This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
And as for food....not much I don't like....sushi and oysters can go to the trash....hubby loves calamari which makes me ill......but most everything else I love.
Mis-take your time going through Grandma's things. There may be memories and joys to find as you uncover different items. Blessings and Hugs.
Ladee-so happy you all had a good day. It's it amazing how a cake - the activity, smell, sharing-can make things better. Smiles (and a grumbling tummy LOL)
Brandy-I am thinking about what you wrote. Why do we keep doing this? I can come up with a thousand different reasons, some good and some bad. Some days, I choose to think it's because we are the best people on this planet. The good Lord only picks the best. I can't change the world, or be a famous person that I admire, but I can care for my little corner of life and do something worthwhile. You are doing the same wonderful thing. Hugs.
Sheila-Bring on the vodka! With OJ, lime sour, kamakazzis, you name it! Who am I kidding - my chocolate martini mix will probally expire before I use it! LOL I've always loved vodka. I say it's because I'm Ukranian/Russian. I enjoy a drink, but come from an alcoholic family, so am afraid to start under stress. The last thing we need around here is for me not to be able to stop drinking. But I love to dream! So I'll join you for some Stoli or Grey Goose, at least here in cyberspace. And I'm glad you found us. Hugs.
Well, it's the weekend. Home with Mom. What will it bring? I really don't know, but I feel good today and ready for whatever comes.
Oh my goodnes , that was just way too much information this early in the morning....and I am sure I have caused others to START drinking.... lol
Happy to hear you are in such a positive mood today, hope it rubs of on mama, naaah, we know that's not going to happen....
Sheila, sorry you are having so many health problems of your own on top of everything else,,,, and I am NOT going to quit smoking... I know it may be killing me but it is saving the lives of others..... !!!!!
Gotta go feed my outside kitties.... love ya'll .... later.
Everyone is so chipper today. I'm going to build on that. There's gotta be a pony in there somewhere.
My neck, shoulders, back and knee are in a great deal of pain, but I'm grateful I'm able to rest, because Alan is being cared for by the NH staff.
I'm grateful I don't have a Franzia hangover.
My house looks like a bomb exploded in it, but I'm grateful that my Type A personality has changed into a Type Zzzzzzzzz, so I don't give two shits.
My bedroom is a disaster area with piles of clothes, but I'm grateful that I'll have a soft landing if I trip on them.
Anyone else what to join me in posting what your pony is?
Just in case someone doesn't know the story ~
Once upon a time, there was a mom and dad that had two children.
One of them was an optimist, the other a pessimist. Wanting to
understand why the two children were so different, they consulted
a psychiatrist, who set up an experiment to help figure it out.
The psychiatrist led the first child into a room that was full of
brand new toys. Immediately the child burst into tears. The
psychiatrist asked why, and the child replied "all of these toys
are new, and if I start playing with them I'm afraid I might
break one." Obviously, this was the pessimist.
So the psychiatrist led the other to a room that was full of horse
manure. The child immediately dove in, scooping out handfuls of
the disgusting stuff. The psychiatrist asked why the child was
doing that, he replied "with all this horse manure, there has
to be a pony around here somewhere, and I'm gonna find it."
I used to drink when I was young because I like to drink with other people. I don't like to drink alone, so I don't drink now because I am always alone. On the other hand, I am perfectly capable of smoking alone. And I am sorry I don't want to quit, I already have too many stresses in my life. There must be a reason why they advice you to stop smoking when you are on vacation!
sheila, great story.... I would be the "pony finder".....And a cow pattie is your prize for being the number 00 poster, in your case it is 5500, so cow pattie Sheila...
And I know a messy house, I have been wearing two different house slippers for days, it's not like the fashion police is going to run in on me....the other two are around here somewhere...
Jam hope your toe is better today, with it being cold tho,good excuse to not have to leave the house...
Can't concentrate, need to drink my coffee, later....
Sure have been missing Ruth alot here lately, just get this big lump in my throat and remembering all the stuff that happened with her..... guess I didn't have any time last year to really greive, but man is it coming up now.... some of you here will remember the banana and kitchen knifes in her pants episode.... and me being cursed in German..... and all the repetitive questions, but alot of good and funny memories too, her wanting me to lay down with her at night, her saying the Lords Prayer in German... ohhhh Lord I miss her..... gotta go... love ya'll
Hi anne.....good to hear from you again!
ladee....I remember well the trauma of the fx leg and bananas and knives.....big hugs sister....
sheila.........they sent me to the back of the line......
Ladeeda ~ Sorry you're feeling blue. Grieving sucks. It's soooooo painful. Cyber huts. I missed the knives and bananas situation. Sounds verrrrrry interesting.
Like Jam said, there's a world of info online.
P.S. Oh i don't mind washing and drying the clothes, I guess cause the machines do all the work it's just the folding and putting up....
Just spent the last 20 minutes posting about the banana and the knives for Sheila, and lost the damned thing.... AC is getting on my nerves with this crap, so will try again tomorrow, don't feel like trying again right now.... but Ruth was a character, that's for sure....love and hugs...
What is Foot Drop?
Foot drop describes the inability to raise the front part of the foot due to weakness or paralysis of the muscles that lift the foot. As a result, individuals with foot drop scuff their toes along the ground or bend their knees to lift their foot higher than usual to avoid the scuffing, which causes what is called a “steppage” gait. Foot drop can be unilateral (affecting one foot) or bilateral (affecting both feet). Foot drop is a symptom of an underlying problem and is either temporary or permanent, depending on the cause. Causes include: neurodegenerative disorders of the brain that cause muscular problems, such as multiple sclerosis, stroke, and cerebral palsy; motor neuron disorders such as polio, some forms of spinal muscular atrophy and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease); injury to the nerve roots, such as in spinal stenosis; peripheral nerve disorders such as Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease or acquired peripheral neuropathy; local compression or damage to the peroneal nerve as it passes across the fibular bone below the knee; and muscle disorders, such as muscular dystrophy or myositis.
I love the pony story!!! I'll go with it...
I'm grateful we move the furnature around so much because it's like coming home to a new house quite often.
I don't mind getting rid of alot of my decorations and extra kitchen things because then I can go shopping for more.
I don't mind all the doctor appointments because there's no reason for me to eat apples (apple a day keeps the doctor away).
Hey, this is kind of fun.
Have a good night everyone. It's been pretty quiet here today.
I'm grateful that I can't do everything for myself anymore, because my daughter and son-in-law do it for me.
I'm grateful that a car accident f*cked up my foot so that I can't wear heels and pretty shoes anymore, because I save so much money.
I'm grateful that a car accident f*cked up my foot so I can't walk far, because I get the prime parking spots with my handicap license plate.
It IS fun.
Here's my last one-
I'm grateful for the lack of time because I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up and no longer feel guilty for playing FB games, reading, or sleeping when I can.
Sleep well everybody.
Ok..here's one..I am grateful for all the poop..he isn't stopped up!
Sheila..well the undies work but he keeps pulling them down or calling me so he can pee..oh well
Plan on taking folks to church today..just depends on how dad seems. Can't do what I did last weeks when he was barely able to function. Will see what morning brings.
Had a good day yesterday..ran a few errands, enjoyed lunch with a good friend and vegetated...and clothes..well they are all clean .. Basket and ironing board full! Hahahaha
Watched my beloved Saints game..boy it was an exciting game! Boohoo they lost....
Did rest and the pain eased up so..guess I am ready for another day.
Love and prayers you guys for the best day possible! We are all ponies for doing this job..man proposes and God disposes.