The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

ros - ((((hugs)))) when the govt just takes from people like you something is really wrong - hope the talk with your bro goes well
maya - your attorney gave you good advice - I hate the way things are in my family too, but reality has to be faced and you have to do what makes sense - in your case that would appear to be you having POA - medical and financial. Your nieces behaviour is very disrespectful and likely to lead her into more encounters with the law
vic -glad u got a break -even a small one and one with hubby - and that dad is having a few good days
sdpeg - hopefully gettng your degree wqill see you more employable and eventually in better financial ground
mis - Happy Birthday to grandma -nice cake
cmag -hope the roof gets fixed before the nest rain - let us know about the meeting
stormy where are u?
shawna -hope your cold is better
jam - hope everyhthing is hunky dory at the NH
everyone -let us now how you are
here no moose yet, as far as I know, getting caught up on my sleep thankfully, eventually these pesky relatives fade into perspective -remember that maya!
23 degrees so walks on the trail are out for a while -better get out for a mall crawl or even better yet - think i will have lunch and a nap
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo

Well I called my brother today and I had the HUGE luck that my sister in law answered the phone (she is much more reasonable than him) and when I told her the story she said immediately: "We are going to lend you some money" so it was as smooth as oil... Lucky me.
Tomorrow I'll go to an office to try to know how much more money the government will steal from us before the end of the year....So next month I will be more prepared to my destiny!

There is the Biblical Flood in Italy...

Hi Everyone, how are you all doing? Ros, sorry to hear about the government, they'll get you anyway you turn..

Question for all, do any of you have idea why seniors keep getting UTI's? My Mother in law has had one on going for the past year, they get it cleared up and it's right back again. she's taken just about every antibiotic there is.

We're still in desert hot spring, CA.. not sure when we are getting out of here

Ros: just curious, why is the government taking money? Is some owed from years ago? Glad you got a loan; those help!!! And kind people help as well.
Starri: I was wondering that myself. I have heard many seniors who get the same thing and couldn't quite figure out why.
Maya: my brother has had POA for years and no one knew it until recently. I am not fighting for that anymore (in my case, it keeps my sanity not to have it) as I was before. I live with my mom and share her life's experiences now and that's all I want at this time. Besides, my brother wants POA and so does my mom want him to have it, so it was a losing battle. I have to choose those battles or go insane!!!
Car fixed, picked up Friday, today it needs a new battery. Oh well, that's doable. It is raining and cold (for CA) and dreary and I really am getting a lot of homework done. That's because my tv is off!!!
I am also accomplishing doing laundry.
I am looking forward to a break in less than six weeks ... more time for me.
Mom is doing well on her meds, yes, as advised, I am enjoying it while I can. I went into her room/bed to chat this morning and we both fell back to sleep until noon. So refreshing!!!
I got a free frozen turkey yesterday at the casino mom and I visited. It was just up the road from where we get her coveted lemon turnovers. Too bad I didn't thaw it out ... yummy for a day such as today.
Mom wants to do Christmas if only desserts and gift exchange. That's good. She even said she was "happy" the other day. Woo hoo ... I want the meds she is on, that's for sure!!! I have the Pollyanna disposition so that's helping her mood as well. I really do try to find something to be glad about ... I am glad for you all being here. I cannot thank you enough.
SDPeg

Well gang it was a quiet freezing day here. Working on ideas and such. Got invited to a Santa Workshop on the 19th of this month maybe I will sell a bunch of stuff YIPEE yeah I know I have to give some of it to the booster club but its money. Austin is so adorable! I will get to meet him next weekend as we are going to sisters for dinner. can't wait to meet the lil bugger. Have the plaque set up all ready to go. Just got to wait for it to get here. Hope everyone had a Nice weekend...

Peg it is very simple. Until 2 years ago, the sum that my mother took yearly for the retirement (as ex-teacher) was under a certain level where you don't pay taxes. Now, she has an extra sum of money from Social Security, for disability. The check that she has for disability, added to the sum that she had before (as an ex teacher) puts her in the cathegory of people who have to pay taxes. What I don't understand is why last year she paid 1200 euros, and this year she has already paid 2300 euros and it seems we have not finished yet. And the worst thing is that they decided to get most of this sum all together, leaving us without money for one month. I want to go to an office tomorrow to have some information (there is nothing to do - they are not giving us our money back - but I want to know what will happen in December. Will they take away 200 more euros? 1000 euros? 2500 euros? How many taxes do we still have to pay?) This is a mystery... There is no rational explanation why her taxes multipliedx2 from one year to another.
Do you think they give a damn that my mother is disabled? (If she gets money from Social Security it means she is disabled...). No, they don't give a damn. She is disabled so she has to pay more taxes!!!!!

I don't know if you have heard about Berlusconi, he is the head of our government. No wonder 90% of Italian people would like to kill him by stones.

Ohhh those taxes.
Icky.
I hope you get the answers you want. At least you are telling them you want to be prepared for upcoming months.
thank God for those who loan money ... that's for sure ... I have been on both sides of that fence.
SDPeg

ros - are you goiung to ask therm about the extra they have taken off this year -it does seem excessive - like doubled

Starri.......howdy girl!


Try this link and see if it explains your questions on recurrent UTI's.

Jam: I love when people post a link that we can look at. It broadens our horizons. Thank you, SDPeg

Thanks Jam, will pass on this link to my sister in law

Hey everyone I hope all of you are doing ok. Not much has been going on with dad lately. Just the same old stuff. He is still having trouble swallowing his foods and liquids. And some has come out of his trach. He goes for his swallow study tomorrow @ 1:00. Then they will send the results to the dr that ordered the study. He is the one that has been doing dads throat stretching. It's just been a very busy few weeks and it will be like that at least until after thanksgiving. A very hectic time. Dad had a few drs appt last week. No new news. Same old shi$. Then we have got our church bazaar the last of this week. Will have to do a bunch of baking and cooking for that. Then got to get on the ball to planning connor's 5th birthday party. Me and sis are going to try to make him a spongebob b-day cake. With a few of the other characters from spongebob. So we are still racking our brains about that. We are talking about taking a bunch of starbursts and molding them into the characters that we need. We are doing this because their are sooo many different colors and we would spend alot of time tinting the icing the color that we need. But if ya'll have any pointers on what we could use for other things for the cake i am all ears. We are planning on having his party the 19th. the day before his birthday at his daycare-because they have a playground and it would be the perfect place to have one. So we are going to rent the playground area. I just pray it doesn't rain. They do have a picnic area with tables that is covered if it does start to rain. Just kinda jumping around tonight from topic to topic. Went to check on dad today and he was running a temperature it was 99.0 but i had already given him some tylenol a few minutes before i checked his temp. And it was sooo hot when i went in there. And he was cold he must have been having a chill. So his temp was probably higher before i gave him the tylenol. He just said he was feeling bad today. I'm going to send this off before i lose it. Hugs stormyyyyy

Hey i'm back i think i told ya'll that my brother had gone to the dermatologist about a place that had come up on his ear. Well they done a biospy of it and they found out that it was skin cancer. Well he got the results back wednesday that it was not basal cell carcinoma, but squamous cell carcinoma a worse kind of skin cancer. But not as bad as melanoma. So when he got the call this week his dr told him that they were going to have to go back in his ear to try to get more of the cancer cells out, but he doesn't go back to them until the first week in dec. I am still trying to process this, that this awful disease has yet again affected my family. And just wondering what lies ahead for my family. My brother will turn 50 nov 17th. He has been doing really good lately going to church, reading the bible, going to worship services at different churches, he has quit drinking and smoking. He is a totally different person now. A much pleasant one that he is not drinking. And now we get this news of the skin cancer. He went on the emmanus walk(sp?) and he came back a changed man. I pray that he stays this way. Away from the drinking. He is going to need his new found faith to get him through this new chapter in his life. I just pray that the drs got it all. We probably will not know any more until some time in dec. It just worries me because the lady that use to do my hair. She is like 55 or 56 and they found melanoma on her and they found cells in one of her lymph nodes and now they have told her that she is going to need chemo. And she is a health nut. No smoking, drinks occasionally, exercises and is a vegetarian. And now she is facing this at such a early age. It is just scary... I'm just worried about my brother now... Love and hugs to you all!!!!!!! Stormy........

morning ya'll... Ro, go find out what is going on with the taxes... and yes we have some here in the states that a few rocks would take care of.... but I'm not using any of MY rocks..... happy to hear sil was loving and understanding..... Hope things start to improve for you.... just too much stress..... love ya....

Hi all..Ro so glad you were able to get a loan without too much flak. Hope you get some answers you can work with.
Stormy..my dad has those same skin cancers ... Sometimes they are deep so they have to make sure they get the area. He goes to dermatologist every 3 to 6 months depending.
Hope you all have the best day possible as this Happy Monday starts! Love love....will try to check in later

Good afternoon. Here is my update about the family care meeting with folks at the nursing home today. In the past, it has been just me along with my step dad or just me who met with the nursing home staff. Today, my mother wanted the meeting held in her room. So, we did. She immediately told us that she is ready to go home after being there 2 months which we know is not true for it has been almost 3 years. She claimed she could get out of the bed and into a wheel chair which we know is not true. The social worker said that she could understand my mother's feelings and encouraged her to focus that energy on making progress to be less dependent via PT. When mom mentioned back pain, the PT person said we can deal with that. I mentioned that those lower back muscles are going to hurt since it has been a long time since she has stood up and walked. She blames all of that on the nursing home, but my mother is the type who likes to be begged into accepting help. My step dad and I were asked for our opinions about my mother going home. Both of us said it would be nice but I was very hesitant about safety issues. The social worker outlined a plan, (like she has done before last Christmas but this time in more detail), that you work with PT on being more independent and then we can do a safety check on the house and try going home for a few days to see if everything works out. This made a lot of sense to my step-dad, but mom was not so happy about the idea. Mom and I visited some afterwards. I encouraged her to work with PT and I would continue to work on my weight. She did not respond. She does not like that social worker but likes the PT person. One problem with her going home is that my step-dad's helper is only there from 11 pm until 2pm. That would require enough independence from mom to use a bedside toilet. It would also require mom remembering to take her meds which was the biggest problem when she was home before. Also, my step-dad is confined to his wheel chair and has congestive heart failure. Although my mother has heard this before, I reminded mom that she broke her hip and she came to the nursing home in hopes of rehab to walking like she did in rehab after her stroke, neither of which she remembers. When I left her room, she asked me to talk with the social worker about her getting out on Friday to go shopping as if she had not heard a thing about needing to be able to get in and out of a wheel chair as well as a car. I went by my step-dad's and he thought it was a good meeting. He was glad mom had a chance to vent, which she's done before without him there. His helper, like me, is not sure if mom will work with PT.

Sunday, my dad called to tell me that the doctors found that he has an irregular heart beat. They have started him on blood thinner and after three weeks they are going to try electric therapy on him. He wants to go to assisted living and has long term insurance to pay for it as does his wife who is in her 4th or 5th year of pulmonary fibrosis. However, his wife does not want to leave her house. Dad is 85 and I don't know how old my step-mother is, but probably like my mother 80 or so. I'm not sure how much real good our meeting accomplished today, but I was glad that the social worker and the PT person went into as much detail as they did.

Good Afternoon Posse!

Raining here and from what the local channels are telling us, we are supposed to get enough rain today, tonight and tomorrow to equal what would be normal rain in a month. Good for the pond!

CMag....glad to hear the meeting went fairly well. We are having the first care plan meeting on Thursday for the col. I think at this first meeting, it would be important that she not be there. Or at least for the part where we discuss that she isn't coming home. Like your mother, she is insistent that she can move without assistance, and we all know that isn't true. She's only been there 2 weeks tomorrow but in her mind she has been there for months. It would be nice to be able to see enough improvement to where they could function at home, but we all know the reality is just the opposite.
Will you be involved with the decision with your Dad and his wife, or giving support from the sidelines? I don't know about you, but I hate being the bad guy and having to say no, you can't come home now.

Well, I need to get busy and get a collage made for the col's wall. I know which pictures I want to use, just have to find them.

Hope everyone is having a great day.....will check back later

Love and Hugz,
Jam

Jam, my dad and his wife live about a 7 hour drive away from me. Her daughter and son in law who is helping them a lot. All, I can do is support my dad from the sidelines. He's already planning his funeral eulogy by having my step-sister make a movie from 150 slides about his life. I did have medical POA for my dad, but a few years ago, he decided to give it to my step-sister who lives there. She is also the durable POA and the executrix of their estate which upon both of their deaths will be split 1/2 for me and the other 1/2 for my two step-siblings.

I think we are in for a long road with my mother given her poor memory and poor track record for working with PT. She's going to get angry at the staff and probably get angry with me for not being able to get her out of there. I think my step-dad is seeing reality, but I don't know how he will react to her anger.

Cmag.....I am so glad to hear that your step-sister is taking such an active role, makes your mind rest easier I'm sure. Is your mother's mind in a place where she will forget her anger? So many times I had the col blow up on me, call me every name in the book, and then 10 min later she was gushing over me about how good I was to her and took such good care of her. Maybe with your mom seeing the passage of time in such an unrealistic way, she will continue as she is without knowing how much time has really passed. That's what I am hoping for the col. She called us last night at her dinner time and we kept trying to tell her she was missing her dinner, and she insisted she had just eaten 2 hours earlier. We finally got her off the phone and called the nh and had someone go get her, apparently she had just walked to her room instead of going on into the dining room. Sometimes I think a loss of time might not be such a bad thing.....lol.

Hi all. A rough day here. Mom's denial is so very hard to deal with but ....I can;t fix everything, can I? I have to deal with some business matters for Mom and she is making it impossible. I feel a bit like others, not much to say tonight. Just glad the day is over.

On of my neighbors sends me "Fwd"s on a regular basis. I thought I'd share this one with all of you:

The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold winter.
It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS.
Three of my friends have disappeared.
Are you O.K.?

Nite all. Get some sleep! Carolyn

Not doing all that great today. I hate the holidays. My husband who has dementia and my mother who has dementia cause me problems. My sibling won't invite me and husband over and she takes Mom so then we are left to my own devices to find someone to have the holidays with. We have few friends and relatives live far away. We are too poor and disabled to go very far to a dinner. I am disabled from a car accident. We live in the middle of nowhere. My favorite day is December 26. Any suggestions?

hey all today was a very good day. It was actually nice not too cold. Mom had her doctor appointment and we went grocery shopping with my sister. Yeah she had comments about the house well its clean enough for mom and I so THERE. Anyway Doc says she is doing good looks good eats good blood sugar and BP is good. No problems with breathing and her weight is just right. He says she looks very good and gave me a hug and said I was doing a good job .. taht if it weren't for me she wouldn't be here and I take good care of her. He does this each time we see him (which is every three months) He's taken to doing it a lot because of the problems we had with the nurses last December. He dont and I don't want them in my house PERIOD. I don't trust them I don't like them and that's it. He even had it out with them last Dec for trying to accuse me of abusing my mother... he was pretty mad. Anyway he says she'd doing good ... Had her checked for UTI before we came all clear there. I keep her drinking cranberry juice it helps A LOT! I don't like the taste because it does send my throat to burning but I will drink a glass ocassionaly to help. Got lots of groceries told sister to stuf it when she made comment about our freezer chest. Well we need it its easier this way I can stock up and not worry. Well working on designs for the 19th not sure how we are doing this .. she wants me to have some cash and carry stuff and stuff to make orders so we will see. Going to see Austin Sunday can't wait....

Stormy I am so sorry for this new problem in your life. I hope Connor's party is Ok and you have a pleasant day. I know you are strong and you can deal with all of this, but of course I hope in better days for you (and for me and everyone else of course)
Brandy... I am so sorry for you, too. We don't have Thanksgiving in Italy but sure we have Christmas, and it is so sad when the rest of the family doesn't invite you because your mother has Alzheimer! Try to have a pleasant day anyway. I am sure you will find a decent way to spend the day!
Ladee, I went to the wrong office today. I am going to another one tomorrow and I shall try to have some explanations about what happened, and how much money they will take from us in December. I am afraid it will be a lot of money. You can't fight with the government.

Bee....I'm still here, but there are several we haven't heard from....hmmmmm!
brandy.....gee, sis comes and gets Mom but leaves you and hubby. Just make sure you have food in the house to prepare a meal for you and your husband and then take advantage of one less dementia person to care for. Just enjoy the quiet time with your husband. Or you said you have a few friends....would they be receptive to coming to your house for dinner? Try potluck. Doesn't have to be traditional meals, just sharing friendship is the important thing.

Yeah .that is a good idea Brandy this year we usually go to my sister Kathy's for Thanskgiving I just did NOT want to do that this year. Too much hassel too much grief. So I am making it at home .... just mom and I at first. Then my sis Jeanne is coming now with her friend and her daughter two grandkids and a friend so ... its going to be a niceeeee day.

tried posting and lost it - my own doing - too tired now, so will do better tomorrow
no moose - I am thankful this week - Gary was up half of last night and isn't home yet - some incident out at the plants - and his back pack was stolen from his truck -lots of hunting gear in it - rangefinder, knives etc - leaving some supper out for him and heading to bed - loads and loads of laundry done, italian sausage and pasta made, rice pudding made, bed changed, some area rugs shaken outside ... maybe I am getting some energy back - nite all - ttyl

Oh Brandy I hadn't understood. At least your mother has been invited! Well that's something. You will know that she is well and you won't worry about her. That's not entirely bad, after all!

Jam, I do not believe mom's mind is at the point where she will forget her anger. She wants out. She wanted to go shopping Sat. and wants to go Friday. It is as if she did not hear a word the social worker told her about increasing mobility before going home which includes before going out for a trip to shop. My step-dad also said that today provided mom a chance to vent her feelings which was good.

I slept for about two hours and can't go back to sleep right now. Our youngest son is out of state in college and his used car broke down in a parking lot yesterday, late in the day. He had it towed to a garage and the person driving the tow truck was nice enough to take him back to campus. I sure hope it can be fixed without costing too much or we will have to get him another, but younger used car. The car just died on him and will not crank back up. What a mess!