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Cow pattie Jam,,, yehaw....
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Well, i just got through reading the many posts of tonight and i don't know whether to get my cigarettes out or my frozen margarita. I think i will do both. Just trying to get some humor back in this place. Glad it's over though. Love and hugs stormyyyy... Love all of ya'll....
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Damn i just missed it. The cow pattie that is. I was soooo close....
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I've been on Grossed Out--Need to Vent for a couple of weeks and just found this site. I've read back a few days, and I'm kinda scared to join in. Seems to be a lot of bickering. But, since, I'm relatively new at caregiving, I need all the help and support I can get, so I'm going to stick around and see.

As I said, this trip down loss-of-memory-lane is new, so there's a lot to learn. I learned something new today that I'd like to share in case anyone else can benefit. There was talk here of getting POAs. I thought I had all our i's dotted and t's crossed when we got what I call our Dead Documents done--wills, living wills and POAs, both health and financial. My husband just went through a psych eval, and the psychologist was talking to me today about the fact that she believes him to now be past competency and urged me to get a one-step-further document--guardianship. From what I understood, the gist is that the POA allows us to make decisions for our loved ones if they are unable to speak for themselves, and the guardianship allows us to override poor judgment decisions that our loved ones may make; e.g. if they wanted to start giving chunks of money to strangers, or they refused NH placement, but weren't safe alone, or insisted on buying a car and driving even though incapable.

There's so much to consider besides just wiping butts.
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Sheila, sorry about the bickering, it's not usually like that so thank you for taking a risk....there are many on here who know about poa and such... I am sure they will post later this evening....
yes, in order to keep your loved one safe and you being able to step in when neccessary is vital... then you can get on with wiping butts.... but at least you are covered legally and can help your loved one to not be taken advantage of....It a blessing these things are in place but can be mind boggling to a new caregiver.... you are very welcome here, hopefully the storm has passed and we can get on with things.... others will welcome you also.... let us know if you have any questions or just need to let it all hang out.... hugs and angels sent to you....

Stormy, I didn't know you smoked.... don't think there are many on here that do, I do, I tell others that it may be killing me but it is saving others lives... have smoked too long to give it up now....So put Conner to bed and fix your drink... long day with dad????? Relax and have a good evening....
Had a very good day at work, I really think Marie missed me... we talked more today than we usually do..... her and I have come so far... and then there's my sweet little Sonny man.... He slept until almost 9 this morning, but woke up with a smile on his face like always.... other than my back hurting, it was a good day.... Hope everyone else had a good day, check in and let us know how you are... hugs...
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hi sheila....don't be afraid to land here, you are welcome and we really are a nice bunch of care givers. It takes many voices to make a thread successful and sometimes everyone fits and sometimes they don't. Happens on all of the threads. This one will get back to normal now. I like your terminology...Dead Documents....hubby and I updated his mother's just recently and I learned a valuable lesson. Don't trust your attorney to get everything done correctly.....READ, READ AND THEN LOOK OVER THE WHOLE THING AGAIN. We found that the attorney wrote up that if her son, my husband was unable or unwilling to perform any of the duties then it fell to my son. Hello? And since it takes a notary and 2 witnesses to sign her Advanced Directive we can't get the attorney to go to her and get it done. So just be vigilant. Another thing we did was, if her money runs out and she is still alive and we must look to Medicaid to pay, we placed all of her money in a Trust acct......I can pay her bills and buy anything as long as it's for her and we don't have to mess with the "spend down" right now. When she does die then we would receive a bill from Medicaid for whatever amount they spent on her. I think her money will outlast her, but who knows? Yes, care giving is more than just wiping butts, although sometimes that feels like 98% of it.....lol
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stormy you can have my cow pattie.................I'll share...:)
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Stormy I'm with you..but I think I will have a glass of wine.
Burned thank you
Seeme and Ladee...thought the undies would be her by now myself...I always write order number down and then look for email confirmation...weeeelllllll....dummy me.. didn't write order number down and of course wouldn't you know no email confirmation! and of course the company is now closed...ah another item to add to the list.
Dad went to see hematologist today ... his kidneys are not producing the erythropoietin. He started on the procrit shot and will go back every two weeks for two months ...we will see him in march. Dad was diagnosed with pernicious anemia back in 05. they had to do a bone marrow test. at the time they found early myelodysplastic changes. as was explained today this is a slow deterioration of the bone marrow. the reason I mention this is that the treatment for deterioration is the same. ...
anyway he should start feeling a little better soon and maybe his confusion etc will abate a bit. who knows he may even stand and move better.
am tired has been an exhausting day. we are blessed to have a cancer center in our town..so we didn't have to go far. the doc was great.
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Vic, I will have to find out the name of what Marie has, sounds a lot like what your dad has... but she receives blood transfusions every two to three weeks.... other than being very weak sometimes she doesn't have the same mobility problems as your dad.... guess there are different kinds... i know she gets depressed sometimes because she can't get around like she used to... but she has been talking about recipes today, so maybe her and I can get in the kitchen and make some goodies... she can set at the table and I'll bring her what she needs and learn at the same time....and if it has chocolate in it we'll have to watch Sonny... he does love his chocolate.... !!!!
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Vic I bet you are tired after such a long day and hopefully the outcome will be an improvement in Dad. We'll be rooting for him to get up and move around. I could even teach him a "honeybee dance"......:)

Damn, my toe is sore!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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RE: POA I don't know if I was lucky or what, but my mom was strong enough when she got here, in mind and body, that she insisted on going to a lawyer to have a POA made up. She told him what she wanted me to be able to do for her. It did cost $275 to have done, but that was all I ever needed, anywhere, for anything. It listed all the selling of properties, all the medical issues including NH placement. Other than the fact that it wasn't a tear-off preprinted form, I never knew of anything else I needed. That same lawyer did her will with me in the room....and other than asking for me to leave momentarily, to see if she had been coerced in any way, it was easy, breezy. To be on the safe side, I did print off the computer a medical directive for this state and had it notarized, but I never filed it with the court....kept it in a file at home. Everytime we had to visit a new doctor, I made sure to ask if there was a form needed for those who could get any info about her health over the phone and made sure to fill out names of family members she wanted to know. I'm beginning to think I got away with things easier because if asked, I said I had everything.

A dear friend who spent 72 days in ICU had to be declared incompetant by the court, which did require a court visit to ICU, before his wife could become his guardian and therefore apply for his long term benefits through his employment. One of the first things they did after his recovery, and another competancy hearing, was to fix it so that never happened to either one of them ever again. Just not sure how they did that. Makes me want to cover our butts here...hmmmm.

BTW, Sheila.......welcome.....hope we have something to offer you. RW is new here also.

Jam, hope you can get a shoe on.......I would have a bowling ball on my toe by now....I'd rather put my foot on a slug in my shoe like neighbor Kathy did. Wasn't thinking bee this time of year. Bet you hurt from the dancing tomorrow.

Vic...sending you more zzzzzzzzzzzz's uninterrupted tonight.

9:30 pm and have been cooking for hubby. Only a few more days on this shift. Amen..............later...........
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I am sorry I didn't write yesterday so I have to say something about the turmoil here... I am sorry for Sheila who is new, and for RW who just bumped in a few bad days on this thread.... Sheila and RW, I "met" the "Grossed Out" thread almost 2 years ago, and when "the Careiver" thread was created I started to write on it, and I continue to write on Grossed Out because I have friends here and there. I agree completely on what Burnedin says. This site, as a whole, is great and helped me a lot and it continues to help me a lot. There are many different personalities here, very strong ladies and very sweet ladies. As everywhere in life. Of course there must be sooner or later some clash of personalities, as everywhere in life. I was lucky I got to know this site in a "calm" period, so when the first turmoil "burst" out, I could take it in the right way. I understand that if a person jumps in in one bad moment, he/she can feel discouraged. Please Sheila and RW, don't! Just hold your judgment for a while and wait until things are back on track again. It is really a pity if you lose this opportunity. This site really helps people and as I always say, I am still alive and relatively sane of mind thanks to it. We are tired and full of problems and sometimes we just lose our patience... But I really hope you continue to stay. We are REAL PEOPLE... and real people fight every now and then! Kisses, Sheila and RW.
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Things are picking up another hectic tactic on me lol but i am trying and sometimes it can break me down...I have those moments especially with dealing with depression added with grief of losing my grandmother last year. I say keep tossing me in the ring and Ill fight back...yes we do lose our emotions whether online or not. We do ....so I am hoping in time the past will be the past and we can move back to searching not for companionship but ourselves in the present....as a dear friend of mine use to say there is a special place in heaven for us caregivers whether we wanted to take the role on or not .....we are who we are no matter the walks of life we come from....hubby is giving me an easy night and so were watching a movie ....post when i can again ttyl Peace N god bless again I am on FB if you want to add me:) always need more support ...after all we may not be football players but were definitely a team of strong individual grp of men and women...
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Jam- thanks for the cow pattie, i don't think i have had but one since joining the thread. Maybe i can make the next one! I hope your toe feels better tomorrow and isn't too BIG!!! The other day connor and i saw a wasp(In January????) that's kinda crazy isn't it? Take it easy on them dance moves.....
Ladee- I have been smoking for a long time since i was a teenager. I have quit 3 times. One of those times was when i found out i was pregnant with connor. Then dad got sick and i started back from all the stress. There is no way i could do this caregiving stuff without smoking. I would be the BI%$# from hell. Gotta have my smokes. I know they are terrible for me but I need them right now or i will go insane and i can't do that right now, got too much on my plate. I can't be going to no looney bin. I'm glad that you and marie are getting along these days I know that must help with the stress level for you and her. And i am glad that sonny is still smiling these days. He sounds like a sweet man. And meeting Starri and her hubby in a few weeks that sounds exciting. You will have to fill us in on what all ya'll do.
Burned- Love and hugs sweetie. You have your hands full.
Vic- I hope you will be able to find something that will work for your dad and his undies. I wish i could offer more advice on that but i do not know much about it. Thank God dad can still do that for himself. The Mucus is enough for me and his feeding tube.
Shelia- I hope that you will come back here and post. This place has been what has kept me sane for the last 6 or 7 months now. It will be your place to go when you feel like you have no where else to turn. The girls here are wonderful and will offer you advice on different topics that you have concerns about. So come back and check us out. Love and hugs to all stormyyyy
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hello all.. it has been very quiet here today..everyone busy?
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shall I entertain you all with a current event that has nothing to do with caregiving but just strange human behavior?
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by the way yes mom has a torn acl but can't get the ortho specialist to repond. Makes me want to choke him.

How do you get treatment? Health care (at least from my mom's docs) makes me want to scream. I am so not used to this. I have not encountered this before, it is a foreign world to me.

Does it just heal on it's own or is there something other treatment need to happen? It sucks not knowing what to do and get no help from professionals. Any advice?
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If you all want to know about the "story" as sad as it is true let me know
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sure rw, let's hear the story, I am awake for a little while.... glad you came back...
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I live in an apt with mom and a neighbor I met that cares for her father started telling my about this wonderful guy she met
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well come to find out he is an ex con and after further conversation over a couple of months.. he was convicted of murder
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after some time she admits she has given him all of her money (retirement account and all)
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then next he has violated parole and is sent back to jail and she says she is done with him
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ok stupid me thinks ok she has learned her lession.. but oh no.. she says he is released and God says we should forgive,. and he is back..well
that's it for me
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I tell her how stupid I think she is to put herself and father in danger..well she is no longer talking to me..oh well..too many years in law enforcement to believe or to be taken in by any of this..what is wrong with this picture
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how can anyone be so stupid or desparate?? just makes wonder
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Oh no, our elders are just targets and end up victims so easily.... and now she is broke, and broken hearted too..... guess there is something to be said for not trusting and being leary of some situations..... sorry to hear this .... and murder?!?! How scaired she must be after the fact... does she have family close by??? Love can be deaf, dumb and blind sometimes..... what are you doing up at this hour??
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Not my place to judge his intentions but nor is my job to forgive
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just irrated about not knowing how to proceed on how to deal with getting my mom the treatment for her torn acl..I think too much at night
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I have always and still do have attentive medical professionals and have never encountered the way my mom's being ignored and it pisses me off
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