Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
I do not know if its my allergies or something worse but have an air filter running still not doing much but it has help ease up my smoking. I feel like crap and i havent sleep well the past few nights...maybe its the cat she got her 6th sense tingling like crazy and she was all over the place. I no longer deal with my twin anymore...I just ended it because we will never understand each other just like my husband's family doesn't understand the guilt he has still and how it affects his health. I on the other hand got a couple crazy fun loving kids and seeking an extra job ...i need more hrs but ill have to see where to apply at. I am trying to find a legitimate source that will allow me to work from home besides my additional duties...blast it all zytrec isn't cutting it and i am about go freakish on this frog in my throat lol.
(0)
Report

Almost a year now as Grandmas Caregiver! 73 old /Dementia. She used to be the "catch"...she looked like Elizabeth Taylor in her day and she thinks she is still young now...she is flirting with my husband and trying everything to get his attention. We all thought it was cute and funny at first but its taken a toll on us because she is throwing fits not getting the attention she wants and she calls me names and throws stuff at me anytime I am near him. GOD GRANT ME THE PATIENCE I NEED FOR MY GRANDMOTHER!!! I have a few good moments throughout the days still with her but she is worse than a spoiled 2 year old right now. She was making a sandwich right after I gave her lunch....so I just let her make it UNTIL I noticed she was putting jelly on tunafish....she hates tuna. We have had a problem with her wasting food so I stepped in and tried to help- she was mad that I tried to tell her Jelly doesnt taste good on tuna and she threw the sandwich at my face. I was so irritated I threw it back at her face!!!!! OMG...am I losing my paitence???? I called her a spoiled brat and told her to go to her room. None of me "flipping my lid" helped any. She didnt even know 5 minutes later what happened. I think I need a vacation!
(2)
Report

Angela, I bet you have a few stories to tell!!!! So she must have been a real looker in her time. Bless her heart. My mom still flirted in her 80's. She had a real deep crush on the Methodist preacher in our community. She embarrassed me more than she did herself. So you had a food fight. Sounds almost like fun!!! Except for cleaning up the jelly. It made me feel powerful to tell my mom to go to her room...not that I did it often...................come back and tell us more stories. Lildeb needs to know what can happen and how to deal with it. Laughter always works best for me......just remind me of that after my mil gets here...................
(1)
Report

Hi, Lindy, glad that you are posting, having to place a loved one I believe ranks right near the pain of losing a loved one. Both people hurt. I know that it about ripped my heart out the day we transferred Mom to hospice. I found out the next day as I sat there watching her take her last breaths that she had cussed the nurses and said she wanted to go home. She had wanted to die in her own home,

I believe you have done the right thing, like placing my Mom was the right thing for me, I could not physically tend to her needs anymore. She argued about using the adult diapers, so that meant getting her up and getting her to the bedside, hopefully in time, other wise you had her to clean up and everything else.

Take the Doctor's advice, and maybe talk to your own doctor about something like this , does the NH have like group activities? something she can get involved with? that association with others might help pull her out of the depression.
(0)
Report

Lideb..just hang in there. There is so very much infor on AZ in the Internet to help you with symptoms and resources. Make sure you get info on respite. These folks on here are so wonderful..giving support all the time. God Bless
(1)
Report

Well...I will add to the story from above...lol...When she came out of her room, I assumed she remembered why she was in there (she did not) so I tried explaining to her, as I would a child that she needs to know I am here to help, not to be her boss and I told her she didnt understand that. She says to me... "Well what you dont understand is I LIKE TUNA AND JELLY together" so, sarcastically I apologized, knowing she was lying. I say "Oh Grandma, I was wrong- Im so sorry!" I then told her I would REMAKE her Tuna and Jelly sandwich. She says "no, that wont be necessary, I just wanted you to know you are wrong" I said- "No grandma, I Insist!!! Im so sorry for messing up your sandwich" I went on and made her this Tuna and Grape Jelly Sandwich. I put it in front of her and watched her take a bite...I could tell it was nasty to her- she swallowed it and took another being a smartass...After the 2nd bite, she looks at me and says "THIS IS NASTY!!" I reminded her of her mood swing and why I sent her to her room...she replies "Well maybe we both could of handled it differently" LOL... So, with a good ending It made me understand- when she is in the moment of rage, it was not because of me, it was because of her and the fact that someone caught her doing something she wouldnt normally do because of her disease. We talk alot, I still explain to her why Im here, sometimes she seems to get it and other times she is oblivious. I wish I knew what she retains- if anything from our serious talks.
(5)
Report

Angela- Welcome aboard!!! And thank you for the laugh, I needed that... I will be thinking all day about your gma taking a bite of tuna and jelly sandwich. Yuck i know that had to have been nasty.
(0)
Report

Burned- i have been taking the 12 hour clariden and tylenol sinus and they both seem to help with the pain and pressure that all this pollen is causing. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs stormyyyy
(0)
Report

Angela, hope you come back with the next installment of " Granny and The Grape Jelly and Tuna Sandwich... thanks for the laugh.... THIS IS NASTY... sure wish you had taken a pic of that second bite....welcome..

Ok, I want to smoke a whole cigarette, all at one time, like back in the olden days,like last week... I am getting CRANKY..... cough please go away before I kill someone....
(0)
Report

Jam and Austin- I wanted to clear something up and it was probably my fault at how i said it or worded it. Talking about the nurse and her reaction to dad coughing up the blood. She did not have a attitude towards me or sister it was more like she was concerned as to why my sister did not think that it was important to carry dad to the hospital when he was coughing up blood for 2 days straight. I was glad that at least she had that reaction so i would not think i was crazy for thinking he needed to go somewhere also. She was nice about it all and i could tell that she just did not understand why sis didn't feel the need to get him checked out. I just don't believe that you should be coughing up for 2 days because you didn't wear a humidification mask. I'll never believe it!!!! But sis would put her life on it, that that was the cause of it all. Also i looked back on my calendar and dad has been coughing up blood for 5 months now. In nov it was 3 times that month. Dec was 3 times that month, Jan was 2 times, Feb was 4 times. To me it does not sound normal either. I mean i don't know if this is something that happens with people with copd or trachs, i have no idea. Does anybody know? Is anybody taking care of someone with copd that has coughed up blood? Much love and hugs stormyyy
(0)
Report

Angela ~ In the beginning I used to try to talk with my husband as you would any normal person that had the capabilities of logic, problem solving and was anchored in the here and now. It was incomprehensible to me that this wouldn't be possible, but it didn't take long to figure out that, rather than trying to bring your loved one into the real world, you need to enter into hers. I'm still having difficulty with it, but it's much easier when I succeed. Oneupmanship and trying to prove a point doesn't work with AZ/dementia either. It's almost like interacting with a toddler who's in the terrible twos stage, except the the toddler is in the process of learning, while the AZ/dementia patient is losing what they've learned.
(3)
Report

My grandson in NM was in the hospital with oxygen tank due to his asthma from the freaking pollen, poor child. he is now back home but still on oxygen and he takes asthma med as well. He is only five years old what a shame. I feel so sorry for him & if he was closer I would just give him a big grandma hug.
Hubby is having the same issue of the pollen as you all for he sounds like he has a frog in his throat. he's taking Mucinex and hasn't help him too much. I did wash his car to help get the pollen off and wax and hopefully that will help somewhat. I'm taking Sudafed and it helps somewhat. Hearing the thunder and lightning and hopefully it will shower all the pollen away.
Sending all you allergy suffers a big fat hug and hope y'all get to feeling better soon.
(1)
Report

Has anyone looked at the amount of posts that we have up just for this particular area? Over 6,000. Anyway, today I got the mnl to fill dirt into three of the plastic swans for the front yard and she enjoyed a little bit.

I also called and talk to someone from the Area Aging Agency and they were so helpful and are going to send me brochures of what their program offers. I also didn't know that the mnl was ease dropping and heard her name mention while I was talking to her about our situation. the mnl just blurted out after I got off the phone that, " I had no idea that you felt that way about me." I was stunned! So, dumb me try to explain to her that she was diagnose with mild AZ back in Sept.
Well, she is in denial like always and was very pissed at me. Then she stated that she is just a dumb country girl and that is why she does some of the things she does or says. I told her she is not dumb and that it is an illness but then she wanted to argue. I told her I was NOT going to argue about it and that I was just trying to get information to learn about AZ so that we can communicate without yelling at each other. She just clammed up for about hour. hey, it was kind of quite for a little while. So, that is when I got her to do the swans and later we went and got tax stuff ready for tomorrow appt and we treated ourselves to a single dipped ice-cream cone and she ate the whole thing and it didn't affect my sugar. yeah...
(1)
Report

Poor lildeb, catching it from all sides, but really liked your answer to her about learning so as not to argue..... at least she got quite for awhile... and didn't you , just for a few minutes, want to tell her how you REALLY felt about some of the things she says and does... living in a situation of constant bickering is not good, so very proud that you are educating yourself on how to handle her and yourself, better in upcoming situations.....
Just like today, Sonny constantly hawking (sp) and spitting, I was afraid he was going to make his throat bleed... I finally told him to come with me to see the bluebonnets outside.... got him distracted and he stopped.... lord, they get in a hamster wheel about something, and you sometimes just have to stop it and take them off...
And happy to hear her eating the ice cream did not make your sugar go up... lol.... proud of you girl.... you are doing good..
(2)
Report

Ladee ~ ...get in a hamster wheel about something. Luv it. Perfect analogy.
(1)
Report

Thanks everyone for your support of my bad day. Yesterday was better - no bed bugs or stolen cell phones. The next time the stars allign that way, I am going back to bed until the day is over!!!
Angela - welcome. And at least I wasn't eating a tuna and jelly sandwich, too, on my bad day. YUCK!
Lindy-missed you. Hugs.
Vic-hope you get answers about your Dad. This "two for one " caring we do is hard when they are worried for each other. Hugs.
Maybe we could send all the pollen to the Laundry Room? That way, everyone would feel better.
Looks like Dad has cellulitis on his leg. So neosporin and bandage changes every night. Thank goodness he told me (after three days of it being red and sore) before it got any worse. And he's been using his C-Pap, even though it will take a while to get used to it.
What Mom didn't tell me was the results of her cognitive test. I heard from Dad that the hospital called her and she is doing better than she did 3 months ago. It's strange, because she all but threw the last one in my face, because it showed she was okay. It's been 3 days now since they called, and she hasn't even mentioned it. And sis and I have both noticed more forgettfulness, so we're wondering if she even told Dad the truth about the call. It's very frustrating to take care of someone who treats you like the enemy. I didn't give her cancer, or memory loss, or any of this - I'm here to help. But helping to her seems to mean she would have to acknowledge she's sick. Too much round and round with her - I would love to sit and talk about this with her but I already know how that turns out. Not good. So I will try to be patient until she's ready to talk to me, or there is a crisis.
Looking forward to it really being Friday! And payday! And a short day at work! Maybe the stars are alligned right for today :)
Hugs to all.
(0)
Report

Notlike, yeah, just don't say anthing about the test results.... she may have gotten some news that she didn't like... and she doesn't want you to be 'right' about anything... just keep it in the back of your mind, and keep observing.... Has she singed a HIPA release so you can call for yourself???I will never understand why that stupid law was passed in the first place, makes all this twice as hard somtimes when we need information... of course I would never call a Dr. that would be totally unprofessional, but family should have access to that info if they need it....
So just keep on keepin' on , keep the Laundry Room in the back of your mind, one of these days we are all going to meet in the Laundry Room and tell ALL our elders secrets..... to the National Enquirer!!!!!
hope eveyone had a good day and yeah Shelia, that 's what it feels like when they get on a run about something, round and round and round and round...
(0)
Report

Good Morning to all of our Angels!

You guys have been busy! Welcome to Angela.....ewwww tuna and jelly......made me think about the days when mil still lived here.....not much made sense coming out of her mouth and she also liked to do weird things with her food....like the day I asked why her oatmeal was pink.....yep cherry popsicle!

The HIPPA law came about because a group of firefighters from somewhere were sitting in a restaurant after a call one day talking about the circumstances and outcome of the call. It just so happened that a family member overheard and complained about personal information being tossed out for anyone to hear the embarrassing details.....thus the law was passed. The biggest problem was that it went way overboard. When I was still working I could come back to the station and talk to my partner about it but no one else. If working a car accident I couldn't even give information to a police officer unless they were actively involved with patient care......you would be surprised how many of them I used for temporary iv poles or had them hand me a bandage or c-collar....something to make them involved. Someday the "right" person will be hurt because of not being able to pass along information and the law will be changed. Technically those involved as care givers should have easy access to pertinent information....the problem is that the law is so vague as to who is allowed what......and the initial fine is $25,000 and goes up.....that doctors and other health care professionals just keep their mouths shut.

Vic I heard you quacking from here!!!! Started raining again yesterday at 5:45pm....pouring actually and the blind doggie chose that moment to wake up and want out....umbrella didn't do much good. My poor grass looks like a jungle out there!

Thinking about all of you today and hoping you get through the day with partial sanity still intact.......sending angels and hugs!

Happy Trails,
Jam
(0)
Report

What an hour I just had. She punched me twice....threw milk all over the house and on my husband, all because we told her NOT to let her dog out because Meals On Wheels were here to give her a hot lunch! Maggie (her yapping Boston Terrier) already bit the mail man. She has become quite the problem dog as grandma gets worse. Needless to say, she was at the door already when we told her NOT to let the dog out- she does it anyway so she can prove a point that she doesnt have to listen to anyone. Guess what?? Meals on Wheels lady has now been bit. Luckily no blood was drawn but grandma started throwing the biggest fit ever because we left her dog out after the lady left. It was so bad my husband had to bear hug her and walk her to her room. She cried and screamed "Hes hurting me" when you could tell by looking she had enough space in his arms to do the chicken dance if she wanted too. Yep...its time to start looking at facilities. My family is on overload and this was the worse fit/with punching and throwing out of the normal 1-2 fits per day. The doctor has her on Depakote to help.....but it doesnt seem to be working as it used too. She is on 1000 (500 in the am and 500 in the pm) now. He had her on 1500 a day before and we had to reduce it to 1000 because she was hallucinating. Any ideas on a better medicine?? We are looking for placement in a Dementia unit by June or July but I really need some good advice to keep it together until then.
(1)
Report

So sorry Angela.....my mil had these kind of "mental breakdowns", the last one resulted in a stay in the Behavioral Unit at the local hospital. Found out the meds she was on were the wrong ones....wrong diagnosis thus wrong meds. She had a meltdown and tried to rip my face off. Got the correct diagnosis and correct meds and she did great until this past January. Placed her in NH last Oct. She started calling us every day, sometimes twice, demanding that we fix what was wrong with her and "take me home". We added Seroquel....keeps her very mellow, but she is no longer making herself miserable. So you might want to talk with the doctor about that. The col is also on Depakote twice a day and with the Seroquel added she is doing better. You might have to put the dog behind a gate before the wrong person is bitten and decides to sue or call animal control which would only traumatize the little thing. Sending hugs to you while you go through this, I know how hard it is. Just take consolation in the fact that with Alzheimers or other types of dementia they usually don't remember how out-of-control they were.
(0)
Report

Thank you....my aunt just came and took her to town for awhile to relieve me! Thank God- A huge weight lifted as they drove away. I feel bad for feeling like that but man....we can only take so much day after day!
(2)
Report

Angela- I know how you feel. I am a bundle of nerves while i am here at dads and when i get in my car and drive away i feel the weight on my shoulders lifting and the tension leaving. It is terrible to feel such stress, and tension. All you want is for it to go away. And theres no way for it to leave you except to get away from the caregiving. love and hugs to you stormyyy
(1)
Report

Angela hugs and prayers.. My dad does some mild things like your gramma. Different situation but same frustrations. God Bless
(1)
Report

Angela, call her Dr. TODAY... I went thru this with the last Lady I worked for, her family would NOT listen to how out of control she had become.. to make a long story short, I ended up with a broken leg from an altercation such as the one you had today... it ended up costing them A LOT more that a simple Dr. visit...so do not wait until June or July... get things started ASAP, whethere it be as Jam's mill and temporary placement in a behavioural unit and get her on meds that will help or get her into a facility that can deal with this from day to day...this is not quaility of life for her and especailly ya'll. Ya'll remember what she's done, she doesn't... let us know how things are going, my heart goes out to you, been there, beleive me there is more to life than having to protect yourself from getting your ass whupped by a 83 year old woman... that's what I told everyone when they asked about my leg.... hugs to you....
(3)
Report

I surely know how you guys feel about frustration. Today, it being Friday, was my caregiver day. Right off the bat she started yelling at me. I had said my affirmations before I got there, guess it didn't help. What happened was the aide had made something in the crockpot and then pushed the crockpot way into the corner near flammables. I felt uneasy about it touching the flammables so I moved the crockpot out into the middle of the counter top. You'd think I was another terrorist the way she screamed at me. So I moved it back and let go and let God. But I left way early. I refuse to stand around and be yelled at. I couldn't eat a thing and I was shaking. And the BOSS had not emailed me another snotty email. I doubt it is mom even remembers the crockpot this evening. I say this b/c one other time the crockpot was still sitting there after days of being left out. At that time she insisted we eat from the days long old food being left out and I refused (unplugged.) My husband took some and didn't get sick, thank goodness.
I sympathize with the other posters here who have it worse than me. I just don't know how you it take it year after year.
Angela, I know about the weight being lifted.
Stormy, I know about the bundle of nerves thing.
Ladee, I love your posts.
(1)
Report

Careful, careful out there! Glad no one got seriously physically hurt today. I feel for all of you who had a bad day with yelling and fighting. Many Hugs. Many More Hugs. You are appreciated. What you're doing is so important!
Quack Quack here. It's been raining since last night. Sounds pretty through the open window.
I do have POA and HIPPA rights. I just didn't want it to look like I was "going behind her back" to get the info. Sometimes, she doesn't want to tell me, othertimes, she doesn't care. I did ask her tonight, and was told she has "superior" cognative abilities. Whatever. She can think, but her emotional stability is non-existant. She loves to lord it over Dad that she is smarter (according to her), so now I guess she wants to be smarter than me, too. Not gonna happen - I have a Mensa IQ and it didn't all come from her. Oh well, let her feel good about what she can. There's enough bad times ahead with her cancer. It's just too bad she gets her joy from the wrong things.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
(5)
Report

angelaleigh, all I can say is wow! She punched you, omg! As for that dog, I would like is butt up in a crate with a padlock and that way she cannot let him out anywhere at least until the meal-wheel comes to your house.

Ladee, the hamster thing was a bit funny, I'm sorry but I did get a chuckle out of it. Sorry Sonny can be such a handful. I look at everyone situation and y'all got me beat miles away.

Jam, got a big chuckle from the, Oatmeal cherry popsicle. hey, we cannot knock it until we try it, right? ; ) hey at least she ate it or did she?
Hope everyone has a nice day. : )
(0)
Report

Yep lildeb, she ate every bite of that oatmeal. I've been trying to think of other weird things she ate....they got so commonplace that I ignored them.........there was the Snickers candy bar in her coffee....vanilla ice cream in coffee....my mind is drawing a blank right now...not enough coffee I guess this morning!

I did my time on ladee's hamster wheel and my heart goes out to each of you who are still running that track........I honestly don't think I could do it again. When I think back to the mental stress that I went through every day learning how to not respond back when the col started her tirades......it makes me just as tired as the physical did. The last couple of months was when the weight started to drop off of me.....lost 22lbs in about 2 months and that was because I didn't take the time to eat properly and was running up and down stairs all day long. Nice to lose the pounds, but a rotten way to do it! You all have my deepest respect for being able to continue being care givers.

Sending hugs to you all for a beautiful day of peace................
(0)
Report

Good Morning y'all it sounds like a few of you had some really rough days, I was blessed that it never reached that point with mom.. I don't know that I could have taken it, her hurtful words were enough for me.

The dog does need to be put up when someone is at the door, it could be a child. maybe try telling her that if it bites someone else, that the animal control people will come and take it and it will be put to sleep.

I hope all of you have quiet, peaceful days, I need to convince myself that sleeping all day is not a good thing, did that yesterday but gave myself forgiveness for having felt like doing it, don't know if it was the stress knowing that we are getting ready to hit the road, not feeling well (haven't in a couple of weeks.. (pollen maybe? never had allergies.) My HS is acting up, arm is killing me. Did at least get some of hubby's medication mess straightened out, he's 63, has no mental issues, with the exception of being stupid at times... keeping track of his meds, ordering them on time and taking them fall under those times...

That tuna and jelly sandwich? yuk..and double yuk, but that cherry oatmeal does sound kinda good, but not a Popsicle, it would water it down and make it cold. I thought a sausage biscuit with strawberry jelly was weird till I tried it..lol.. Tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches along with pimento cheese sandwiches, welcome to the South Y'all

Well, we're down to T -5 for blast off, having to keep poor Squeek in the RV, the neighbor with the peacocks almost shot her the other night, doesn't like other animals on his property, but doesn't have a problem at all with his geese and peacocks coming over here, all Squeek was doing was chasing crickets, she didn't have a mouth full of feathers. So if his birds come over here, it's fair game for maggie and claire to chase them..lol.... I kinda encourage it as a matter of fact now, where I had been trying to keep them from doing it.

Ladee? hope you are feeling better.

Big Hugs
(1)
Report

lildeb, we all have our hands full in one form or another...and beleive me when I say Sonny is NOT a handful compared to Ruth.. she's the one that broke my leg... now that one was a handful... I will NEVER do live-in again... NEVER... so all of you doing this 24/7, I do know how you feel, and feel guilty that I have a choice about it... but guess ya'll do too when it comes down to it...The only people I would ever do that for again would be one of my own kids or a grandchild...I would have done it for my mom had she lived, but refused to do it for my dad.... had been mistreated my entire life by him, no way was I going to volunteer to be his victim.. some of us don't have a lot of problems making that choice... and I always feel bad for the ones taking care of someone and mad because sibs won't help.. every situation is different, but in my case, none of us could do a thing 'right' in my oldest sisters eyes, she had to be in control of breathing in and breathing out, nope, had had enough of her sh*t too... I will say I have no regrets.. don't know how other sibs in other families feel, just know if I had it to do over, nothing would change....
Angela, are we going to have get you some boxing lessons??? Don't care who you are or how hard you try, someone going for your face will trigger survial feelings..... it's miracle we don't hit them back... When I was on the floor when Ruth broke my leg, she was steady kicking me and cursing me in German.... guess God was in charge of that outcome, was in too much pain to knock her legs out from under her, but will say there was some pretty vile things coming out of my mouth too. Then she just walks away, like none of it happened and in her mind it didn't.... on to the next thing....
Will have to tell about the banana and the table knifes when I have more time, will let the new folks know there is humor in what we do....
Ok, gotta run and pay billRs... ttyl, hugs.
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter