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Is there anyone with info regarding with filing taxes and whether or not if I can claim hubby as dependent and since I am his aide how do I work this out...any info would be appreciated...
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I agree with burned. I can't wait for Christmas to be over with. Found out that sister is not going to ask me to care give anymore for a while. She doesn't want to pay me. So she is going to do it herself. I can tell you this that Mom has oodles of money, tons of it and could easily pay me. They have to pay the aide, why can't they pay me. The aide is on vacation right now. I'm sure I will catch H**ll for this writing or for asking for money. So its a problem all the way around. So now going to do a crossword puzzle and detach from all this.
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Merry Christmas Ros..........COW PATTIE!!!!!! I hope you and Mom start to feel better soon....hot soup sounds really good.

Welcome theinbetween that's exactly why I started this thread....because no one seems to pay any attention to the care giver. It's almost like we don't exist......wouldn't you just love to look at some people and say "oh I'm just peachy, that's why my hair isn't combed...I'm real good at making a ponytail or pulling it behind my ears....what make-up? Never heard of it........yes, I know my perfume is a little much, didn't have time for a shower, gee why do I feel funny? Guess I forgot to take my medicine today.........but by golly my loved one got theirs.....*sniff-sniff* oops, guess I missed a spot......hungry.....I'll eat sometime......." People look at us but see the loved one as the needy one because we are taking care of them. They don't see the hardship that care causes to the care giver. And then we end up here, because where else can we go to find others that feel like we do? We belong to a unique group who can see the humor in cleaning poop and answering a repeated question repeated times. So stick around and when you need a pat on the back, just ask, we have a lot to go around.

burned.....you might be able to go to the IRS website and find the answers to your questions. Eggnog and vodka....doesn't sound half bad...hmmmmmmm.

Got fudge made....cookies tomorrow....then I'll share...lol.

Hope it's been a good day for all.

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Merry Christmas to all!! My mom is home from her respite. It doesn't seem like she was there for 5 days. It was good. So glad I did it; though the decision was very difficult.
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Ros- chicken soup is an excellent Christmas food. Get better soon!
Mom was actually nice to me today. Talked to me, bought me my favorite donut. Hmm. Maybe I'll keep these grandkids around longer.
My sister says she thinks more of Mom's memory is going. And her general cognition. Sis has noticed a number of things like this. I respect her opinion because she knows how Mom was before the cancer. I need to get that testing scheduled after the holidays.
Night all. I hope tomorrow night (when we open presents) goes the way mom wants. This might be her last one, and that makes me sad.
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How am I doing today? Well was doing good until 10 minutes ago. Grandma threatened me again this time she doubled her fist. I told her go right ahead and do it cause when you do you'll be in the NH. I'm getting to be soo done with this crap.
I just need to go to the Laundry room. She was really confused when she did this. I came in from the garage from smoking (was suppose to quit on Thanksgiving that's not happening yet or in the near future). She said that she had to know what I was doing. I asked her why she needed to know. Then she says that she didn't care what I was doing. Oh she also said that she was going to send me to prison. Ok, well I'll take a hot pink jumpsuit, a tv and maybe I'll get to finally to some college course to while I'm there serving my time.
Speaking of the Laundry Room. I was talking with one of my friends at work about the Laundry Room. My friend has a Therapy night on Thursday for men only. He thought the Laundry Room is a great idea.
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Prison does sound like a nice break doesn't it mismiley....lol... meals cooked, tv, lots of down time..... naps, " What are you in for?".
"me? Oh I smacked my grandma"......
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And you could always ask for a job in the "LAUNDRY ROOM".....
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Now how am I doing? Feeling a little anxious. Will be so glad when Christmas is over.
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Ditto to what brandywine just said......
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To bpryor01: Take heart in this. You've had an excrutiating day and feel like you've hit the bottom. The good news is you can only go up from her. New day, new ideas, new strength, and new love. Stay strong, we understand.
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me too! just had early Christmas supper with my daughter, sil and grandkids and the presents were right on -they were thrilled. That's as good as it is going to get, I think, and I should be thankful, and I am, but some other stuff is simmering on the burner and may explode yet -aaaargh!!! and I don't mean moose antlers - and Christmas being over is not going to solve that
trying to find something philosophical to say, but didn't have much sleep last night so gonna do the seeme thing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and hope I am in a better mood tomorrow morning -sometimes life sucks -and that's a fact!
love ya all
jo
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Shawna: I gave my mom her ornament tonight and I wish I could explain to you the happiness I saw on her face seeing HER nativity on an ornament. I told her friend of mine made if from a photo I had. I cannot thank you enough for the work you put into this masterpiece. I cannot thank you enough for putting a smile on my mom's face as she immediately recognized HER nativity on the ornament you made. How am I doing tonight? I am doing great knowing you Shawna. Thank you for the depths of my heart!!! SDPeg
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I am tired from running around all week after a week of finals at school but today was fun. While mom was at hair dresser I drove into the neighboring town (30 minutes away) to get something. I had reward points to use so I opted for a small purse size camcorder. It is really cute, by Kodak and my thought is to video my mom as much as I can for my own memories and others as well. The blessing was: the camcorder was marked down from $129.99 to $79.99 then I had $37+ of points!!! So for under $100 I was able to get the camcorder, memory card, 2-year insurance on it and a calendar for mom. She has a particular one she likes and I wanted to add that to her ever growing pile of gifts for Christmas. I scored on that camcorder!!! And just think of the memories I will have. I have not had one before so now that it is charged up I will be able to figure out how to use it before Christmas.
Mom and I went to a holiday party at the local casino. I came home with $300 more than what I left with. So I guess you could say the camcorder was free with some leftover for etc for Christmas. woo hoo. So tonight I am happy and Mom said she was thankful that I am with her. Despite all the crap others try to dump on her (ok: not others, just bro), she has been looking so happy lately. I think she is seeing the strength she has in making it through yet another holiday without my Dad. Do I miss him? Cry for him? Ache with this loss? Yes. And I do share that with my mom but I also encourage her (and myself) to enjoy life.
I encourage you all to do the same!
Good night
SDPeg
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Morning all my caregiver friends! I pray the day is the best and that all of you can take a few minutes of me time ...even if it is on the toilet! It is a very tough time with a lot of us right now...the stress of "trying to make Christmas" is not something we should be doing. Please please roll with the flow as best you can these next few days. Try to be joyous in the moment...even when granma, mom, dad, hubby etc are being crabby or ugly with you because of whatever they are going through. We do what we do because we love so deeply in spite of it all.
Try to breathe in the heat of the moment...turn your back do a little twirl.... This to shall pass.
I am so grateful for all of you...you are and have been my strength and support ...each of you are in my prayers ... For strength and hope ...and in thanksgiving.
May the "REASON" for the season be in your hearts and give you renewed strength of mind, spirit and body.
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Thank you Vickie Vic, just what I needed to hear today... love ya and appreciate ya.
Have a good day everyone, ya'll are in my prayers....
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Good Afternoon Posse!

I hope the day is good for all and improves for those who are having unexpected troubles. As Vic says.....may the REASON for the season be in your hearts. Please don't allow yourself to be caught up in the hectic, stressful, hustle and bustle.....we all know there is enough of that in our lives that we don't need the added from the holiday trolls!

Maybe this will give you a chuckle......we finally discovered why and how the col has been getting herself so agitated when trying to call us. She has been using her television remote control! The aide walked into her room last night and she is hollering hello into the remote! I'm thinking it's time..........out of sight, out of mind......it will take 5 min and she will no longer remember there was a phone and won't get herself so worked up.

Hugs to mis.................

I am wishing all the blessings and peace you can imagine for all of my new found friends and for those who walked the care giver journey with me words cannot express my deepest feelings for you...........you ALL are very special to me and you are my blessing......MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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She has been using her television remote control! (as a telephone)
Thank you for the laugh!!! That is so funny.
My mom put her pants on inside out ... it is so difficult to stifle a laugh!!!
But she IS putting shepherds and angels around the nativity she has had since 1948 ~ the first Christmas married to my Dad (RIP: 2010). One tiny step at a time.
But laughter IS the best medicine and between inside out pants and remote controls as a telephone ... I will be very healthy laughing through this holiday!
Yes the remember the REASON...Amen!
SDPeg
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Good afternoon all!

As we approach Christmas day itself, two ideas come to mind. First, the hilly area of Bethlehem has several small caves, one of which the early Christians thought is the place where Jesus was born. Figuratively speaking, many of us feel like we are living in some sort of cave with darkness all around. May the Word made flesh, the light of the world which the darkness has not overcome, the only begotten Son of God who understands our human condition and who is our compassionate savior send his light to cast out the darkness of your cave; send his Holy Spirit strongly to help you know that he, Immanuel, is with you and understand's the pain of the burdens that you bear; and renew your inner person with his saving grace. Second, Shepherds were rather poor folks who would have never expected the first announcement of the Messiah's birth to be made to them. No matter how poor you may be; how insignificant you might feel that you are; or how looked down upon or isolated from how others live, may you know afresh the joy of the good news of Christmas that was first announced to the poor, isolated, and looked down upon by society shepherds! Amen and Merry Christmas!!!
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Thanks cmag. I needed that.
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Thank you CMag..........Merry Christmas to you and your family!
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Thank you cmag, you are our brother from another mother and we appreciate that you have stuck with us this past year.... and to all my sisters that I have bonded with, thank you for being here for me. Love you, appreciate you, we have laughed, cried, shared and gotten closer thru the year..... we just need to keep on keepin' on..... hugs across the miles to my freinds....
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Our Christmas Eve didn't start good. Grandma fell in her bedroom, hurt her wrist. Rob picked her up and walked her into the kitchen and back into th living room, and she sat in her lift chair. I got some ice and couple of mortin for her to take. She took the pills. She swallowed the pills without any water. We told her to drink some water. We gave her a couple of commands and she couldn't do it and she was really confused so we took her into the er. They ran a cat scan and said that she had a stroke and transfered her to a hospital in Lansing she also had blood on her brain on the left side. So she's in the hospital for how long I don't know that yet. They will be running another cat scan tomorrow. They are suppose to xray her hip tonight cause the nurse said it was bruised and when she touched it Grandma complained that it hurt so we'll get those results when we get there in the morning.
I'm tired and whipped seems like we've been the hospital all day long which we have.
Good night and Merry Christmas.
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Mismiley: my prayers are with you tonight. This has got to be exhausting for you. I know there are no words to take the pain away so I won't try to find any. But I am sending you hugs from SDPeg
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Thinking of you all and hoping that the spirit of the season prevails in your hearts, through all the troubles, big and small.

hugs, love and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
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Mismilely,
Time for you to rest. Merry Christmas.
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mismiley... like lyn said, get some rest tonight.... I am so sorry this has happened.... please keep us informed as you find time... prayers for you and your family and for gma....sending angels....
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I am very sorry I haven't been here for awhile I am trying to catch up with everything going on. Cmag I love what you said that makes everything this holiday worth it. I was going to complain about my brother but I have decided I am not going to sweat it anymore. If he wants to be childish and act like that its all on him. We are going to have a good Christmas no matter what. We are going to my sisters for the day.
Mismiley I am here to talk if you need to. I am sorry to hear about Gma's fall and the stroke keep us updated and let us know how she's doing. Wraps you in angel wings and hugs you.
Peg you have no idea how wonderful that makes me feel giving your mom something like that. It warms my heart to know that it brought a smile to her face and happiness to her heart. Its stuff like this that helps me get through a lot of bull crap.
I want to welcome all the new comers to the list …. we are here to vent talk and just be there for each other please come back and join us.
I did have something to share with you … I don't know if I mentioned how I am back in touch with a cousin who we haven't talked to since daddy died. Well we did our annual Christmas call tonight. Well we were talking and she had me in tears. Good tears warm tears. She told me how proud she was of me .. that I was a beautiful young lady and that mom and dad were given a wonderful gift when they got me. That I was a wonderful compassionate woman. With everything going on with my brother and now my nephews girlfriend being his messenger boy this just made me feel so … I don't know the words to convey it. After I got off the phone and just cried literally bawled. I mean I started crying when we were talking but I was full out crying after I got done on the phone. See this cousin is the same age as my oldest sister .. they were more like sisters than cousins. As see My aunt Kate who is my dads sister married moms brother .. yeah I know its confusing its just easier to say they switched siblings. So our family has close blood lines and they were close when they were young before they moved to Florida they are now in VA. So mom is like a second mom to her. I know we don't do it for a pat on the back or what have you but I feel a lot better after talking to her tonight. Hopefully they will be able to get up here in the spring.
I want to wish everyone a wonderful happy Merry Christmas I say the same thing Ladeeda I do have friends that of the Jewish faith. I tell them Happy Chanukah and they smile at me and say Merry Christmas … I don't need to be PC … its why I love the Kung Pao Buckaroom Holiday song. Like Whispering Bill Anderson says .. I am gonna sing Christmas Carols if I want to sing Christmas carols … LOL
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I am sorry Mis. When my mother broke her leg it was November so she spent Christmas at the hospital. It wasn't a happy Christmas for any of us! And at that time her mind was sharp enough to realize it, so she was very sad.... Try to have the nicest Christmas as possible, anyway...
Merry Christmas everybody!
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merry Christmas Ro...
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