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Happy New Years to all of us caregivers. May this coming year be better for all of us
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I decided to skip 2015 and go straight to 2016 after figuring that next year will be better than the current one.
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... and I learned a new word already this year. Pibble. I had to look it up to know what it was.
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I think joining this site and forum is the best gift I could have given myself on the 1st day of the new year! I thought I was the only one who had these feelings and I felt I was turning into the Grinch of Caregiving! I often look in the mirror and i dont recognise what I have become. I once read an article that said the only way to survive caregiving is to develop a morbid sence of humour- some of the comments here have made me laugh out loud as i absolutely recognise my situation in them. So here's wishing us all a 2015 that has a good dose of sanity, humour and hopefully, a large dose of light at the end of the tunnel- whatever shape that takes......
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70? That is one helluva great dream!

It's 20 degree's here and my windows in my room are wide open and my bed is calling.... nothing says sleep well like a cold room and a warm big pibble snuggled against you :)
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I know the disappearing appetite thing. I can be hungry when I start to cook, but by the time I sit down, I don't want to eat but a few bites. It would be great to hire a chef. While I'm at it, I'll dream of an entire wait staff and a big mansion... with the thermostat set on about 70.
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Hey Susan, we over lapped.... no, no point in going over the ran over many times before. 2015 has got to give just a bit dont'cha think?

My son gave me dates he could finally come visit me. This makes me happy. Hope I find enough energy/strength to actually enjoy his visit.
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Scooch on over in the transporter there Jessie... although I've not been accused of plotting or stealing, I do get accused of "you're going to kill me aren't you? at least 3 times a week. Usually this occurs when I'm making HER dinner and not devoting my all to her... my reply is "nope mom", I'm cooking you dinner". Her reply "I'm hungry". well duh... so either I'm OH OH wait... I guess you could say I get accused of plotting?... ah ha! I am slowly poisoning her with homemade beef stew... when I could have just microwaved it :D

I've noticed my appetite is gone. By the time I get her food ready, mine is cold and it's no longer appealing. I've tossed more food this month than ever before. It sounds great in my head but when it comes time to eat it... just yuck.
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I'd like to think that 2015 will be better, but as far as things with Mom go, I'm sure that's not going to be the case.

I started out typing a very long post and just deleted it. Not much point in hashing over what's already been said.
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Blek! I spent most of the evening with Mom tonight watching TV. I had gotten into JAG, so was trying to pay attention. She was talking about things, like playing with my nephew on the floor when he was a baby. I wasn't saying anything, just watching TV and half listening to her. Then suddenly she said, "You're in a mood tonight, aren't you?" Huh?? She went on to say how she could tell by my voice -- that high pitched irritated sound like "mweh mweh mweh." Man, she was really getting down on me. The problem was that I hadn't said anything at all.

Beam me up, Scotty. Some people get accused of plotting or stealing. I get accused of talking in a high-pitched voice. (Really kind of funny)
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Oh geez pamz, sounds like it's been a long rough month! I feel for you and completely understand your plight. I sure hope your mom recuperates quickly and nicely enough. I'm feel awful for you. I can't imagine trying to work a out of home job and the in home job of your dad. They say it's the lack of sleep that makes caregivers give in the towel. If they could sit there and watch tv or do something besides pace around it wouldn't be so terrible... trust me, I get it.

I tried to use the 4 wheeled walker/scooter chair thing that I had bought for my dad with my mother. She's way too wobbly to use any sort of walker, in fact, I think it would make it harder on her. It's amazing how I have assist her walking but then during her pacing attacks, she gets up/down and walks/shuffles just fine on her own? So confusing...

Tex, oh hell no! No wonder you are about to fall apart. 45 appointments not including her primary? Damn girl! My mother see's her primary once a month and the other few times are ER or Urgent Care which so far has only been a few times this entire year. hehe, my pets have seen their vet more than I have also. It's just not funny... when I take mom to see her primary, since he's also mine, I get a few whines in with him but not much more... some days my body feels like it's been beat up and I am dying inside, aside it gets pushed. Somehow we both need to change this way of taking care of our mothers or they will surely out live us.

On a happier note.

Happy New Year to the Aging Care family whom I have grown to cherish. May this year bring us all some happiness in our year, along with sleep, peace and a brighter outlook for 2015.
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only I never had to drive 80 miles, thankful for that
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Tex I think I have you beat this year sadly. We had rad every day for 35 days chemo 2 days a week for 7 weeks (same time rad was going on) then the ent Dr , heart Dr speech dr dermatology dr. He had 7 surgery's. I had a calendar that I took with me to all apts, trying to no have more then 2 on the same day!!!! Ok with the taxes if you have a ? just message me I have did taxes for 26 years and will be glad to help. This goes for anyone if you have a tax ? mes me I will try to help
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Also didn't add the twice weekly trips to physical therapy.
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I forgot to add she also saw her primary MD along with all the others.
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Wow! I was helping my mom with her taxes and I wrote down all the MD visits for 2014. OMG! 45, that's right, 45 MD visits for 2014. We live in a rural area and have to travel up and down a major interstate to get to these MDs, Each trips is an 80 mile round trip at least so that worked out to about 3,440 miles I have driven my mother to the MD this year. I haven't even calculated the hours that were involved in driving and then sitting in the office. This year I blew off my mammogram, my colonoscopy,and dermatology exam, and my dental cleaning. I did get surgery on my neck but that was because my hands were going numb.I was stunned when I looked at the list for the last 12 months and I wondered why do I keep feeling like I don't do enough, it is looking at from the paper, 45 MD visits! for the year of 2014.She has seen a podiatrist, dentist,dermatologist,cardiologist,pain specialist,hand surgery specialist,opthamologist.I have actually had more interaction with my veterinarian.My pets have seen a MD more than me.I am just stunned.Has anybody else taken their elder this many times to an MD in a 12 month period?
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Oh boy my year is ending on a crap note! Mom is on day 3 of antibiotics for bronchitis.. still no energy or appitite. Hubs brought home lobster for everyone for NYE.. she loves lobster. hardly could eat any.I got home from work to a sh*tstorm. Dad having a fit about taking his last (sleeping) pill... Mom exhausted, hubs frustrated. Dad talking nonsence, about how the pill will kill him. Mom angry and weak. I have no idea whats going on... Oh boy the fun... Got dad to bed.. no last pill.. And I have to get up at 4 am for work.. I tried to tell her its not worth the battle. But she is so tired and goofy at this point. Not eating well for 2 weeks.. was all I could do to get her to the dr at the same time as dad, and now I worry we waited too long (she refused to go). I guess I'm gonna have to hope tomorrow goes better, or try to get her back in Friday to see the Dr again. This is how her pneumonia went 2 years ago. And dad is getting more confused.. he makes no sence most of the time the past 2 weeks. Dr checked him out.. just the way it goes, but I hate when he is angry and I worry. Seems he was fine all day.. it's the pill taking that is the problem now. Sorry if this is rambling.. I am tired from 2 weeks of no sleep and lots of worry.. may 2015 be better!!
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I can't tell you how many people have suggested a walker for Mom, who now uses a cane to walk, or a wheelchair for longer distances. She just doesn't want one - she thinks it will be more hindrance than help.

Cold as cold can be here tonight. Wind chill has had the temps hovering at or below zero all day - it was near 50 degrees (farenheit) just a few days ago. I guess it was inevitable, though - it *is* winter, after all.
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hobbesmom, you are correct about how some things might not work out for everyone. My Dad tired to get my Mom to try out his new roller walker thinking she would like it.... but she couldn't figure out how to use the hand brakes.

Now that I think back, my Dad when he was younger learned to ride a bike which had hand brakes, so did I. But my Mom never could ride a bike even though she tried, just wasn't coordinated. So now I am thinking maybe that is why my Dad learned so quickly to use the hand brakes on his walker, it came second nature to him... but not to my Mom.
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This is not whining, but I'm not quite sure where to post this.

A dear friend is 86 and a couple of years ago, her son and daughter got her a "gift" = a walker with 4 rolling wheels and a seat.

Well, my friend didn't feel stable enough to use it. She preferred her walker with 2 front wheels. Having broken my ankle last June, I can understand the need for stability where and when you can find it. Her children are still 'in the sh@ts about it. I don't know why. They never even asked her about it. So, it just sits there taking up space and they continue to lay the guilt upon her. I suggested she donate it, but it seems that would cause even more family drama.

Long story short - ha! - sometimes caretakers or pseudo-caretakers try to do the right thing, but it is not appropriate nor welcomed. It's best to always ask first and let the person try it out if they are even interested.
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panapal, those roller walkers are great. At first my Dad didn't want one, but it took a tumble on his driveway and a call to 911, and a nurse to convince him otherwise. Bought him a bright shiny blue model, hand brakes, basket with a seat on top... good heavens, you'd think I had bought him a sport car.... boy can that man take off with the rolling walker leaving us in a cloud of dust :)
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i had to go get some 2 inch styrofoam insulation for my bunker walls . i always thought that being partially underground meant you only had to heat from 56 degrees up to 70 but i was wrong . the damn earth keeps pulling your 70 degrees DOWN to 56 . i have to get out and work in the cold weather but i need to be warm at home to pull the chill back out of myself .
not complaining by any means . people in this world sleeping on the streets are the ones i feel bad for . GWB allocated federal charity monies to the churches and it was imo the wrong thing to do . secular people shouldnt have to beg churches for federal relief money and thats why many people sleep rough instead of going to shelters . i would also ..kum by ya my ass MF .
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I lost my post
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Oh Susan you gave me a good laugh Thanks.
Could be that bottle of Merlot i have half kicked though too. (I seldom get a chance to indulge)
May I suggest a "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shoot again" sign. Your post made me give my dogs a big hug though and thank God I live in the boonies. We dont even get trick or treaters out here.
I have no whine to go with my wine tonight as my sister bought Mom a roller walker with a seat on it and took mom to Sams Club today for a test driver. Mom came home and laid down on her day bed here in the great room and has been snoring ever since. Thank you Lord for a great New Years present!
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Hi fellow whiners. Love this.site My son in law just went to the ER with pancreatitis. Ruined NY Eve for my daughter and granddaughter and of course the patient. Speedy recovery. Happy new year to you all and may we all enjoy good health and peaceful lives.
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Capt I am sure the Pope would enjoy one of your cinnamon rolls. He sounds the kind of guy who would enjoy a visit to your bunker. He might even have some suggestions.
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Captain, you said, "i dont want to associate with a world where i cant make fun of the pope . im going to put 8 more inches of block on my bunker walls . let the world kill , riot and loot . they aint getting any of my cinnamon rolls . suckers !! "

Very funny! And, hey, the pope is an easy target - the whole Catholic church is really. I'm not here to be an apologist for the Catholic church. If you want to hate the pope or the Catholic church, fine, just be informed about your reasons why. By the way, I'm more protestant than the Protestants! Have a good day! It would be nice if you shared one cinnamon roll with me, but I won't condemn you to hell if you say "no." lolololol
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Jan you are doing very well and luckier than most in that you have your sister with you. Most caregivers struggle alone and even nearby siblings with nothing else to do are to "busy" to help. Welcome aboard don't be afraid to ask anything someone will have a suggestion. Blessings
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jan, with a dementia patient your probably gonna get exasperated and say things you shouldnt sometimes . they are well known for pitting family members against each other too . the only good thing about dementia is that most patients ive seen live in a state of near bliss . its uncommon for them to worry about trivial things .
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Regarding door to door salespeople, how I wished I still had my beloved torti cat from the 1970's-1980's... she was a big cat and very territorial. Anything that came onto our property she would run off. Her just sitting on the front stoop was enough to make people bypass our house :)
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