This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Ladee, yes, my clients pay; the problem is that there is crisis in my field of activity and much less work for everyone, consequently, for me too. I am literally squeezing my brain to think of other ways of earning money. I hope I will have some idea sooner or later! Something that I can do nearby because with my situation is no more thinkable to go back and forth from Rome. I am making some decisions in January. I can survive until then.... Thanks!
I live in a small town in Texas, our speed limit in town is 35, I thought I was going to loose my mind when I first moved here....I would go to neighboring cities just so I could drive 60, am used to it now, don't get in a hurry about much of anything now...
But thanks for the stories.... they make my brain relax......
Ro..... hope you come up with something soon.... anything else you can do from home? Have you done anything about your 'novel'? If you have a few chapters written, start sending it to publishers...... there are so many here in the US... something for you to think about.... and if they buy it, they front you money...... just think you could be famous here among us mere mortals.....
It's a dream of yours Ro, don't let everyday life dictate how your dream ends.....
Shawna...... GO TO BED......I am getting ready for work girl and you are still up...... and I think adding dolls to your sight will be good. I go to sight with dolls because I make ART DOLLS and I go to all sorts of places looking for ideas..... so yeah, two birds with one stone.....
And your sis can go online to find the topsy turvey dolls..... most are made of cloth, some sites have patterns.....
Ok, off to Dante's Inferno, Marie is getting a perm today, so Sonny and I will have most of the morning to ourself.... and by the way Ro, you asked recently if my caring for Sonny is enough to keep me at this job, yes, I have become so attatched to him.....so I just worked on my attitude about Marie, so far so good, no, I don't see myself leaving Sonny anytime soon.......
Hugs across the miles to you all this morning....
I see a COW PATTIE in Maya's future..............and wonderful stories, don't be afraid that you are boring any of us....on the contrary I bet we all love them! Reminds me of reading the Reminisce magazine which I do every month.
ladee..........you're right about the chair. Last night I patiently went over "now push the button until the chair won't go any higher, now use your cane to finish standing, I'm right here beside you, no you're not going to fall, yes, we leave the chair up high because you can get back into it better and the dog won't pee on it"!!!! "Sit in the chair and push the button until the chair goes all the way down, now if you want your legs up just keep pushing that little button"............over and over and over and over. Gee the walker will be here any day, that ought to make things fun. She can't figure out how to operate a chair but "give me my car keys and I'll show you how well I drive"...........sure thing, just wait here while I get my helmet.....:)
Going to try my best to get a few things done around here today, thought it was supposed to rain but the sun is now shining. Need to go to the lake house to get a few more things out since I can't talk ladee into renting it....;)
I hope everyone has a good day....and try to get some rest if possible.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
No one can say for sure just why the kids were named that way. My dad's oldest brother told me about them, but I thought he was just joking. Imagine my shock when I saw the census pages that they were listed on. The pages were handwritten and Sleet's name didn't look like Sleet. It looked like Slut at first, so I enlarged the page just to be sure of what I was seeing. Sure enough, it was Sleet. I came to find out that I actually went to church with Sleet and Beulah. Sleet went by her middle name Helen. I honestly can't say that I blame her.
I was going through old deeds one night and found Snow's married name. Turns out that she was living just across the river from me in Virginia. Then, when I did a search for her, I found her obituary. It listed one surviving child. He was listed in the phone book, so I called him up and introduced myself. I do genealogy and he was more than willing to answer some questions after he was convinced I was related to him. How many other folks would claim to be one of these folks if they didn't have to? When I referred to Sleet by her middle name, he kept saying "Sleet". I was trying to be polite and I think it tickled him. By the way, he's younger than my mother is and he's actually in my grandfather's generation in the family tree.
On my mom's side, we have Romulus, Americus, Adonijah, Adoniram, Narcissus, Hiram, Leah Nardy (yes, that's how she's listed), Margianna, Warnie, Monnie and Martha Clementine. I love those old names. It makes them easy to find in a census search. After all, how many Adonirams do you know of?
And now for a picture change. This one is my maternal grandfather. I took care of him as well. This picture is 111 years old.
The newspaper always posted them right at midnight. And every night for years, when I went in to tell my mother good night, I'd tell her that Aunt Myrtle wasn't listed, so the death watch continues....
I was curious. With names like Sleet and Snow ... are their dates of birth maybe 9 months after winter? One was conceived during a sleet storm and one was conceived during a snowy winter? Chillion? Not sure what that could be other than they were "chilly" or as we say now "chillin'". Thank you for the story this morning. I loved reading it. And the photo is precious. SDPeg
Just wanted to let you all know we are doing ok. Yesterday we got result ...fist, dray took looked great it looked like they were able to draw 90% of fluid off dads lung. Fluid showed infection and echo must have shownd some CHF. I was too happy about fluid that I didn't ask questions about heart. Will do that today when doc comes.
Dad seems much more alert today. He sat up and PT helped me to gat him to stand. Maybe we will be able to go home in a few days. Will check in later maybe I can catch up on all the posts.
Love you guys..You all are in mt mind and prayers daily.
The med change was all it took to put her into CHF. They changed her meds again and she's doing much better in that sense. Now, we have to get all the other conditions stable again. It's like one number goes out of whack and they all fall like dominoes.
I like your illustration of the dominoes. That is true. My mom has hypothyroidism and that caused so many problems that I couldn't tell if she was still grieving (well yeah I know she is) or depressed or ill or the thyroid. We are so complex aren't we?
I will just remind myself that dominoes was one of my favorite games as a kid! SDPeg
A cow pattie is actually a wonderful thing, I've been trying to get one since I started here and still haven't, might have to ask Jam to issue me a honorary cow pattie..lol..
Glenn and I are still sitting in Spanish Fork, UT.. will be pulling out of here on Friday, heading towards CA, want to be there before the 31st, as that is my step daughters birthday. From there, I am not sure which direction we're going to head, we'll be in CA for at least a month and probably more, have friends and family scattered up and down CA..
Sometime during this trip, I want to go to AZ, TX (ladee is going to have to put up with me for a couple of days..lol..) and then onto Arkansas to see a friend that I haven't seen in 15 years. These stops I guess will be considered our way back home.. we're still debating on if we are going to move or just stay where we are and travel. We've survived this trip in a little camper, thinking if we do this again, I want either a travel trailer or a class "C"...lol...
Have a wonderful day ladies and gentlemen, I'll have more pictures on my facebook page this evening, we're going to Salt Lake City and see the temple.
Talked to sis today and she said dads ent drs office called and said that they had gotten dads culture back from the neck swab they did on the mucus from around his trach and they said it was a bacterial infection and they have put him on bactrim(sp?) so she was going to go pick it up. She said that he has been coughing with everything he puts in his mouth. And she said that his mucus in his trach was turning dark brown again. Probably another kind of infection going on. We get one thing cleared up and something else jumps on him. Can't win for losing. Still have not heard anything from the lung dr. Well i just wanted to check in and i will be talking to ya'll later. I have loads of clothes to fold( i hate folding clothes) UGH!!!!!
Ladee- what is this little black creature you have on your site. Have you got a animal dressed in a two-two with black shoes on??????????? WHAT IS IT??????? Love ya'll ((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyy
It has been a hard road for you two girls, and I guess I just worry about your dad and what all he may be feeling... but ya'll know what is best for him..... the whole thing just makes me so sad...... doing all this running from doctor to doctor, still no answer really, it would make me crazy, so believe it or not, we do understand why you went on the great computer search.... it is human nature to want answers when you are scaired and worried...... and I hope you know we were not fussing at you for worrying about your dad.... we just know that all that research changes nothing in the end.... but we do truly understand why you were doing it.... to get some answers..... but like so many things, we just end up with more questions....
You, sis and your dad are in my prayers Stormy, if for no other reason than to give you strength to continue to do what needs to be done.....my heart hurts for you, but know you are loved... You are appreciated for what you are doing for your dad, and you will have gained so much knowledge and experiance to help others.... at least it will give all this some kind of meaning and purpose.... hugs across the miles to you.....
Mom is doing okay today ate pizza from yesterday since I couldn't eat it. Got some rest and got some work done then had to go with niece and mom to take little ones to get flu shots. Poor Alena and Nicky were screaming by the end and hiding in my lap. Working on more ornament designs and such. Maya my sister is gonna get the material next month then shes gonna try it if it works I will contact you. Niece has not popped yet and I sold another water bottle. Birthday party sunday and hopefully more orders for water bottles coming in we will see. Unfortunatly I did scare my sis tonight the phone messed up and and I had to deal with mom so she called a couple times and got no answer ... i called her back said sorry and we are okay now.
Stormy, your father doesn't feel well, so I think he understand by himself that there is something wrong... You might try to give him a softened version of what is going on.
Starry I am happy to see that your trip is going on beautifully... You are going to have nice weather in California!
Maya, loved your story. In Italy, during the "Dallas" period, many children were named "JR" and "Sue Ellen", which would be good if they weren't followed by an Italian name. JR Maccheroni doesn't sound good. Sue Ellen Cecioni, either. I heard with my ears a mother calling her daughter "Macarena" (in the years of Macarena of course). Some parents have named their children with the names of TV programs!!! At least Snow, Forrest, names like this, are cute.
Ladee I am happy to see you in a good mood...
Jam no hope with the chair. You can explain it 2000 times, it is pointless!
I don't feel like working but I have to.
'Night everybody!
cow patties are for anyone who write the post numbered ending in 00 - e.g. 3300 as you did - it is a prize for hanging in with us
ladee - hope u had some quiet time with sonny while marie got her perm
shawna - think it is a good idea to have dolls on your site too - hope u sell lots of water bottles at the party
jam - hope the col is enjoying her chair
vic -glad dad got up a bit today - sounds like he is getting the help he needs
starri -so glad your trip is going well now -see lots more travel ahead for u
stormy - doin' good girl - hope lil red is better - ladee really said it didn't she -sweetie, if ur dads thyroid has been removed he can't have Graves, I don't think - just his meds dose is too high don't worry about why in any case -it just needs to be adjusted - mine goes up and down and my daughters and we have to adjust our meds -or that dr does rather -and nobody - not even the specialists know why
ros - prayers for work for u and rest -I have seen some strange names around here - michelin - after the tires - for one
sdpeg - fear of the unknown -u got that right
everyone else - know we are thinking of you - let us now how you are
late here - having a good break, put a few pics on face book - walked , saw deer, soaked in the hot tub, while Gary baled hay - to morrow we will go to see the park -hope it doesn't rain but think we will go anyway
love, hugs and prayers♥♥♥
jo
I started buying his books on E-bay and ended up with an amazing collection at an even more amazingly low cost. I bought a first edition of his first book for next to nothing. It appraised for five hundred dollars.
And if you read his letters to his last love, you'll see how much of a rascal he really was. She was kind enough to donate them, even though she requested that he destroy hers. Hell hath no fury....