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Frequent, yes, you are right, males will roam...apparently even neutered ones...because he has been neutered for some time...but he sure wasn't on the premises here...I am just so happy....and so relieved!!
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My baby is home!!! My baby is home!!!! He just came home a few minutes ago!!! He appears fine and no worse for the wear and just as you said Country...wondering what all the fuss is about.. lol...I am so happy...I have been literally physically sick all day and all last night...I feel like I can finally breathe again!! So now they are all in nice and safe and cozy!!! I am so thankful..Got Mama tucked in nice and cozy and I feel like I may actually be able to sleep now!!!! Thank you all for caring about my baby...He means so much to me....
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Hope, any sign of your tiger yet? In my experience, they do this every so often to make sure you're paying attention - he'll saunter in when he's good and ready and pretend he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. Big hugs, it's horrible not knowing what they're up to.
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i am sick of all this crappy "sorta snow" we are getting, another 2 hour drive home tonight.. This time Bmore was decent, but the highway was crap! On weekends and holidays they just don;t plow or salt... HELLO!! Some of us still work, and we need to get to and from work too... maybe to save your life! I am very happy I'm off the next few days... With Dad in MC I can sleep in a bit!!
He is sleeping alot more, and was still eating lunch when Hubs and Mom went to visit.. but that;s ok, he was eating at least!
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drains arent needed if the gradework is right , dee . sure hate to see you spend thousands in the wrong direction . find yourself an old mason for water mgmt advice . hes the guy who has spent a lifetime repairing things damaged by water .
for instance ; if you take me in the basement to look at water problems , im going right back outside to look at your lawn . often the driveway is too high from years of added crushed stone , essentially making your house lower .
you got my attention earlier because this is the only subject in the world that i actually DO know something about . lol
ive got to find something to do for about the next 10 days cause its too cold to work and ill probably put off washing the beef blood out of the bottom of the fridge till the 10th day . i just simply defy everything that society expects of a person -- because i can ..
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Thanks captain. I've got lots of water traps at entire perimeter. Had estimates averaging 8g to install interior drain pipe, double that to excavate and install exterior. The house obviously needs lots of work. Ugh.
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Hope, I can understand your feelings hoping and searching for your cat. I would be out looking, too. The vet told me that the male cats will wander, they can go all over the neighborhood, and not unusual for them to be gone for many days. I know my male cat would follow anything on four legs... even befriend a skunk.

I have a wildlife camera on my porch 24/7 [they are water proof], and I every now and then it will snap a photo of a cat, late at night, and all of them are male cats. All well cared for and well fed. Even when it is quite cold outside, these guys want to roam. Our porch is just a point of interest for them.
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dee,
if your getting water in the basement its because your gradework isnt right , has nothing to do with the integrity of the walls . its all about water management outside . the house should sit on a knoll , channeling the water into the driveway then into the street . gradework is best visualized by standing in the street and looking upwards . low spots are water traps .
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Thanks 57...this is the very kitty I had been bragging about just a couple of days ago...He is a big old fat tabby boy and he is just an absolute joy...I am heartbroken. I had to go pick up one of Mama's prescriptions this afternoon, so on the way I decided to make the big loop and ran by the shelter and took my pictures with me..even though I had already emailed them to them, sometimes they don't even read the email for a couple of days..so I checked out all the cats, and that always breaks my heart...but no baby...then I came home and it has poured down icy rain all day but I put on my heavy coat again and got my unbrella and went down through the woods...My coat, my shoes, me and every thing else got soaking wet, but at least I don't think he's down there hurt or something..I had to try..I am not going to give up and am just hoping he has decided to take a break from me, in reality I know he would never leave me...I am physically sick....but I guess I'm doing all I can for now. I will get my little flyers printed out and get them through the neighborhood tomorrow hopefully...maybe he'll be back before then....thank you all for caring...
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Hope I sure hope your kitty turns up. Having 6 myself I keep close tabs on them but it's too cold to let out and if they do go out they either sit in garage or wander about 10 feet away and come back. I have a well not now but about 11 years ago I had him arrested for shooting my cats. He was convicted on a misdemeanor animal cruelty charge and had learned his lesson as everything has been good.
Stopped in for a few minutes to see dad. For some reason he doesn't want to participate in the planned activities. Ack!
But my real whine is I have this rash? On part of my face that comes and goes. Gets real itchy and then burns. Doc did not want to prescribe anything but acted up again Saturday morning. Will get a message tomorrow to my doc for something as the OTC Cortaid and calamine lotion isn't working.
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I knew there had to be a forum for nursing homes on this website...found it...https://www.agingcare.com/articles/nursing-home-bullying-174743.htm
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Another article in the Times, this time "A Facility Bingo Call: You Can't Play" (Google ) I can understand why independent living wouldn't want to play with dementia patients, but as the levels go downward, one would believe it would be different. Article goes on to state that when neighbors start showing signs of dementia, they want to separate themselves (i'm talking about assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing)...

And this is apparently what I see when I play Bingo with my mother. The arguments are ridiculous.
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Had to cancel two doctor appointment for Mom today. First one was the dentist as she didn't want to go because she wouldn't be able to hear the dentist [her hearing aids no longer work].... ok, I could understand her frustration on that.

The second appointment was to the hearing aid place... decided it would make better sense for me to take only the hearing aid to the office, Mom didn't need to go... plus it was suppose to snow big time later in the afternoon during her appointment. Once I returned to my parents house [stopped at Whole Foods and got them some organic products they like], Mom asked where was her hearing aid.... for some reason she thought the hearing aid place made the hearing aids onsite, thus had fixed it or would give her a replacement right then or there..... [sigh, I wished it was that easy].
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Susan, that's pretty brave of you! No kidding. I have to tell you, I'm afraid of saws, even little ones. I make myself use a belt sander to sand down the outside of my house when I need to repaint it. The first time my (late) brother taught me to use the sander, he warned me about the kick when it touches wood...yeah...something you really have to learn from experience...yes, I almost lost my footing. I call it the bondo house because no kidding I must use at least a gallon of the stuff filling the pits and everything. 15 years ago my nice neighbor was going to be good to me and used a power sander thing - blew chunks of wood out everywhere he pointed it - even off the railings. Looked like my house was hit with a machine gun. It was nice of him to try - he used to help me with a lot stuff before he moved - but it created a lot more work for me. Still can't keep paint on the darn house. I have to get out there with a belt sander every 2 years and sand it down, fill it, prime it and repaint it - always bakes right off the south side of the house (the blacktop driveway's on that side, so yeah, realllly heats up!). The next summer it looks like crap again. I think the only thing holding up the house at this point is the bondo and 20 layers of paint. Good thing it's a small ranch home. Concrete block basement leaks, too. Still has the 1956 original single-pane "windows" - only thing holding them in are the glazing points...the putty keeps drying up and popping off. So, I'll be hauling Mom over there every weekend this summer, til my son and I can get it done. Also have to paint the fence. Can't afford siding or new windows. I do like to work on stuff like that, though. And the gardens. I work til I'm so sore and stiff I can't move. Feels good in a weird way. And I like the feeling of accomplishment.
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Thanks Susan and Litldog....thank you...I have been posting pictures and calling the shelters and updating social media with good pictures of him in hopes someone will let me know where he is and if they took him in let him come home...he never leaves our yard except when he goes down in the woods sometimes (rarely) and that property and my horrid neighbor who stole one of my cats property joins and I can't help it, I am so afraid they did something with him...The more time that passes, the sicker I get...I have had cats leave a couple of days, even as many as four and return, so I'm hoping he will come home, but it is just not like him to do this..ever....I won't give up and will continue to look for him..and have to remember that God sees him even now and knows his situation and I will pray he is safe and returns home soon.
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goin to visit my aunt . it does me more good than it does her . ill take my hair scissors , see how many people we can piss off ..
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i read a news article this am about the winter blah's and im glad i read it . it confirms that the mild depression im feeling is perfectly normal . theres plenty of things around here i could be doing but as soon as the weather breaks ill be back to working like a borrowed mule . sometimes resting is a good thing , it just makes ya feel so useless ..
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Decided to dive into household projects to try to head off the blues I see headed my way. Dug through the snow to the garage (a job in itself), then dug my way through the garage to the power table saw (another job!), covered my face and plugged it in. I covered my face because none of the power tools in Dad's garage have seen the light of day or a power outlet in about 20 years, and in all that time in an unheated/uncooled garage with no insulation, infested with God knows what kind of critters, who knows what could happen? I had horrid visions of the saw blade flying off at me, the pulley breaking and flying at me, etc. (This is an OLD saw, with a little mini motor-thingie (compressor?) mounted to the table beside it, which operates the pulley and the pulley operates the saw!)

I cut the 6' long boards down to 54", located Dad's power palm sander and sanded the cut ends, then brought them back in the house. Thinking of varnishing or painting them, then they'll be shelves above the big picture windows in the living room for Mom's knick-knacks.

Feeling pretty accomplished just with having done that. :-)
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Hope, prayers that your kitty comes home soon!
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78 blizzard.
i was home for the entire month of feb on what was my only leave from 3 yrs in germany . ( soldier ) my dad said if i couldnt attend his excruciating church / cult then i couldnt use his truck . i told him i didnt ask to use his truck to begin with and he could cram it . it isnt hard to hitch hike around the county when only 4 wds are on the road and theyre only traveling at 20 mph . it seems trivial now but at the time i had the miserable military life on one side of me and my dads closedminded tyranny on the other . it wasnt to be our last headbutting contest by any means . my sons dont yet realize how good they had it . the only rule in our home was " just be nice and dont tell lies " . poor saps didnt even have anything to rebel against .
my youngest at age 12 was awful curious about my cigars . he was working with us and making money like an adult so i told him if he wanted a cigar , get himself a cigar . he smoked about a half a dozen puffs from it and has never used tobacco since . it didnt make him sick , he just didnt care for it .
maybe i learned that parenting trick in germany . cold beer was available in vending machines so clearly any kid with 2 DM could buy one yet you didnt see kids and teens binge drinking . i was rather ' culture shocked ' one time at a hanau street fest tho . saw a couple of young guys about 8 yrs old walking around chatting giddily and sharing a rather large bottle of wine . no one was paying them the least bit of attention .
snowing outside , very cold . im sitting here trying to put together a ' themed ' reason to go visit my aunt today . took her a goodwill sweater yesterday and she asked me to trim her bangs . that didnt go over well with pia last time but now shes too broke for the 20 dollar nh haircut so i dont expect to hear much flak from her .
na na na NA !!
hope pia dies , and it dont take lo-ong .
i hope she dies , ' fore i end this so - oongg ..
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Hope, I'm keeping a good thought in mind for your kitty. A neighbor lady came by a couple of days ago looking for hers - he had gotten out and it was bitterly cold that day. I hope he made it back - she's not entirely "all there" mentally, and she was out slogging through the wind and snow looking for him. I could see her doing that all day if someone didn't stop her.

I drove past a house last night when the wind chills were in the sub-zero territory, and there was a dog chained up by the door to the house, lifting one foot after the other off the snow and looking absolutely miserable. I wanted to stop and take him off the chain and take him home with me. :-( (I did call our local animal control office about it - they wouldn't do anything about it - said the animal had to be outside for more than 24 hours before they would step in. Poor creature would be dead by then in this weather.)

Mom is being stubborn as hell today. I love her to pieces, but it's a good thing that all days are not like today, or I'd lose my mind completely. She wanted cereal for breakfast. I tried to get her to eat some protein with it, but she refused. 20 minutes later, she's saying, "I'm still hungry. Cereal just doesn't stick with me!" So I'm making 2 breakfasts instead of one - this time, scrambled eggs with ham & cheese in them. I'm going to toss all the cereal out - she wants it, but then wants something else, because it doesn't fill her up. And she loads it with sugar when she eats it. Real healthy stuff. I just won't keep it in the house anymore.

Got up out of her chair to take yet another nap, and refused to go to the bathroom. Laid down, and popped back up like a ping pong ball 5 MINUTES LATER, saying "I gotta pee!". I couldn't help it...I looked at her and said, "Well, of course you have to, because you wouldn't go when I asked you to 5 minutes ago!!" Then I felt bad, because she gave me a wounded, confused look. (sigh) Followed her to the bathroom this time, not giving her time to yank her undies back up before I got in there, got everything changed and she laid back down again. She's snoozing away now, and I'm hoping for at least 20 minutes of peace before the next round of battles starts.
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@Hope - Awful about the cat! Hopefully s/he's returned. S/he may be just 'hibernating' to keep herself warm in this horrid weather. Boston has seen over 7.5 feet (thankfully, I'm just freezing in FL, but I've been there, done that...anyone remember the Blizzard of '78?) I'd just moved into a 'new' house (which was really old). I was alone with two babies and a heating system that literally banged- on, making all kinds of monster noises (I hadn't even had the courage to go into the cellar at that point) so I imagined all sorts of things. And my hubby was a first responder so he wasn't home at all, at times hitching a ride with other vehicles to get to work the first time -- which amounted to about a week gone from home) The downside of which is having to fend for ones self. And I knew no one in the neighborhood...it was all snowed in!

My son (another first responder!) says the majority of the roads are impassible for e-vehicles) Firefighters have had to get off the trucks, walk down streets to respond to alarms, which isn't good. Hydrants are buried which means they're out now shoveling. Ambulances cannot get through.

Back to your cat - I know when mine disappeared over a heat wave one summer, we lived in a heavily wooded area, but she returned in a few days as if nothing ever happened. I was mortified because she was a house cat, declawed.

In our 'business' that of caregiver, we can't always be thinking of everything. Don't beat yourself up.
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Yes, and I am keeping an eye on their house too..he is a very street smart kitty too, so I don't suspect that any wildlife has gotten him...I thought he might have gotten in their garage and gone to sleep, but so far no show....I appreciate yall caring about him...I am literally physically sick over the slightest thought of losing him...he has been a comfort and Godsend to me with his funny tubby self....praying to see him come rolling up soon.....
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Hope did you check the neighbors house where he used to live. He may have a cozy spot he knows how to get into. One of my strays used to disappear for days on end.
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Hope, got my fingers crossed that your cat comes back soon!
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@Loo Loo - no mail! OMG, my mother would go nuts if nothing came through the door slot! I'd have to keep telling her it was a holiday!

Anyway, my main reason for coming here is not a whine...it's something I just read (I'm a bit slow to the party and it's probably been talked about before somewhere on this site, but it seems many come here to vent so I'll post it here....there's an article in the New York Times titled: Government Will Change How it Rates Nursing Homes.

All I can say is Yay..while they are 'improving' they still have a way to go.

Have a nice President's Day...
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Well, the snow that was predicted instead is only cold icy feeling rain...and one of my favorite cats is missing...why do they always seem to do this when the weather is bad??? He was on the deck yesterday around 10:00 AM, and since it was a sunny day I let them stay out for a while..which they wanted to do anyway...after my brother left, they started wanting to come in..by then it was around 3:00PM...and he was not there...at first didn't think much of it, but when it began to get really chilled, I started looking...and looking and was still looking on into the night..he never stays out in this kind of cold now that he knows he has a home...I am so upset....he was the one taht the neighbor abandoned last year and he took up with me, and I love him so much....this horrid weather is not helping. I have been down through the woods, the garage, the basement...can't find him anyway..praying he decided to go off on a lark and will return soon...I don't fear the wildlife during the time of day he went missing....we have a couple of jerky neighbors who have pets but don't care for anyone else's...even though theirs come here and eat my cats food..I don't care...I love them all...but I am so worried...

At least Mama is having a good morning. She has had a good breakfast, had a good bath and now back to sleep and looks so cozy I'd like to pile in there with her...So going to be positive and thankful that Mama is doing well...and hopefully soon my big boy will come home...

Jeanette send some of that weather this way please...

Susan..just when I compose myself you manage to say something that cracks me up again...the lifting of the buttocks to let it rip...hahaha...reminds me of what my Grandmother used to say in her very old age..."feels better out than it does in"....bless their hearts...and one day it will be us.... :(
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Friday evening, my brother (no real relationship, hardly any contact, but we're civil) left me a voice mail, saying that he wanted to 'ask me a favor.' Last time I heard from him (aside from one message around the holidays just letting me know his new phone number), he also wanted to 'ask me a favor.' The only favor is that he wants money. I explained to him last time that he should ask our mother, since I felt that although she could no longer handle her daily money management, she could make a decision like whether or not to give him money. He decided not to ask her, and said he'd be fine.
Anyway, I called him back and he said that he was on his way to our mother's house to get a check for five thousand. He then explained the latest chaos/crisis going on with him. I said thanks for letting me know, and if our mother was ok with it, then I've got no problem with it. Take care, yadda yadda yadda. As the dementia progresses, I won't have that same opinion. Even now, I can tell by the charities she donates to that she has no idea who she's giving her money to.
I'm not angry, just...ready to be done with the family b.s. My brother of course, didn't ask me one question about my life, offered a faux-apology about not being in touch more (which is a blessing, actually), and that was it. The next time I hear from him will be the next time he needs money again.
It didn't dawn on me until yesterday, while I was replaying the conversation in my head, that he lied to me when he asked for money the first time, about 6 months ago. He made up some story about his MIL ALSO having dementia, among other problems, and I wondered how likely it was, but didn't press for details. He didn't keep the first story straight with the one he gave me on Friday, and I deduced that she does not have dementia. She's just nuts.
Yep...definitely ready to be done with the whole "family" thing...
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Today in the states it's a holiday for many. The banks are closed, and we won't be getting mail. Yay, instant day off for me, from having to deal with a few "mom" related things! I wasn't able to get any doctor appointment scheduled for her last week, so will try again tomorrow. It is what it is.
Susan, I know if my mother does have to have surgery, we'll need to make arrangements for her for the night before, so that she doesn't eat/drink. All these logistics won't stop running through my head...
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Ugh...just not up for fighting the battle today. Mom had an appt. for a med checkup today at 9am. Told her about it last night, reminded her not to eat or drink anything but water after midnight. 11:55 pm and she's asking for something to eat. Reminded her again that she couldn't eat. Confirmed again that she would still be going in the morning to the doc appt (because it's extremely cold out right now) - yup, she wanted to get it over with. I get out of bed this morning to start rushing around, and she's changed her mind. Not going. (sigh) Reschedule appt and start my day. Get her breakfast and she heads for a nap afterwards - which I interrupt by insisting she go to the bathroom. 30 seconds after she gets in there, I go to check and make sure she's changing her pad, etc - and she's already pulling up her undies and headed out the door, tells me her pad is "fine". (right....guarantee you didn't even look at it) and no stopping her, she pushes past me and heads for the bed.

Going to be a wonderful day. I can just see it already.
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