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You have done your best and now you are able to hit anything and thank goodness not the beer! Congratulation on 18 years of sobriety,johnnycares
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starri.......you have my deepest respect for being the pillar that is holding the family together at this sad time. You are a very wise woman with the way you are dealing with your brothers when I'm sure all you want to do is lie down and grieve. Don't let yourself not take the time for grieving......it will help you so much once the healing starts. You and your family have my sympathy and prayers. I will be thinking of you.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Starri, I am so proud of you for not taking that drink. I have 27 years sobriety and there is no reason on earth for us go give that up... there have been times when we think about it, just as long as we don't... You have my respect and admiration for all you have gone thru this short time we have known you, like seeme says, we do hope after some rest, we will hear from you again.. and that vacation sounds like a great idea....hugs and prayers sent your way,,, hugs across the miles...
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hey just dropping a line to let everyone know I'm thinking bout them. Will try to catch up when I can. Everything here is same lov ya all,
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Wow.....where is everyone? Talked with the col tonight and she will be coming home on Friday. She actually sounds pretty good. And didn't argue with me one single time. She asked me if the fence was up yet and I told her yes, it has been finished since last Monday, we just need to get locks put on the gates. And she asked if the locks would be the numbered kind and said she could handle that. I told her she wouldn't know the numbers because the locks were being put on to keep her from getting out. Didn't argue one bit. So maybe these new meds are working. I sure have enjoyed these days of freedom, but couldn't let myself get too used to them. At least with the part timer care giver we will get a break from each other....

Hope everyone is having a good evening,

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Well, jut stopping by toi say good night and you won't be hearing from me till late tomorrow. Big day in Durham, NC.....hope we have a good lunch somewhere. Got my diaper bag packed....got directions memorized......taking the tomtom....... now just have to get everyone ready in the morning......night all.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz
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starie- u should take the cat too . 2 dogs and a buddy cat be heartbroken to be split up . u will too . i know i will :-( . couple mos vacation wow ! u go girl , u deserve it . my plan is to take a road trip and go where i wanted to go . when my caregivin days are over then zoom i go . i wish u and hubby the best time ever ....
jam - am glad to hear col is doing well , she sounds so cute , glad to see the fence is comin along good , didnt take long for em put em up ?
seemeride- are u getting any sleep ? geeze woman i remmy those days , pa used to do that to me for 8 mos straight , gosh was i a zombie .. there is some night s its hollarin but now here laley he sleeps and sleeps . ole pa hes so tired and worn out .
asg - glad to hearthings are same ole same ole , thats over here too . i ll be takin off friday afternoon and go camping with bunch of friends all women no men no kids ... friends of friends and list goes on and on . 25 th annivesary . so it ll be fun , go tubin or caneoing and play cards all night long .
i am sooo ready to go !
thinking of HB , xoxo
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Thanks Linda.....yes the col is ready to come home. She does sound so much better. I'm hoping the argumentative attitude is a little more under control. But she won't be able to get herself in trouble anymore so that is one less thing to worry about. I saw some weeds today that I need to get pulled before she sees them, but it's supposed to rain tomorrow, nice Friday for her homecoming, then rain again over the weekend. At least that will keep her in and out of trouble.
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Help had a rough night last night. She said the smell was so bad it made her heave........a certified cna.......she had to go outside to breathe. I knew this was not "all in my head". I just pray we get a game plan going by the time we leave Durham. I don't see how we can keep going on like this. It's not just the drainage, but her pads and diaper are getting to her bottom, wearing it out. Some of the tape stuck to her butt and looks like it tore some skin off when she removed it......allergic to adhesive. Just pray we get some plan of action. Everyone have as good a day as possible...........
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Seeme, I pray you get answers today.. You are right , this can not continue, for all involved. Stand on that Dr.s neck until you get some answers, your mom deserves a better quality of life than this,, and you deserve a break... let us know... love ya and be safe...
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seemeride- damn i hate the heavin gaggin . blahh . sounds like some bad infections going on . pa once had a bacterial in his stool and that almost killed him , damn it doesnt get any better .
guess gotta change her every hour or so to keep her dry so it wont stick to her bottoms . when pa is bed rest i use diapers and close it lose so it can be air dry .
alot oftimes he s layin on his side i prop the pillow on his back so he wontroll over to his back , he s stay sideways , i hate it when he has bedsores .
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Actually, Linda, it is a fistula. Look it up. Then imagine a 83 yo woman who can't do for herself. Have shit coming out of your vagina and tell me how to keep it clean so she doesn't get an infection. Dr. thinks her small intestines have attached themselves to the top of her vagina and produced a tunnel so the shit gets out. Or she's had a rupture in there some where and that is how it is getting in the vagina. And the barium enema didn't find anything. So for six weeks we have been putting up with this. I have done my best, which is why we have resorted to Duke per OBGYN's advice. Thank God Mr. Jam turned me in that direction. When ya'll face the same thing, give me some advice.
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oh my gosh ! i didnt know that , oh lord !!! is there anyway they could get in there to correct it . oh gosh i can just smell it now . blahhhhh , im so sorry hun . so very sorry , i sure hope in lords name that can be corected . thanks for fillin that in for me , crap i never know such thing ! hugs to u and ur mom . xoxo
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Seemer good luck honey, hope you find some awnsers, linda hay lady! Glad pas getting some sleep you too! Ditto on the road trip. Jam, tommarrow? Hope everything works out well, all that in place should really help bunches. Lol said she could handle the nuumbered kind.I'm so glad she sounds better, I was able to get a copy of that book off amazon. Ladeeda, sending you a great big hugg just because, how things with sonny and his lady? How baby busey by the way?johnny, hey guy. Hope the wifes well, you are such a caring person. I don't know if I had alz. If my hubby could do it. He can never ever find anything on his own. Starii, proud of you. I know this is a hard time. To all those who I don't know your name hello. We love hearing from you.
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Thanks ASG, anyone want a younger brother cheap? I'll pay for his plane ticket, he woke me up at 630 this morning, just had to get into Mom's...I had and have it locked so he can't, he wants to move in with trash bags and just start throwing stuff away, with no concern about anyone else maybe wanting some memories.. I went over and he did absolutely nothing but wander around the house..

Just brought him back from town, and he decided he would not be over there again today, told him I was going to make sure the house was locked and come home and take a nap myself.. Might go over again later this evening, don't know..

Take care

Carmen
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Good afternoon Posse!

See if I can get something written and sent. Had a whole story written and it went POOF!!! So I will try again only with a short version this time!

Carmen......we will take brother.....we'll just pass him around with all of us. This must be so hard for him and he still feels the need to help momma. Give him a big ole hug. How are you doing? Getting some sleep I hope.

johnny.....how are you doing and Miss Betty? Haven't heard from you, hope all is okay.

ASG.....better slow down a little......how is Auntie? Glad you found the book. I still haven't started it yet, better get to it I guess.

Thinking about you seeme.....hope mom's appt is going okay.

ladee.....you will be tired today especially if Sonny gets out to clean up yards. I wish that's all the col did, was go after the sticks. Now you make sure you cook extra today.....:) you know I love ya!!!!!!

Col is still scheduled to come home tomorrow. I'm ready for it myself. Everything is done, the only thing I need to do is go grocery shopping. And I will do that tomorrow. Today it's storming and pouring down rain, so staying in and enjoying this last day of freedom.

Hello to everyone.....check in please and let us know how you're doing.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Jam I also got one called, elder rage. I think its more of a story. I will let you know. I do need to slow down. Lol. I have just read a few pages. I love reading. I don't anymore much thoug because when I start I normally can't stop. I take a book, can't put it down. Spend all my time on it till its finished. Thiw is the kinda book thoug I can find a good stopping point without wondering what's gonna happen next. There iss lots of good information so far. After all this reasearching I've been doing I see how now the manic deppression is PART of dementia. I think she was misdiagnosed maybe. I think she had this back then. I think my mil was onto somthing and the dr. Wasn't.
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ASG....so glad to see you reading and becoming more enlightened to what you are seeing with Auntie. After they diagnosed the col with the manic attacks, you should have seen the little light bulb come on over my head...lol. Her diagnosis is still dementia, with symptoms of depression, manic attacks and a defiance disorder. So I'm stuck with an argumentative, depressed, crazy old lady!!! She is sounding better and is just the most chatty little thing. Must be the Namenda making her that way. I may find her care giver hanging from the rafters...lol.
Almost visiting hours. Will check back in later.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Linda.......so sorry I jumped on you this morning...it has been so stressful trying to deal with this mess at home. I was listening to my cry in the bathroom because she stinks and has to wear pads and diapers and we go to the bathroom 4-5 times an hour and I am constantly changing pads out and I just couldn't take any advice from anyone.

Now we have another dr app next week with a colo-rectal surgeon. The dr will need to decide if mom is even a candidate for surgery. She has so much bad bowel, that between us I don't know if she won't have to have ostomy surgery. Wouldn't surprise me. I could handle that better than what we are going through now, but I don't know what mom thinks. She knows she has to go to another dr, but not when. Does no good to tell her. she is sleeping now....feels like she was on a long trip today and her back hurts. Gave her half a lortab and a breathing treatment and she is out.

Again, I'm sorry Linda, please accept my apology.
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Starri....I'll take Jerry.....he's a lot better than my brother Jerry. He lived 1 mi from mom and dad and he wouldn't go to the house cause they might have wanted him to do something. When it was being cleaned out., he took what he wanted and left, the sons-in-law did all the hot dirty work of cleaning the place after the folks lived there for 50+ years. I figure yours is worth at least 3 of mine, cause Terry was just as bad. Anytime, girl, anytime.

ASG, we will go to you now for advice with all your new knowledge. That never hurts anyone!! Pretty soon Auntie won't know what hit her, and you will have her wrapped around your little finger. Cheers to you!!
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seemeride- youre a spiecal girl and i will let you jump on me at any time :-) . i understand what youre saying and it does not sound pleasant . it sounds bad and my heart aches for you and ur mom .
dont feel bad girl cuz i didnt take it that way , ijust took it as ure tired and lackin of sleep and i feel ur worn out . i wish i could come over and help you and let u sleep all u want !
got pa here and im leavin tmr . starting to feel quilty for leavin him . but hell 2 days will poof on by .
hugs to u xoxox
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Seeme, what an awful situation! I really hope the doctors can do something. If the doctors tell you that she can't be operated, what can you do? The situations seems very difficult to handle in the long term. I am very sorry for you. As I always say, we already have enough problems!
Jam, I am glad COL seems more manageable. Anyway, the hours of respite which you will have thanks to the caregiver you are going to hire, will make all the difference in the world!
I had a good morning (I could bathe in the sea for the first time this year) and a bad evening (I had to fight with my mother to put her to bed, as usually!)
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Evening everyone, I worked a 12 hr. shift today, but wanted to share some really beautiful things I was blessed to observe..Marie has a blood disease that is Pre-Leukemia, and has to have blood transfusions...Sonny has mid stage Alz. While Marie was gone today he was so lost.. we did "yard work", for those who have kept track, Sonny loves to pick up sticks out in the yard.. We are having triple digit heat, so we had to get out there before it got too hot.
Marie gets back and is so weak, had trouble getting her in the house...as I shared with my friends today, she is very independent and I am having to let her set the pace for when I help her.. to make a long story short, she finally called me into her bedroom to help her change and get settled, she was running fever, I did all the things that just come natural to me.... as I got her settled, she said, "I guess you are going to quit now", I just kissed her and told her this is what I do, and I would not work for anyone else,, Patted on her bathed her with a cool cloth, and then went to fix Sonny dinner. He kept going in the room to check on her..... at one point I went to check on them and he was singing to her....... I LOST it, had to go outside and have a good cry at how much love and honor I saw with the two of them today.....How even with his mind half gone, the love was still there. and her love for him was all over her face... I am so blessed to have this job, Just wanted to share this with ya'll as it was very special to me... hugs across the miles...
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Ladee, you are a very very good person! Marie must think she has won the lottery. Anyhow I hope she gets better so you don't have to work double!
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They are sweet, anyway. Forgive me if my practical mind always comes first!
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Rosella, If mom is not able to have the surgery, I guess we will continue on with the way things are now. She will be on antibiotics on and off until they don't work, I guess. She has already had two rounds of macrobid since the beginning of May, a total of 25 days.

Last night she got me up every hour on the hour. She must have had a low fever, cause she was dripping wet twice and I finally had to change her pj's. So today I do the laundry, change all the sheets and try to get her in the shower. And her head was just washed Tuesday, have to do that again

Gonna be hot today and the rain we thought we were getting was a bust. The leech field and septic tank can be clearly seen cause nothing will grow over it.....we are officially in a drought. The veggies are starting to dry up, but we can plant again in the late summer.

Jam, if you are lucky enough that the col does not remember her dog, it might be a good time.................................ya know what I mean. Good luck today. Hope you managed to be in 3 places at the same time. If you did, let me know how you did it. I'm thinking one of those places I'd be would be Ladee's so she could pamper me.

Ladee, you sure got lucky this time. Someone must have realized you needed a REAL job and not a nightmare. Ruth is still looking out for you.

Rosella, jump in the sea for me. Linda is going camping. Are you going to get lost in the wild? Hope it isn't too hot where you are. Right now I can't do without A/C.

Must get going if I am going to accomplish anything today. My best to all...............
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Keep us posted about what the doctor says about your mother, Seeme!
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I sure will, Rosella.....after all, it is the main thing on my mind, now. My gut feeling says she would need a colonostomy and have to wear the bag all the time. I don't know how she would feel about that, and I don't want to bring it up. She already thought she was having an operation next week.....no, mom, just gonna talk about it again, maybe have more tests done. I'm not sure if she has enough good bowel left to remove the bad section and connect to the good because of diverticulosis.

We shall see next week....................
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It is so bad they have to suffer so much. They already have so many limitations...They have to depend on someone else. Many of them don't like it at all. And they see these very umpleasant things happening to their bodies...
My goodness it's sad!
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Afternoon Posse!!!!

What a day and I'm pooped!!!!! Let's see....one dog woke me up at 2:30...she doesn't like thunder, then they all woke me up at 5:30 to go out and potty. So I just stayed up and drank coffee. Since retirement, I don't believe in alarm clocks..lol. Got 2 dogs to the groomers in the pouring rain, came home and hospital called to tell us that the col was getting sprung. So drove in town to pick her up and guess what she wants to do first? That's correct....let's go shoppy-shoppy. Took all her scripts to CVS and she wants to get out and go in to shop! Took her home and oh she hasn't forgotten a thing.....especially one coffee table missing, but she didn't say anything else. First thing she wanted to do was go potty....I had to make her change, she was filthy and wet. We fixed her lunch and she didn't want much, but said "I sure would like a cup of coffee"......I'm sure you would but you haven't been drinking it for the last 10 days except at breakfast. She didn't want to take a nap after lunch, but did go outside and look at the strawberries or what's left of them. I ran to retrieve the dogs at the groomers and that vet, different place than I normally go, said no problem with taking the growth off col's dogs eye, and the tumor on his butt is not interfering with the muscle, so he doesn't see a problem with removing it. Guess what? Yep, we're changing vets. Col and doggie were happy to see each other....I'm happy to have one less dog under my feet. Hubby had col all snuggled up on the couch and she took a pretty long nap. So right now, I'm going downstairs to cut the long hair growing on her chin, trim and file her nails and fix her dinner. They have been giving her night meds around 9 pm since she is a fall risk, so I guess I will keep that regimen up.

Hope everyone has had a terrific day!

ladee.....my son is going to be down in your area on Monday....kinda sort of! He is taking 2 tanks down to Houston, then going to somewhere in Louisiana to pick up a load of lumber. He's excited because the load will pay very well. Since he changed jobs he is actually making money and is happy. He and his family moved about a little over a month ago and they have been happy and all feeling well. Son suffered constant migraines, and they found out that between both girls, 10 and 7, there were 52 visits to the nurses office over the school year, due to feeling bad. Dil has MS and she hasn't had as many symptoms. They are wondering now if there wasn't a carbon monoxide leak in their old apartment. Now they are in a house, with lots of room, and lots of area outside for the girls, making better money, and I couldn't be happier for them. After all, he is my 32 y/o baby.....:)

Will check back later..................

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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