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I dread tax season. Seems like I always owe money :/ Good luck Gail!

pamz, good luck with the Dr., Moms doc doesn't like to prescribe xanax or ativan. He just upped her regular meds plus started her on a Parkinson's med.

It wasn't too bad of a night, mom only got up once but it was enough to keep me awake for a few hours. We have night lights in the hallway which cast a glow...and shadows. Picture this; it's 4:00 a.m., something awakens you, you lay there quietly listening... you see a shadow slowly moving towards your room. Almost zombie like... you hear "swoosh swoosh" you see shadowy hands out stretched coming towards you. haha, it was all I could do to lay there silently while she walked right up to my bed and stared. Yeegads! freaked me out!!

Ah, is it Monday? Not that it matters to me, I just lose track of days, weeks, months and apparently years... I think it was 2012 when I first arrived here.
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Good luck Gail! Fingers crossed it will all go smoothly :) Happy new tax year???
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Well I am off to work this morning! Tax season has began , Happy to be going but a little nervous about leaving Hub alone all day. We will see, wish me luck Gail
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JeanetteB.. my dad was up again too.. we should get them together..LOL. I'm calling the Dr AGAIN today when I get some downtime at work...
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I wish that people would make put more details about themselves and their situations on their profiles so that it is easier to get to know them and be helpful in answering their questions! That would cut down on them having to answer the same questions on the thread of each question that they ask as well. That is a minor whine,but that is my whine for tonight. Good nite.
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Gladimhere... It's not easy being old. Sure doesn't' make me look forward to it. As a difficult as it is I'm glad I can help my mother. Hope there'll be someone there for me when I need empathy. Hang in there... try to get some rest... Somehow or you won't be any good for you or her.
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here here glad!... I hope mine goes to sleep soon also. doubtful though

cap, your childhood memories are, dare I say, awesome? kind of gross too but that's life eh? squirrel? does it taste like chicken?

My dad brought home a giant tom turkey, gosh, this is like 40 some years ago...he chopped it's head off and that turkey ran around headless for an hour. He was awfully tough to eat also.... I've been scarred ever since
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She's driving me nutty. She has had a sore arm today. Gave her Aleve about 3. Now it is getting sore again. Out of Aleve so gave her a couple aspirin. Problem is if I do not pay attention she could OD on aspirin before the ache in her arm goes away. Hope she goes to sleep soon!
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veronica,
ive been told a million times by my mom that animal feed , flour and cornmeal came in cloth bags that were of a grade of cloth suitable for making clothing . ( during ww11 ) .
my mom used to admit that if it werent for us visiting ednas house a couple times a week us kids would have starved . edna didnt mind if we got into her fridge and i vividly remember scarfing down a half stick of butter or drinking ketchup from ednas fridge . when my own family was younger aunt edna would send us home with her outdated frozen food . there never failed to be several frozen squirrels with their heads skinned but still attached . uncle red loved the cheeks , brain and tongue from the squirrel heads . make no mistake , we made meals with the squirrels but there was always a lot of cynical chatter about dinner being squirrel heads tonight . one time about 2 months from my divorce i happened to notice the ex dumping a half a pot of coffee down the drain to make a new batch . i freaking flipped out . my god on what planet does one toss coffee down the drain ? h*ll my leftover iced coffee goes back thru the coffee pot in the morning . leftover food is twisted back into the next nights dinner where i come from .
one time when we had our first new baby at home the ex refused to go grocery shopping because we only had about 20 bucks to shop with . i jumped on the motorcycle and went to the store , shopped carefully and came home with two large paper bags of food . one of my sons will still gratefully eat squirrel heads , the other has to have starbucks singles on his kitchen shelf . im bettin the one who eats squirrel heads will build himself a house before the other one does .
i like ww11 stories . the bbc online newspaper has a section called ww11 , the peoples war . it contains thousands of firsthand accounts from british people who survived even more difficult times than the americans .
our family always had a little slop bucket on the counter for kitchen waste . we always kept some super generic dog food around ( old roy ) to feed the dog but wed generously treat him to the slop bucket occasionally . the slop bucket was exclusively eggshells and coffee grounds , maybe a little scorched bacon grease . we have had no less than 3 dogs simply leave home in disgust and move in with a neighbor . they hated us too . the family of four would drive past on our trike and yell obscene things at them . the sh*tty looks we got from those animals were priceless .
had an old tom turkey try to kick my a** once in my own garage . old sid ( vicious ) . sid ended up in the freezer till christmastime wheras he became the main ingredient in the biggest pot of turkey spaghetti in white sauce youve ever seen . fed about 25 people . had an annoying billy goat who had a similar demise , cept he ended up as about 45 linear feet of link sausage . it was good sausage , happy ending for everyone but " bill " .
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My Dad said he was going to call a nearby office supply store to place an order. I told him that he might find that the clerks don't take orders over the phone, they want people to order on-line. Well, turns out the store will place an order over the phone but it will be waiting for him for pick-up inside the store. I think Dad was hinting that I drive over to the store. Sorry, not happening. I just can't do that anymore.

Tomorrow I will ask Dad what he needs and I will place the order on-line and have it delivered to his house by UPS.... yes, there might be a delivery charge and I know Dad won't like that.... [sigh].
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litldog... I'm so sorry, but I had a really great chuckle with what your wrote :D Heaven forbid, a KOI Pond? I bet they have a nice bench where you can sit peacefully and watch the big fishies swim aimlessly back n forth too? Servers? White linens on the table? The torture of it all just amazes me... good grief.

fligirl, I think it was awesome your mom asked to help! even if it was just for a little bit. Don't feel too sorry for me ;)... my mother is several years ahead of yours and ... well, we take turns :) man, I feel kind of awful for saying that :O

herb, I know it isn't easy and I can't imagine losing all that you did. I can only hope that somehow in our after life we get a small tiny reward of peace.
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I really feel for you. You don't sound awful at all. I totally understand. guess I must be terrible too, then. Me, I resent having to quit a job I went to college for at 50 yrs old only to quit after a few brief years, to take care of my hubby and daughter. I also had to give up the house we had decorated. It is the only place i ever had decorated exactly like I wanted. Now I have to start all over again. I went the opposite and gained a ton of weight due to feeling angry, trapped and resentful. Oh, before i forget, O2 dries out the nasal passages big-time and the mouth passages too. Go ahead and vent. It helps. Helps me, anyways, lol
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Just got back from rehab. My mother is in the 'Whoa is me' mode. Yet, this morning she was able to participate in a Sunday News roundtable, with this afternoon being taken up with an hour's service (each week they bring in different religious organizations for the service). Then there was arts and crafts which is really great. Yet she sits there with this dour face so I told her "Stop with the whoa is me, it's been going on since I was a kid and it's ridiculous". I told her to look around at her surroundings and see what is good about this place.

The CNA brings her medication in the yogurt that she asks for. They are extremely kind. I brought her down to the dining room tonight and my God, there are white table linens on the tables, with actual 'servers' ....she had a better supper than I had. I saw cranberry juice in the glass and the first course, yes the first course, was real onion soup, with lots of onions! What does she do? She complains she can't eat 'those things' (i.e., they had thrown some croutons in to soften them up) ....the server was a very young girl (I'm thinking they are volunteers from the schools around here) and she asked her in a nice voice to at least try it to see if she doesn't like it and if she didn't, they'd take it back and get rid of the croutons.

Not only that, but she has a friend! And apparently she has a few friends. This Whoa is me is getting a bit tiring. It's not like they don't go outside, they do. Lots of the PT is done outside near a (get this one) KOI pond. I want to live there!

At any rate, she's getting so much better that I'm afraid she may just be coming home which will totally upset me.

I give up! :)
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A bit hug to you heart to head.
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Ah Jeanette, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this all the time. I am sorry for all of us. I believe after reading all the posts that I have it easy compared to what you have to go through and that is why I feel guilty and bad. That mom is still able to shower herself. Thats about all she does but that is ok, I have to do all the rest. She got so tired after helping with the Christmas tree, I told her she did enough. I think though that mom needs to do a little more for activity because she in in bed for a long time and she gets worse . I am going to try and get her to do a little more for the moving part but just a bit. Thanks and big HUGS to you and all.
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Ever be where you can barely keep your eyes opened, it's night time so it is time to hit the bed.... but you had washed the sheets and oops they are still in the washer, you forgot to put them into the dryer.... I feel like forgetting about them and curl up in the afghan :P
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Geez now I feel even worse, mom offered to help me take the tree down and I said yes and she is helping me. I am such a b*tch.
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flligirl, you don't sound awful. You had a small taste of freedom, fun and family and you LIKED IT! If that's the part you think someone may not understand, well, in my case, you're right! LOL it's been so long since I've had an entire day away from here... oh mahgod I can't even remember where I went or why? Maybe that's why I don't push so hard to get-away, in fear I may not come back?

It's hard, very hard. I so get it. Today has not been a good day here either. I'm so d*mn sick of her asking where her d*mn chair is even though it is RIGHT THERE, it makes me stomach tie up in knots. The non-stop pacing as soon as the sun goes down... oh mother of all things that drives me batsh*t crazy. She'll stand right in front of me, marching up/down/up/down and tell me how bad her legs hurt but for the love all that's good in this world, she will not sit down. I hate hate hate the pacing. It numbs me as well as fills me with and anxious dread thinking the next fall is going to be the last. Either I knock her out with heavy duty drugs (which her dr won't prescribe so that's out) or I follow her around... which is just impossible, so I clear the area of any things she may trip on and pray she doesn't. I'm the one that needs to go for a long walk in the cool air to rid my body of some of the pent up angst.

Her transport chair came with a built in seat belt. In order for her to sit there and eat I use it to keep her still. She'll finish all her dinner this way and feed herself.

I've read that the pacing is just another one of those phases but man oh man this is the longest phase of them all and the up all night. That will be my undoing.
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"I mean forgive instead of forget..."
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Fligirl58... I know how you feel... My mother lives with me (for 10 yrs now while my brothers do nothing)... I was angry for the longest time and starting to get sick from all the stress... I had to do do/change something!... My dr's encouraged me to start taking care of myself so I'm learning to 'live' in the 'now' and forget... Someone here posted a book about Living in the Now by Echkart Tolle and I got the audio from the library... He's also on You Tube... You just have to keep trying and trying and do little things for yourself until you can accept what life throws at you (us)... I know it's hard but what's the alternative?... Keep trying along with the rest of us ok? I struggle too, but am much better than I was... Keep posting!...
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I am so angry today. This is not going to make any sense to you all but I have had a lot of fun over the holidays. Family and friends spent time and we played games and laughed so much, it was great. I was seriously stressed out having to do all the holiday work but it was so worth it. I got to go to Knotts Berry Farm for the whole day yesterday. So what is my problem, I do not want to be here. I should and am grateful for the fun things but I am resenting having to come back home and felling so depressed and trapped. I am so tired of having to repeat my self over and over.

I know mom cannot remember anything for longer than a minute but she wears oxygen now and its been over a month or more and she keeps blowing and picking her nose and making it bleed and cannot understand why she is bleeding. I don't know how many times I have said to use the KY jelly and its like she has never seen it before. I keep telling her to stop digging in her nose but she continues to do so.

I sound awful I know. I just had to talk to someone who understands what this is like because as you all know no body understands what this is like..

The only thing I feel like I have control over is what I eat and how much exercise I do. I recently lost over 26 lbs which this is more like how I should be. I am in a lot of pain and I know I should take it a little easier but I just feel I have to do it.

Its my release and I seem to still be in a bad mood all the time. I really feel so badly and I am trying not to say to much to my mom because I don't want to yell at her or make her feel bad. Thanks for listening
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Veronica you are so sweet...thank you for that. I think I am trying to remember how my Mama always dealt with things when they happened..she knew how to push through and look at life with such a positive outlook. I want to do that too. I have my moments, but I know how blessed I am. I know that three years ago when all this happened no one gave Mama any hope of even survivng...she is strong and God knew I needed her, our family needed her, to make it...In many ways Mama has saved me. As much as I loved my little home on the pond, it was a very strange situation and there was a lot that went on around me there that made life very hard....I know I did not have to move, but moving I think saved me, being back home saved me. My brother and I are getting close like we used to be back when we were kids, and I am thankful for that. My adult life dealt some really painful blows physically and emotionally and I almost lost my way...Coming home and caring for Mama has helped me find my way home. And now facing losing her at some moments is killing me, but when I remember this is not the end for her but the beginning of being whole again, and happy, and not being encumbered by a body that will not respond as it used to...I have to remember that letting her go means letting her live.....and I will have to go on but I will go on with more of a purpose now. It's going to be strange being one of the seniors in the family now..haha....but life goes on and when I think how quickly it passes, it will not be long before I will find myself facing this same adventure...it's always been strange to me but I never feared dying personally...not nearly as much as I could not bear the thought of losing Mama and Daddy...so when that time comes for me I am going to look at it as going on the best vacation ever that is never going to end....and Mama and Daddy will be waiting for me......odd how all this has almost made life replay before my eyes...it all goes far too quickly....
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Capt how I remember those ration books. everything was rationed from food to clothes and furniture and linens. You gave up so many points when you brought anything. there was a special kind of furniture manufactured call "utility furniture. It was very plain and had marks on it like packman but it was really strong. When sheets became worn in the middle they were cut in half and turned sides to middle and finally used as rags when they were threadbare. olsd sweaters were unraveled to make new ones for the children. this was the worst for me mother cut down her old dresses for me to wear. she was not a good seamstress and all she did was turn the hem up, so I went to school in old lady dresses. Her knitting was not that great either, it would probably have been better if she had bothered to use a pattern. I did follow her example in reusing clothes for the kids but the difference was that I took the garment apart and used the material to cut out new garments. i only stopped making things when I discovered thrift stores. When some one asks me what my style of decorating is I usually say "Early Salvation Army"
Your Mom is certainly still keeping a good eye on you isn't she? She probably worked out that it was cheaper to spend the $100 than have to use more wood that you could sell heating the bunker. You definitely should write that book!
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Hope you are such a loveing and lovely person. Even in your darkest hours you reach out to others and I am sure those who know you light up when they see you comming. If I could I would hug you in person you are such a treasure.
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Jeanette sometimes i think we are twins...I can so identify with everything you are talking about...when our hospice aide comes to bathe Mama three times a week, I will talk, talk, talk, talk..and I even hear myself thinking I need to cool it and stop driving her nuts but I can't help it...it is nice having someone who answers me...same thing at the grocery or anywhere I may find myself...heaven help whoever might say something to me....and even if they don't I find myself just starting up a conversation....

I miss my Daddy's stories about the old days too...and Mama's...so many of the aunts and uncles have passed as well who used to talk about those days...how I miss those stories.

I'm glad you are feeling better Jeanette...yesterday my ankle was acting up on me and for most of the day it honestly felt like I had either sprained or broke it...it must have been a pinched nerve because after a decent nights rest I felt ok today..but yesterday I was worrying if something had happened to my ankle what on earth was I going to do...it was all I could do to change and bathe Mama because the ankle hurt so bad....I think you and I live parallel lives sometimes J... :)
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Glad your mama is doing better hope, you take such wonderful care of her.

I miss intelligent conversation, heck I miss any sort of conversation...when my carer comes over for those few short hours 3 times a week I think I talk my head off to her. haha, the other day I jokingly told her it's like "paying for a friend". Sad thing was she said I wasn't the only caregiver that had said that to her. We tend to get so isolated... I think I can speak "dog" better than English now. hehe, reminds me of the movie, "The Emperor's New Groove" where Crunk speaks squirrel "squeak squeakity squeak squeakum squeakers".

Cap, I love your stories about Edna, I'm tellin ya, write a memoir of all this stuff and leave it for your grandkids or heck, publish it!

My grandmother, also named Edna, had a big cherry farm here in Oregon, she'd tell us how they would feed the soldiers would camp out in the orchard and he'd feed them big pots of horse stew (meat meat was I guess very hard to come by during that time) and in trade they'd do farm work for them. Oh, also how when fishing the Columbia River they'd use a horse pulled tractor to pull the giant Sturgeon in. Nowadays Sturgeon are pretty scarce here...

Truly that is one thing I miss the most... hearing about the old days. My dad could talk and would talk for hours about them, him being in the Navy witnessing the first nuclear bomb in the pacific, fishing off the ship...

I think my antibiotics finally kicked in since my head doesn't feel like it's going to explode from pressure and my eyeballs no longer hurt :) What if I really really get sick? What then? That scares me also.
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Captain, I know there are a lot of moments these days when I can feel my Daddy's wisdom coming home to me...even though he has been gone 18 plus years now...I do know that life goes on...and the bad thing about loving folks so much is the pain that you feel when you lose them...but I am so thankful to have had the parents I have had...and in my heart I know I will be reunited with them again one day....I have to hold onto my faith more now than ever....Mama seems comfortable ...I'm so thankful for that...
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hope,
youre struggling now but you will be content beyond words when your mother is no longer alive . my mothers wisdom helps me every day of my life even tho shes gone . just last week she told me to styrofoam my bunker walls . lol . her voice in my head said " theres no need to freeze your ass off to make a point about frugality . get 100 bucks worth of styrofoam d*ckhead ..
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You know Veronica...that is true...even now, when I am tempted to start emoting about things that might be distressing to Mama, I talk to her about the day, the cozy rain, the fact that it is supposed to get cold again next week, etc...I'm not going to lose any moments talking about the inevitable..who knows, God could call me home before my Mama...Life is so uncertain...every moment such a blessing...no time to waste, no precious moments to lose.....
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my mom was 16 yrs old during ww11 . they lived on a dirt farm and only survived by the logs , ginseng , sassafras , etc they could harvest from the forest . my aunt edna still has the familys ration booklets . i never fully appreciated how much hardship my mothers family endured till about 8 months before she died . an older man at the junkyard i was working at , upon hearing my mothers age ( 81 ) pointed out to me that she had been thru some dam difficult times . then i began listening to her stories in a whole different frame of mind . yea, they had a hard life . my mom lost two fingers to a chopping axe when she was ten years old . grandpa had malaria or some kind of bullshit and the whole family had to kick in to help him make the mortgage pmt . aunt edna has been thru it too but shes a little different . shed kill squirrels with a slingshot because ammo cost money , and of course i learned my food preperation / canning skills from edna . my mom struggled , edna made dinner happen . i love them both but edna is a fkn national treasure and a pioneer girl if one ever lived .
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