Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Mix up at the oncology lab, so Marie came home, got off at the regular time... but will go early tomorrow... came home and crashed.....
hope everyone had a good day, later, hugs...
(0)
Report

What's a cow pattie?
(0)
Report

Riverleigh here. Met with attorney with my son today. Ex wife made allegations this week that my son molested their daughter. We are in for a very tough fight. Caring for my son is just as difficult as caring for my parents. My mother called me 11 times today to discuss for the 11th time funeral arrangements. Each call is new to her-not to me. She was crying and worried. So here is what I told her: We decided that you mom will be buried in the back yard, down by the river, next to the pets in a coffee can. It's just cheaper and since you have 8 kids we could use the money to go on a well deserved vacation. She said " well, ok. But it has to be a Maxwell House can and not too close to the river, cause if I get wet my name will be mud!" Mamma. got to love her. Have any of you had parents who were just flat proud of the plots they'll be buried in? My folks love their cemetary. Episcopal, ancient, dad would go clean their plots every week end. Mom was ecstatic that she and dad would be buried under a great old oak, next to the bishop and his wife. I guess no subject is taboo or too bizarre to deal with when you are a care giver. I am
(5)
Report

hi alll....I finally achieved some long overdue rest and almost feel sane...on the other hand things getting worse for my sister in law that lives here in ajo...her exhusband gave her thirty day notice...she still hasnt gotten the since to leave ...bad enough she almost destroy the relationship with her children,,,neither of the two will be stand up enough to take her in...she may have parkinson's besides bipolar ...so what do they do ...they ignore her. I feel for her but I am not gonna let myself be trapped to look after another family member ...its not my responsibility...its her childrens which are both fully grown btw. Hubby is doing ok tonight so far no episodes and seems very talkative even at night when i am trying to sleep....still hoping for the best ...well i guess that is my vent for tonight at least...
(3)
Report

River, you had me laughing this evening... needed that .... mom sounds like she has not lost her sense of humor.... sorry about the mess with your son..... hopefully this will not be a long drawn out deal, accusations are not proof... and poor granddaughter, in the middle of something she has no control over... prayers for you....
Sheila, a cow pattie is something that cows leave in the pasture after they have had lunch.... AND it the prize you get when you post with the last number being 00, something we started at the begining of the thread and it' just stuck, sort of like a cow pattie in the pasture.....
(3)
Report

Glad I buzzed through tonight....River....sounds like never a dull moment with Mom....precious memories! Sorry for the mess with son....when my son and his first wife divorced it got pretty ugly, but thankfully not to the point your son's has. And he has custody of his 8 y/o daughter.

burned....glad to hear you got some rest. And yes, you shouldn't try to take on the burden of a sil.....not your responsibility, especially right now. We might find you sitting in the corner talking to yourself.

stormy.....how's Lily and the housebreaking? Saw that you finally got your cow pattie....woohoo!

ladee.....so glad you had a regular day....doesn't that feel good when you realize you can go home and relax? Hope you got a good nap.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful night...you're all in my thoughts every day.....and prayers are sent for each of you that your burdens will be light.

Happy Trails,
Jam
(3)
Report

River...lol..look back a couple pages you will see me talking about the same thing...we constantly listen to funeral arrangements and the special dress. You are right. No subject is taboo. Like you I try to find the humor in it. If I didn't I would lose my mind as well. Sheila...do what you like with your cow parties when you receive one..I like throwing them at people im irritated with(hypothetically of coarse:) Ladeeda maybe today was a good day for you to leave early. Jam...I thought about you today. As I was passing by palm..I saw the camp grounds and told hubby as soon as we get the chance I want to come down here. It looks so very peaceful. I hope the kids aren't to old before we get the chance:( auntie knock o only wood hasn't had anymore behavior episodes. Im hoping this is a new turn for us. It sure makes it easier when she didn't come out and throw fits. The cat has calmed down so much..she's not a cuddled cat by no means but loves to lay across the top of aunties chair with her. I have to remind her here and there not to feed the cat people food. For some reason its very sensitive to people food. Gets an infection if she eats to much of it. My kitty is getting bigger. He is such a comfort for me. I see why so many caregivers have them. Its so calming to have them close. We'll im thinking and praying for all the caregivers out there. Just remember sunny weather will soon be here. We've not had much winter to speak of so far.
(2)
Report

Hazardous stormy for getting the cow pattie!
(0)
Report

Oh gosh!!! My phone makes me so so mad. It was supposed to say yaaaaa stormy.
(0)
Report

Hi, everyone. First actual post, altho' I have been reading this thread for several months. I have been reluctant to post because my situation is actually very good at this point in time. My MIL has been living with us for about 2 1/2 years and is still quite independent. She takes care of herself and her cat and helps around the house with dishes and laundry [she FOLDS most of it :)] I do get frustrated at times because her short-term memory is shot and I often answer the same question or hear the same story many times in a day. Also she cannot seem to remember where things belong in the house, or how to do activities with "modern" appliances, etc. I have a pretty good relationship with the other family members, both in my husband's family and in my family of origin (both sides are small families) So tonight I am feeling grateful that things are as good as they are and I thank all on this thread for helping me to realize that I can detach from my little problems and carry on. I am very shy about posting, but I do read a lot.
(5)
Report

Seemer I miss all you guys to when im away. I try to drop in but sometimes am not able to post. Good news about flags wife ya. Vic..ok I had something to say but have forgot. Rozella..hay lady. Sounds like you have a new baby food for you. Burned...I pray for you in your situation. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Young children take up so much time as it is. It is so easy sometimes to go along with what they want because we get so busy cargiving they are the easiest to please. We feel guilty for this...then we feel guilty because we know they need more of our attention. Our hearts break when we see this affects all them to. A few wonderful people have made the point to me on here that kids are resilient and strong. It was so hard for my kids at first to get used to all the changes but it seems like they have. Im hoping they will learn important tings like compassion from all this. Something I've learned myself is...when we have the tendency give into kids because at the moment we have something going in with the person we are caring for...so its easier sometimes to let them not go to bed just yet,cause we are to busy to argue...or its easier to say...I will just clean their room myself instead of making them cause its quicker and I can't deal with arguing right now. Its
(0)
Report

Asg- Aww. thats ok i knew what you meant. Hope you r doing well.
Well, I thought the cow pattie was a lucky charm. And i'm going to keep on thinking that. Glad i got one!!!! Thanks for all the congratulations on getting one ya'll.
Jam- Lily Lou is doing some better with the bathroom issue. But she still has her accidents. So i am hoping the poochie bells work that mis is sending me in the mail. They might be here this weekend along with the panic button(life alert).
Everything is pretty much the same on the front with dad, although me and sis thinks he is getting that neck infection again that looks like a yeast infection around his trach tube. ugh. It's something all the time.
And me and sis have not felt too great this week. Her back has been bothering her and she thought that she maybe having some kidney stones. So i was having to take care of her and dad today.
And then i have developed a huge cyst under my breast that will not pop. I have never had one there before. Although i have been plagued with cystic acne for years but that has gotten better since i started going to a dermatologist. The cyst is just sore. If it has not drained by monday i am going to the dr to see if they can do something for it. Well, i fell asleep trying to get connor asleep so i think i am going back to bed now. Night all. love and hugs stormyyyyyyy
(0)
Report

Or I will look through the backpacks later. When I have time. That time never comes...so you have sleepy kids the next day from nit getting enough rest,cranky cause they didn't do their homework and know they will miss recess,and the whole morning is outta sack.nothing can be found. They go to school and you feel tinges of guilt cause it didn't all get done. In the end I have learned to take the time anyway. Its hard I know. I learned not to let the kids argue about anything. When they start in I say ...im not securing with a 6 year old. Im the mom,you have do do as I say...now do it. Bit mom. No but mom...not arguing with a 6 year old. Eventually thy learn. Same way with the bedtime. Its so easy to say fine...let them fall asleep when they fall,then you don't get your quiet time...then you are irritated they didn't listen. And you caved. Get them back into going to bed at a certain time. Make sure it gives you time to yourself..but reasonable to them. Tell them go to bed..don't argue. If they get up...put them back. You are the parent. Tell them that. I had to spend. almost a week setting next to their rooms in a chair at bedtime to make them to stay. Did I want to? No
(0)
Report

It would have been easier at the moment to just let them out. But instead I sat there. If they got up. They went right back. We take bathroom break before we go to rooms. We also have a snack and gt a drink. Does this all take time? Yes...but after a few days it gave me more time for myself.which I needed. And so did they. It not easy. I can't imagine what you go through. My hubby is away most nights for work. I had to learn the hard way how to juggle the kids with the cargiving. You can do it to. You are a strong lady to do all you do. I can tell you love your kids very much. I hope this help:) prayers to you.
(2)
Report

Marj, welcome... we hope you come around more often, even if things are somewhat calm for you, you still have things to share, a place to put that frustration of answering the same questions all day, or hearing the same stories.... that's a big one and it does get old, and it does get irratating.....
And if you've been reading this thread for awhile, you know us, now we would love to get to know you.... just jump right in.... it was very refreshing to hear that things are good for you in so many areas....we need to hear things like that, it gives us hope....so hope we see you again...
ASG, I love reading your posts anyway, but especially now with your new phone.... it's like a puzzle, we get to try and see what you 'meant'.... and great suggestions for being a mom with added responsibility of caregiving... does Stormy know how many little ones you have???? I always love reading your posts ASG, and wish we heard from you more often..... love and hugs...
Ok, we are going to try the long day again today.... that's why I am up so early... did sleep all night, AFTER calling the cops on the illegals and their music at 10:30, am starting a search today for another place to park this thing I live in.... I am too old and cranky too keep putting up with the crap that goes on here all the time....said I am going to cut my stress this year, and living somewhere else will definetly be one less thing to be upset about....
But the good news it they know me at the police dept. now, so I all I have to do is give my name and they know why I'm calling....sometimes it takes them 30 minutes or more to come out, during those times I am setting here thinking, hey, I know how to get them here faster, and all the beautiful visions of me out there with a baseball bat breaking all the windows out of the guys truck goes thru my head..... he sets in his truck to listen to his music..... so after awhile the bass and my heartbeat are the same.... one of these days, one of these days.......they don't speak English, I don't speak Spanish, but a baseball bat is universal, especially with a fat old tired lady on the other end of it..... but they don't let you smoke or have internet in jail, so those are my deterants..... so far.
Ok, gonna go make the big bucks today.... as ASG would say, blink blink, ok......
Going to take my laptop today, after I get all the Suzy Homemaker crap done, think I will play some games and just let Sonny rearrange the whole house if he wants to.... yep, that is where my mind is today....
Love, hugs and angels to you all today.... later, much later....
(3)
Report

Good Morning Posse!

Up with the chickens again today! BRRRRRRR.......it's 13 degrees out there!

Welcome Marj........glad to see you join us and just jump right in and post whenever and whatever you want. I read your profile and it's refreshing to read how you are getting along with the caregiving. Your mil sounds like mine was in the beginning....except for the appetite. Mine always tried to tell me how large she was and even though she had an appetite like a lumberjack in truth she was 5'4" and 120lbs before she lost weight, then we managed to put that back on her this last year. Her mind is now gone to where as soon as the words are out of our mouth she forgets. So come back and visit with us.....we love making new friends and this thread has wonderful care givers and very compassionate ladies....and sometimes CMag pops out of his man-cave.

ASG......I sure hope we can get the lake house sold this year since we can't convince ladee to come here and buy it.....:) The kids would probably like swimming in Wheatland park. Sounds like Aunt is having some good days....I'm glad for that. Is everyone feeling better? I saw on your FB post where hubby wasn't feeling well.
stormy.....don't let that cyst go too long....you don't need an infection. Sorry to hear Dad might be getting another one. How's sis? Is she prone to kidney stones?
sorry for the long day today ladee.....but if you take your lap then I'll probably see you on FB.
Ladies please check in so we know how you are getting along.........hubby is taking me to lunch today and we will be visiting with the col also....must check her ears and make sure they are working....last time there I was having to hunt down a quilt so I need to find out if they ever found it. It's so much more cheerful for her than the green bedspread that is provided for her. Will check back in later....hope everyone has a great day!

Happy Trails,
Jam
(1)
Report

Oh and ASG.....I absolutely love reading the posts from your phone! Keeps my brain working.....:)
(0)
Report

Hi all...busy day yesterday but good. Dad didn't see any bugs and knew where he was!! Woohoo.. He did get mad as a hatter because I had to cut his toenails...thank the Lord done for another few months! Whew. He has had his bath and he is up eating breakfast. Mom feeding him. He did do pretty good at dinner last night...fed himself. Good days bad days.. Just thankful that I can be here for them despite the craziness. Mom..well she is just great! For 91 she can do just about anything..some things she shouldn't and thankfully she doesn't try anymore. She drives me cockoo but be cause we are a lot alike..you know like mother like daughter!! Hahaha. Parents both love my hubby so I am grateful for that too. They really get along well and he is so patient! Have day off today..guess I will do a few chores around my house and love on my kitty...
Kids..well you do have to stay on top of them or they learn they can run all over you! Don't know if I could have handled this when they were little..but we do surprise ourselves! God doesn't give us more than we can handle! I know I know...while we are going through it is really seems crazy but when we look back..we see He was always there. Love and prayers for a good day in all our situations!
(3)
Report

Oh Jam..don't forget to stop by hobby lobby or the dollar store for a flower for the COL?..love ya!
(0)
Report

Jam: Sorry about the cold...but you reminded me about a site on the web I visited looking for patterns. Have a question about chickens...I crochet and I came across a pattern for chicken butt warmers. A lady who owns chickens said her rooster pecks the chickens tail feathers off and since she lives in frigid Washington state, she crocheted butt warmers for her chickens (about 70). She took a picture of her chicken (herd?) what do you call a bunch of chickens? all wearing colorful butt warmers! You seem like a reliable source...so I will ask...can you Really put butt warmers on chickens? You just never know with the internest and photoshop...I have the pattern but I can't figure out how the end result would well fit over the chicken end...?
(3)
Report

Well I don't know about butt warmers but I know they used to have rose colored glasses that were placed on the chicken's beaks to keep them from pecking and drawing blood....I guess if they see blood they go bonkers....I guess I'd better Google butt warmers....lol

Thank you for reminding me Vic!!!!!!!
(0)
Report

Jam-got a appt monday at 9:30 to get it check out. And sis just has the occasional kidney infection or where her back hurts where the kidneys are. She feels better today though. I just hope they don't have to cut me monday. UGH...... Love and hugs stormyyyyyy
(0)
Report

Well, I had a whole long post ready and it went into cyber space upon submissions.
Suffice it to say, I've read the posts. I'm laughing about the chicken butt warmers and a few other things. But I don't have time to re-write now.

So......hugs and warm wishes to all. TTYL Bee
(0)
Report

Glad to hear you have an appt stormy.....now don't cancel...:) If they need to lance it, I know that stings, but better than it getting really infected....and it will be over before you know it. If sis isn't already drinking cranberry juice, she might want to consider that. Don't know how much that really helps, but a lot of people swear by it.

Had a nice visit with the col.....oh my goodness the things we said to her didn't even penetrate....she just kept looking at us and saying "I'm so glad you came to visit". Her doctor came in to see her while we were there and she decided to show him how well she can stand. Butt didn't move off that wheelchair an inch. Her quilt is no where to be found. If it hasn't shown up by Monday, going to call the administrator and tell her that it would be a good idea for it to show up. I hate to buy things for other peoples' beds when the col is the one who should have it. After the fact, it will be donated, but not before.
Lack of sleep is catching up with me....power nap time.

Happy Trails,
Jam
(0)
Report

Marirob, please continue to write. It is so refreshing to hear stories of happy, or half-happy, caregiving!
River, when my mother's head was still working, she always talked about her funerals, mostly about the place where she wanted to be put when she would fly in the sky. As it happens in many southern italian families, we have a family vault (well 3, in fact) so I grew up listening to my mother and aunts and grandparents arguing "I want to go there: above Uncle xx and under Aunt yy, while you can go in the other vault, between granduncle zz and grandaunt ww". and it seemed very queer to me. Apparently, there are better places and worse places. Why? Is there a better view? Creepy and funny at the same time! But I have to confess that last time I was at the cemetery in my home village I started to think: "Where will they put me? Can I choose?"
Burned, I know you are sorry for your SIL, but you can't keep her too.
Ladee, what's the point of having a mobile home if you don't move it when you don't like the place where you are? I am sure that if in the weekends you will look for a better place, you will find it.
There has been a revolution in my pet family because I have always fed Camilla, my oldest dog, with better food because she is the oldest. Dorothy realized it and she wants the same food as Camilla. Now Erika (the 3rd girl) has realized it too, and she wants the same food as Camilla and Dorothy. And Rexy, the boy of the family, is on strike too. So I cook pasta and meat for everybody, and nobody wants it anymore. So I give it to the neighbour's dog, who eats all the pasta of my 4 dogs and he doesn't complain.
Dogs!
(3)
Report

BTW I bought the chair on wheels for my mother (I had to assemble it - 200 pieces! It took me 2 hours!). When my mother started to call me I was in the kitchen and she was in the living room. I put her on the new chair and carried her in the kitchen with me. She was there for 10 minutes and then she told me she wanted to go back to the living room. So I said: "Don't call me anymore, otherwise I take you back here in the kitchen". Apparently she understood because she didn't call me anymore and after a while I found her asleep on the new chair. So I directly put her in bed and it was very good because I could push the chair close to the bed. (I have to explain that the kitchen and the living room are adjoining, so when I do the cooking I am 2 yards away from my mother who is in the living room!)
I think she likes the mobile chair, after all!
(4)
Report

Yaaaaay Ro, something as simple as a chair with wheels.... and it gets her closer to the bed... what a great investment, even if it took you two hours to put it together..
So the furbabies have found a leader in Dorothy and now you have a rebellion....Bet the neighbor dog is one happy little bundle of fur.....You never know, he may have put them up to it, smelling all those good smells coming from your kitchen.....The Diva gets special food too, but she is fifteen and I only have the one....spoiled babies, but no sense in having them if we don't spoil them....
Am glad this week is over...but Ro, the motor home doesn't work, I had to have it towed here... but I can have it towed somewhere else....and beleive me, if it would drive... I would already have moved... but it's a plan in progress.....I am surrounded by millions of acres of woods, surely someone has a spot for me and my ratty trailer....am going to put an ad in the paper and see what happens... at least i'll feel like I am doing something....
will check back in later.... going to try and get rid of this headache.....
love and hugs...
(0)
Report

I have no room for her here and her constant bickering...not ever gonna let it happen..the woman is fighting to get her ssdi but she has been denied and then had it taken away etc etc...she is not with it and sleeps away. the one time i get into it with her when we were staying with her and her ex husband she actually got up and start cleaning after bad mouthing me ...thinking i had no back bone....I have it all the way past the neck with his family....lol funny thing she said i didnt know how to be a mother when I took her kids in for almost 3 yrs before I had mine...So no...she is gonna have to go to homeless shelter or one of her children is gonna have to stand up and accept the burden. Her ex husband needs his life and house back....he doesn't want to be her babysitter.,,anymore than I. My husband has gone a paranoid bent is that more common with epileptic ppl or no....because he is worried that his siblings will come out of the woodwork when they haven't given a damn at all ...even in o7 when he was on his death bed then also they said they didn't want no part of it. I am also having to force his primary doctor to give me MPA early because he doesnt write checks and barely knows what he is signing unless i explain it to him. I am also having a nasty panic attack after doing errands and cleaning house. I am firm with the kids but they got mix of missourian and kentuckian blood in them...so it makes for alot of stubborness. I havent been able to take them to the park or anything because they do not listen....right now hubby is trying to help but they think he is not serious enough....How can I tell a 5 and almost 7 yr old what i have to do to where they can understand ....I am at a loss ..I love them but on the flip side i may have found a regular sitter hoorah for me...ill be able to manage hubby's appt better and she has excellent references...so maybe i can apply for child care vouchers with the state to compensate for the baby sitting cost cuz i am still looking for another job besides the one I have...so any ideas...
(0)
Report

Riverleigh-My parents have funeral plots and I am tired of hearing about them, too. They bought 4 when sis and I were young. Now they want hubby and I to have them. I'd rather be cremated, but I guess i'll take the free spaces. My parents actually went to the cemetary this week to discuss arrangements. I told Dad a basic funeral and burial would cost 10K, but he didn't believe me until he heard it from the funeral people. I know because we burried my FIL a few years ago. Dad;s thinking of donating his body to the Medical College like his brother, so I have to research that.
Ladee-I can see you and your baseball bat, in full righteous glory! Please bring it here and use it on my neighbor who is shoveling outside the bedrooms at 5 AM!
Jam-hope you find the quilt.
Vic-sounds like a pretty wondeful day. So glad for you.
Stormy-prayers that cyst gets fixed without problems.
Rossell-So cool the wheeled chair worked! My dogs eat like crazy things. Eveyone has their own bowl to start with, then they switch around until they've checked the other bowls. They all get the same food, everyday, so I really don't know what they are expecting to be different! LOL
Burned-panic attacks are awful. I know, I've had them. Please talk to a doctor and see about getting some meds. It really helps. Your pediatritian might have info on helping your children cope. There should be resources out there. Hugs.
Dad had his first treatment yesterday and it went well. Thank goodness, One down, five more to go.
Mom's got a sinus issue, but OTC stuff is helping. Her old doctor gave her antibiotics every time she sneezed. I don't agree with that, and have told her so. I've also offered to take her to the doctor if that's what she wants. She hasn't asked yet to go, so we'll see if she gets better on her own.
Another weekend - yeah! There's always too much to do, but I'll get some of it done. And a nap!
Have a good day everyone.
(2)
Report

Good Morning Posse!

Up early and had a nice long post written and POOF!!!!!! Need more coffee before I can do it again. Thinking of you all and will rewrite in a little while................
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter