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Maya, I do not like Sonny's PA either... she is always in a hurry, will not speak loud enough for Marie to hear her, then get an attitude when she has to repeat herself, and the same type of situation happened lately with miscommunication.... Nurse called to set up an appt... was told no, he had an appt. in Austin..... she shows up anyway..... Marie was in one of her 'moods', when she walked in the door Marie says you are not supposed to be here!!! should have seen the defiant look that went across the PA's face, I thought to myself, oh yeah sweetie, go ahead and get stupid with Marie.........make my day !!!! She went ahead and left, I am sure very dissapointed she did not get to defraud medicaide out of some money..... Sonny no more needs a PA than I do....
But am very sorry to hear your mom is not healing like she should.... and in some ways what the nurses did does not surprise me..... I pray I just drop dead and do not have to go thru what I have witnessed or heard about....my best friend is a Hospice RN, we have already talked about all this..... just do not let me suffer for the sake of saying " we did all we could", just get it overwith....
Let us know what is going on and how you mom is.... and thanks for sharing your stories..... I look forward to reading them... hugs to you...
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Stormy girl, don't cry, just know that there is a thread here full of old ladies, and Cmag, that have walked the path before you.... we do understand.... we all experiance fear of the unknown..... just keep letting us know what is going on, and keep coming here and venting......hugs to you
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What ladee said is true Story we are here for you use our shoulders if you need I got big enough ones to let you rest your head on and cry. And HEY Ladeeda who you calling old lol I am only 33 lol.. *sorry i had to say that* I am awake cause I went to bed at 11 cause mom was relaxed ate good and wanted to get some rest woke up about 4 now i am wide awake I'll probably go to bed soon. I have to go babysit my niece and nephew tonight but that's okay. OH and Jo I don't sell the water bottles at the party lol my niece E sells them at the cheerleading and football practices and games lol
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Well ya'll I am happy to say this is the second week of everything being ok at work..... I don't know if she was testing me, or it is simply my attitude being different, but Marie has actually been human here lately.......I know I am not all stressed, being pissed off all the time, doesn't matter.... I don't dread going to work and that is all that matters.....Seems the full moon affected Sonny last night... Marie usually hears him if he gets up, but he appartently roamed around for quite awhile last night..... when she woke up this morning, he had his shirt on.... couldn't find his jeans, they were in the bathroom, wet, then he took his belt out of his jeans and put it on over his shirt.....I'm sure she was using 'that tone of voice' with him by now, and all it does is confuse him further.... anyway, by the time I got there he was dressed, and she had to vent I guess, but sure wish she wouldn't do it in front of him.....So I made a joke and asked him if he had already been in trouble this morning... he laughed and crisis averted.....
But she has been friendly, not snapping at me, and even if she starts tomorrow , I know what to do... ignore her... guess if I am not getting upset, she doesn't accomplish what she wants and it's just not fun anymore.......
But Sonny seemed tired today... guess if he was up half the night, he should be tired.....
My son had another seizure.... the ER RN gave him some numbers to contact some agencies that can help him get medical care.... they did finally put him on dilantin (sp)and potassium.... That 'mama thing' I knew something was wrong and went by to see him before I went to work, didn't come to the door... went by after work.... and could tell by the way he sounded he had had another seizure..... so a few prayers for my hard headed son..... I do not know what it is going to take for him to start taking this serious.....
anyway, hope everyone had a day that didn't make them want to go screaming down the street.....
and Shawna, from now on, I will say old ladies, Cmag and Shawna, but sometimes girl you scare me how wise you are beyond your years......Guess you and Stormy are the youngest ones on here..... I can't even remember being 33 !!!!!!!
so, love to everyone... extra hugs and love to Jam this evening, and Seeme, I am missing you......hatm ( hugs across the miles)
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Hi all! I just thought I would jot a couple lines before going to sleep.
Brother finally called today to say he was home from his vacation...good that means he is not on my turf anymore and Mom can relax. But tonight I was disturbed by something that happened: Caregiver took mom shopping yesterday and when Mom came home she put her 3 cans of hairspray in her bedroom then forgot where they were. She said they were in the caregiver's car. When I spoke with caregiver last night he said Mom put the cans in her bedroom. Then mom talks to brother this evening, mentions she thinks she left the cans in caregiver's car, brother calls caregiver about the cans of hair spray (caregiver called me tonight to tell me brother called him). This once again is annoying me because it is a problem that is easily resolved with the parties involved HERE not almost two thousand miles away via phone call. Lo and behold, I walked into her room and found the cans just sitting there. My brother's favorite saying is "too many cooks in the kitchen" and I am tired of him being in the every day activity kitchen that I am in. I don't meddle in his financial kitchen (he handles my mom's finances) and therefore I don't want him in mine (well that WAS the agreement a year ago).
Well I am getting more caregivers in to help mom (one man, one female) to be here while I do my thing. I am being more assertive ~ telling her, not asking her~ and if she doesn't like it then she will have to stay home alone while I go out.
Someone mentioned to me that I do too much for my Mom and so I am cutting back a little bit. Although it takes her longer to search for a spoon to stir coffee in the morning, well, she has the time too look for it. I do feel relieved a bit letting go of all the things I was doing while she was ill and my brother was ruffling her feathers during his vacation and also on the other hand I feel sad because I really liked doting on her. I like spoiling anyone but not to the point that I am exhausted.
Speaking of exhausted, the heat today did me in. I came home this afternoon (class was canceled) and slept for over an hour and I don't usually do that in the afternoon. But the heat was next to unbearable. At least I am aware enough to keep drinking water. Not so tired from caring for Mom nor zapped by the heat to NOT take care of me. If I don't take care of me, no one will.
Oh yeah, and I went to Barnes and Noble and started holiday shopping. That felt good!
Good night all...thanks for listening to me vent. I appreciate it.
SDPeg
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Good morning ya'll, I don't think in the history of this thread were there ever fewer posts than yesterday.... come on ya'll, you are my life line to sanity.... or did I just not get notified???? Is this a conspiracy to leave Ladee out of the loop? I posted about my son having another seizure yesterday and no replies... hmmmm, love ya'll anyway
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Sorry Ladeeda I wasn't even on here hardly yesterday and I just got to this morning with everything going on with my niece. I hope your son is okay Ladeeda those are pretty scary my best friend in high school had them really bad and my teachers always made sure she was sitting next to me in school just in case she had one. I knew what to do and get her down on the ground and keep everything away from her so she didn't hit into it. I was in a good mood yesterday as I found out I ended up with five more orders for water bottles from the football cheerleaders. Which is great money in the pocket YAY ME lol then add in that my landlord wants to buy ornaments from me next month which means I DEFINITELY to get them soon lol
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I was gone for a while yesterday. I drove across the state line to get gas --- thirty-odd cents difference, so it's worth it when the state line is only about five minutes away. I'd gone to a cousin's to pick up some apples that they got for my mother and she went with me to get gas. On the way, she had little side errands to run, so we did those. Then, when I got gas, she told me that the gas was bad there because it had ethanol in it. I hated to be the one to tell her, but ALL gas has ethanol in it. And then, just as I think I'm going to get back, there was traffic gridlock on all the secondary roads around here because of a wreck on the interstate that shut down part of it for fifteen hours. Needless to say, I didn't get back before my mother awakened and about as fast as I got her breakfast to her, the cousin looked at the time and told me that she had to get home. The round trip took over an hour and a half, a trip that normally would take a half hour.

And the reason I'm telling all that is to say that I'm sorry I wasn't here to offer y'all support like I should. The one thing I can do when I'm stuck in traffic or running someone else's errands is pray. I do that on the way to the dump. Sometimes I wonder if God minds that it's easier for me to pray in the car than it is here at home, but I do it anyway. It's those times that I'm alone and I don't have to worry about who hears me or what I pray about.
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And now, before I have to get up from here, go back to reality and drive trash to the dump, I thought I'd give you all a giggle or two at my expense.

My mom's best friend lived about three hours away from us before we moved here. She offered to take my mom for a week so that I could get some deep cleaning done. So, I packed my mother up and all the CPAP and oxygen and mobility devices. I'd gotten almost everything loaded into the car and all I had left was her step.

I had on drawstring pants that day. I'd forgotten to tuck the drawstrings into my waistband, so when I picked up her step, guess what happened? Yep, you've got it. The knot at the end caught in a joint in the step. I didn't notice it until the bow pulled out and my pants dropped to the ground in the parking lot where we lived. And when I say to the ground, that's exactly what I mean. It was nice and sunny and about mid-afternoon when they dropped. My mother asked me what in the world I was doing when I tried desperately to get the car door around me so that I could regain my dignity. At that point, it really wasn't funny to me.

The next day, when I got back, I sent my best friend an e-mail and he thought it was hilarious. He told me that he'd have been torn between helping me get covered back up and laughing. Like he said, at least it was good underwear that showed, even if it was light and rosy.

Sometime I'll tell you about the evening my cell phone went lost. If this gives you a smile, that one will crack you up.
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And now it's off to the surgeon's office to see what can be done to get this incision back to healing properly.

If my stories are getting on anyone's last nerve, just tell me. I'll set them aside.
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good luck and not at all - drove back home and got in at midnight -G is still at the farm - will post more later - need a nap!
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Maybe we should start a thread on most embarrassing moments in caregiving, unless there's already one going.
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go for it - my BIG moments arent embarrassing so much a harassing - but I would read and enjoy - maya are u on facebook -I would love to see ur oics better
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ur pics -i mean - the old ones
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Ladee: I think you posed a good thought about your son. Maybe THIS time, this experience, will help him value his life more and he will follow doc's guidelines, recommendations, and take rx. I think that's the frustration of this group sometimes in regard to: hearing aids, glasses, lift chairs, wheel chairs, taking meds, eating, socializing ... I have come to accept that one can lead a horse to water but not make them drink. It saddens the rest of us, as you are with your son, that WE cannot make THEM see what WE see. Hopefully this has been a wake up call for your son; if not, we can pray that he will come to realize, along with all these other people that cause us stress by not seeing what we see, that his life is of value and he should (along with everyone else) be taking care of himself. To me that's the bottom line: do we value our lives enough to know that doctors, family, friends, caregivers etc care enough about us to care for us in ways they are equipped to do. I cannot make my mom want to live anymore than you can make your son value his life any more than others can incite a riot in our people to see their true value.
I am sorry you were scared as a mom, I can relate to that.
SDPeg
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ladee -sorry -started a post to you, lost it, still flaky from needing sleep, sdpeg said it well -hope that your son is waking up the the realities of his life and dewaling with the epilepsy. IIs he aware of any triggers? a friend had one seizure and was told she had to avoid fatigue, low blood sugar and flashing lights and she never had another one - I know not all are so fortunate and in some cases there may be no obvious triggers - that "mama" instinct - yup - definitely there -

hugs dear friend -glad that things with marie are better - more later
jo
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Jo: you are correct in observing for triggers. I had seizures at the age of 32 or 34 and the neurologist said it was from a "virus". I think they just said that because they didn't find anything and I had not been sick HOWEVER I told them that my blood pressure goes up like crazy when I consume any caffeine but they didn't believe me even when I showed them. Since then (many eons later) I do watch my coffee consumption and monitor my heart rate. I was told at the time that flashing lights may affect me. We can't avoid those though ~ flourescent lights cause flickering unconsciousness and we can't control that. I have those lights in every classroom!
I don't have HBP but one never knows when it will jump up and bite you in the butt later on in life.
The "mama" instinct is good to listen to.
I, too am losing posts and that's frustrating.
Full day ahead of mom care and studying...catch you all later
SDPeg
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Well, dad is taking a nap so i thought i would write to ya'll. He has coughed up 3 mucus plugs. For ya'll that do not know what that is: well for one thing it is GROSS and the other thing it is dried mucus balls that are grey looking that resembles little brains. That's what i call them sometimes i will call up sis and tell well dad coughed up a little brain today. One time he had one that looked like bats wing and he says that he coughed up a a$$hole. Fun stuff!!!!!!! But not much going on here just the same old stuff different day. The doctor gave him cipro for his bacterial infection. Still don't know what kind it is. But it is a 10 day supply 2 a day and he is on his 3rd day of it. He still has been complaining with his neck feeling irratated but not as much as before and it does look better so maybe something is helping and we have been putting anti fungal cream around his neck. Oh and another thing to gross ya'll out is that we have been putting antifungal cream on his toenails and his big toenails look like they are about to fall off they are coming away from the nail bed. Yuck! And now i have got to go check them out and see what they are doing so i will talk to ya'll later. Love and hugs stormyyyy
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Well, I must have GROSSED EVERYONE OUT! There have been no posts since mine earlier today. I hope none of ya'll are hugging the toilet! If you are, I'm sorry.... Love and Hugs Stormyyyyyyyy
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Good Evening Posse!

Wanted to check in and tell everyone hello and to let you know that even though I haven't been responding, I have been reading. We've had a couple of rough nights with the col. Night before last, she was up and wandering all night, drinking cups of hot water, calling it coffee. Got her back to bed, turned off the tv, removed the remote and she slept finally. Told her last night her tv wasn't working and she stayed in bed all night. So perhaps that's a start....no more bright light and screaming volume. We are hiring more help and she is on the waiting list at the NH. OMG.........the prices per month have gone sky high. Sorry, she's into something.....gotta run.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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I am sorry but I need to vent right now. It might seem inconsequential to my siblings well most of my siblings but it bothers me. Today is mom's 83rd birthday she is doing good we spent the day together just her and I though mother nature decided to be a beotch in more ways than one that time of the month and it poured today. So between being in extreme amounts of pain from cramps I couldn't take her out on her walk like she wanted. But she said she is okay with that as long as I spent time with her. Which I did i make her breakfast I said happy birthday to her and kissed and hugged her. My sister Jeanne called AND texted her to wish her a happy birthday. Did anyone else in the family ... nope not ONCE its now 8 o clock they know not to call after a certain time cause mom gets tired and I try to get her ready for bed. My sister Kathy won't be caling cause she lays down for a couple hours before work which she now works at 9 ... but did they have the decency to call her to wish her a happy birthday NO. Yes I know Kathy got her a melter which I have to get some things for that as the scents she gave her are a bit too flowery for mom mom likes spice and ever greens so I have contacted someone who I can get the ones she wants for it. I also asked E if she could take me to the store so I could at least get cupcakes for mom for her birthday to celebrate but nope never got an answer cept say shes busy. FINE see if I can be unbusy when she needs something considering i used my dryer this morning to dry her clothes cause hers is not working. I am REALLY tired of getting used and abused here. I tell you if it weren't for the great grandkids mom and I'd be moving quite fast down south to Tenn where I had a chance for a nice job. Good pay and its a lower price to live. I am sick of selfish ungrateful people. I really AM!
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Stormy, not a lot grosses me out, but I was eating a late lunch and was reading your post, needless to say, it is still in the fridge, maybe you could also add a disclaimer when you are going to get graphic.... then I can come back and read it later.... ewwwwwwwww
Shawna, ask your mom what she wants to do.... you may be surprised, and there is always Skype for her to see and talk to the kids......Life is too short sweetie, do some things and go some places you want before you can't..... sorry the family is being so insensitive.... tell her ladee said Happy Birthday, give her a hug and kiss for me...... a great big Texas hug.......sounds like it is time for you to start tellling them what's on your mind....... you have nothing to loose at this point..... maybe not in front of mom, but I wouldn't hold back anymore.... hugs to you this evening......
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Shawna that is awful that your sibs could not even call your mom up on her 83rd birthday. How long would that take to wish her a happy birthday. I know that was difficult for you to deal with. Because i would want to call them up and cuss them out and i'm sure you wanted to do the same. Not to mention how that must have hurt your mom. I cant write much about that cause it hurts my heart to think of how she must have felt. Some kids can be so selfish I know i have a brother like that, he only wants to help me and my sis out when it is a conveniece(sp?) for him. And that is a hard pill to swallow not to cuss them out and say this is your father or mother too. You should take on some of the load too. But Shawna remember this YOU will have no regrets in the end. They will...... If they have a conscience. And sometimes your own mind is your worst enemy in cases like this. Sending my love and ((((((hugs)))))) to your mom for her 83rd Birthday. Please give her a hug for me and tell her a special friend wanted to give her a hug for her birthday. What i wouldn't give to hug my mom one more time. Love and hugs to you too shawna. Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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sdpeg -glad u had no more seizures -i can't handle much caffeine either - used to be the way some places make it, 1/2 a cup and I couldn't breathe right -seem to handle it a bit better now
stormy - coconut oil and tea tree oil also are good for the toenail fungus - applied to the nail - guess you haven't heard any more from the doc or am I really out of date here?
shawna -time to say No - to those users in ur family - really and truly -just No -glad u r sellng more water bottles -where ever lol -and i agree with ladee - go where u want
jam -it is getting worse isn't it? glad the col is on the list for an NH
ladee - hope today went well and ur son is OK - doesn't matter how miserable they are -they are still ur kid and u worry
maya -what happened at the doc re ur mum's incision - read the Yule guest -oh my - beautiful poetry - did not know about his rascal side

where is everyone? -ahh a few checking in

posted my Park pics on face book - and a few of the horses pastured near there -about only useful thing i did - tired today -couldn't sleep but not good for much
the park is lovely and worth a return visit when it is open. Loved the country side nearby -rolling hills and rust/gold leaves and the red dogwoods -very different than up here which is basically spruce bog on either side of the highway. drove back last night as farmer Johns's smelt so badly of stale smoke i couldn't hack it - when his mum was there she wouoldn't let him smoke inside but she left a few days ago - was going to stay over night to spend a little more time with my man but just couldn't - took a nap and hit the road - took me an hour on the road before i could breathe deep. G is still at the farm doing prewinter stuff and is now spending most of next week being oriented to the new job in the big cities south of us so who knows when he will be home - certainly not him or the guys who are arranging this -seems all off the cuff -as long as they pay it doesn't matter!
Hopefully we all will have a good weekend
Love, hugs and prayers♥♥♥
jo
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Oh Shawna -Happy Birthday to your mum from the Frozen North!!!
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Shawna I'm so sorry.....unfortunately it seems like we all have an idiot or two in the family. Give Mom a hug and sing Happy Birthday to her! And why can't you go where you could have more opportunities and the chance to be happy? Making changes are a little intimidating, but sometimes that is exactly what needs to be done.
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Shawna.....Happy Birthday to mom !!!!!!!

Ladee.....how could I not know about your son and siezures? I swear I didn't know......

Maya....stories are wonderful....keep em coming.....

Jam......whatever the cost, it is worth it for your sanity....

I actually talked to my bi-polar sister for the first time in a long time....a whole hour......with no screaming.........she must have wanted to talk about her son's death a couple of years ago and asked about all that had been wrong with mom and what caring for her was like. She didn't know to what extremes it had gotten.....cause she hadn't seen mom in 20 years or so. Me either for that matter. She still referred to mom and dad by their first names....like aquaintances instead of her parents. Found out today that she called to talk to mom as she lay dying and someone at the switchboard told her to call back in 20 min, which she did, but I answered the phone then and mom had been dead for 20 min. I would have refused her request at that time anyway. Long, sad story. And all this after I had priced a lot of mom's clothes for the yard sale. Wish I had just given them to the Good Will.

Tomorrow we are going fishing off a pier. There is no jumping allowed off the pier, but nothing is said about being thrown or dragged off, so wish me luck. I'd like to catch something bigger than my first finger. Later................
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What happened is that my mother is being passed off to another surgeon who will be under the one who is SUPPOSEDLY her surgeon, who we haven't seen since she was in the hospital. The one she has been seeing is going on to another specialty and then, back to Chicago. Uh huh.

In the middle of it all, I began to have some really awful chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack, but no one asked me if I needed help. Cousin's wife thought I was making it up. I still don't feel right, but with no medical insurance, I can't afford to go to a doctor myself. The first thing that they ask you here is what medical insurance you have. If you haven't any, they won't even make an appointment with you. So, I'm just praying to outlive my mother by one day so that she'll be taken care of. That's my goal --- just one day beyond. I can't depend on any of her other kids to be there. If I dare to mention my health issues, they dismiss them and tell me that they're sorry, but they don't have time to listen. I still don't feel right.

emjo --- here's a link for you. Read through them and see how he responds when she begins to press him for marriage. You'll see what I mean.
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Ladee- So sorry i didn't see on here about your son having the seizure. Sometimes i don't get a chance to read all the posts and i just come back a day or two later and read up. That is a terrifying experience i know connor had one about a year and a half ago and we were at my dads (of course) taking care of him luckly my sister was there to help me because it was all i could do to call 911 and talk to that lady. I have never talked so fast in my life. And connor was just limp i won't say what was going through my mind because i do not like to talk about it; it scares me. But connor's fever got to high 102 is what the thermometer said. So if he gets a fever i start freaking out. And i have seizures also i did not develop mine until i was like 19 or 20 yrs old but i have only had like 5 or 6 in all. My last one was in 99' and now i know what my mom was talking about when she said that the seizures scared her to death when i would have one. Sorry you are having to go through that and hopefully your son will try to take better care of himself so he doesn't scare the living day lights out of his mom. ((((((((hugs))))))))))))stormyyyyy
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emjo --- here's a link for you. I liked "The Eavesdropper" and "Behind The Arras" about as soon as I read them. I can't tell you why his poetry speaks to me, but it does.


I used to be on Facebook, but then, I had an old teacher make a remark about what I look like now. It made me more than a little uncomfortable, so left it alone. Then, when I heard from an old classmate, it made my best friend more than a little uncomfortable and I gave it all up together.
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