in that odd looing spot. Yes... I think I shall print up a bunch, find a inexpensive GPS (can I use my IPhone for a GPS)? This is my goal tomorrow since my carer can't come ... I will do it Friday and Sunday. Then till in the evenings before dark. We do have some more cold weather on it's way laterrrr next week so I might as well get a head start. Be productive. Shed my inner slug ya know?
Sitting on a bomb? Oh h*ll yes... either our mother dying or us. Tic toc
Katie....the teenage drive in monster movies from the 50's...that's pretty much an accurate description today...It has just been one of those days where I feel like I am going to blow a gasket...only this time it won't be on my truck or car...
Speaking of which...yeee haaa.....the man called and asked if he could bring me my truck...I said...oh, I hate for you to have to do that...(smiling to self here) then he brought it and so all handled!!!! woooo wooot
Jeanette, speaking for me only here, the worse Mama gets the more withdrawn I am too. and it is hard to figure but I just feel flat emotionally...flat flat flat. I have come to learn that Mama is probably going to only be saying one or two words a week at most...it is killing me...sometimes it feels like watching her pass over and over and over and I feel a little like I am losing my mind....and then she perks up and I hit the reset button and then it starts all over again.....
It's all part of it, I know..I'm not complaining, I promise, but it is so hard...I feel like I am sitting on a bomb.
GPS. That would put it to good use!!!!!!!!!!! Not in this weather though.
Now I am waiting for Dad to straighten out his Rx mail order pharmacy as it's a new one. It's been 3 weeks and Dad is still messing with it. Of course we kept telling Dad not to wait until the Rx bottle is empty before he re-orders, but sure enough he did.... and we kept telling Dad to use the automatic re-order that the company had offered, but he never did. He's been without one Rx now for 3 weeks. I got his prescriptions from the new doctor, all I need is Dad's Rx card to show to the store front pharmacy.... Dad doesn't have such a card. Where's my helmet !!!
It is almost too cold to do any laundry here as I am afraid the drain will freeze and then the water backs up after it drains from the washer onto the laundry room floor....This happened last year. Hoping no disasters will require washing....
Jeanette...that sounds like a fun thing to do....I had never heard of it before...interesting!
I've noticed the worse mom get's the more withdrawn from the world I am? Wonder why. Now is when I need people the most yet I seem to just keep quiet and to myself. Sigh.
You'll enjoy a little tiller hope! perfect for little area where you want to plant flowers, perfect for larger garden areas!! I may just plant double this year.
I've got your weather and apparently you guys get mine!
Susan, once your mom starts wearing her depends the correct way/at all, the laundry will lessen. Other things will increase so it's always a trade off :/
Today has been exasperating...can't find anyone to take me and get my truck...so i guess if he wants his money he will find a way to bring it here (which my hospice informs me she knows he could do if he wanted to) otherwise it will have to stay there until I grab one of my pop in people and put them to work...
Mama has picked up a stomach bug and so it has been laundry day all day long...throw up after throw up after throw up...and even though I keep those disposable pads handy, she always seems to manage to do it where it hits a spot where it is not....I am kind of undone....she was running a slight fever this am, so I guess it was a bug after all.......I am not feeling that great myself by now....
My boss dresses to the nines every day at the office. Dark suit, four pointed handkerchief in top pocket of his suit jacket, pressed shirt, smart looking tie, polished shoes, not one hair out of place, etc.....
Therefore I feel I have to also look the part. But at my age I had to pass on wearing heels, thus with the what I call "nun shoes" those shoes don't look good with skirts, so I wear trousers.
At home, forgetaboutit, jeans and t-shirts.
Oh hey, I did get a rototiller yesterday, kind of awesome how it all happened. I was doing the circle of 3 stores comparing prices/machines... actually looking for a nice li'l electric one. Stopped by the last store and saw the man who used to do moms hair. Him and his wife own a salon here and once upon a time i'd take her for a special day, the wife did my hair, he did moms. Now this is a big stocky muscly guy... he would flirt with mom and have her grinning from ear to ear, hehe, mom always conned him into giving her a glass of wine while getting her hair done.... anywho, Spencer walks out of the store, he asks about mom and eventually we start talking about tillers... gas vs electric, yada yada... well, he had one that he used once (something about clearing a patch for the wild turkeys) and it's been in his shed for a year... it's gas driven, weighs about 10 lbs, weeds n tills and is a very spendy tiller. He sold it to me for mere dollars of what it's worth. Brought it to the house for us, gave me the gas can for it full of gas and a tutorial (plus the owners manual) This is one of the reasons I love a small town. Virtual strangers are more loving/caring than your own siblings ... he also got a toofless smile out of mom again.
Over the past 2 years I have been slowly buying every thing needed to do everything myself without asking for help. Chainsaw, battery charger, small compressor, shop vac, pressure washer, portable A/C unit, ladders, rug cleaner... things that I can handle on my own to do what needs done. Without paying or relying on someone. Craigslist is wonderful in that area... also our small town has a FB page where people can list items needed or for sale. All I need is my indoor swimming pool :D
I could care less right now what I look like!! LOL!! Like most of us, by the time we take care of everyone else we are too tired to make much of an effort to pretty ourselves up. I was kind of ashamed to see the salon guy yesterday though... stress has frizzy fried my hair. Oh well. Pony tails and t-shirts are a girls best friend.