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You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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Sheila blake this is a good saying. And so appropriate for caregivers. I was thinking myself this morning how I can be in the biggest burned out funk when auntie gets sick I go into crisis mode. As tired as I am...im not feeling that (shoot me now)over whelming feeling. Isn't that crazy!!! Somehow our little crisis has temporarily pulled me outta it. Anyways,she's getting better a little slower this time than the last. Still not sure what the nausea is. She threw up again this morning. Its nit much. Just a little. Then can't eat much the rest of the day. I teased her this morning that she must be pregnant. She loathed and said that's it. I said I knew I shouldn't have let you run around the hospital by yourself like that. She laughed again and said don't know if im more impressed about having a baby or running around the hospital!!! Its cold as you know what this morning. Maybe gonna have a little snow. Wippie. The one year the kids get a sled....we've had a mild year. Im a big kid to. I normally gt out in it. The year we had the ice storm us adults were bigger kids than the kids. We all loaded up went to my moms place and found us a half mile hill to sled down. On ice. It was awesome!!! When I I was younger id sled down anything. Thea cellar ....the pond bank(the backside of coarse)...dirt road...anything that had some incline. Anyways I better get in there and make sure she held down her meds. Hope everyone has a good day.
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Hi alL...as everyone is saying it is cold here too! And supposed snow Monday then rain and warmer temps! Now wonder we all are getting sick!.... Didn't take parents to church today ..it was 18 .....urrrggghhhh... I left dad in bed and went brought them Communion back. ...been a lazy day...
Prayers for all....
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Hi girls! ASG I like snow, too. I walked and took photos and enjoyed watching my dogs play with it. What I don't like are the side effects - I have to stay home because my car is not equipped for driving on ice, and BTW I live on a hillside so it is very dangerous to go up and downhill with the ice. Dorothy came home early in the morning! She is in a stage of pre-heat so now I must be more careful and keep her home until I can neutralize her.
It seems our snowy days are coming to an end... I saw a flock of swallows today and in Europe it means spring is arriving. It is the same there? They were so cute, so black against the snow. I am looking forward to go back to normal because I miss taking my car and going out 2-3 hours a day. But I will miss snow. It was not so dramatic for me as in other parts of Italy where they really had serious problems...
I am worried for Greece now and I just think that in Italy we'll be the next ones to crowd the squares and set fire to buildings.
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No patients today at work, so I can catch up on personal stuff :) It's good to read all the posts I've missed.
Burned-Sending prayers for your hubby.
Cmag-good to hear from you. Hope the C-pap,new meds, and new doc work out. My Dad had his second sleep study this weekend, so they could set up his C-pap and O2. The tech told him that his Dad died in his sleep and that's why he started working in medicine. I hope that convinces my Dad to use the machine.
Vic-glad your Dad is doing okay.
Ladee-Sending you really warm hugs so you have some heat. :)
Hello to all the new people. Please keep coming back.
Well, I spent Saturday morning in the ER with Mom. Her neck swelled up overnight. No problems breathing, but it was weird. They said it could be from the contrast dye on Friday, or because her lymph nodes are irratated. They didn't draw blood or anything. And they made a point of telling her to get her CT results this week, so that makes me wonder if the cancer has anything to do with it. I have some Googling to do, I guess. We see the doc tomorrow, so we'll find out for sure then.
I was also able to shut her up when she started in on my Dad. She expected me to agree with her, and I just said "Do you really want to go there?" This was on the way to the ER! Here we both are, Dad and I, taking her, and all she wants to do is be mean. At least ER was quiet and it didn't take all day.
Hope everyone has a good day.
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So true Shelia!
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If you have a cpac use it my friend.s SIL did not want to distrub someone to get hers and said I won't die one night without it and she did.
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Happy Valentines Day everyone, hope you are made to feel special today.... love and hugs..
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Good Morning Posse!

Happy Valentine's Day back at ya ladee and to all the other sweethearts as well!
I got candy and flowers.....flowers to make me think Spring and candy to add a calorie or two to my butt. Will be getting a new fridge soon, but I'm not counting that.

Went to visit with the col on Sunday, took her flowers for the holiday, she was very pleased. Also discovered that she is certifiably over the edge......it's fascinating what Alzheimer's does to the mind or rather what's left of it. She just insisted on showing us how she could get up and walk.....this was after getting my assurance that when she did walk she could come home. I told her we would talk about it. So after 3 times of sitting there grunting and telling me her arms had gotten too long to lift her she finally gave up. She has started calling us both nonsensical names....like asking or answering a question and following it with "bubbybooboo" or some other bunch of words, for lack of a better term.

Going to sit and watch the snow melt today....I've had my winter and now I'm ready for Spring....anymore snow will get sent north by way of snow dance!!

Happy Trails,
Jam
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Good Morning and Happy Valentine's Day.
Jam-it must be difficult to see the Col like that. Hugs.
Meeting with 2 docs today for Mom. Would just like to get through the next few hours before the appointments without worrying myself insane. We get the CT scan results today.
I'll check back later.
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Happy Valentines day to all. Hope there are smiles and hugs in your day...somewhere along the way. Right back at cha ladee!
Prayers for you Notlike and Jam take care you
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Happy valentines day everyone!!! Jam it is amazing the crazy ways they think. All you can do is not be to serious to laugh at some of it. Im tired today...my back hurts...I told her im gonna have to crawl in bed with her tonight that chair just dosnt cut it. Got a question for everyone.I thought about posting it in questions but thought I might get better input here. How would you guys take it if the doctor said,he didn't know what was wrong with your realitive, to find out would require more aggressive test, with your realitives age and multiple health problems the realitive and doctor agreed it would be best to just treat the symptoms of whatever it might ne for comfort. He also said he recommended nursing home. But not just for rehab this time. Kitty refused. Told him I could take just as good care of her as the nh or hospital. He looks and me and says I just want you to know its still on the table. She's lost about 18-20 pounds. Since november. 8 of them in the last week since nov.
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Sorry 8 of them in the last week. I was dressing her last night and her shoulders and arms looked so different. He did take a blood test to check her kidney and liver function. Im just wondering what you guys would make of it. I told him I needed to know what was wrong so I knew what to feed her and he said whatever she can or wants to eat. He said honestly,I don't know what wrong. I know its not a virus or anything of that nature. So what now??? Im so puzzled. What could it be that would require aggressive testing? Want do doctors define as aggressive?
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Happy Valentines Day Everyone. I have been sick for the last 5 days. I haven't been on here since last thursday. Thank god my husband and sons were here to take care of my MIL. They all work together. They do snow removal for a large 6 mile waterfront shopping and entertainment site in the winter. Most of it was during the middle of the nite so that left them to take turns helping in the day. They do winter work for there company at this time of year. Every season entales different work. I say its pretty sad that I have to be sick to get help with her. Don't get me wrong, they do help when they can but they all have crews of guys they run and it's VERY hard for them to take off. It was nice being the one who was waited on for a change. Well, today I'm getting back to feeling myself so I guess my mini sick vacation is coming to an end. It was good while it lasted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I should add she's had cat scan of her abdomen,blood test blood test and more blood test. X rays. Everything seems normal. Her b/p also is insanely outta control. They've drawn back mess for it cause it wasn't helping and they thought maybe it was making her worse. Shes no longer as independent as she was even 3 weeks ago. This last hospital trip kicked it outs her and just when I think she is fixing to make a comeback oneday she can barley walk the next.
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Notlike, sorry you are so stressed today, and please let us know what you find out....
hugs and angels...
ASG... why did she refuse the tests ? did I read it right? And sweetie if she doesn't want the tests, it really doesn't matter what is wrong other than you getting an answer... sounds as tho she doesn't want to know.I know it is crazy making for you, and why are you sleeping in a chair, is she in the hospital? Forgive me if I have missed something important that you posted to answer all those questions.... You can make her comfortable, let her eat what and when she wants, doesn't sound like there is much else you can do... I'm sorry you don't have more answers and feel like you are flying blind...let us know how she is, and get some good sleep in a bed... hugs to you...
z1z2, sorry you have been sick, but sounds like you got a little vacation of sorts.... sounds like your family is very busy, but am grateful they took care of her and you for a change... hope you are up and about soon...
My little Sonny man was very quite and sad today.... I asked him if he was sad today, he said yes, but he didn't know why... his best friend passed away Sunday, Marie told him and he got very upset.... but he knows something sad is going on in his world, and I feel so bad for him not being able to put it all together.... just gave him lots of pats today....
I did get a beautiful surprise from Maries daughter, chocolate covered strawberrys and a beautiful card... can't tell you the last time I got anything for Valentine's Day, so it was a very nice surprise....
Hope you all had someone to make you feel special today.... you are all special to me everyday, but a special ' love ya' from me today....
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Ladee you read it right she didn't want anymore test. She had been in the hospital again. She had a bad reaction to some medicine they gave her. I told them about her vomiting and being sick so they kept her and ran test. They couldn't find a reason. So they let her come home. She has a hard times walking and doing things. She's weak. So I sleep in a recliner chair in her apt. So I can get up and help her. The home health isn't much help. She was sick the day pt. Came to evaluate...she was sick that day so they dairy they would come back at a later time to evaluate her. The nurses come once a week to take her blood pressure and check up on her. She refused a bath aid. All they do is the stuff that I already do for her. So its kinda pointless. I've been thinking about what they said all day. Trying to see if I missed something. I asked her if she understood what treating her symptoms for comfort only meant she said yes. I said do you understand they probably could find out what is wrong we could make them do test. She said no. That's not what she wanted. She didn't want no nh...she didn't want no hospitals. Unless she had to for sometimes they could fix. I told her if that's the case then we needed to be thinking about sleeping arrangmentz and such because me sleeping in there everynight was until she got better,thinking it was a virus or something. So we are going to make a plan. Its weird. Like I have no idea what is wrong with her. It dosnt sound like they are going to find out. Im trying to respect her wishes. But not knowing...leaves you not knowing. So the new plan is to plan is to treat these symptoms for comfort. Symptoms of what????? And nursing home is on the table he says. Except its not as far as she is concerned. Which is o.k. its just crazy. I went in this morning. Prepared to demand an awnser. Sheathed she liked it or not. And I got an awnser. With more questions. Im kinda upset she didn't tell me. I was sure she didn't understand. But after speaking wit her I see she does. She just dosnt want us to know.
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Ladee do you think they know something they just don't want to say? Jam? Your married to a doctor. What does I don't know mean in doctor code?
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Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!! I hope all of you have had a great day. Well i went to the dr with hubby about his knee. And dr said that he had a tear in his patella tendon. And he took him out of work for another week and then he can go back to work. And dad had his dr. appt today at duke with the one that put the trach in. He said everything looked fine. Come back in 6 months. I didn't go with them to this appt but that is what brother told me he said. So me and hubby got to spend the day together. We went out to eat lunch today after his appt and then went and got connor a toy for valentines day. It was a good day.
Asg- sorry you are without answers about what is wrong with your aunt. I know how you feel, I feel that these drs are not being straight with us half the time. And there is nothing you can do about it. I hope you will be able to find some answers somehow. Not knowing what is wrong is the hardest.
Notlike- I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hugs, and prayers.
Zoey-glad that you are feeling better but i know you hate that your mini vacation is over.
It's sad that we as caregivers have to get sick in order to "get away" or have a "mini vacation". And i know sometimes i would wish to get sick so i could get one just so i wouldn't have to go to dads. How sick is that??????
Vic-hope you had a good day today.
Ladee- glad that you got a card today. I hope that it brightened your day some. Love and hugs ya'll stormyyy
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I think the doc is trying to say keep her comfortable and even if she had extensive testing it might not make any difference if there is nothing they can do -is her being cared for at home ok for you if you can make plans so you do not have to sleep on the couch? does the doc think hospice will be needed at some point-it seems she is sure she does not want anything more done. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
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ASG, when the Dr. says he doesn't know, he is saying he will not speculate without further tests.... He can't say well, maybe it's this or maybe it's that..... and with her refusing further tests, he is not in the position to give you' guesses'.... maybe she knows , like sometimes a person has a feeling about something, and just doesn't want to go thru all the tests and procedures....I know it has you worried and curious, and powerless.... but I also know you will do the best you can with what you have to work with.... possibly get a baby monitor, (unless you still have one) and that way she can call you or you will hear her during the night.... I used one with Ruth... or see if she will agree to having someone stay the night with her.... you have five other responsibilities that need your time, attention and energy also... you have to sleep and rest Tina, it's too much for one person....and that's me worrying about you, not telling you what to do.... love and hugs....
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Austin and Ladee thank you. I respect your input and wouldn't ask if I didnt want it love you guys. Maybe she knows. I have to have a plan. My plan is to see what the blood test say if anything. Ladee, baby monitor right. I was going to get one of those but she thought shed feel better in a few days so we didn't spend the money. I think I will get one. If she gets better in a fews days fine. We can take it out. But we will have it just in case we need it later. You should have heard her when he mentioned the nh. He saw a tantrum. She will stay here at least for now. I can't imagine going through that fight unless we continue on the same path we have been on. I think I can handle end of life issues ok. I will just have to detach like I did with my mil. Think like a cna. If that's what we are dealing with anyway. I've kinda been in crisis mode again since she has been sick. Ladee you probably know what I mean. As care nurses we are taught to think,and nurture in times if crisis. Like you I always got attached. .


e. When they
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Yes ASG, we can't do this job and not become involved... when Ruth was at the end of her life I kicked into 'caregiver' mode, when she died I was devastated. You know how crazy the family situation was back then, did not grieve in front of them, but I miss her to this day... I think even more now...
And Sonny, he is such a sweetheart, no way could someone care for this man and not love him.....so I am blessed I feel....
And even tho Auntie is a strange one sometimes, she does feel safe with you, she trusts you, and trust yourself to make the right choices when and if the time comes....and yes you can deal with end of life issues.... that's what we do, family or not.... the only time I have not been detached was when my mom died... but that was my mom.... whole different set of dynamics there....but when something happens to Sonny I am going to be devastated...so I know what you are talking about.... but how will the kids deal with this if and when something happens in the home... It is different for us as adults..... something to consider.... and glad to hear you are making some plan B's and C's.... you know we are here for you , don't push your feeling to the side.... love ya
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Well over the bug but then i have a pelvic ultrasound for me in the am which means I have to hold my bladder and even then what will they tell me. its been kinda chilly in az especially in ajo no snow forecast of rain is possible. They are still continuing hubby on his heart meds for now and etc etc...besides dealing with getting stuff done by april...I have to redo our benefits and they think around 400.00 dollars in stamps is gonna be enough to keep my family fed....I am tired but made hubby feel special and he bought me inexpensive piece of jewelry ....first time in almost 5 yrs have we actually got to almost celebrated V day like a real couple and the kids got into it also :)
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ASG, your aunt must have something, otherwise she wouldn't lose so much weight! I don't think the doctors don't want to tell you what is going on because they are afraid to hurt you. As far as I know the doctors, and I have several in my family, they constantly live between life and death, so they are kind of philosophical about it. If they have to give you bad news, they give them to you. So I agree with Ladee, probably they don't know what to tell you until they don't carry on more tests. I don't know what kind of advice I can give you, because my mother is no more in the stage of making "any" decision, so if I have to take her to the doctor of the hospital I just do it without asking her. I understand it must be difficult to have to deal with a person who still says "yes" and "no". Actually my mother was like this until 4 or 5 years ago and my brother and I had a lot of trouble in convincing her to do things which were for her sake. I hope your aunt accepts the tests so you can know better what it is about... Good luck!
Good night everybody.
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HUGS & KISSES TO EVERYONE HERE!!! I'M CELEBRATING IN MY HEART AND IN MY MIND!!! even though I don't really have a date :-) LOL Just staying at home here, teaching online and doing house chores... same old same old routine
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Hi looking forward to get a note-I have joined anothe dating site for Christians
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Austin....wonderful! I had two of my friends find their spouses this way. One was off a radio dating thing,the other off the christian dating site. She met some vary wonderful interesting people she also met some interesting people,and a bad egg or two. Be safe bit not discouraged. This van be a great way to meet people
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Rozella thank you. I think so to. I was shocked when she went back today and had lost another 6lbs in aa few days.Its crazy cause a few weeks ago before we realized she was losing weight I noticed the b/p cuff didn't fit her like it used to at all. Like she was losing muscle in her arm. The nasea medicine seemed to help her sleep last night. He isn't going to do more test,at her age and health status and not wanting to he said we would only treat her symptoms to make her comfortable.
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Hi marphil. Good to hear from you.
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