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As usual I am emotionally worn out but worried about my sister. My sister has type 2 diabetes and the complications have made her unable to walk. My father and I are taking care of her. And to be honest it is not easy. She does a lot for herself, but most of the time I have to constantly make sure that she doesn't get infection, I have to check on her constantly, I have to buy her meds which are cost a fortune, She refuses to go to the doctor so everything is on my dad and me. I love my sister very much. She is my best friend in the world but sometimes it gets so hard to keep giving her over the counter meds, constantly checking on her and watching for infections as well as keeping her spirits up as well. I feel selfish for compaining because I can walk and she can't. but sometimes it just feels like too much.
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IT LIVES!!! The exorcism/projectile vomiting is over....still weak and sore all over, but the worst is gone. I have loads of laundry, a counter full of dirty dishes as hubby did nothing . Managed to get the dishwasher unloaded so far......just can't picture me vacuuming toay, so I will try not to trip on the big chunks....took the decorations off the prncil tree a few days ago, but the tree itself is still standing there naked.....wish it would take itself to the attic.

ASG....have been missiing you...gave me laughs, big time.

Mis...I have still got that feeling of empty nest.......and no animals yet to ease the emptiness. That's why I am so excited to be getting my furbabies. But when you said you found papers from "way back in the 80's", I sat here hoping you meant 1880's....doubt it....but "way back" means something different to me!!!!

I read where talking about death and planning for it, and calling out for mama, reliving the past......all those things are a part of the dying process.....like maybe 6-9 months out. Very morbid, but a natural process. Went through it myself with mom and didn't understand the process at the time.

I finally threw all mom's old medicines away......"lemonade" stand is closed.......it pained me to throw away the expensive inhaler meds..

I have overextnded myself already. 10 am and nap time....sorry.....ttyl
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Seeme - glad you're feeling more alive. lol Take it easy girl! You need to get your strength back.

Candi, - you are not selfish. You are an angel in your sister's life. You may have to resort to Tough Love to get her to a doctor. Realistically, she is making her own life decisions. But if you don't at least try "everything" to get her to medical care and something bad happens, how will you feel? Certainly not selfish.

No one should carry guilt when they've given all they could to care for a loved one and something bad happens. But I have a sense you will feel guilty if your sister gets an infection even though you are doing the best you can under her dictates.

What can you do? Hey crew....how can we help Candi? Any good advice we can offer?

Candi, help us to get onboard with you....give some more information in your profile.

You came to a good community. You have to take care of yourself in order to have the strength to help your sister. God bless and warm thougths. Feel the hugs. (((Candi))) Carolyn (aka Bee)
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Hi everyone! I have not been here in a while. Just dropping by to share some good news.

We got good news from my wife's biopsy today that there is no cancer and not any reason to have another mammogram done any sooner than a year from now!!! Thanks for everyone's prayers.
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Yea, Mrs. cmag!!!! Congrats!!! So happy that is over for you.......
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I had my parents in the same nursing home. It was a block from my house. I went to them every day-feeding them, monitoring their care, bathing them, taking them to md. appts and making sure they had social contacts. I did the work for the nursing home. They failed in every way to care for my parents. What happened to my parents in this place was monstrous. I came in one day to find my dad hemorraghing-bleeding out from his penis. I am a nurse. I know the difference between a urinary tract infection and something unrelated to it. I put my dad in my car and took him to a trauma center where we discovered he had three ruptured blood vessels from the radiation seeding he had had for prostate cancer. Six weeks and surgery later, I returned him to the same nursing home. I went upstairs to visit with my mother and found her unconscious and in respiratory arrest. I told the on duty nurse who said she was fine. She had just had her valium. I got her to the ED immediately without the help of the nursing home. The doctor told me if she made it through the night it would be a miracle. She did. She remained in the hospital for a month recovering from multiple drug overdoses, septicemia from an untreated UTI, untreated diabetes insipidus and a host of other problems. During the hospitalization I received a call from the nursing home doctor. He did not ask about my mother. Instead he was irate because I was "trying to ruin his reputation" by informing the hospital of his lack of medical oversight.
This is just ONE example of what I dealt with in a nursing home. God knows with all my heart if there were a way, I would get my parents out of the nursing home system entirely. It is a system that provides minimal care for maximum dollars. It is going on three years now and the work load is killing me. I have not been able to hold down a job. I have had to deal with a son who has been going through custody battles during this time, arrested over and again because of the law in this state allows an ex spouse to allegate wrong doing without proof. My life is spent in court rooms and hospital rooms and truthfully I don't know how I get up every day and do what I do. To take care of one parent through the maze of care and financial responsibilty is challenging but two is worse. Add that to the other life (your life) and it is worse still. Add insurance fraud, nursing home abuse and neglect, Medicaid, Medicare, bill payments, parental needs...whew...I am exhausted. Three years now of me taking care of all this "stuff". I feel for you all out there trying to make a go and make sense of what we call Elder Care.
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Welcome and WOW Riverleigh! Take a deep breath and let your hair down on AC. Look around at the various threads. Wherever you go on this site you will be welcomed and hugged - with the occasional "hut" (long story). Vent, laugh, cry, offer your experience and nursing expertise. You will fget to know some incredible people. I wish you the same comfort and friendship I have found here. (((Riverleigh))) Carolyn (aka Bee)
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Good Afternoon Posse!!!!

CMag..........yippee!!!!! Woohoo!!!! please give Mrs. CMag a big hug......so happy to hear the news!
seeme....glad to hear you're better....don't push yourself or it will take longer to get your strength back.

Welcome Candi......please don't feel selfish...you are doing something a lot of siblings wouldn't undertake....feel good about yourself that you are able to take care of sis. Is her diabetes controlled by meds, diet? Has she always had diabetes or is it age or weight related? You might have to get tough with sis and explain that without a doctor's supervision, if she gets an infection it could have very bad consequences. By the way, is sis older or younger than you? And how is your health and Dad's? Come back and visit.....we would love to get to know you.

Riverleigh............Oh my goodness! You have my utmost respect and sympathy. Is the NH your parents are in the only one in the vicinity? There is no excuse whatsoever for the treatment your parents have received. I'm sure your being there for them has prolonged their lives.....big hugs to you! I don't know about the doctor, but in my area the NH "house" doctors are not usually on staff at any hospitals, and don't have an office other than what is provided at the NH. In my experience I found them to be not very knowledgeable....plainly put. Come back and visit with us and let us know how you are getting along.

Hope everyone else is doing well....my brain is too sleepy right now and I don't want to miss anyone. Had to get up early to take my little chihuahua to the vet for dental work and he woke me up at 3:30 and of course my brain wouldn't shut down to sleep, so I'm tired today. The col is doing well today.....the worst part of the dementia took the day off.....she only complained about missing her newspaper and she had to reminded there is a paper there for her to read. Problem is, she stopped reading the paper about the time she got the new glasses....which by the way, she never wears.
Will check back in later......

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Yeah... I am glad my daughter is better at reading ...for me its hard to juggle motherhood and time for the kids and hubby....hubby still waiting on the insurance guy to call back...he messed up hubby has more policies than we thought and need to get all that transfer to me....my daughter just came home from a half day from school...i can't get her to clean her room...they both been stubborn but they love each other....I had to take train set away from my son cuz he threw a piece of at her and luckily it barely missed her eye completely. Hubby is resting and still tries to help me out some but i told him he needs to rest a few days ...at least i won't go into details but i made him feel super good. he is upset and blames himself for everything and I said do not talk like that...you cannot control things...i think of one the reasons he fell apart is cuz he felt guilty in not taking care of his mom and grandma...He had been their unpaid caregiver and living with his mom....been there when his grandmother broke both hips and his mom when she had surgery for removing a gallbladder...these ladies were admirable somewhat self sufficient but no one else in his family took the time to look after them the way he did. he sacrificed a better part of his life before he got married and then got loaded with insults because he wanted a life...just so many things he has done good has gone unsaid...I had a spat with his niece ...I just let out i got tired of his family not calling...not giving a damn...them expecting me to relay the news...I am not calling them when he goes...he has needed them in his life and they just ignore him and go on with their lives...the pure hypocrisy of it all makes me sick ...the dysfunction in his family makes mine look like a cake walk...Candi ...use tough love...get ur dad on it tell her u won't do anything more for her until she see's a doctor...she can die from it and go blind ....even worse scenario keep repeating the fact she will have her legs amputated...she will developed gangrene ...she will die ....she needs to manage her diet and try to do the right thing...also check with her seeing a therapist...some if it may be emotional issues... JUST DO IT and DO NOT HOLD BACK....take away her sweets ....u name it and look for her stash....u name it do it....do not let her get her way....she needs to fight and ppl have overcome type 2 before...my mom has diabetes and my grandmother has type 2 diabetes....therefore sooner or later i will have it....I know ....just fight the good fight and hang in there...
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Btw posted on the dysfunctional thread ...might see how i ended up overcoming the dark side of the force...
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Hope everyone has a good evening. I finally took a nap this afternoon, but I got all my chores done that I allotted myself today and I am whipped. Hubby 's first day on day shift, so he is ready to call it a night, also. Two old farts going to bed by 8:30 pm....oh, well. Everyone sleep well.....I will dream about hairy fairies..............
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evening everyone... good to see new posters, hope ya'll come back and join the family here.... it's one tough job and we can not do this without having a place to say how we feel about it all...
Seeme, the excorcist..... oh Lord, (excuse the pun) glad to hear you are feeling better but don't push yourself....the worst that's going to happen is M will get ruffled about something not getting done.... refer him to Ladee if it gets ugly.... Ok???
Candi, as everyone has said you are not selfish.... selfish is walking away and letting her take care of herself.... glad you came by to visit, hope you come back if nothing else just to have a place to vent.....
cmag, great great news about Ms. cmag... I know you both are feeling blessed right now after all that stress . Tell her we are very releived for her...
River.... you certainly put my whining into perspective with your post.... what a load you are carrying.... hope you come back and take time for yourself....
Burned, no one can accuse you of not being a survivor.....but have to give you kudos for keeping your head above water all this time.... tell the kids if they don't go to bed I am coming over there.... trust me, they WILL go to bed.....
Jam, poor baby dog... I know he'll be in your lap for sure tonight.... I need dental work too, can you let your vet know I'll be to see him soon and ask Target if he'll pick up the tab.... it won't hurt to ask......
My long day tomorrow, going to chill and try to ge to bed early....
hugs and angels to you all....
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I had written a long post and when I "submitted" it, it got lost! I am sorry I'll try again tomorrow. Welcome to the newbies. Let's always copy our posts before hitting the "submit"!
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Have complained to admin about us loosing our posts. guess we'll have to start our own sight, then problems will get FIXED,,,, that's what caregivers do, we FIX things......
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Welcome Candi- You are not being selfish. We all i think have felt that way at sometime during our journey of caregiving, if not all the time. Come back and visit with us as much as you need to.
Welcome river- And your story sounds like a nightmare. I am so sorry you are having these problems with the nursing home. It is a shame that they do not take better care of these elderly people. My prayers are with you and your family.
Burned- you are so young to have these kinds of problems.You have really got your hands full. My prayers are with you!!!!
Seemee- Glad that the exorsist is feeling better. No more throwing up green, I take? Love ya.
Jam- I hope your baby feels better soon. Give her lots of love and hugs...
Ladee- I need you to come here and work your magic with connor. Especially on the discipline part. He has hit the terrible fives!!!! Love and hugs to all stormyyy
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Ros- how's the new baby doing? Dorothy right? Lily was twelve weeks old friday. She is getting a little belly on her. I don't want her to get fat though, she is too little to get fat. Hugs to you stormyy
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Stormy, tell Conner Aunt Ladee is on her way, and he AIN'T gonna like it, so behave and do as you are told.... orrrrrrr, you are calling Aunt Ladee... kids mind me because they are not sure if I mean what I am saying and are afraid to find out.... I'd have that boy on a routine in a hearbeat......but I'd have to lock you in another room..... wouldn't I????
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Probably so Ladee, Probably so. He is not so bad going to bed. Its the not being respectful to me mainly, sometimes to hubby. But mainly me.
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And omg i get so tired of telling him over and over and over to do something or not to do something. He just does not listen to me. ugh...
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Well, i guess i better see if i can't get him to lay down and leave lily alone. I will check back in later once i get him down. hugs stormy
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hi every one. I haven't slept in a few days so I am tired tonight. Just stopped in to say thanks for the warm welcome. Haven't quite got the hang of all the stuff on this site-I don't usually involve myself much with the internet. It's nice to meet you and glad to know there are lots of folks "out there" doing right by family and friends by being care givers. Hope I can contribute a bit to help a few of you get through the rough patches.
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You FINALLY got the cow pattie Stormy...... yehaaaa!!!!!
I would not lay a finger on him nor raise my voice, and I would have him saying yes ma'm in about ten minutes...... he is a good boy, most all kids are good... but I wouldn't be a young mom again for anything... after all we are now calling my son, Hairy Fairy....but that is a statement about his adult choices.... not the way he was raised... that's my story and I'm sticking to it...... going to bed, long day tomorrow... hugs to everyone....
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Hairy Fairy? OMGoodness Ladee,
Yipeeeeee- I got the cow pattie!!!!!! Hugs stormyyyy
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Stormy you'll have to read back over the posts about the laundry fairy... hence the Hairy Fairy...
River, glad to see you back, I don't think of it as the internet per se, I've known some of these ladies for a long time and it's more like setting down and drinking coffee with friends, or drinking rum or all the other stuff we talk about here... not just caregiving... tho that is our main focus... we get silly sometimes, but you will feel the genuine love and support here.... thanks for filling out your profile, it helps us to get to know you.... and you get to know us.... hugs from all of us to you....
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Welcome to the new posters.

cmag- that's good news. Give Ms.cmag a hug for me. I know you two are relieved of the news.
seeme- glad that you're feeling better and M is on a normal shift. I'm younger than you and I got to bed anywhere from 8:30-9pm cause I got to get up so early.
stormy- yahoo!!! you have a cowpattie. :)

Yesterday, I finally got some cleaning done while the chili was simmering in the crockpot and even made a dozen of cookies. I was tired by the time my hubby got home. I did find a newspaper from 1851, now that thing is pretty darn old. We put it in a safer place. Also we found grandma's high school diploma and an autograph book from her senior year that was pretty cool to read through. One of our neighbors called and was checking up on us and was wondering if we were still going to be neighbors and I told her that we were. She was relieved. My hubby goes over plows their driveway since her husband can't do that stuff anymore. Speaking of snow we're suppose to get some tomorrow night. I wished it would hold off cause we're suppose to head north depending on the roads. Spring can hurry up and get here. Hope everyone has a good day and talk at ya later.
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Short post so it doesn't get lost:
Stormy, Dorothy is:
as smart as a fox
as hungry as a shark
as happy as a skylark
as fast as a hare
as stubborn as a donkey.
A big personality in a very small dog.
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Ro, there couldn't have been a better dog for you in the universe.... give her kisses for me... and and extra hug for making you so happy.... love ya
mis, good to hear from you... how awesome the things you are finding.... and the autograph book, priceless.... hope you get to go north and have a good time, you and hubby deserve it... think about you often.... hugs
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Cmag-how awesome! Good news for you and the Mrs. Hugs.
Semee-glad you are feeling better. I've been sneezing alot - hope I don't get a cold.
Vic-Lately, I've had so many errands to run, I stop a couple of places after work. It is nice to delay homecoming some nights. I won't be able to do that when Mom gets sicker, so I do it while I can. My sis lives 800 miles away. She is great support on the phone and by email, though. I'm blessed to have her.
Welcome to the new posters. You are going through alot. Blessings and hugs.
Still quiet at Casa Crazy. Dad's first treatment is tomorrow. And more chemo for Mom next week.
Have a great day!
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notlike, hope this is not the calm before the storm with your mom, you must be on high alert for the next explosion... how stressful on top of everything else.... love ya... happy Zen day to ya....
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Ladee- I'll try to check out the hairy fairy. Is it a long ways back on the post?
C-mag- meant to post to you last night. So happy for you and the wife. This is wonderful news for all of you. Now ya'll can go out and celebrate (LIFE)!!!!!
Ros- that is a big personality. Sounds like ya'll are two peas in a pod. Glad that she is a good match for you.
Well, better go check on pops. I hope all of ya'll have a great day!!!! Love and hugs stormyyyy
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