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did I finally get a cow pattie? lol, think I got it.
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Starri,haven't been here for months and you got the cow pattie, talk about timing.....
Jam thanks for the info on carbon monoxide, is some twisted way it does make me feel better to know he did not know what was happening... he did try to get out tho, they found him by the door.... just can't think about it too much, the fire, without just coming undone...
CG10, Lord do we all know about anxiety.... and a lupus survivor.... good for you... so you already know not to get too tired... are you on any anxiety meds??? maybe it is time to check into that... I take them, and I'm sure quite a few here do too... come back and let us know how you are....
It has been a very long day, I am just now getting home, but wanted to check in and tell ya'll I love ya and could feel ya'll with me today.... will try to get caught up in the morning, and tell everyone hi... for now, am going to find something to eat and put my feet up.....
hugs, angels and much appreciation for ya'll... I can do this because I have ya'll...
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((((((Ladee))))) I'm glad that your home, you can rest now. Take things as easy as you can. Know in your heart we love you and are there with you. CG10 Ladee is offering good advice, check into medications to help with the anxiety meds if you are not on them already. I take them plus more.

Haven't really meant to be gone as long as I have from here, you all were my saving Angels during mom's last weeks.
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Hey Shawna, while my mind is still working, wanted to tell you Thank you, received the mugs today and absolutely love them, the graphic's and the quality of the mug it's self. I'm going to really enjoy these.. Hubby loves his too.
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Welcome CG10. One day at a time is what my friends all tell me. Sometimes, it's one minute at a time if that's all you can master. Hugs.
I'm a big chicken. Mom took the papers for her med refills so that should mean she's handling it. After hearing her yell at my Dad tonight about a piece of paper that missed the watebasket, I don't even want to deal with her. Both my parents are very self-sufficent yet. Right now, they're here with me more because it's close to the hospital than because they need daily care. We can't leave Mom alone because she's a fall risk, but she can still get around pretty well. She's holding so tight to being able to do for herself (or make my Dad do it), that I'm not sure when to push and take over. I guess I'll somehow know when the time comes. If I even suggest that she forgot something, she freaks, because she fears that's one of the signs of the cancer growing. And it is, but my sister says she was already somewhat forgetfull before this and she hasn't been here long enough for me to know what is normal for her or worsening.
Did put my foot down about Dad's pre op tests tomorrow. I have plans for the evening that were set up months ago. I am not taking off work just to sit at home with her while he goes. And I'm not cancelling my plans, either. She's pushed almost everyone away who would help, and she doesn't seem interested yet in getting home care. So she will go with him and just sit there in the waiting room. And have to wear a mask because it's her "germ" week, when she's most likely to catch a bug and get sick. As my punishment, now she say's I shouldn't come to her doctor appointments, but I will continue to go because I need to know exactly what is going on with her care.
I look forward to reading the post everynight. It really helps.
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Dear Ladee, it is so difficult to accept life and its "surprises", every now and then. We figure out how our life will be, and how will be the life of our friends and relatives, and then all over sudden one of these lightnings strike us and we hadn't see them coming and we are shocked because in our mind, things like that shouldn't ever happen. And it is always so so hard to see a person who is younger than you, leave before you. I am glad at least you have Faith and one day you will be able to find a meaning and accept a thing so tragic. I haven't the same Faith so I have to go on without finding a meaning... Faith or no faith, anyway, the grief is always terrible!
Notlikemom: I agree that you leave your mother a certain degree of freedom, if her mind still works well and she wants to take care about her medicines, I think it is right she does it. I don't know if you can manage to supervise her without her noticing it! My mother is in control of nothing, and I miss the independent mother I once had. She had a hell of a temper, but she was very strong and active and now she is not even in condition of warming herself up a glass of milk.
ASG: I am sorry you couldn't take a break. It is the same for me and I am so tired and stressed out that I snap at everybody, I snap even at kids - which I have never done in my life - If I lose patience with kids it means I am really stressed out. But I see no breaks in the near future! So I only hope I continue to be strong enough. Starry I see that you really enjoy your "on the road" life... When you have finished the USA you have Europe and a lot of world to see!
Caregiver 10, I agree with Jam, maybe you shall have to find another solution for your mother. My mother has the same disease as yours and tonight I caught her eating a glove because she was hungry. She can't definitely be left alone, unless she is sound asleep!
Thanks everybody for your solidarity about my cat's death. He was a sweet boy and I sure will miss him. He was not the one who followed me in the bathroom - that one is Cocaine. Nino was the one who wanted to be kissed every night! He was the only one. I don't have other pets who want to be kissed as much. He was such a good cat - adored by my dogs - that I am sure he is in Cat's heaven now!
Good night everybody.
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Notlike, I know it's hard, but try to allow your Mom as much freedom as she can still handle, My Mom was one for trying to keep her freedom, I can't tell you the number of times I had been disowned for telling her doctor's the truth about what was going on with her, but I tried my best to allow her to maintain what freedom I could. Time will be soon enough that you can't. Her last few weeks, I could not.

Ros, been thinking about you, hoping you were doing well, do you have anyone else that is able to help you with Mom? you can't have eyes in the back of your head all the time to watch what is going on. Sorry about your kittie, I know that you miss him. Squeek is doing well, I'll be happy though when we get to a place that I can actually let her run for a while. She's had to either be in the camper, in the place we were staying or on a lead.. I take her for walks but it's not the same as her getting to chase birds or stalk the dogs. She tries to pounce them as they walk by, but it's hard when she has gotten herself wrapped up around something.

How this cat manages to get herself so tangled around things I have no clue..
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Hey everyone sorry i have been mia. I have been trying to put a 1000 piece christmas puzzle together before christmas gets here. I guess as part of my decoration. But i like doing them anyway. Me and my mom and sis used to get together and put puzzles together years ago. And we always had a good time doing it. So that's where i have been. Nothing new on the front with dad same old, same old.
JAM- Thanks for relaying what the ct scan report said.
Dad did see his ent dr today and really the only thing he said was that he would like for dad to see the dr that done the trach on him. Why? I'm not really sure. The only thing that he said was that he couldn't understand why dads neck was staying so wet all the time. I know why cause he is constantly coughing up mucus. But going back to see that dr at duke is a joke and a waste of time and gas. Then the ent dr said well i don't know who is keeping up with his albumin levels. All i know about albumin levels is that it has something to do with the bone. And if the levels are high in children that is good cause their bones are still growing but bad if it is high in the elderly. Because their levels should be low cause their bones are not growing anymore. I guess saying maybe indicating (bone cancer) for some people. Dad's levels were low last time he had blood work done. And he goes back the 27th of this month to have his blood work done and to check his tsh levels to see if they have gone back up some or to see if he is still hyperthyroid. Well, need to get back on the puzzle some before bed.
Ladee- I am so very sorry about your nephew. It is a tragedy. You and your family are in my prayers. Love and (((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Sweetie. Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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Hey Stormy, sorry to hear that things are not going better for dad. I've been working puzzles online, there is a website called free jigsaw puzzles.com that I've been playing, there are all kinds of puzzles, some are 20 pieces others are 200 and it's set up where you can make them more and make them different shapes than the normal.. I did one that made it look like a mirror that had been dropped on the ground... what a pain trying to put that one together.
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Seeme..zzzzzzzzzz guess I will take over..dad has pulled his bedside lamp over twice tonight! Finally told him I was taking away from him! Know what u mean about getting up every few hours..if he doesn't call, I make sure I hear him breathing or get up to check.. Have thought I could just find out in morning but nope couldn't do it either!
Starri you'd look cute in a full bunny suit!
Ladee glad you checked in...hope you get some rest tonight.
Jam...take Seeme's advice to heart!! Too funny.. Mmmmm Bryer's ice cream yum!
Notlikemom..you will know what to do when the time comes..good for you setting boundaries for you!
CG10.. Take care you ...
Shawna hope you and mom had another good day.
Ros.. So much .. Glad we are here wish we could be there to hug and hug you!
Stormy...hope all is well
Gonna try to catch some. Zzzzzzzzzz before dad starts calling.
Night all...thanks for giving me so much strength!
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Just a quick check-in, then off to bed.

Yes starri, had 4 teeth extracted last Friday....getting better every day. Now comes decision time as to whether I want to do implants next Spring. Pretty much have myself talked out of it. And thank you all for the potato suggestions.....I doctored them up and had some tamales, don't have to chew those, and thought I was having a feast....isn't that pathetic? Back to the dentist tomorrow for a check-up.

NH called tonight and the col's doctor is putting her back on another round of antibiotics and breathing treatments. She is not beating this easily. It's one of those day by day things. But she did spend the evening in the main gathering area instead of in bed.

Got to get some sleep......peaceful sleep for all.............

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Sister in Law has the implants, don't seem to give her any trouble, me personally, just had them yank them.. wear a full set of dentures. When I was younger, like 15 I think, I did a somersault over the handle bars of my 10 speed, ended up living on jello, pudding and potatoes and gravy for months.

Hope the Col gets over whatever is going on soon. There is some kinda cold thing going around, I've had it for almost 2 weeks now. Still not kicking it, nose plugged and settled in the chest.

Sweet Dreams
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Starri- glad to see you are back we have missed you. Hope you had fun on your world tour!!!! I will check out the online puzzles. Sounds crazy and cool and i bet it is hard. Love and hugs stormy
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Stormy - albumin isn't about bones really. It's a protein. Is your Dad getting enough protein, like meats and dairy products? If his levels are low, it could be because of that. The doctor should tell you if it's a high or low level and why he thinks it's happening. Hope this helps.
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Just wanted to check in before I get ready for work, will be so grateful when this day is over so I can come home and deal with all this... or begin to deal with it...It is so hard trying to work and concentrate...
Thank you all for the love and support... I know during the day when my mind is wandering I wish I was home so I could share... but am going to 'cocoon' myself this weekend, as Vickie said to me, and do what i have to do...
I do want to share what a funny man Howard was, no matter the circumstnaces he could have us all laughing until we cried... he will be missed so much by so many..... But God needed him, so I let go with love..... thanks again, couldn't do without ya'll... well, yes, I could, but it would be so much harder..... hugs and angels to you all... will try to get caught up this weekend....later.
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Good morning everyone. Hugs to laddeda. Well today is doctor day. Wish me luck. Im going to attempt to speak with him without her. Not sure how to pull it off. I tried to speak with him day before yesterday,as it turns out he wasn't in the office and wont be again until 8:45,her appt. Is at 9:00. The girl told me to call back and try and catch him then. The prob is with her appt. At 9 I will probably be on my way there or already there.hmmmm
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Good Morning Posse!

Just a hello before I start my day.

ASG.....when you get to the office ask the receptionist if he can spare you a few minutes before he sees Aunt as you have some concerns that need to be addressed and she won't bring them up. My doctor has done that for me when I've taken the col in. Good luck!

Thinking about you ladee..........you have all these angels watching over you today, so hopefully you'll breeze through and get back to the safety of home.

stormy.....Google albumin levels and you will find more than you probably want to know.

The snow missed us last night....yippeee.....and I told it to go see missmiley...lol.
Going to be a balmy 34 degrees today!

I hope everyone has a perfect Friday..........will check back after dentist.

Happy Trails Amigos,
Jam
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Jam sorry col is sick. Winter time illnesses are so hard on them.
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Thanks jam. I will try that.
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i am planning a respite for my mother in several weeks. My oldest daughter is having a friend come for her 17th birthday and I think having my Mom home would be difficult at best. I know I will worry about her ; as I am so afraid she will fall.
Also since she is not a live -in I worry they won't care for her well. Has anyone taken their mother ,dad etc to an assisted living for respite. I'm not sure my Mother will understand and I know she will be very confused. Is it worth it for all this ? Thoughts anyone?
Thanks,
Carol
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While my mom was in independently living they offered respite for families as well as our senior loved ones. The program sounded good but my concern is what yours is: confusion. Seniors need what is familiar and comfortable for them, the routine as well as the environment and people. Upsetting the apple cart might take time to repair when she returns. I didn't get the chance to talk to family about the after affects. After four months of living in independent communal living my mom opted for returning to live in her own house that she shared with my Dad and I live here and I hire two caregivers but will be looking into home health care nurses in the near future. Respite is important to all of us; be mindful that you might get the respite care for you but then how much time will you have to devote to undo damage that has been done? Is it worth it to you?
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Correction: Ya'll i was wrong on the albumin level. Its his alkaline phosphatase that has been high for awhile now. And it being high can indicate something is wrong with the bones. Love and hugs stormyyyyyyyyy
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I had actually looked in to respite care at alf near here. I unfortunately never got her there, but my mom did not have dentntia/alz problems. And I was only thinking of a day care type of respite. I just couldn't get any errands done even leaving her in the car. Did that once and she got out in a rough neighborhood, asked some man to help her, left her purse in unlocked car with window down.......She would have been able to understand that it would have been only for the day. Hope you get better help than mine.............like someone who acutally did it............
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Vic: thanks for your comment, you are very sweet. I feel very supported by the people of this site.
Ladee I knew your Faith would help you...I hope this weekend you will feel free to "feel" what you wish, without worrying about your job and your duties.
Jam I will have a tooth extraction next week. Never done it, I am very scared. I shall have an implant, too, next year. I am lucky it is the last tooth (the last molar) so no.one will notice.
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Jam- got the snow. Thanks for sending it my way.
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Back from the dentist and just inhaled some mashed potatoes.......OMG how pathetic can one be to think I just had a feast? Trying to get caught up on posts.

Ro..........you won't have any problems with your extraction. Please don't be afraid. I've never had just one tooth pulled, it was always 2 or more. You won't have the advantage of being able to place a denture over yours, it acts as a bandage, but just leave the gauze in until it quits oozing, then on the second day you can start GENTLY swishing with warm salt water....that feels so good. It normally takes 2 weeks for the hole to close over....my dentist today told me mine were almost completely closed and it's been only a week. I've been a very good girl! We discussed implants today and I told him my concerns and he said no, I've already gone through the worst of it. When putting the implants in, bone has no nerves, so the pain is very minimal. Eased my mind. The center of the bone has nerves, but the implants don't go in that far. You will do just fine!

cadarn...........I wouldn't worry too much about the care Mom would receive. And of course you will worry about her......but who knows, maybe she might enjoy herself so much that she would want to stay. When we took the col to the NH, we explained that she needed PT that we couldn't do at home, and she has settled in very well. Of course she is having lingering bronchitis which I feel will become chronic, but she might have gotten that here, I can't blame it on the NH. You're the only one who can make the decision if this is the right thing to do....have you asked for your daughters' input? That might help you.

ASG..........what did you learn from the doctor? I'm still hoping you can work out some respite so you can get into the Christmas spirit................I'm the only one allowed to BAH HUMBUG!!

ladee.....glad you are home and no work this weekend. Give yourself some time for absolutely nothing. Unless you're planning a rock hunting expedition. Sorry I'm not closer, I would go too........you will never make me stay behind and take care of Marie....:)

mis.............anytime on the snow. We didn't get a single flake so my snow dance must have worked!

Hope everyone has had a great day.......check in and let us know what's up.

Happy Trails,
Jam
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I had posted this morning about the dr. Appt. Guess it didn't take. The sr. Appt went good. I wasn't able to talk to him before hand I dint have a chance and I tried to direct her to sit down in the waiting room but she followed me to the receptionist. The dr. Did understand my que and told her he wanted her to take the ativan for her bp. He must have some this before. He told her he understood why she had each and every med prescribed to her and he wanted her to follow. He did say he was concerned about the number of mess she was taking and may try to take her off some in the coming months. He also said here comes a point where they stop worry about the blood sugar ,cholesterol and blood pressure numbers and instead aim to make sure they feel well. He said not to sound mean or crass but he thought she was at that point. This fell.in line without how she feels. He did not give her a cognition test. He said he wanted to see her back in a month. O was surprised she didn't bring it up herself. On the way into he office she kept saying how the only thing wrong with her she thought was her mind:) blink...blink....ya think.
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Carol if you can get respite go go go for it. No tellings how long it will be before you get a chance again. Peggd did make a good point about it causing confusion.that is def soothing to consider, But with that in mind maybe you can plan to alleviate some of it.
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Hubby did a nice thing for me. He purchased more christmas lights.(mine dissapered somehow from the garage.) He has noticed my lack of christmas ambition to so I think he is trying to make up for it. He also picked up some ginger bread house kits for the kids and me to put together. He even helped:) for the last couple years he has been the humbug one. Its sweet.
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It is very nice for you to share with me.
Thanks for the input. I think it is best for her to go and for us to try. She will be in the al for 4 nights. We need to be able to entertain our friends. Hope that doesn't sound too selfish. We don't get to go out much, but have been having a lady come in to stay with my Mom. The weeks and days around the Christmas Holiday are so busy, It is hard to keep the schedule. I know I am very fortunate that my Mom goes to day care every day and enjoys going to daycare. I need to get Christmas up and going for my girls. Just seems that my time is so short. We have a wedding to go to this week end and next weekend we have a show for Dance. In between are several school programs and parties. My subdivision does a progressive dinner so I have offered to help with the main course; like everyone the Christmas Holiday is so busy.
I know I will worry about the respite but just feel it is something I must try. Everyone at Mom's daycare thinks it is best. For some reason I feel I must let the people on this site know that I don't do this without lots of thought. My family is all for it Just feel I must make it right with all of yall. Please share any and all thoughts.
Thanks,
Carol
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