I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I don't know about others, but not only am I losing my mom (my dad died in 2008) I'm losing my favorite Aunt who is a year younger than my mother.
I was looking at a family picture today which was taken about 1926 with my grandmother (who died before I was born) and at least twelve of the eighteen children that came down from Canada to the United States. The oldest is 21, the youngest is my aunt, who is about 2. My mom is about 3.
I'm losing a kind of extended family. I found out today that my cousin's wife has a newly diagnosed cancer of the colon and is on her third round of chemo.
Where did the time go? Just yesterday, my last child and my cousin's first child were born less than 24 hours apart. Today, they are grown with children of their own and we've gotten 'old'.
in later stages of dementia my mother expected me to make her house look like a showplace . not happenin . i didnt understand it then but now i realize that ocd developed with the latestage dementia .
im cooking wild boar hamsteak and beans in a pan that still has residue from choc / oatmeal nobake cookies in it . a clean freak i am NOT .
I hope you get this worked out and some additional help.
heather will be screaming to work tomorrow and it aint gonna happen . handling cold stones multiple times pulls the heat out of your body . my occupation looks simple to the average bystander but it really isnt simple at all ..
Yes, better days indeed! It has been a refreshing change, even the sundowner's isn't as noticeable.
My son is coming to visit us in 3 weeks. My p/t carer is working in lots of extra hours for us to have visit.
My mom has been pretty coherent for two days. Small anxiety this morning in which she thought she was going to be killed, but even that wasn't the norm? It's like it all made sense? Hmmm...
na na na NA !!
baby you can drive my trike , swing by your house and ill punch mike .
dont forget you scription pad , we'll be good then we'll be bad .
i know my clothes are stained , but ill look fine after it rains .
i have big hands for fixin cars , yours are small for washing jars .
so while im punchin mike , siphon his tank and fill up ike ..
your smart and sweet and proper, with a h*ll of a cute turd chopper ...
so anyway , being a jerk and smellin like a goats a** hasnt worked for me yet but i just havent met the right adventurous , bored professional girl yet .
I found the best *therapist* was my desk mate where I did volunteer work at a hospital... even though she is much younger than I, we clicked.... she was dealing with aging in-laws who came over from the old country to visit... the most recent visit lasted 1.5 years and the aging in-laws rotated among the three siblings. Every week there was a new story with both of us. It felt so good to talk to someone who's wearing the t-shirt :)
Other times, meds are more correctly used to stabilize a person's moods so that talk therapy can get to the bottom of the real issue. The use of meds and going to a therapist in that case is until a situation is deal with and is only short term.
The tough thing very often is finding just the right medication and just the right dose which sometimes needs to change because our bodies tend to change. The other challenge is finding the right match with the right therapist either because of their personality or their training for the kind of problem that we are dealing with. Plus, as always the amount of experience that a therapist has had is also a factor.
From my own experience, I once had a psychiatrist who was beyond the time of retirement for in terms of age and outlook. While he had me on welbutriin and lamictal which I needed, he was so afraid of mania that when I came very close to having a manic episode, he put me on seroquil and then on abilify which are anti-psychotics and really knocked me out. It was not long before I changed psychiatrists. She took me off of the abilify and the seroquil. She has since added one more medicine but everything else has remained the same. She is younger, easier to talk with and more on top of her field of work in my opinion. My wife also sees her.
However, my wife and I see different therapists, have seldom seen the same therapist together although that was needed when it took place and she has had a variety of therapists good and not so good since 1998. Frankly in my opinion and in her twin sister's opinion, my wife became far too emotionally close with the first therapist who was female and had seen her for a few years back in the early 1980's which I did not know about at the time which was before and when we were dating. All I ever seemed to hear about for those years was ___ this and blank ___. She was obsessed with talking about ____. There are times as a couple that you just don't up and start talking about your therapist that you are being helped by, your mom that you are having trouble with or your children for whatever reason, but you focus on the two of you just being together. Well that was a very difficult time for her and for us. She claimed that she was that close to her therapist because her therapist was trying to be the mother that my wife never had. Strange, but I rejoiced when I no longer had to hear about Joyce.
Her next therapist did not allow my wife to become so enmeshed with her, but was wonderful in helping her with her mother issues that she was finally coming to terms with at a deeper level and helped her with needed boundaries. The therapist that she sees now basically helps keep her on an even kneel. My wife has not been to the mental hospital in four years which is an amazing change compared to how things were when she started to frequent the mental hospitals back in 2000.
The therapist that I started that I stared with back in 2002 was young, beautiful and very outgoing which was a bit distracting and was not very experience. Her solution for everything seemed to be giving me another handout to read. She was helpful though with my struggles concerning my need for boundaries and there were some things that I needed to talk about that I was able to do with her, but could only open up so much. However, I did have trouble letting go of her completely for a while because I would write her letters about once a year letting her know of my progress and if I saw her in Wal-Mart or somewhere, I would try to update her quickly. I heard through the grapevine that she left doing therapy to focus more on her young children. My current therapist knew her from her time in that practice group of therapists and said he was always intrigued that her answer for everything was a handout to read. I only saw her for about two years.
I was glad and sad when she moved to another practice for that practice moved me to another female therapist who was older, more experienced calmer, and very helpful. However, she had to leave to another city to help take care of her aging parents. That was after one year.
The next therapist in the practice that she referred me to was also a middle age woman, but seemed to learn more from me than I was learning and being helped by her. She tried some sort of therapy on me that she was just learning about, Rapid Eye Movement Therapy, for people who have trouble with anxiety and have had traumatic experiences in their life. I don't know if she did not know what she was doing yet, lacked confidence in what she was doing, but it did work. Somethings she did, whatever they were, did help me talk calmly with m wife about some important issues. However, I had not found a therapist that I could really open up about my childhood totally with and especially about my mom. My first therapist pointed out to me that along with my depression and bipolar issues that needed to deal with some mom issues. That third therapist decided to refer me to a male therapist in that practice whom she thought would be able to help me better and whose education level was far closer to mine than hers. I don't know why she had an issue with my having a doctorate and her having only a masters in clinical social work, but she had some kind of issue with that. It was not long after I changed therapists that she left doing therapy.
So, after a little over a year of therapy with the rapid eye movement lady, I changed over to a late middle age man who was closer to my age and had a doctorate. I found him to be very experienced, and not one who used handouts or some freaky new therapy technique, was relaxed and confident and easy to open up to about my childhood, my mother, and related issues to all of that. This is when I really made progress in my therapy journey. I had found the right fit, the right match. That is what must be found but sometimes it is a journey to find.
All in all, a good therapist is a paid friend who will support you with your issues, accept where you are as you open up, but they will also ask questions that few friends ever would and will point out areas that need to be resolved or truths that need to be spoken that few friends ill venture going that deep into a relationship in.
So, that is basically my journey with psychiatrists and therapists.
Anyway... my experience with therapy and drugs was quite tainted by all this. Our greatest strength and happiness comes from within. Unless we are very low, we can do more with ourselves spiritually and emotionally than any drug can do. And it's free of charge and any unwanted side effects.
I've also found that the best therapists are friends. Wish I had a few around me right now. I'm so glad for this group to have someone to talk to.
hor heather and i spent 10 hours today un fkn our quadrunner truck . the electronic ignition is no more . it has ford falcon ignition points , a dodge ballast resistor crammed thru a chevy coil and switched with a ford starter solenoid . it starts with the bump of the key like machines used to do before electronic ignition . its what i do with all my machines . clip 500 miles of fail system wires away and rerun the 7 or 8 basic circuits . the farm shop foreman was as proud as a new dad when the old quad lit up . i wont insult japanese bikes because old ike is 30 yrs old this year but you do have to de -- nippon them if you want reliability .. im very pleased , i cant do this work without the quad truck .
ike is chevy , ford , dodge , yamaha , kawasaki , nissan , honda , and a fk load of cut up oil drums . lol
when the s*it hits the fan and automobiles are stopped in their tracks , bring your biggest guns to indiana . my s*it will all still run ..
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