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rosselamex, Thank you for posting that. Sister would say I am "hanging out our dirty linen." As the saying goes. Sis is a very private person. She didn't even want me to go to AA for fear of what the community would think. But I did anyway.
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Good for you, Brandy,,,,,,,,,,,,
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Brandy: I had an ex husband like that. I was in counseling for a legal issue and when I would return he would ask "what did you say about me?" to which I replied: "I am not paying that counselor per hour to talk about you ... that hour is all about ME!" He tried asking another couple of times and when he rec'd the same answer, I guess he got the idea because he didn't ask after those few times. Sometimes it is good to remind others that WE deserve time to take care of US and it is NOT, NOT, NOT about them ... that's what they call empowerment.
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Well, my mother's vitals are better than they were yesterday. She's keeping food down, although she is taking it easy. Her morning blood sugar was all of 99. She's still feeling weak, but she's got some color today and she's up at her computer.

More crime shows tonight. Bridezillas tomorrow.
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Good for you Brandy.... keep comin' back...... this thread works...... another of Bill W's friends.... hugs to you
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seemeride, yes, it is a good thing to go to Duke for this problem.

Tonight, I learned that my dad's last living sister is in bad shape. Her husband has been taking care of her at home and will not listen to his children or anyone telling him that he needs help for he's been over his head. Now the crisis level is quite elevated. She was not responding to my uncle the other night and he couldn't wake her so took her to the ER. She was dehydrated, high temp, and a bladder infection. Her alzheimer's has just gotten really bad and she can't communicate, and forgets how to eat and drink. My cousins are just not sure their dad can continue to do this, but he refuses to get help! The hospital is keeping her til at least Monday but she has to eat before they will let her leave and so far she hasn't! I think a social worker is going to step in and tell my my uncle he needs to get home health care to come in! I've encourage the cousin who sent me this update to come find support here.
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Support here is a great idea. Home health care going in...even better! I am praying for you and your family.
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Maya, glad to hear that Mom is feeling better,
Brandy, good for you, my mom was like that "don't let the neighbors know" I went to rehab...

Lord, save me from being social acceptable. I had someone try to explain normal to me one time, we went into pie charts for crying out loud..lol.. I want to know who decided green meant go. I'll stick to being "ab" normal. A lot more fun and a lot people wish they could be like me (I've had them tell me so), they just don't have the guts..lol.. society (who ever they happen to be) decide for all what the behavior should be like, what the "norm" is. In other countries, eating dog is ok, here it's taboo. A long time ago, taking a bath was out, did it once a year whether they needed it or not, that is how most weddings came to be in June, it was shortly after their annual bath.. married before they started smelling to bad..lol.. and whiskey and beer drinking? it was safer than drinking the water in good Ole England way back when.

Ladee is right about flash mobs, now adays their accepted, before the riot cops would have been called out. Personally I believe it's those of us who are "ab" normal and speak our minds that bring about social and cultural advancement.

So are all of you having a good night? I hope so, been kinda teary today, Mom's 81st birthday is coming up. 1/13, missing her, and wondering what she'd think of the trip Glenn and I are on.
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I"m sorry the grieving is hitting again...that goes with the anniversary times I know. So hugs on the 13th to you.
Lately mom has had a cold and sleeping so I have had time to relax. The doc changed her meds and that's going to affect her as well. What she eats in a week I probably eat in two days but if that's what her body is used to from a lifetime of eating very little who am I to try to change it? I do have a roast in the crock pot (someone put it on warm so it didn't cook all night, it can cook a couple more hours that's for sure). I eat and if mom wants to join me ok...but she is so resistant to sitting with me now that it is not healthy for either of us. so I do my best.
Her weigh in is Friday. The truth will be on the scale.
Recently I have discovered I am NOT on her health directive at all ... my brother is with my sister as alternate. They both live in different states...I live in the same house. Unsure why it was done that way. When I ask mom she says "that's how dad wanted it" so I let it go. I just know what I do is from the heart not because of a piece of paper. I cannot get her to change it so when the time comes for a decision for her future at least she cannot blame me if she ends up in a place she does not want to be (like a NH). But that's life.
I register on Monday for my classes...decisions, decisions.
The point I was making was self-regulation. It is great we wandered to the "normal" and "abnormal" field to play on. One day someone said my BP was "normal" and I laughed and said "that's about the only thing 'normal' about me" and that was the truth!!!
Hugs to all
SDPeg
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Sorry to hear Mom still isn't eating better. Roast in a crockpot? that is going to be my next thing to make, along with potato's, carrots and onions.. I don't have to worry about someone turning mine down to low. Hubby hates to cook so bad, he turns his back to walk by the sink, if there is a pot in it.

Self regulation for me is eating fiber...I still want to know who it was that decided green means go..
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Starri: thanks. My mom's eating is one of the toughest things I have had to witness, it breaks my heart and affects my psyche that is affecting my life in a way it can no longer. I did add pots and carrots ... threw in a bag of frozen vegs, didn't put onion in this time ... didn't feel like cutting it this morning. And sometimes I put green peppers (hey: GREEN ... there's that word again ... but it is obvious the bell pepper is green duh!). Also years ago I learned to sprinkle a dry spaghetti package on the top ... forgot that as well; nah will admit I was too lazy to walk to the pantry to get it. Wow ... sure was lazy today wasn't I?
Sure smells good tonight in this house...I think I might have a midnight snack... yum.
SDPeg
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Nothing wrong with being lazy, Told one of my friends the other day, my husband and I are retired, currently have no care giving needed, and so we can sleep all day and nap all night if we wish. Bell peppers come in more than one color, what kills me is they are the same pepper but at different stages of ripening and they want to charge you a fortune for a yellow pepper.

Never heard of spaghetti sauce on a roast, will have to try that sometime, I just throw in a packet of brown gravy mix.. maybe one of those lipton onion soup mixes. Onions are peeled and quartered.. potatoes go in skin on... and carrots too. why do more work and lose all that good stuff.

Toast some bread, put mayo, salt and pepper on the roast, make yourself a nice sandwich..
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Getting hungry reading about pot roasts! Hoping hubby will make soup soon, that's one of his things, I saved the turkey carcass and a ham bone. No moose meat for me LOL
cmag-prayers for your Aunt and wife. Hoping the biopsy turns out just fine. It could be that the docs want to be extra careful.
emjo-your mom sounds like a fighter at 99 years old. Is there some truth to the thought that the crabby live longer? LOL
maya-glad your mom had a good day, and you too.
seeme-LMAO at your story!
brandy & others-I dislike the idea of being private. In my life, it's always been a code word for keeping secrets. I am nowhere near as comfortable as some of you are in being "me", but I've coped by being a very open person. I'd rather tell all the "bad" things about my life and get it out there then have people dislike me later when they find out.
I know that I do this in direct opposion to my mom. She never wanted anyone to know about what really went on in our family. Even now, she refuses to let most of the family know how she is doing with the cancer. That means she won't talk to most of them. I give people updates and am grateful for my relatives who care. It will cost me if she ever finds out, but I want relationships with my relatives and am willing to fight for them.
Took a nap at 2 PM and didn't wake up until 10 PM. Wondering if I will be able to get any sleep tonight and get back on schedule???? But oh, was it nice!
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It must be midnight somewhere (only 10 p.m. here) but I am having some pot roast and potatoes. Yumyum.
I am with you about people keeping secrets. Especially when it comes out 25+ years later...a bit devastating to hear/read things that have been going on and I had not idea but now am in the midst of this crap. And I have decided that on Friday I confront my mom to share with my sibs her deteriorating health. I will not be the only one carrying this cross shall we say. And to think I don't have any authority to do anything and yet I am the one cleaning up and putting up with the routine. I cannot vent enough about that!
So Friday is a turning point for my relationship with my mom: I am speaking up in front of someone else and not just talking to her at home.
I hope she wants to eat some of this roast ... it is really good.
Turkey soup sounds good.
SDPeg
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Glad you enjoyed your nap, notlike. Mom might get mad at you about telling the relatives, but she'll get over it, I've had been disowned by my mother, so many times, I've lost count over having done something, like tell her doctor the truth about what was going on with her.

Soup sounds wonderful too, we have to quit talking about food, as I am starting to get hungry again..lol.. just had a baked potato (all the goodies) and some fried chicken. Still got to relearn cooking on propane, went from gas, to propane, to electric and now I am back to propane again. Haven't tried it out yet, but this motor home has a oven..lol.. bought some biscuits and will try cooking them maybe next week, might do it tomorrow, depends on when hubby crawls out of bed, and how close it is to time for SIL and BIL to come over, their going swimming with us here at the park.

I think I'll try sleeping myself..

Sweet dreams everyone.
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Morning all...been on the sIdelines .. We are ok here. Although dad is more alert these past couple days! Yay...
Ordered a small package of those NASA inspired adult overnight undies... So tired of the ones we use at night..don't work well at all on the sides..arghhhh. Oh well
If that's all I have to complain abut I guess I am great today. Not sure I am taking them to church today as it is already raining outside..not cold just damp. I know they both want to go..so we will see what the morning brings.
Seeme. I was eating a price of pizza when I read your post about your driver license! OMG I was giggling so bad that I swallowed wrong! Too Funny!!!!
My prayers go out to all of you...maya, burned, stormy, emjo, carol, mis, notlike
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Well oopS hit the wrong button...anyway am thinking of and keeping you all in my prayers.
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Good morning....

She was up late last night with side effects from the antibiotic. We've had a whole of natural gas leaks, if you catch my drift. I don't care, to be honest. If the antibiotic cures the infection, it's worth the motorboat sounds.

I was going to go to church this morning, but she's still feeling pretty weak, so I'll stay here this morning. It would take me the better part of an hour to get home if she needed me. That's the only downside to attending this church. Most of the time, I enjoy the drive. It gives me a chance to pray for us all where I don't have to worry about who hears what I have to say. I'm not one of those who can pray silently. Heck, I used to get put out in the hallway for reading outloud in first grade. Now that I'm older, I think Mrs. Padgett should have been happy that at least one of her students could read at all, but that's just me. I think she should have stuck the ones who didn't care if they ever learned out in the hallway. And let the principal make his whistling noises through his overbite at them instead of me.

Know what I mean?
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thanks for the laugh and the visiual first thing this morning Maya, and hope mom starts to feel better in spite of the noise.... have a good one.....
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Am liking the cat pictures, Ladee.....

Maya, funny visions in my head...

Hubby is making omelets for breakfast.....will be the best ever. I finally sweated out some of the gunk last night. Maybe I will do more today that just snort, hack, cough, and spit.....still can't get rid of it. This stuff is really going around here. Weather isn't helping. January 8 in NC and you should have to put a jacket on, but people are in shorts and sandals. Got to get cold soon or we won't have a winter and fleas will take over...........everyone have a good day.....time to eat...
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Did mike make extra for me???? and thanks about the pics.... you can tell I am spending more time on the computer and not cleaning.... it's even starting to bug me, so guess a couple of hours and I can get it knocked out... but such a tiny space, in no time it looks cluttered....and think I will force myself to get dressed and leave the house for awhile today... one more day, deep sigh, need about a hundred more.... oh well... enjou your breakfast and hope you get to feeling better soon, bet you have stopped smoking, so maybe that will be the positive from it all...
love ya and take care of yourself today, tell M I said Hi....
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I've been fighting the feeling that it won't do any good to finish the unpacking, that as soon as I get it all unpacked, it will have to be packed up again.

Does that make any sense to anyone else?
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Good morning all, I want to know how you ladies got your husbands to cook, I have a hard time just getting mine to reheat something in the microwave.

Seeme? hope you get to feeling better, are people running around in shorts? Glenn was emailing with a friend back home in SC and told him the weather was sunny and clear, light breeze and 78 here in CA and he told him that it was clear, sunny, a light breeze and 38 there..

I'm with you on it needing to get cold, at least have a couple of freezes, the fleas, ticks and mosquitoes will be hell this summer. Most people head this direction to escape the cold, but truthfully? I miss my winter.. Christmas day and 80 degree's just doesn't seem like winter to me.

How have you been holding out Seeme? you doing ok?
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Maya, I can understand, but why would you have to be packing up again so soon?
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My mother seems to never heal completely up before she gets another infection --- complications from wire mesh used to reinforce her abdomen after endometrial cancer in 1994 that is now coming apart and traveling. We'd thought that she was doing well this time and then, she got this infection. I always have to wonder if this one will be the one that finally takes her from me.

If something were to happen to her, there would be no need for me to stay here any longer. And her other kids would immediately back up trucks to carry her things away. I don't think I'd ever see any of them again, to be honest.

And it seems that every single time I begin to unpack, another complication happens, too.
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Maya: your second paragraph: can relate.
That's what bro did last year when my dad died, got a dumpster, threw things out, gave things away, told people to come get what they wanted while my mom was still in shock. He moved her away, she wanted to move back into the house so we did (with her doc's and psych's blessings) but after mom is gone...the relationship I have with bro is forever over.
I am blessed with my relationship with my sister. She is supportive and encouraging. She had 5 people die in her family (father, MIL, FIL, two uncles) in just 15 months so she knows how hard it is to care for someone who has given up. She listens while I talk, she feels my pain.
Cutting ties, ending relationships, setting boundaries: that's what I plan on doing when the time comes.
SDPeg
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I wish I could say that I have siblings I can depend on to be there for me, but the only value I have in their eyes is when they need money. Because I'm not in the pink of health myself, I told my brother that someone is going to have to be prepared to step up to the plate if something happens to me. He muttered something along the line that I was the only one who was suited to do this, that they all have families and I don't.

Yeah, he's right. I don't and I don't depend on their beginning to be my family when she's gone, either.
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Honestly I think we are stronger acknowledging that we know this. I know we are not happy knowing this but seriously I was told in counseling that not being in denial of unhealthy, unnourishing relationships is a strong point. So I lean on that strength and am prepared for the future knowing what I know. It's all we do.
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There are some in my family who love to live in illusions and they get upset when you don't. They don't seem to get it that they're only fooling themselves and that their lies just make them look ridiculous in the end. I've never withheld from my best friend --- he hears it all --- they think it's terrible that I've told him everything I've ever done. To them, you have to be perfect and have a perfect life before someone can love you, so their lies and illusions are justified in order for them to have what they desire.

To be honest, even if the truth sounded better, some would tell a lie because they're so used to lying, that's what they think to do first.
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May I have your permission to copy and paste only the first two sentences of what you just wrote and post it on my FB wall? That is profound!!! I will or will not use your name (depends on what you want) but I honestly felt a weight lifted when I read your first two sentences.
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