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Good Morning Posse!!!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas.....some not so good I know.....just believe that my thoughts are with you whether you are having a rough time or a not so rough time.

Carol....ladee is right, you are trying to make sense of the care giving and sometimes that is just not possible. The tired takes us over mentally and physically and it seems like some days it's almost impossible to get up and put one foot in front of the other. That's why YOU must come first, and no that is not a selfish attitude, because without YOU the care giving doesn't exist. Just remember as humans we do have a breaking point and this care giving gig can push us to that real quick. You may be at that point where you have to sit back and reevaluate what you are doing and how you are doing it and you might have to make other plans. I was at that point in October....every morning I was waking up with this doom and gloom attitude, knowing the col's mind was getting worse and physically she was getting so frail, and I would run these scenarios through my brain all the time.....what if she falls while I'm with her and I can't catch her.....what if..what if..what if...............yes, I'm trained to take care of the ill and injured and hubby is a physician for heaven's sake, but when it's your own it's different. Anyway, I knew I couldn't do it anymore and Target was having a hard time dealing with how quickly his momma was fading and seeing what it was doing to me, so the decision was made to place her in the NH.

ladee.....what can I say....our problem child.....I'm still rolling thinking about someone saying...."who do you think this is? Sounds like they're nuts...too much eggnog maybe?" hope yesterday was restful for you and wish you didn't have to work today.

Will try to answer and read as everyone checks in today. Going to be a day of calling the pharmacy, the stoooopidddd attorney, the phone company and nothing else I hope! Eating leftovers......YUMMMMMMMMM!

We've almost made it through another year......yippee!!!!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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One added thought on how to steal some time for yourself. I have a standing appointment for the prof for a massage on fridays. It gives me a total hour of peace and quiet. I usually make my own appt. for hair, nails, anything. Just a moment for me. It is an incredible treat- as long as I can afford it. I am completing the paperwork for respite care. I felt guilty for awhile, but know now I am going to have to do more for myself and my 17 year old man child.
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Lyn, doesn't exercise require sweating????? and meditation require settling the mind????? No, uh, I have one speed and that is "zoom"... it is taking it's toll, but I did take today off.... ADD, OCD, EIEIO..... so many of us have the same alphabet soup in our personalities, guess that is why God chooses us to be caregivers..... He knows we will do the job, do it well, never stop until we drop, and bitch and complain the whole way.... And He did make a bunch of us didn't HE... and we all found each other , so who could ask for more than that.....We have imaginary bars, imaginary antlers, but we have real friends... I am blessed and I know it... clap your hands... I am blessed and I know it , clap your hands....
OK Ok , enough already... have already got on the silly train, so come join me, I'll make a stop at your house...hugs to my friends....
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Ladeeda, yep, it does require sweating. That's why it is so funny that it is me that found it attractive. I've decided I love it as an outlet for a midlife crisis. Maybe I will end up healthy and attractive- too much for this little mind to conceive. You are sooo right- we are a crazy bunch. It's nice to feel at home, though. I'm going down kicking and screaming the whole way if I have to go down.

I am watching the prof's puppy try to eat tin foil. She takes a bite, cringes, takes a bite, cringes. OMG. I am becoming a sadist, too, lol.
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Good morning!

The computer is up and running. I wish I was.

I was at church yesterday when one of the cousins called to invite us to her daughter's for Christmas dinner. You know, I wish these folks would make up their minds. One week, they trash me and the next one they invite us to dinner. I politely declined by reminding her of her sisters' telling me that they won't be back to see Mama because they got embarrassed because I told the truth. It's all a little to schizophrenic for me to have to put up with. I've got enough on my plate with my mother.

Speaking of mothers, mine went on Skype last night and video called with her only son and his family. She'd been resistant to doing anything like that, but she's changed her mind. I was really glad that it worked for them. And yes, I have to thank my best friend for that. Without the new computer, it wouldn't have worked at all.
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Lyn, I do sweat, alot, It is so unattractive to be in walmart and have sweat dripping on my glasses... and the summer... OMG.... so the toxins go , and I don't eat meat, so don't have that yucky feeling either... I do find it hard to meditate, so I practice Echart Tolle's suggestion of , " what is my next thought going to be" and my mind goes blank..... and other than a few senior moments, I can stop my mind for a few moments.... but then I am back to "zoom"..... you'd think my house would be clean, but it's not..... small space and takes no time to be cluttered.... oh well, it's my disorganized mess and I know where things are.....
Maya, can tell you are still in awe of your great gift...... what did we do before computers???? A Friend of mine asked why I don't write her letters anymore, UH, I do, in emails..... lol
Ok, am going to check on FB and then take a nap..... busy day huh...
mismiley, please let us know how things are with gma, and maybe like you said your boss will let you have a few vacation days.... that would help a lot......
So everyone else check in and let us know how ya are... we probably won't hear from vic, her hubby is home...WOOT WOOT.....
hugs to my friends.....
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Ladeeda, don't get me started on housework, lol.
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Merry christmas everyone.....I hope you all had a good one. I hope all got a lot of rest. And hope everyones elder behaved them. I think mine slipped herself an ativan he he he. She sure acted like it. She does have a hard time with he holidays. Maybe that's a good sign she is more accepting of the med. Didn't drink any eggnog....had no laundry room bar time so I think i'm over due;) laser I hope you getvplenty of long overdue rest today...jam stay off the slick roadways. Im jellies.love you all and thought of you often.
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*Ladee* not laser....and *jelous* not jellies. My new phone has an over active spell check...at least for a red neck:)
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now y'all have me laughing and my imagination is flying

all I want for next Christmas is a singing Justin Bieber toothbrush - not making fun of you stormy - just thinking about me at my age and having one - must be in my second chldhood - or maybe my first consdering the cr*p that went on when I was young - strange u named ur pup Lily. it is one of my "secret" names - no not Gary -so I may answer when you call her, and I don't pee on the carpet - yet anyway rotflmbo
Ladee you are like hawkeye -can't do confined spaces - we will build you an awning over the entrance so you can stay outside and we will camp - heat water on the fire and do the right order of brushing teeth -with justin bieber sunging tooth brushes - all in harmony now, spit in the bushes, then wash the hands etc. Is anyone averse to using leaves for "that": job" Just don't pick the poison ivy. oh, my goodness, I think I need some brekkie to get my blood sugar up, I am getting right foolish!
maya - mum on skye -awesome and as far as the relatives go -you trash them - life is too short
as far as help goes-stormy u got it right -tell 'em don't ask 'em
jam sounds like u did well, I am glad
pet story - my dd (dear daughter) had a cat called Smokey and he was the predatorial type. It was Christmas and she was having trouble with her Christmas tree lights and she told me the cat was eating them. Yeah right! I was over there, the lights were on and the cat was under the tree and I heard a distinctive "crunch" I went over to take a closer look and this crazy cat was crunching the lit light bulbs. he didn't like them cold. So lyn -sometimes they are crazy - hope he doesn't swallow the foil..
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asg glad it went well - niow for some cave time!!! or laundry room if the weather is bad

I'll take that you are jellies anyday - colourful, bouncy, cute...
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ASG, I kinda like the Laser thing, sort of speaks volumes about my personality doesn't it.... and you made me laugh out loud about the red neck thing....
Yes Jam, I am the problem child, but ya gotta love me because I make you laugh.... and I did take today off, am getting started early about the new year thing of destressing myself....
One of my favorite things to do is go rock hunting... no I don't take a gun, but to walk in the fresh air, well depending on how many cattle are where I am rock hunting..... but I just get into the zone.... rained all weekend, which I am extremely grateful for, but am wanting to get out on the back roads and pick up rocks,,,, and not just any old rocks... special rocks....I do some of my art with them, it's funny because when people see how many rocks I have they always ask, "what are you going to DO with them", well, uh, they are rocks, you really don't need to DO anything.....just the joy of finding them , the solitude, the quite, the listening for God... so guess beauty and respite comes where ever we are looking for it....
And don't worry Lyn, I'm not going to clean house, so you don't have to either.... I just put a sign on my door that says, "I'm tellin' ya, you REALLY do not want to come in here"..... it works.....hugs and angels....
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Oh and emjo, I'd have to be outside anyway because I smoke.... but the awning would be nice....
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Ladeeda- smoke as in smokin hot, right?
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I just set a boundary. One of the cousins who thinks that she can say whatever she wants and I'm just supposed to take it called and said that she wanted to come over to see my mother. After the garbage that she spewed at me after church that night, I really don't want to see her. There's a nurse coming in an hour or so and I told her that. I told her that today was not a good day and she told me that she would be over afterwards. I think she's coming to look and to find fault. Also, to put some spin on what she did. She refused to take no for an answer. After she hung up, I thought that no, I'm not going to leave my home because she won't listen to what I said. I called her back and told her that I do not want her over here, that she's said some things that she had no right to say to me and that I'm trying really hard to forgive her, but right now, I don't want to look at her.

I told my mother what happened and that I told her not to come over here. My mother agreed that I shouldn't have to leave my home to avoid her. These people need to get it through their heads that they don't get to do and say anything and then, have me roll over and play dead for them.

I moved her to improve the quality of my mother's life, not for myself. And I'm beginning to wish I'd stayed where I was.
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Maya: proud of you!!!
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In crisis mode here. The beloved prof has blown his top over not being able to drive. He took off in his car, and has been gone alone now for over an hour in his car. Just sitting here waiting for him to find his way home or for the Sheriff to come. Wish we could move forward from this stage. This sucks. It's like a chameleon. Crazy stuff. Never thought we'd be here.
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OH dear Lyn, you are in my prayers that he returns safely and you keep your sanity! SDPeg
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He's driving up now. How do I keep him, us, and the public safe? Any suggestions?
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Pop the hood and remove the coil wire in the center of the distributor cap. It's the center wire where the spark plug wires go into the cap.

It's what my mother used to do when my dad was trying to drink and drive. The military police thanked her for it.
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good idea. I'll have to wait until he deescalates or I might get hit.
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Did I happen to mention that I'm a mechanic's daugher and a mechanic's granddaughter? One of the male cousins paid me the highest compliment he could think of one day. He said I'd maintained the Lumina as good as any man would have.

I didn't know whether to laugh or smack him.
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laugh, maya -that's hilarious
lyn - as I mentioned mother had the same problem over a number of years as he declined. Finally his car -a beautiful Humber with leather and walnut interior needed service and wouldn't start. I had travelled across the country leaving 3 kids behind in response to a distress call from my father as mother was - in her way -ranting and ranting all the time, and he was beside himself. It did not take me long to ascertain that he was not capable of driving anymore, so I advised mother to let the car sit there and not get it serviced. It still was a thing of beauty, and to buy herself a vehicle and sleep with the keys if necessary, In any way make sure he could not get them. He was satisfied as he still had his car in the driveway to look at, and she had reliable transportation to work, and protection for him, and for the public as he could not drive. Eventually they got rid of the Humber. He had ministrokes and she would come home from work and find him passed out in the floor. He slept and then apparently came to unharmed, but of course there was small amounts of damage each time, which eventually took its toll.

I don't known if my eardrums ever recovered from the hours I spent walking with mother outside (to give my father some peace), and listening to her rant. After I retuned home and she had bought herself a car, she called me and told me that she has done what I suggested, and in her inimitable personality disorder, narcissistc way, said in a nasty tone "But don't think you have helped me!"
All in a day's work for the child of a narcissist.
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lyn....and to add to maya's suggestion....take his keys. Better to withstand him throwing a fit because he can't find them, than hurting himself or others. Good luck....my thoughts are with you!
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Lyn is this the only thing he gets this upset about???? Maybe if there is a place he can drive and be safe you could go with him... I don't know what stage he is in...do you try to redirect him... because arguing with him will only escalate the situation.....if he can be redirected that would be good... but by all means do as Maya suggested.... do you have more than one car??? You may have to sell his or move it somewhere that he can't see it everyday....
And please tell me you were kidding about him possibly hitting you..because if he is getting that angry it is time for an eval from his Dr... you have not said if he is on any meds.... give me a little more info and we'll see what else we can come up with....glad he is home safe.... hugs to you....
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Lyn, please follow up on the suggestions here. Ladee has already had a broken knee from the strength of an old lady....but then she is a wimp...but no one deserves to be hit. Like Ladee said, check it out.....maybe med time......and we don't need you in jail, either.......aka SeeMe Spa.....which we have add
The Cave and The Laudnry Room.....

Got your message last night after we came home from Kathy's.......bet you blew their minds, Ladee.......Ladee the problem child and Emjo the wild child......glad they didn't get the internet call or you would be in trouble......

So many posts today.......Ro and too much wine, me and too much whine, CMag in time out.....no, just resting in the man-cave, Stormy and too many toys, Ladee and too many rocks........

Carol, don't let us drive you away.......hang in there with us......

I am taking down the Christmas stuff while hubby is sleeping. We went out for breakfast with Kathy and family. Hubby had to have blood drawn this morning after fasting. I waited outside in the car....shouldn't have taken more than 10 min.....25 min later he comes out......nurse went through his vein and it was on.......he has vassavega.......whatever that is when you pass out at the sight of your own blood. Doctor had to get it from him, lay him down, give him juice.....he was so embarrassed, but it was nothing new......and he gives blood all the time.

Got to have something to show for the time he is sleeping, so I will get back to it....
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wild child - I like that! now where's tarzan - with my luck I will get the chimp lol
agree with the seriousness, lyn - there can be a maniacal strength and it has to be dealt with
seeme - ur hubby passed out from the sight of his own blood oh dear - very embarrassing for him
ladee glad u r starting to relax -u have needed that big time
had a dump of snow here but the roads are not slick - stay in jam and stay safe
cmag hugs to ur wife -she is fortunate to have ur support - prayers going your/her way too
mis let us know how grandma is and if u got time off
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Yes, Seeme has me down to a T,a wimp with a limp.... and it was my tibia, not my knee.... seeme you were not paying attention... again...
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I so much appreciate all the encouragement everyone offers. My husband and I were talking this morning that we both need to take time out for ourselves. That is difficult with my mom here and two teens; always someone wanting something or needing to go somewhere. I have made a commitment to walk and try to take better care of myself so I can take better care of my family. My Mom takes up so much time that the family suffers. Is that true for others , too?
The respite was good ; I will do it again but the cost has to be considered as Mom's money is limited and it recently has been going fast lately. The daycare takes all her social security; meds and doctors get what is in savings. I'm trying very hard not to overspend her funds. I think the respite is for me ; should I really spend her money on it when it really is helping me?? Lots to consider.
Wish the sun would shine. I'm really tired of the clouds as they reflect my mood. Just a day or two of sun lately here in Tennessee. Makes me want to be at the beach hearing the waves come into the shore. Gosh, I am really dreaming.
Take care all; I've got laundry to do. Carol
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Carol, the respite is for YOU..... and while I appreciate and know your mom does too that you are very careful with her money.... If you don't get more breaks you will not be there for your own family much less her..... I took off work today, can I afford it financially, no, did I need it emotionally, yes... so my needs are always met... your mom's will be too... and walking is good....many of us walk if we can.... clears the head, gets our endorphins moving.....and try to pay attention to everything you see instead of taking her and the family with you in your head.....
It is very empowering to make that choice for ourself... and not wait for someone else to help... you have family that can watch her for awhile.... now, the challenge will be to not just keep walking..... lol.... or running...... away from home... take care, we are happy you are here... hugs and angels...
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