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And the heavens opened and the angels rejoiced. Shower finally accomplished. I have a poopy washcloth to prove it (ick) but at least she let me help her wash up this time. (Actually, it wasn't so much that she let me, more like I just marched in and said, "How about I wash your back for you?" and worked my way lower.) I don't care how I had to accomplish it, it's done.

I hope to God she doesn't continue resisting showers like this after I spend $1200 on getting the tub cut down and the shower surround replaced.....she won't have any excuse about how hard it is to get in the tub then. Somehow, though, I think the battle will continue.
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It seems Mama has picked up a head cold from someone...so now we have the nasal congestion to deal with..and hopefully that is all it is so I got some of the Tylenol for severe congestion as the liquid makes Mama throw up so got the capsules only to get home and find they are not supposed to be crushed or dissolved...so we go about the whole deal of trying to get them down without her chewing them which is pretty much impossible now..She used to easily take any kind of pill but that ability went along with the eating anything other than Ensure...Well, I tried, but she promptly crammed them in her cheeks..tried one at a time, she first started to chew it then just tucked it in her cheek and finally started spilling it out...I just mashed it up and put it in a little water and let her chase it with a glass full of water. Probably not as effective but that was the only way to get it down her...I hope that was ok...I was feeling SusanA's pain about this time because of the frustration in trying to get her to understand and we are well beyond every getting her to understand things like this now...

Susan, if your Mama was like mine, she was always so fasitdious about the home, her clothes, her appearance , my appearance, etc. everything clean, clean, clean...to the point of being totally sanitized..it is so hard seeing them get a point where they don't care about hygiene or anything else anyone associated with that....I know she would want to continue to be clean and so I continue to try, but it is so hard when you meet flack all along the way....and the frustration level ramps up to that decibel where once again, the whole idea of throwing myself over the back deck railing seems like a good choice....
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Susan it took me at least half an hour to get my brother's birthday card signed this afternoon. Actually, I'm pretty proud of mother's being able to put pen to paper at all, bless her; but ohmygod talk about pulling teeth - ! I chose the card because I thought it was amusing and apt, about how great it was to have a son who explained techie things even if his parent still didn't know what he was talking about. Wish I'd just got one with a picture of a car on it. Or a glass of beer. Or anything that didn't have to be read aloud, not to mention argued with, five times over. Then she couldn't angle the pen on the overbed table - hunt around for something to rest it on on her knee. Then she couldn't see where to sign. Ok, X marks the spot. Then a long pause broken only by her saying, several times, she was just going to put "ts of l, M" and that would have to be okay because that was what she always put. I agree. More pauses. Then just as I am about to burst into tears and the HCA arrives to see to her, mother launches into action - nowhere near X, but I'm long past caring - and keeps us both holding our breath. Hurrah!!! Mission accomplished. Then I have to take dictation for a further five minutes while she decides what he's to buy himself for his present (he won't, but I wasn't going to tell her that, now was I?).

Ts of l, by the way, stands for tons of love. It's the thought that counts.
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Who's been gagging whom, CMag?

See also one Monsieur Dieudonné in France. I may not agree with what he says (in fact don't start me) but I will defend his right to say it - though possibly not to the death. What amuses me is the logical knots all our Great and Good are tying themselves into condemning him.

Life is just never as simple as we'd like it to be, is it?!
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Well, I am definitely upset for I misspelled America as American! Oh well, this is just not my day! Maybe I can do somethings to make it a better day.
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My whine moment for today concerns people who forget that this is still American and we do still have free speech which means if we have an opinion on something we can voice it and if someone else has a different opinion on the same thing they can say that to, but we can't tell the other person to shut up because we don't like what they said.
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Exactly, Hope! You definitely hit it on the nose. It makes me grouchy as all get out to have to clean up poop off the floor, the toilet seat and the other places it ends up, not to mention the bathroom rug, which gets soaked with urine every day and has to be washed, but then I have to try to pick the poop out of the fibers before I wash it when it ends up on there too! That's bad enough - but when I tell her point blank that she needs to shower because there was poo on the floor (which means it fell off her body...which means she is not clean back there), she gets this shocked look and half-whispers, "Oh, I'm sorry!" - but will she shower? NO. I went into the bathroom after she sat there for 20 mins and still refused to shower, only to find the floor wet with urine, and no used incontinence pad in the trash, because she didn't change it - again. I normally go in there with every bathroom visit to watch her (or she forgets to do anything), but I *thought* she was undressing to get in the shower....nope. So I mopped the floor...again....cursing under my breath the whole time. Some days I can deal with it fine....others...like today...not so much.

I need wine. I don't care what time it is. Too bad I have another 10 hours of work ahead of me, or I'd be pouring. I'll have to make do with another cup of coffee, and I'll put my headphones on and blast my music so I don't hear her snoring and I can focus on my work. Good Lord I sound selfish. I hate this. I hate the way it destroys her former self, and how it makes me feel all the time. We went from a good morning today to this, just a few hours later.
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Susan...bless your heart..what is it about our folks that make it so hard to put that foot down...in my head I know that what I am trying to do is best for Mama but if she gets headstrong about something it is still so hard to just MAKE them do something for some reason. I guess it 's that age old thing of being respectful to your parents for me. It feels like I am being disrespectful when I have to push her to get something done...but more and more I know I just have to do it and remind myself it is for HER benefit...but I know how hard it is...believe me oh how I know...

Jeanette, happy to report that Cheetos are now on board so I am set for the blizzard..lol..which here means we will see a flake or two that may or may not reach the ground...If more than ten fall around here at a time, the whole state will shut down for a couple of days..lol
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Ugh...I really need my caregiver helmet right about now...."Ok mom, let's get you in the shower." Mom: "ok". (Sits there for another 10 mins) "Ok Mom, come on, shower time!" (said cheerfully). Mom: "ok" (Sits for another 10 mins) Finally...."Ok, come on Mom." (as I get up and lead her to the bathroom). Then she sits in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I go to get her in the shower and tell her it's time to get in, only to find she's still sitting there fully clothed, on the toilet. She makes a face at me and puts on the whiny little toddler voice, "Can't I wait until this afternoon?" (sigh). Sure Mom. Except I know exactly what will happen. She'll put it off until this afternoon....then this evening...and then it won't happen today at all. Should have just put my foot down and told her no - that she was getting in the shower right now. Not later. I'm SO tired of this.

Hiring that caregiver for shower days is looking better and better...cost be d*mned.
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Not sure if we're in the "up" or "down" spot right now, Jeanette - Mom is more alert today, but once again, resisting the shower. Sorry, Mom....I picked up poo in the bathroom today after it fell off your body and onto the rug....where I nearly stepped out of the shower and right into it. There WILL be a shower today.

Seriously considering hiring the caregiver to come in every other day for a couple of hours to make sure she gets a shower, just to give myself a break from the constant nagging and frustration it takes to get her to shower. She won't resist it from the caregiver, but will from me. SMH. The only problem is that I can't hire the caregiver for less than 2 hours at a time, and that would amount to $60-$80 a week if I did it every other day and once on the weekend. I guess it's nice to dream about...
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They are predicting SNOW...SNOW for our area....holy smokes!!! And now I have the notion of Cheetos planted in my head...Thanks Jeanette...Snow and no Cheetos in the house..it's absolutely un American....I wonder if they have bag balm...they seem to carry stuff these days that a lot of other places don't...I best be getting down there pronto as the radar shows it fast approaching...
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Countrymouse, If your loved one is on a bed you can roll them to one side, put the sling under them half way opened, then roll them onto the sling and pull the other side out and have them go back onto their back. This should expose the 4 hook holes for the hoist and have the patient in the middle of the sling. This works from a sitting position in a regular chair too, if you can roll them from side to side. Keep the sling underneath the patient in the wheelchair for later when you hoist them back into bed. The trick is rolling them from side to side to position the sling underneath! Hope this helps.
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Jumping in with a new whine, or grumble anyway - I'm looking up instructions on how to use a hoist, which is a whole new exciting challenge for me, and I find a really helpful booklet from a nursing school. Step by step instructions, and it's just great, then we get to:

"Position the sling in place under your relative."

Diagram? No. Suggestions? No. 140lb lady, hemiplegic and flat on her back. Big stout piece of reinforced fabric. I get the latter under the former… how, exactly?

Oh well, so we'll just gloss over that bit then, shall we?
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Susan, some days, back to normal isn't always a good thing ;)

Glad your mother is doing better though... it's always a ride up, then a big ride down, back up..down, up, down.... *sigh* :) the sweet sound of snoring is singing me to sleep...
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Uhm, no thanks Cap... you've left enough of an impression ... and now my cheetos aren't near as fun as they once were. Bummer dude. and to think I risked 20 degree's to fast track it to the corner store for them!... oh well, mom wanted fresh strawberry licorice vines, which made me happy :)

2 days and a drive to the city!
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you guys are trying to set me up i think . now its cheetos .
how could anyone know that one of my favorite jokes is about the guy who went to the doc about his " manhood " turning orange colored . turns out it wasnt caused by his occupation . he was retired and spent his days watching porn and eating cheetos .
if anybody needs something to whine about try living inside my head for 24 hours .
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If everything was always "in our head'... well, there would be some seriously full hospital wards Just sayin...

My whine is not for me, it's for the hundreds of people that sign onto this website every day looking for help/answers. How can I get paid? Why don't my siblings help? Those two questions seem so prevalent it's scary. If nothing else in life happens before I get old and die, I would like to see a serious SERIOUS research progress on AD/Dementia/Parkinsons and the like.
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Oh Veronica, so sorry the idiot docs are putting you through that.

I can't tell you the number of times the docs have trotted out the "it must be in your head" argument with me when I was younger and had maladies they couldn't figure out. "Oh, so your leg keeps spasming and jumping like a d*mn jumping bean and you can't walk on it? Well, we can't figure it out, so it MUST be in your head" (And in comes the psychiatrist, who declares me to be "stressed".) "Oh, so you're pregnant and your leg (same leg!) keeps turning purple when you put weight on it and spasming? Well, we can't figure it out, so we'll send you to a big medical school hospital, best in the state." (And they couldn't figure it out either, so guess what....here comes the psychiatrist again, who again declares me to be stressed.) Guess what - baby was rolled up against the nerves in my back, pressing on them. Baby delivered, no further problems with the leg! (I tried to tell them I felt like the baby was pushing on my back... But it was all in my head, right?)

Mom *seemed* back to normal today, now I'm not so sure. She's staying awake for longer stretches of time, but *really* forgetful and quiet. Going to keep a close eye on her for a few days.
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I'm out of Cheetos. Cleaned house all day and went to sit down and relax only to find, NO CHEETOS. It's very cold out.... mom took her teeth out, not sure why, but I took that opportunity to dump in a few cleaning tablets.

Honestly, the feel of Bag Balm melting inside socks... ahhh life is good!
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Bob... one word. WIMP!
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I loved everyone's posts. Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh. I always hated buying Depends n hemmorhoid cream lol
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im trying to stay completely away from the " swallowing difficulties " entry , you know , to stay out of trouble . i check in every now and then for a subject i can contribute on but " bag balm " has me scurrying back to cracked magazine for a while ..
be back in a little while . hope everyone is having a nice evening ..
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I also use bag balm and OKeefes.. on my feet!! My heels crack and so I slather it on and sleep with socks.. and put in on in the morning before I put my socks and shoes on, really helps! And the tin is pretty (small pleasures)
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I have heard of the bag balm but never tried it, but will get some for sure...will check out the OKeeffe's too..thanks all...I used to have pretty hands...they look like lobster claws most days now...Mama was doing so well and now she seems to be getting stuffed up again...I have gotten on this immediately ...so hopefully can nip it in the bud but not as easy now that she is so fragile. I think I mentioned that last Friday the aid who bathes her and had just gotten back from vacation told me after she was already here that someone in their group came down with the flu and she was afraid she was coming down with it the night before but now she thought it was not so...but then she was out Monday flat on her back...and headed here today..til I managed to stop that in its tracks. Veronica...I have wondered if those masks would be helpful...and since you have mentioned now I am definitely going to get some...that is an excellent idea..even for me when I start feeling "iffy"...anything to keep Mama from catching something...tonight her fever spiked to 102.7 so I immediately got her on the prescribed strength Tylenol and am keeping plenty of fluids in her...She has already eaten enough today (ensure) and because her breathing seemed sketchy, I gave her a couple of dots of her morphine..this is probably the fourth time I have used it over the course of an entire year..I don't like to use it..but her nose was so stuffed up and her breathing so struggled, that always seems to help. I cleared it with her nurse too and she told me to do it...and now Mama is finally resting...

I do have a new humidifier and that seems to be helping both mama and me. I also enjoy the "white noise" it makes...right now it looks like an ICU unit in our den...but I guess whatever works...thank you all...the gloves on my hands sounds like a great idea too!!
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ff, Bag Balm has been around forever... green tin. Just like your O'Keeffe's stuff.
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Hope, every winter I use to hate my hands because it felt like I had a dozen of paper cuts.... I tried so many different hand lotions with zero luck. One day I was roaming through Home Depot, waiting for my Dad to decide on what light bulb to buy, when I came across a small green container called O'Keeffe's Working Hands Hand Cream.... for the first time in decades I don't have those winter paper cuts on my hands :)
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Oh wow!! I've been using Bag Balm since I was maybe 3? Back then it was for my saddles/bridles, lately, feet/hands/elbows!! I have a green tin of it sitting right here :) Ha, not many people know if this wonder balm ;) that and DSMO have been my parents savior for ever! Works for me as well.

Veronica, I am going to perceive that YOU have the right to be somewhat pissed off right now. Do not let them perceive something is wrong, and thank you for your kind words. At times I think I should do more... and feel bad when I do have her sit her bottom down. It is for her best interest.... and I am not restraining her nor sending her to a memory unit. Get's hard tho... very hard.
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Now for my whine.
Got the results of the biopsies taken during my EGD and colonoscopy. All were negative which is a very good thing of course but what I am whining about is that the GI said the inflamation in my esophagus is probably due to my PERCIEVED swallowing difficulty. I guess the radiologist percieved the barium stuck in the back of my throat and the stuff I aspirated into my lungs and the neurologist percieved the weakness in my neck muscles. Somewhat pissed off now!
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Hope you certainly have my support in keeping germy people away from Mama. You can go even further. Every time someone comes to the house insist they put on a mask and wash their hands and put on gloves. Have either paper towels in the bathroom or preferably a small pile of clean hand towels. After they have gone wipe everything down with your favorite bleach and if used put the hand towel staight in the next load of laundry. You can buy masks at the pharmacy, they come in a box like the disposeable gloves. Now for your hands buy yourself a pair or two of sturdy household gloves, the heavy duty ones that last and use those when you are doing dishes etc. Before you take them off you can rinse your gloved hands in bleach then rinse them off. Buy some cotton gloves, the $1 store may have them and get a tin of Bag balm. Some pharmacies carry it or if you can't find it go to a farm supply store. It is used on cows with sore udders (works well for nursing moms too) Once you are in bed slather your hands with a thick layer and put on your cotton gloves for the night.In the day time also wear cotton gloves for household chores. Does your heating system have a humidifier on it? If not think about buying a portable humidifier. If thats too expensive keep bowls of water by the radiators or air vents. Even hanging wet laundry to dry in the living area will help.

Jeanette I think it is a very good idea to keep Mom safe sitting on the floor
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I with yall on all the bleaches, sanitizers, I even boil the water I wash the dishes in and rinse them in boiling water. My hands look horrendous...even with the little disposable gloves I use, the constant washing, boiling, sanitizing has ruined my skin...even with constant good quality moisturizers including petroleum jelly in really cold weather.. It is so cold here...I cannot get warm and haven't seen the sun in days and days....ugh
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