This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Sorry to hear about Aunties fall, and thank goodness you are finally getting some help..... I know that is going to help out a lot..... give you a much needed break, especially this summer with the kids out of school....
Seeme, loved what your sister sent.... but most of us are not 'into' sharing....... just grateful we have some....
Will check back in later....
Hi Vickie Vic.... more later, hugs.
Love the name. I joked with my hubby one day asking him if he thought the ativan was prescribed for the nurses or the patient
ASG.....isn't it funny how they can stand in front of you with this look of innocence, denying they fell, while they are turning black and blue? Hope the HH aide works out well.
lirp....is sis taking Mom to Florida permanently or just for a while? Yes, you are correct with mono.....nasty little condition and so many poo-poo it off like it's nothing.
austin.....the house isn't THAT clean..... it wouldn't pass the white glove test by a long shot. There's places in this house that would run screaming if I showed up with a dust rag in hand.....there's corners I haven't seen for a long time.....:)
The col is still trying to get us to bring her home....she sounds so pitiful and whiny...she's trying every angle she can to get us to do what she wants. I hate telling her no, but trying to reason doesn't penetrate.
I just got my March Family Circle magazine today and it has a good article in it about memory.....what's normal with aging and Alzheimer's.
Happy Trails,
Jam
Good luck to everybody! I'll give you a new snow bulletin tomorrow.
ASG....didn't see that on CNN, but sounds interesting......
Well yesterday I ended up in the emergency room. I was having pain in my shoulders and a burning sensation across my chest. So better to be safe so I had hubby take me in. I ended up getting admitted and they ran a stress test. I couldn't get my heart rate up to where they wanted it to be. I have this dang brace I wear for my dropped foot and couldn't walk as fast as the treadmill was going. They couldn't find anything on the stress test and said it was skeletal problems and released me and said if the pain worsens to come back into the er. I called into work yesterday for today since I didn't know how long that I would be grounded for. I gotta call my manager and see if I still have to manadatory training tomorrow. I was having the same pain I had about a month before I had my heart attack. I go back to see my cardiologist next month. I'm thinking that I really need to take a leave from work to see what the heck is going on with me.
Even though the patients take the Ativan..I think it is for us!! Lol!
Jam..prayers for you guys too...know your hearts are heavy.
Ladee Lou..hope you are better.. Hate this weather..hot cold ..get sick! Ughhhh
Thanks for letting me get it out of my head this morning..... maybe I won't be feeling sorry for myself as the day goes on..... love you all and prayers and angels
The other day my mother called from the nursing home and left a message on my voice mail that she wanted to know what my plans for moving were. What? I don't have any plans for moving myself or her for she is in a good nursing home and her husband can visit her everyday. When I visited her, she did not say a thing about my plans for moving. So, I did not bring the question up. She did ask about her brother who died two years ago. When I reminded her of his death and my bringing her a CD of his funeral, she remembered that he was dead. She said that she had forgotten only temporarily. She's lost tract of time for she thinks it is time to go Christmas shopping and wanted some money so that she can go shopping next week and she thinks by then she will be ready to get out of there. This is so sad for she cannot even get out of bed on her own. Upon, visiting my step-dad, he told me that she might even forget that I visited her today when he sees her in the morning for he's noticed quite an increase in her bad vs good days as far as her thinking goes. For right now, she knows who we are, but she might reach the point where she does not remember us.
Changing the subject, I went to see my sleep apnea doctor and she said my machine needed to be reset in light of what I told her I'm experiencing with my current machine. Instead of getting another sleep study, she gave me the option of borrowing a CPAP that automatically senses what you need to keep breathing while you are sleeping. I'm using this for two weeks and then we should know what my machine needs to be set to.
If the setting on the CPAP turns out not to be the problem to my not having the energy that I need to get through the day, then my psychiatrist is prepared to increase my anti-depressant and if that does not work take me off of nuvigil which is not working and put me on something stronger. I somewhat think that is where we will end up. I will see him on the 22 of February. My new lab results should be in by then also, but I doubt they will show much.
I am glad to learn that we now have an endocrinologist moving into our city for ours left several years ago and I have been having to go out of town for mine. Now, I can have this tended to here which is great given the price of gas.
It's snowing again! Dorothy, my youngest dog, is outside now (it's 5 in the morning) and she doesn't come home. There are no dangers - there are no cars at this time, and anyway they would not go fast - but I am afraid she is starting to like boys and she is not neutralized yet!!!!! I hope she doesn't get a cold with all this snow. I go out every 10 minutes calling for her but she doesn't come. Oh my! How stressful is the life of mothers.
More snow pictures tomorrow!
Burned..you needed rest the day wasn't wasted! Prayers!
Ladee Lou... So sorry you are feeling so down..it is a tough situation and it takes a toll on the mind,heat and soul...not to mention the body. Say a prayer for her when she gets ugly..I used to do this and should do it more often..when I had a tough boss ....it helped me at the time. The answers will come try not to think too hard it is sometimes our downfall.
Baum..glad to hear things are getting settled
Mis..hope you are taking care of you..
Dad seems to be in a stable way lately...clarity comes and goes and as the day wears on so does his body..some days he is soo hard to move around..but he seems to be in an ok place right now
Our new caregiver will be here again today...I have to go to the stores and run errands..don't want to but it will be good for me to get out...and brrrrrrr it is cold!
I have all of you in my prayers and thoughts...
Ro, please tell us Dorothy came home...hopefully she just lost track of time, let us know....the pic of the vatican was beautiful....I know you are liking/not liking the snow...
Electricity was off all night in the whole park for some reason.....got down to 28, so my little electric heaters are working overtime trying to get this place warm, setting here with my coat on.....
I'll check back in later, love and angels....
BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........it's 7 degrees out this morning! Supposed to snow on Monday. So sorry to hear some of you have been sick.....I hope that passes soon. And others have been muddling through paperwork.....time consuming and a real pain in the tush.........but you will get through it.
oldwonderful.....happy to hear that you have found resources to help you....and a coffee shop to make new friends.........we had a little place open here a few short years ago and now I see that it's closed.
CMag.....good to hear from you. Hope you can get the CPAP back on track. The loss of memory is so hard to deal with, but at the same time it makes it easier. The col is the same as your Mom....can't get up alone but is ready to go shopping.
Ro.....are we going to have to start calling you Grandma? I hope Dorothy comes home soon!
mis.....hope you have called your cardiologist. Only you know the "feeling" and whether it's something to be alarmed by or not. As I used to tell my patients....if it's nothing then that's great and you can go home.....if it's something and you ignore it.....you might not get the chance to go home.
I'm going to have to make a list of our friends here.....my brain is not awake enough yet to not overlook someone.....and each of you are very important to me!!!! Today I wish you all peace-filled hearts and minds and a shared smile to help you through the day..........it makes people wonder what you're up to....:)
Happy Trails,
Jam
Been a slow day here, hope that means everyone is relaxing and getiing some 'me' time....
Been a cold and boring day here.... hope you all are ok.... love and hugs
Love and Hugz to all.........