Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
I'm baaaaaaaaack. I took a hiatus. Like the TV stars. The last I was here, I think it was when my husband Alan just had his third stroke just before Thanksgiving. Call me bad, but, if he hadn't had the stroke, which lead to yet another hospitalization and NH rehab, I don't think I could have done even one more day of caregiving. I was just that totally wiped emotionally and physically. I decided to take a step back from here to get COMPLETELY away from anything to do with caregiving and regain a short stay in Normalville. He was discharged to home Februrary 1st. He was home only one night, then suffered a TIA the next morning. Back to the ER, hospital and NH rehab. While he was in the hospital, they performed a stent procedure for his left carotid artery; his right is completely occluded, so nothing to be done about it. He's back home as of Tuesday. I must say that so far, it's going better than before. One big help is they gave him a hospital bed for home. He's incontinent, and we have a king bed, so I was washing three loads of bedding every day. I never found the answer to leakproofing. He can't move off the waterproof pad in the hospital bed, and even if he does wad it up, the twin size bedding can be done in one load.

Now friends, I have a question. I'm posting this to both "No One Ever Asks How the Caregiver is Doing" and "Toothbrush" because I started off posting to both. I love y'all but I'm having a devil of a time keeping it straight who's in which group, and I just can't choose one group over another, because they're both great! I know there's a few of you that double post. I was just wondering if anyone had every thought of combining groups. I know. I know. What's this newcomer upstart thinking, coming in here and trying to change everything up. Any thoughts, anyone?
(1)
Report

I also go to both threads-after a while you will get people straight-both groups have great folks on them.
(0)
Report

Welcome back Sheila, the wonderful thing about so many different threads , is that they help in many different areas..... variety, the spice of life...
Son had another grand mal seizure yesterday, scaired my granddaughter half to death, and me... prayers for him please, to PLEASE go to the Dr. and find out what is wrong...I felt so bad for my granddaughter... scaired her so bad... she has seen him have them before, but has never been alone with him when it happened... He hit the floor so hard I heard it from my house! Was putting my shoes on when she came running....the neighbor even heard it....
Could not go to sleep, today is my long day so I need to get going... love to you all.
(1)
Report

Good Morning Posse!

Sorry I haven't posted but know that I am reading and keeping up with each of you! I worked outside yesterday in the sunshine and warm weather...too irresistible to not be there....finished raking leaves away from the fence, son mowed, I planted the lettuce in the garden, and put down new grass seed over the septic tank area....hopefully that will grow this year but I have my doubts.

No changes in the col....she just sits in her chair looking at her lap when and if she stays awake. I know part of that is the Seroquel but the alternative is getting herself worked up and anxious because she wants to come home and can't so better to be in her own little world.

Sheila at one time or another some of us have had to make a list of who is posting on which thread, that makes it easier to keep straight........

I hope everyone has a good day and gets caught up on lost sleep....will be thinking of you again today!

Happy Trails,
Jam
(0)
Report

Morning all..so sorry about your son Ladee and your worries..wish I could ease the burden
Notlike..I will join you and dad out walking too! Ha..may wind up in the laundry room with you!
Seeme..can't wait to hear about puppies! Are you taking something for the IBS? When I had it bad I remember that the pink stuff worked..can't remember exactly what the recipe was.
River..so glad you had mom with you ...sending hugs back to you! They sure do make a difference in the day. Hope you had sleep last night.
Burned..you are a great person! What love must be like in your house! Wish all your business stuff gets settled soon..
Jam..I was in the yard yesterday! It was so fantastic to be outside and not worry about mom and dad. Hubby was taking care of dad. Gave me some space. Would you come plant my garden?! Need help weeding the flower beds too! Haha
We have he same problem with grass and the septic tank
Starri..make Glen a bed outside and tell him he can only come in at certain times!! Close quarters do test marriages..look how far you guys have come!
Sheila..God bless you and hubby..
Not much change here..but hubby is taking the physical load off for me.
Stormy..you sound good..how's dad doing?
Pray everyone has a good day.
(0)
Report

Welcome back Sheila. Wow most of you have it worse than me, if we are to compare. I do have 2 senior to take care of and sometimes I feel I need the rubber room. Haven't had a vacation in years and when I did my husband ruined them. He has mild cognitive impairment. Didn't fully realize this until he got us into a terrible auto accident, where I nearly died and am still suffering, 2 yrs later. Mom is a handful as well. Now she won't bathe and she has developed whiskers. I dread Fridays, b/c that is my day to take care of my mother, God Bless her. She is so cranky and crabby. I can't do anything right and she takes the Lord's name in vain. By the time I leave her house, I am shaking. So tomorrow is the day. I am sorry that I have not kept up with everyone's situation. I have a lot on my plate.
(1)
Report

Burned, I don't think the landlord can raise the rent bc of a guide dog. That is a special case, not just a pet. You might want to look into that.
(0)
Report

Evening all, sounds like some of you had the chance to get out side, that is always a pleasure after being cooped up for the winter. Sheila good to hear from you again.

Glenn and I are still in Needles, and we're going to be having more baby goats sometime this evening, we had 4 doe's a few nights back, they are soooo cute, Vic, that is a good idea about sticking him outside..lol.. We figured it out today and we've been on the road for 7 months almost and 5 of them have been spent in CA, I am so ready to be out of here.

If all goes as planned, we'll be pulling out of here on the 29th, and heading over the border to Surprise, AZ. should be there late afternoon on the 29th or early morning on the 30th. Depends on how hard we want to push it driving. Will probably only stay a day there, might stay two, don't know yet. After that it's off to TX, I'm figuring a 6 to 7 day drive, and there we're going to hole up a month maybe more.

I am so looking forward to being there.. : ) have a sweet, sweet ladee I want to meet. I hope that all are having a good evening, and get some well deserved peace.
(2)
Report

brandywine, you sound like your plate is overflowing, and i thought i had it rough! My nemesis is the longevity of my caregiving more than the difficulty. My mother was fairly independent when she first moved in with me, she walked with a 4-prong cane, came out and took care of her own simple meals, took a taxi to her MD appts (supplied by her HMO) and, really, seemed to enjoy helping with laundry, dishes and whatever she could do. Mail was delivered to our door, so she could mail her own things, receive her own mail and I was working full time. Come to think about it, I really had it made then--but that was 13 or so years ago. She is now 83 yo, has broken her shoulder, hip and is now too scared of falling again to do many of the things she could do before. Not that I blame her, but I have tried to get her to go to PT, which she balks because they make her work! Reason I am pushing it is that she has had bowel problems for decades but, like everything else, it has gotten worse over the years; now she is unable to pull up her diaper all the way when she uses the toilet, so when I am not around to assist her each time, she propels herself around in the wheelchair, pants half-way down her butt, and pooping all over her chair, bed linens, clothing and whatever else crosses her path! Her leg brace bothers her so any more, that she does not wear it at all around the house, so she twirls on one foot like a ballerina. Sorry to be so descriptive, but it is true. She doesn't like for me to tell her what to do or scold her for not following doctor's orders. Anyway, best go do my appeasin' time. God bless all!
(0)
Report

Well, 2 years ago today me and sis started taking care of dad. March 15, 2010 was when he had his tumor taken out and his trach was put in. It's been a long two years.................. I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow and a better weekend. Love and hugs stormyyyy
(2)
Report

Spent most of yesterday trying to keep Sonny from using the bathroom in the closet. That's it for me, love ya'll.
(0)
Report

Good Morning Posse!

Goodness, it sounds like a vacation is in order for some care givers......I wish I could send all of you away for a month to rest and sleep and not listen to the rantings of dementia.

I was standing outside this morning listening to the world waking up and thinking about my favorite time of the year and I thought that would be a good question to ask and maybe take your mind off care giving for a few moments......what is your favorite time of year and why? Mine is a certain day in the month of May....never happens on the same day.....when I look outside and the temps are warm, the sun is shining and everywhere I look it's a brilliant green and the sky is the color of a robin's egg.....in the early morning I can hear the different birds waking up.....my garden plants are growing, the flowers blooming.....it's humbling to look upon this world that God created for me to see. Just for a little while think about your favorite time of the year........instead of poop in wheelchairs and pottying in the closet, not eating and arguing..............

Happy Trails,
Jam
(3)
Report

Amen Jam! Love the early mornings when I sit outside and look upon the world..dad is snoring away and mom isn't up yet. I have a little time to me to watch the sun rise and see the flowers blooming.
Have been down in the dumps these last few days..stress of the daily routine and mom and I haven't been getting along. Today will be a better day..
(0)
Report

thanks Jam for bringing me back to 'here and now'. Guess I love any time of year I can be outside without twelve layers of clothes or an AC strapped to my back. Anytime I can hear birds, even on the grey days, there is beauty to soothe the soul. Many of us are looking forward to getting our hands dirty in real dirt instead of all the other stuff that gets our hands dirty. ( How many times can you use... dirt or dirty in one sentence!) Yes, I slipped over the edge at some point yesterday, I sorta like it here, not quite in touch with reality.... possibly hearing birds when there aren't any... hmmm, yeah, I like it here...
(0)
Report

Well, spring has definitely sprung. We had a brief shower early this am and now every puddle is ringed with pollen. I like spring but my favorite is fall. Spring just seems so short. I've been out on the patio hoping the birds will nest in my new birdhouse. Kathy's g/son was here yesterday and I showed him, and he understood it was for a bird.

I was going to buy new sneakers for walking, but hubby wants to go with me, so will do it tomorrow. Fine. If he gets an opportunity to find shoes at a wide shoe warehouse, it is a good thing. Putting shoes on him is like like trying to get shoes on a duck......but can that guy swim!!!!

Hope you all have a great day.......step away from the hole.......I am going to plant some ivy in containers for my sunroom. Something about live plants get me going..............
(0)
Report

Mine would probably be summer early summer that is before it gets too hot like june.
I like spring but hate the pollen and all the sinus problems it brings with it. Can't wait to wear my shorts, tank tops and flip flops!!!!! Dad hasn't been feeling good the last couple of days. His breath was short yesterday and last night from what brother said since he stayed with dad last night. He is asleep right now so i better go wake him up and start my daily ritual..... Hugs to all of you for a great day. Love, stormyyyy
(0)
Report

Good morning everyone!!! What a beutiful morning....birds chirping....elderly chattering...the pitter patter of little feet...and then I wake up! Realize...the pitter patter is the sound of the kids running away from the elderly barking at them! Oh well the sound of the birds are nice:) I really feel for auntie, she told me she woke up in the night and someone was in her room trying to do something. I ask if she had a bad dream. No. What were they trying to do? I don't know, something bad. Oh, well what did you do? I just turned over away from them and went back to sleep. My hubby says that has to be scary. And it would be. She's done that kinda thing a handful of times. Old friends might remember her thinking the children were throwimg fire at each other last summer. She went months without doing that and I bet its happened 4 times since she got sick before christmas. Its like I can see what's coming...but don't know exactley what it is. My husband was talking last night about how we are not taking care anymore of the person he's know his whole life, she's not even who she was one and a half years ago.
(1)
Report

Anyways enough about the whoo-ha...I hope everyone has a great day, id say my favorite day of the year is with every season change...I can pick one I love most..that perfect first day of spring when everything coming back to life...the colors of the air are even brighter...summer nights when its warm enough to be outside at night enjoying the stars, cool enough to
(1)
Report

Time to get ou the old capris....put on the denim ones so they don't clash with my patriotic legs...............you know, the white legs with the red and blue veins....they say khaki goes with everything............
(7)
Report

seemee-You are crazy girl!!!! You sound like my sis. She has bad varicose veins and very white legs. She doesn't wear shorts or capris because of the veins mainly. Take care. Hugs stormyyyy
(0)
Report

Lol...seemer!! I guess I didn't finish my post from earlier, so I also like the first crisp fall morning, where the leaves have changed colors, its just warm enough need a sleeve, but no so cold to need a coat. Then in the winter...I love me a beautiful snow storm. With big giant snow flakes, I love watching that through the kitchen window with a big hot cup o coffee. I sure hope everyone has a nice weekend. The kids have been off school for spring break this week, the boys went with their dad, so for the most part it was kinda a break. I got to spend a lot of one on one time with my girls. Love yall
(2)
Report

Yay..day off today soon...took dad to doc yesterday to talk about his Brigid body. Did a bunch of blood work. Maybe some answers soon. My body hurts and my mind is stressed. I am not getting along with mom right now .. Close quarters.
Will get outside today or maybe gather tax papers...aweeee how exciting!
Will definitely sit on porch some and listen to the birds. The flowers are starting to bloom and moms dogwood looks like it will bloom this year! Woohoo.
(2)
Report

Sorry you are down Vickie Vic... and leave those tax papers alone... enjoy your day. Set on the porch and daydream the day away, Pretend I sent you a ton of money that I got from MY daydream, and you can go anywhere you want...do anything you want...
Let us know what they find out about Dad, hope it is something that can be fixed.
Spend time with hubby and let Calgon take you away, or the Laundry Room, which ever works for you... love and hugs...
(2)
Report

Vic I agree with ladee.....the tax papers will keep a few more days. Don't lose the opportunity to get your mind in a good place and if that means sitting on the porch watching the world go by, then do it! Make sure you have something to drink and put your feet up.....and let us know what you are buying with all that money ladee is sending......:) Big hugs!
(2)
Report

Found a nest in the wreath on my front door. Tore it all apart. Got to it before there were any eggs. Getting ready to go shoe shopping.....that was my mom's favorite thing to do. May even get more than I need.

My capri-clad legs are clashing with my green shirt. HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!!!!!

Everyone have a good day..................
(1)
Report

Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons, spring as the world is just waking up from it's long winter sleep. Fall is the refreshing time after a long hot summer, and before winter once again tucks the world in for it long sleep.

I love listening to the birds, right now I have roosters, chickens, geese and peacocks all making noise, then in the back ground you can hear the goats. We had more babies night before last, 2 little boys.. so the count for baby goats, stand at 4 girls and 2 boys. Still have 7 or 8 more pregnant mom's to go.

My sister in law katie I believe doesn't know exactly what she is in for as far as care giving for a dementia patient, she's thankfully getting her introduction slowly.

But not slow enough I believe. Even Mom's doctor has seen the difference between her visit in Dec, to now. The great thing for Katie is she has family around that actually want to help her and they see that something is wrong and believe her. But poor Katie like the rest of you is the target when it comes to the anger and abusive behaviors, MIL reminds me so much of my Mom in some of her behaviors, It hurts to see it and know what is coming.

I don't believe she is strong like most of you and like me to wash butt's when needed and deal with all the mess that can come with the illness I pray for her each and everyday. Have kept reminding her that she has a life too, try not to take Mom's hurtful words to heart, as this is not the mother she knew anymore. It's hard not to as many of you know.

Have a peaceful, lovely day everyone..
(1)
Report

Well, i guess my luck ran out and it's st Patty's day and for two days straight I havent found my wallet so far. It has my id/bankcard/foodstamp card etc. I called Dollar General. I feel like such a dunce ...i know its around here somewhere around at the house well gotta go daughter wants to play something.
(0)
Report

Burned I hope you find your purse pretty soon. I know I lost mine and went crazy looking for it and then when I gave up, I found it. Today I have just resigned myself that to the fact that sister is the BOSS and I have no say in mother's care. So I am going to go for a walk.
(0)
Report

When is the last day that we have to mail off for our income tax for I haven't even made an appointment yet? It use to be by April 15th but I heard it was earlier this time?

burnedncaringst, I hope you find your wallet for I would be a nervous wreck.
Starri, I love listening to the birds and watching Mother Nature just blossem away in the spring time. However, the pollen is a whole different ball park. My husband is sneezing and sore throat poor thing. I got him to take something so hopefully that will help him.
Vic, I agree with the other two post above that forget about the tax stuff for uncle Sam will get is money anyway. I hope your dad's lab work come out okay and go on the porch and listen to the birds for it can be very relaxing.
(2)
Report

Brandy if your sister wants to be the boss it might be easier for you to not have to deal with all the paperwork and endless appointments as long as she does not dictate to you what you have to do-if she is running you ragged you need to speak up-I hope this is not the case but I know of another family that one sister is the boss and expects the other sister to drop everything to help-even though she is working 4 days a week and on her days off she has to take the mother to the NH to see the father and it is stressing the other sister out and she feels she has to do what the bossy sister tells her to do.
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter