This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
It doesn't really matter whether you go in the winter or in the summer, the weather's generally nice and the people are even nicer.
Want to be treated like you're a queen? Go into that konditorei and order a Coke. You sit at marble-topped tables on velvet chairs. Your drink is brought to you in a crystal glass on a silver platter. Or order a kaffe and some pastry. You get waited on like you're the most important person in the world. Then, take a carriage ride though Alt Salzburg. Go up to the fortress above the river --- Hohensalzburg. Go to the festivals that they have all summer long.
I didn't want to leave, to be honest.
LOL!
2009 wasn't such a good year.
Salzburg sounds wonderful - I have not been to Austria
I know you had that chest pain -how is it. In women chest pain is not a common symptom for heart disease - there too we are different to men
praying for you - and some medical care
that was such a cute picture!!!
Switzerland, Florida. Texas, islands off Portugal -sure any and all
I took her husband out to the first place we lived in Germany on a day trip. He didn't get it when I told him that trains leave on the minute and that we had to hurry. We ended up waiting another hour for the next one to Gelnhausen. Uncle wanted to go get a cup of coffee, so we went to the only McDonald's in Frankfurt. The only problem was that it was in the red light district located just across the street from the bahnhof. Uncle was alternately fascinated and appalled by the hookers and the live show advertisements. He took pictures of it all. My mother's sister was furious.
I still haven't lived that one down.
I say that because the uncle who took the pictures of the hookers spent the two weeks that they were there trying to convince me to convert and become a nun. He thought a convent where everyone is silent was the ticket for me. I loved Uncle, but if you knew my family, you'd know that giving up talking would be an impossibility for me.
maya you do NOT belong in a convent!!! -your grandaunt must have been very grand for people ti be interested in her laryngitis -google earth is a great way to revisit when you can't go
Ever hear a song by Janie Fricke called "She's Single Again"? The first time my mother and I heard it, we looked at each other and said "Ann!" Then we cracked up. When she was between husbands, she'd go down the road smoking a cigarette like it was something illegal. She said that it was a good way to meet new men.
I'm just wondering how big her marker is going to have to be. I think ALL of her names need to be on it, along with any alias she's used as well. She liked being the center of attention, so that would really get her noticed, don't you think?
My best friend told me that he doesn't consider cousins marrying to be immoral. He just thinks it's genetic suicide.