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Everyone has been very quiet today, I hope that means everyone is getting to enjoy the day some.
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I've been doing TAXES and I need alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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stormy.....I agree with seeme......keep him home, keep him quiet, keep him hydrated and hydrated and hydrated. Give him clear liquids, broth, chicken soup, then work you way up to more substantial food. How many kids in daycare keep their hands clean? They're always into something, wiping their noses, sneezing, coughing.....just little germ magnets......he'll get better but he needs to be away from the source for a while.
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would give you some, but don't drink, the hardest thing I have to offer is Dr. Pepper, I use to do our taxes, but ours were the simple 1040's. Your probably having to do those that have 18 pages to them..lol..

Beyond resting, I haven't done nothing today.
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Other than rest, I've done nothing today but some reflective writing and coasted along because my energy level was not as good as yesterday's.
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The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today? --- I feel darn so and so.. same old same old! Groundhog Day is what comes to my mind. No not that I'm living in a winter country. On the contrary it's so sweltering hot here in the Philippines. How AM I doing today? Just happy I got you fellow caregivers here online I don't feel so alone and I feel welcome. I feel we women must uplift the moods of one another. I am in the middle of my soul-searching trying to discern should I seriously look for the love of my life, to follow my heart and to say "I do" when I find him.... easier said than done. When a guy comes here to visit me, that's when the real challenge begins. I don't hide them my circumstances. I just hope they will truly understand that I'm not postponing anymore this part of my life wanting to find a mate, because I've postponed far too long already because I thought I'd let mom finish her business first, before I start seriously looking for that man! But I got my epiphany that life don't tarry backwards. I'd better search while I'm still a bit young & healthy. I don't wanna pass the chance. And I'm not getting any younger, and my daughter would benefit from having a balanced perspective of having a "dad" to call her own. Anyway good luck to me! Today is a "me" day so I love the chance to share my thoughts & feelings here. Tomorrow it will be another work week teaching online, and it will be another day for my mom and me at home together, while my daughter goes to elementary school. And few more men to chat online, hoping one of them is the Mr. Alright. Cheers everyone! I wanna watch the recommended movies "Groundhog Day" and "How to Train Your Dragon." I've finished Friends with Benefit and Bad Teacher already. These 2 gave me some funny moments to laugh cheaply while staying at home over this weekend. Perhaps this week I go out a bit for an ice cream sundae at McDonald's... cheap simple way to get back my balanced footing.. 19 years of caregiving is darn too long! I give myself a pat in the back.. will u guys give me more please? LOL hugs & kisses everyone
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MH, of course you get lots of pats on the back... I can not begin to imagine 19 years of what we do... and yes, look for that wonderful man that is going to appreciate what you have done in your life.....
What do you teach online??? and good luck with finding Mr. Right and hope he also has money... money is good too.... best wishes to you, hugs...
Jam, yes,it is rum and coke time.... bet your little head is smokin'....Is Target feeling any better???? Put all the IRS stuff down and relax and get some alchohol in you... It'll put the fire out in your brain..... love ya...
Stormy, there is no other way to ask this than to just ask it... why do you ask us questions and then not try any of it..... especially for Connor....If you had spent the past few days throwing up and going to the potty would YOU want to eat??? Get him jello, gatorade, thin soups.....We've all raised kids and managed not to kill any of them so mabe we know what we are talking about.... he's just little, it doesn't take much for him to dehydrate.....and keep him home until he is running around and getting on your nerves...THEN it's time to send him back to day care..... I hope I didn't piss you off or hurt your feelings.
Just a lazy cold day here, reading and snoozing, talking to the cat... by the way she agrees with me all the time, thats why I talk to her.... love ya'll, check in and let us know how you are....
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River-sounds like a great book. Glad you got a breather.
MH-Pat! Pat! Pat! and many more. Welcome, and glad you found us. I've been caregiving for 4 months...you are an angel for doign it 19 years.
Today good: Stayed in my pj's ALL DAY! Just because I wanted to.
Today bad: Sat on my leg, then tried walking while my foot was asleep. Came down on it wrong and sprained my ankle something fierce. Big lump, lots of pain. Oh goodie.
Today Good: Mom offered to help me make cake since I'm a gimp. She and Dad did most of the work, and it actually was a nice time. And the cake was yummy.
I no longer expect perfect days. But I am grateful for a decent one like today (minus the ankle)
Hope everyone had a decent day or better.
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Hi again, been lurking lately because busy schedule and no time for the computer...barely managed to read posts let alone comment. Mom(my MIL) appears to have gotten over whatever was "bugging" her. I did talk to her doctor about the possibility of a TIA and as expected he told me there is almost no way to tell unless she happens to have one during an MRI to check for blockages or such. The chances of her agreeing to one of those are slim-to-none so for now we will just carry on as we have, but keep a closer eye on her. And we are back to the usual frustrations of dealing with a 90 year old with no short-term memory....like trying to convince her she does not need to wash the dishes with soap before they go in the dishwasher! She so wants to "do her part" and not be a bother.....I just take a deep breath and let her do what she will. Often I think I have the opposite problem from many of you....Mom is so determined not to be any trouble that she will not let us know when she needs or wants something. There are times when I know she does not feel quite the thing, but I have to ''read between the lines". She will not request anything special, and even if I offer something, tells me not to bother because she does not want to be a burden! Arrrrgh! Believe it or not, that kind of attitude can be as stressful as constant unreasonable demands, because I have to try and guess what is going on.
So I take a moment to remind myself to be grateful she is as independent as she is, and the jobs she does around the house are really a big help even if I DO have to wait on her and/or hunt for things she has put somewhere other than where they belong......heck, my DH does that all the time! :)
Hope everyone has a restful night and gets a chance to watch the big game tomorrow if they want to. Super Bowl is one of the few sports events we pay any attention to, and then mostly for the commercials! Mom will probably stay in her rooms most of the afternoon because she doesn't like the noise of the TV. Hugs to all who are stressed this weekend. Like everyone else says, take a few moments for yourself, and don't let anyone tell you that it is selfish. Your loved one will survive and you will be a better caretaker if you take care of yourself FIRST!
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Morning all! jam...I thought about doing taxes yesterday...does that count?!?! Hahahahaha ...I am a big procrastinator when it comes to taxes..don't know why...but there it is! The new caregiver came yesterday..stayed awhile and talked and answered questions...when I got home both parents were smiling happily! Mom said she really enjoyed Asher and thinks dad liked her too! Praise God..He knows what we need!
Marjorie...know what you mean about your mom ..she is the opposite of dad..very independent, sharp as a tack at 91. Still gets around ..doesn't want any help.."I do too much " ..it has taken us awhile to get in a routine of sorts...she does quite a bit of puttering. She loads and unloads dishwasher, takes care of her laundry, makes her bed, pays her bills..I do statements.., she makes her and dads breakfast but I take care of lunch and dinner.. It is still so aggravating when I stop to do something else then come back and find her finishing what I didn't..errrrr .. At least I have stopped her from climbing step ladders, she will sneak outside without telling me..not that there is a problem with going outside but what if something happens! Of couse she doesn't need any help to walk..I can do it myself! ...
I have learned to back off and give her as much independence as I can..while running around making sure there isn't anything on the floors that she will bend down and pick up or get the broom....try to outthink them is like crazy!! Oh well....I am very grateful that she is in such good physical and mental shape.
Dad is doing ok...staying the same bad days aren't quite so bad right now..yaay
My day yesterday was nice...I cuddled with my kitty at home..and your right ladee she has never not once talked back to me..but she is very demanding when she want fresh water or fresh food and a treat!! Haha
We will try to make it to church today.. Then the big game...although don't think dad will make it as he has been going to bed pretty early these days..forgot to raise his legs a little last night..he is so squirmy..when he called to pee he was already scrunched down at the bottom of the bed!! So got him all fixed up...dummy me! Lol
god bless all of you and pray that whatever situation you are in that it is the best day possible!!
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Visit with Mom went Very well yesterday, VERY WELL! : )
I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Here is a little line I use sometimes, you might find it useful down the road, or at least have a little laugh. "Not only did he/she get on my last nerve, he/she stood on it, jumped up and down on it, and ground it into the dirt! LOL! "For when the times get rough"
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Today was my first time when my wife of 52 plus years ask me the question when is my husband coming home? I told her to looked at the pictures on the walls and then ask me that question again. Still it was a shocker.
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Good Morning Angels!

We've heard from new friends and old friends and how much better can that be?
MH.....PATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPATPAT....for you! And say a big yes when you find Mr. Right!
notlike.....ouch! Too easy to snap an ankle....if it's not better in a couple of days better get an xray. So happy you had a good time with Mom and Dad....and cake too.
marj....your mil sounds so much like how the col used to be. She wanted to do everything for herself and for the most part I stood back and let her do it then I would go along behind her and redo it....but she really lost the ability to do that a long time ago.....that came with an epiphany the other day.
Vic....so glad you got to have some cuddle time. And I bet kitty appreciated that too. My chihuahua was a bit frustrated with me yesterday since I ignored him a little too long....he went on a kiss and hugfest last night.....takes the tension away.
johnycares......good to hear from you. Yes, it's sad and breaks your heart, but remember all the love from your wife that she has given and this is not her fault...it's a short-circuit that she can do nothing about.

Taxes.....is there anything worse? Well I guess a diaper full of pingo.....but finally got them done. Did the col's first and I kept coming up with this huge overpayment, she always pays her taxes quarterly, so my son had to come help his poor ol' momma......and he came up with the same. And yes, long form for us and the hard part was trying to figure out the form for foreign credit. That's what had me running in idiotic circles....and causing a dependency on alcohol...:) Started printing it all and Target is having kittens..I made the mistake of hitting the "save return and worksheets"....52 pages later.......what saved us this year is paying our own insurance premiums.

Couple of days ago we went to a reception at the hospital for a couple of friends who are retiring. It was so good to see old friends and Target is much loved and missed by the hospital personnel. Everyone was asking how the col is doing and then that made us talk about her later......and we came to realize that her dementia actually started back around 2002. We thought about some of the things she did, like getting confused with simple driving directions. We were so busy with our own careers that we didn't take the time to even think that there might be a problem.....if we had I don't know that it would have made a difference or maybe it would have made things worse....perhaps leaving her to fend for herself for those few years kept her brain more active. How do you know?

I hope everyone has a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday....I'm having lunch with 2 sisters today, then watch the game tonight with Target.

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Good morning everyone. I tried to post last night bit it fell through...oh well. Jam I Love nurses to. Matter of face I use a NP for the kids healthy child checkups and will take them to her for an ear ache. The kids love her and call her by her first name...miss Wanda. However anything more they go to the pediatrician in the city. With auntie,she's on so many medicines, her b/p is so high its a very fine line she rides between high b/p and hypertensive urgency. One little screw up of the wrong cold med could send her for a tail spin. We are also right in the middle of changing some of those meds. It seem somehow between what was given to her at the hospital and what she was already on something wasn't right. Plus I was pretty peeved that she called auntie up and tried to get her to let her take her to a different clinic to see a different np without talking to me. Yes she is her own boss but if she wanted to be helpful she should asked if there was something she could do to help. Not gone on her own own and tried to tale her somewhere else.
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When auntie told her no....I had made her an appt. For the next morning with her doctor...she did try to talk her into letting her drive her. I don't think so. Again if she wanted to help she could have called me and offered to help take her places. She was asked once to help with the hair appt. A year ago but was to busy that day. She had a lunch appt. With her friends. No thank you. That with the people who stopped me in town 2 days in a row with a bunch of misinformation showed me her heart was,and it was in the wrong place. Got it from here thanks! STORMY---you got a little one with the pukes? Yep we can look forward to that in day care...plus when they go to school. Remember when the h1n1 was going around. Mine didn't get a vaccine. It hit the school ramped and someone who worked there clued me in that the school was technology supposed to shut down because to the percentage of kids outta school but wasn't because of money issues. I kept mine out for over a week. They didn't geget it but everyone else did.
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Anyways. When someone in my house gets sick I have to act quick to keep it to a minimum. Hand sanitizer is a half to have. I go around a couple times a day wiping the door knobs and video game remotes, and anthony else they touch a lot with diluted florid water. Watch your clothes though. It really helps. Some people use Lysol wipes..but im cheap,everything cost me 5 times more. My sister uses all this cutsie hand foam and kids products with a frog on it. She only has one though. But I think she gets the stuff at walmart. Something else my kids love when they ate sick is jello water. Mix it up like in hot water like your gonna make jello then I pour it into a coffee mug, or sippie cup when they were that little and they loved it. It was good for them. If its a stomach bug...I was told by the doctor and it really helps. No milk products for a few days after they are better. Something about the virus feeding on milk and it revamps it. It really helps. I noticed a huge change in how long they keep stomach viruses when I quit giving them milk products. I was the worse for making them a milk shake when they didn't feel like eating. Or those little pudding cups. It seems mild slouch for them to handle. But it all has milk in it. So now we stick ti jello water, chicken bullion broth,jello...then move to other food. And take a break from the milk products.
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I hope he gets to feeling better. It hard enough caring for an elder+a child then to add sick kid to it to. Your a good momma. I can tell you really love conner. He's very lucky to have you,im sure he will grow up to be compassionate and loving I can see that in you when you write. MARFIL--- hey lady...so good to hear from you. You are an amazing woman!!!! Glad to hear about big work that's exciting. Pat pat pat...and kisses back to you. Yes honey you make such a good point about life not going backwards. Sometimes I think as caregivers we do that to much. We say I will do such and such when my caregiving is over. Not knowing that could be a while. So yes you find love. The right one will not care,you will be a kewl in his eyes for what you do for your family.
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Johnny I'm so sorry about that. That would be a shocker. In the nh in he alzhiemers unit it was so common to see sweet wonderful women who had always adorned their husbands seem to misunderstand other residents for a spouse. The spouse would come in and they would be holding hands with someone else. In their mind it was their spouse.I always thought that would be so hard for them. Most handled it with grace..some not so well. One man ordered we not allow his wife to set near this man. Wasn't allowed to eat with him wasn't allowd to set and watch television. The sad thing was this man looked strikingly similar to her husband. Even though she couldn't say much she thought it was him. And it comforted her. One sweet man came in faithfully and sat with his wife. He said it bothered him a little at first but she seemed happy to set and hold hands with this gentleman. So the husband would come set next to them. Would give the man company to. That man had no visitors ever. Both reactions are normal. Just remember she still loves the man she married. Its the disease that dosnt know. Inside she knows. Then again...sometimes I try to pretend I don't know my husband either if he puts me in the right mood:) maybe she's having a lucid moment:) jk. My great grandmother had early onset alzhiemers and would run my great grandfather out of their bed at night. Very insulted that her dad would sneak in bed with her. Of coarse her dad never did that. It was the alzhiemers but back then they didn't know so much about it. I guess it tore him apart. I don't tell you that to worry you,but just be prepared for anything. We have at least a little more of an upper hand now days cause they have done so much research. We are armed with so much more information that what we've had even 20 years ago. You love your wife with everything I can tell. Try to find the humor in what you can....and the human in what you c
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*find the humor in what your can...and the human in what you can't* im sending you an extra big big hug and prayers today cause I know you need em.
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Vic when they want to be independent it is hard to remind them to be careful my mother gets so upset when we try to help my sister just tells her if she falls she will be in the hospital-it is impossible to be with them all the time-she does get hurt every so often but she takes risks that she should not take.
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I been dealing with physical issues here lately mostly my right side, I believe i am having gall bladder attacks again. Then hubby told me his (2) wasn't right and then last night he rolled off his bed but doesn't remember it and if this heart medicine suppose to help its not his pulse is going all over the medicine suppose to be working doesnt seem to be...
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Asg- Aww... You are such a sweetie!!!! Connor is feeling better so I am hoping he is on the road to recovery. However, I felt like Hell last night. I just knew i was coming down with the stomach virus. I went to bed at 9 last night. I just kept thinking if i can go to sleep maybe i will quit feeling like this. I never did throw up just feeling nausea. Still felt kinda puny today. Not had much of a appetite either. I just hope it leaves me whatever it is.
Asg- I will try the jello trick, sounds good to me. Well i hope ya'll have a good super bowl day. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Welcome to all MH big hugs and gentle pats for you,19 years is a long time.. Mr. Right is out there, he just hasn't gotten brave enough yet to show himself.. Johnny, I know how that must hurt, just try and keep in mind, it isn't her, it's the illness.

It seems that everyone is having a better day, it's been a lazy one for me, haven't been doing much at all today, I'll be missing the "Big" game, we don't have a TV here in the motorhome, been without one since August, although we have had the opportunity to watch some when we either had a hotel or were at a friends house.

Even if we did have one, I don't believe it would be on the game..lol, I'm not a football fan and Glenn isn't a big one either. Give me the History channel or Animal Planet.

Back started acting like it wanted to go out, so I went down and soaked in the jacuzzi for a while, feels much better now, will miss having those available once we hit the road. Everything is looking good for a end of Feb, first week in March take off.. Big hugs everyone
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Johnny , good to see you back, but wish it was under happier circumstances.... it is very sad and very hard on the family when thier loved one doesn't know who they are... I know you are sad... come back and let us know how you are doing...
Like Starri, it's just been a lazy day... cold here and that is unusual for us....
Have been working on a sculpture of a doll head, relaxing when I can be creative... haven't done anything like this in a long while....
It's not even 8 and I am ready to go to bed, but know I can't... I'll wake up at two in the morning and won't be able to go back to sleep....
I would find a place to watch the game if the Saints were playing... WHO DAT???

Hope everyone had a good day, love ya'll
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Hi everybody I have a lot of work to do and I am buried under the snow! I shall try to post photos on facebook later and I shall try to write tomorrow. I hope everyone is alright.
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morning everyone... am going to do this day with gratitude... so let me start by telling each and everyone of you I am grateful for you in my life.. helping to keep my sanity, making me laugh, letting me see I don't have it so bad, it could be a lot worse and has been.....I have a roof over my head, such as it is, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, loving and caring friends... a job, gas in my car.... rent paid, All of my needs are met..... but could not appreciate it as much as I do without knowing some of you are having heartbreaking struggles, back breaking work with loved ones.... caregiver burn out.... and all I can do is love you and appreciate you, each and every one of you....
Now I may be an out of control freak by 9 am, but I am trying to start it with love and gratitude....hugs across the miles to you all....
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It's a wonderful way to start the day Ladee, we all should follow your example, tough to do I know when your up to your neck in the trenches, but we all have our blessings, be they what they are. Like you, I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, gas in the truck and bike. Most importantly, I have all of you, friends that understand and love me. God gives us what we need, maybe not what we are wanting, but what we are needing.

I have a quiet day ahead of me, got a little running around to do, but beyond that a lazy day... been having several of those.. Almost for a year now..lol, Glenn and I are going to be heading back to SC soon, if the situation with his Mom doesn't require us staying put on this side of the USA for a while. His step Sister is currently living with Mom and Mom's condition has been going down hill fast. Physical ad Mental, we believe it's the onset of AZ, she's having more and more problems being able to move around.

We're planning on stopping and seeing her again on our way out, Glenn and his Sister Kathy went up the other day. We'll stay over a couple of days on our way out of CA and then head for Surprise and then Giddings, we will make it to Giddings and then see if we need to head back this way or continue on to SC. Eventually we have to make it home, just not sure when, and what we are going to do when we hit there.

Hope that everyone has a wonderful day...
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Good Morning Angels!

Have read back over some of the posts lately and I have noticed that even though everyone hits the occasional rough spot in their care giving....when each one of you closes your eyes at night you are still a loving, compassionate, supportive group of care givers who wouldn't trade what you are currently doing. And those who are not currently care giving wouldn't change a thing about the past. I am blessed to know all of you!

The col is on a campaign to come home. She has decided she has no friends, she is losing her identity, she is a prisoner and there is no reason she cannot come home. Her Alzheimer's prevents her from realizing that a wheelchair won't fit in her house and neither one of us can lift her. Her comeback is "you're a doctor, figure it out"......or "get stronger"......I'm just thankful she forgets in 2 minutes. I still expect at any time to get a call saying she went to sleep and didn't wake up.

Supposed to rain here today so don't know that I will get out and go anywhere.....maybe it's a good day to crochet and watch tv.....laundry done yesterday.........hope you all have a wonderful, peaceful day!

Ro..........I hope you are staying warm and safe.....have been thinking of you!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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With the new changes here I haven't been notified of all the posts.......only a few, has anyone else had this problem?
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I haven't been consistently notified for a long time now, changes haven't changed that!! I keep one notification on my email so I can go back and check to see if anything has been added..... but I do like the changes..... but then I am the thread problem child too, so what do you expect....
Hope everyone has a good day.... quite here yesterday.... everyone trying to stay warm or dry or both...ready for some sunshine... grey days are getting old....
Ro, even tho this is your first snow in twenty odd years, you are one awesome photographer.....not everyone can take pics of snow and make them so beautiful..... hope you are staying warm and get to get mama out of the house soon.... at least push her chair outside the door for a few minutes so she can see the snow, then bring her back in....
Everyone else, let us hear from you so we know you are ok.... love, hugs and angels...
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