The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

Amen Notlike! You said it well! I feel the same..
So sorry you are sick..glad you got drugs!
Cmag...glad you are better..was feeling down myself. I pray the ups come more often. Fight for a happy place in your mind..look at your sweet wife and smile..don't hide out in your man cave too long without any distraction..write a poem or just journal your feeling away....prayers.

ok so here I am waiting to send paperwork to renew hubby's ltc and then i find out they havent given me food stamps...I am not in completely cool mood,,,just fed up with all this nonsense. this is bogus. bs in the toilet....

To all my sister-friends and my brother friend cmag, today has been very hard... finally had a meltdown after my son almost dieing in that accident.... was thinking of all of you as my day went on today, how awesome it is that Carol provided a place for all of us to get together, to become friends, to support each other about LIFE, not just caregiving.... and that Jam created this thread for us to talk about US...
Have received so much from so many of you, can't imagine my life before having this safe place to be human, to be scaired, tired, silly, and love so freely....In that hospital, I felt your prayers, it helped keep me sane and to do what needed to be done.... I have felt your prayers every day for all the reasons we pray for each other.... and have sent many prayers myself for ya'll.... what an awesome power love is.... and so many of us will never get to meet, but since none of my family cares one way or the other, knowing I have ya'll as my family gets me thru more tough times than ya'll know...
So I cried my tears of being a mama, but smiled and laughed out loud when I read Notlikes comments, and knowing Stormy needs to get well for vacation, and Jam's shiny white legs, and Seeme's crazy mil, and Viv finding her place here, and Cmag feeling better and allowing us to see his vulnerable side... and on and on and on....Since I can't hug each of you, please know that I absolutely could not do this without ya'll... appreciation just doesn't seem to express it for me, but many of you know me well enough to know what I am trying to say..... and maybe tomorrow, I will not be into 'self' and can address all the posts..... love you all so much.....

5:30 AM...woke up to BANG BANG BANG...i run down stairs and assume the worse...she fell!!! But no...that was not the case (Thank God I dont have grandma with a broken hip today) She woke up, grabbed her walker that we are making her use now, because she is unstable, and she threw it .....let me repeat....THREW IT....like she was Hulk Holgan, on the other side of her room! By the time I got downstairs, she was already in the bathroom. I said "GRANDMA, what happened!! Are you alright????" She replies "I dont know, why?" I said I heard banging!!! (As I was staring at her walker upside down on the other side of her room). She came out of the bathroom and went back to bed.....didnt remember a thing.....GOING BACK TO BED MYSELF TEAM!!! LOL....The day in the life of a Care Giver! I SWEAR!

Our senior center is starting a caregivers support group-I called the lady who had the information and explained that I thought it would help to have former caregivers there also and she said we have two leaders-I said trust me I do not want to be a leaderthen she said well if you think you will get something from it come I said I hoped I could help others then she said she would have to call her supervisor-which she did and called me back that I could come to the group-another friend who cared for her husband is also going to call her-so the first meeting is today so we shall see.

angelaleigh-what a lousy alarm clock! Hugs.
Austin-sounds like a good start to the group. Good luck!
Cmag-glad you're feeling better. Hugs.
Ladee-Giving you a shoulder to cry on...hugs and prayers.
Off to face the day. Whatever it may bring.

Notlike..go to the laundry room if you need to laugh out loud..your co workers don't care! Ha
Angela..not like said it good..what a lousy alarm clock! Scares ya silly..hope you were able to go back to sleep..hulk hogan! Haha
Austin..know support group will work out great..you have so very much to offer
Ladee..love you and crying is good for the soul..let's all the yuck out! Hugs hugs
Stormy..hope you will breed a little better today
Jam..White legs will turn brown!

All I can say this morning is between ASG's phone and Vic's, the autocorrets are making me laugh out loud.... hugs, hope everyone is good today, overslept... love

*autocorrects.....lol

Good Morning Posse!!!!

Those who post with your cell phones always give me such entertainment....I love it!! also have that feature on my new phone and some things I text are hilarious but get frustrating because I have to stop and correct the words.....so now I am laughing....Vic you have given me a terrific start to my day...thank you!
And isn't it mind boggling how these little old people don't have the strength to get themselves out of a chair, but they can pick something up and hurl it across the room?
Austin....sounds like this new group will be interesting....please let us know how it goes. Why they wouldn't jump on the chance to have some experience there makes me wonder if the "leaders" don't have any hands-on either. Book smart doesn't mean you can do the job.....we all know we have learned things and seen things that aren't in a book anywhere.Will be waiting to hear from you.
I have today to work on these shiny, white legs.....supposed to rain for the next 5 days.......I'm not real sure, but I think Elvis has left the building!!!!!!

Sending love and hugs to all for a peaceful day!!!!

Morning all, Ladee, glad to hear that you let it out, you have too at times, keeping it bottled up is not good, Cmag? time for a med adjustment?

I can't tell you how nice it is to get on here and laugh along with all of you.. I am hoping that Ladee has time to breath this weekend, maybe we can make our cup of coffee together and just yak for a while, been trying to be good and not bug her.. I can be a pest..rofl..

I'm glad to hear that everyone had a decent day yesterday. Ours as normal wasn't very eventful, we did go to La Grange and see some stuff, along with getting Glenn signed up for the VA, would you not know it, I left the camera here at the RV, told Glenn I was putting one camera in the bike and one in the truck, maybe I would get some pictures.

Have a wonderful, peaceful day all.

Starri, I don't know if I need a med adjustment or not, but I do know that it made things worse on Sunday and monday by missing some meds that I just felt to bad to even stay on track with. Plus, my therapist thinks I was worn out over the drama from last week and my wife getting so overly involved in it all. She even called up her mother to talk about this mess and brought it up in therapy yesterday which she reported on that her therapist like her mom basically said chill, nothing is going to happen unless your husband says yes for with both POAs, he is in charge and he's not going to over ride the doctor. However, despite that intellectualism of those facts she did try to get back into her drama and micromanagement my own drama, but I told her that Jesus said let your yes be yes and your no be no and thus the short answer to my step-dad about the doctor is not going to make an unsafe discharge is enough. I do have a new psychiatrist who had to go on leave for some reason and thus, I now have my wife's psychiatrist and she is having to get to know me before making any medical changes which she says that she would like to make. Frankly, I think that I could use an anti-anxiety pill or two. Now to go take one more med that it is best for me to start the day with instead of forgetting until later on.

Angela......loved the picture you created. Been there, had to go get the walker!!!!!
Vivian....Jail......my version of the Seeme Spa....
Notlike....A free round for everyone in the Laundry Room.......Cheers!!!
Getting ready to go to the dentist....yuck...hubby has made it to Connecticut.....so far, so good. At least he is still headed north.....no u-turns in sight!!!!

Vic- thank you I hope i start feeling better soon too.
Ladee- Aww... what a sweet post to all of us. Thank you and you know we love and care about you. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks and hopefully things will start to get better soon for you.
Jam- Tanning cream, i try to go to the tanning bed but i don't get there that much so i have to use the fake stuff. Love ya
Lord this place is the house of horrors with me and dad hacking and coughing. We got enough mucus between the two of us to float a boat!!!!!! Yucky right??? Sorry to gross ya'll out.... Will post later tonight. Love and hugs to all stormyyy

o.k. back on computer. Yes the phone makes me crazy.Plus mine has been dropped to many times to work properly I"m a bit of a clutz:) Well aunties foot is fine. took her to doctor,got a manual wheelchair(she broke another piece of furniture by trying to use the hover round) i was worried she was gonna break a bone next. She tried to use the manual, hated it, the next morning she woke up and magically the foot was fine....Devine intervention??? or are these mini emergencys we sometimes have a result of behavior, or other mental issues? Who knows. Hate to say shes faking it...but Its strange she goes from cant walk, cant be by herself, to fine in less then 12 hrs. so much. Who knows maybe its my imagination. She woke up yesterday all better then comes out 2 hrs. ago saying I guess we can wrap my foot with the bandage ofter my bath tommarrow(she refused to wrap it the day the doctor told her to) ummm is nit hurting? NO...well if its not hurting why do you need to wrap it? I don't know...well he told you to wrap it cause it was hurting, if its not hurting you dont need to wrap it. You should have done that the day he told ou to. Oh...well I dont uderstand what was the matter...I told you he wouldnt do anything she says. I saw the well meaning relatiive, she let me know she hopes auntie dosnt stop walking, that auntie told her about the wheel chair...I told her auntie was going to walk for as long as she could but that its getting harder for her to. This is not the first time this lady has mentioned her fear of auntie becoming bedridden or going into a wheel chair. I dont know how the heck im supposed to prevent an 86 1/2 year old woman, who already walks with a walker, who is becoming slowley but surely weaker in her walk, and who falls more and more often from eventually becoming wheelchair or bed bound. The nursing her had her as a fall risk during her very short stay, they had her in a wheelchair,wouldnt let her take two steps without help. So here she is able to manuver around on her own in her apartment and she comes out here every day a few times a day. I dont know what more i can do. Auntie isnt a whiner, and i have seen people who could walk much better than her settle for a whell chair. So it isnt that she would be giving up if she did. But if she keeps falling she is gonna have to do something. im suprised she hant broke a bone already.

AND I STRONGLEY AGREE WITH VIC...i HOPE STORMY BREEDS A LITTLE BETTER TODAY:)

LADEE.....this is a wonderful place and you are a strong brave woman. i was wondering when you would have a meltdown...i knew you were bound to at som point. You gotta relieve a little of that stress and not keep it so bottled up. Im praying for you and your son.

Jam... big bird called and he wants his legs back!!!! jkl. thats what my dad used to tell me when i was little. no mater how fat i get, my legs stay the same. makes it a little difficult to wear shorts. The bigger the waist gets, the bigger the legs get, the more my legs look like toothpicks.

Angela...nice...never underestimte the power of an elderly. Lol.

Yeah, a little meltdown and I'm good for another milllion miles, give or take.... I love this thread when everyone is nuts... we need to laugh, it is the best stress reducer I know of.....
Stormy, could have done without the visual you shared about you and dad and the mucus sharing.... but hope you are feeling better, count down to vacation... make sure you take pics, for many of us, your vacation will be the only one we get....
Angela, it's scairy what those old folks can do and not remember.... Ruth could not stand on her own, but you better believe she could get over the rails on the hospital bed..... amazing, but glad no one was hurt...
ASG, what is the 'concerned relative's" deal, it's not like SHE will have to take care of bedriddin Auntie......tell her to email Ladee, I am needing to unload on someone, so 'concerned relative' is as good as any....
Vic, when is Dad's appt??? Make sure you tell us what you find out...
Seeme, am glad no u turns and that Mike hasn't stroked out, or choked out anyone.....
Jam, laughed out loud about Elvis, doesn't take much sometimes, depends on how tired we are I guess....
I know I am forgetting someone, sorry, love to all.
Changed Son's bandages today.... it's a miracle he didn't loose his leg, gonna be some super bad scars......still black and blue.. but he's healing very good, no infection of any kind, a little more movement.... so all in all, he is very blessed....
Oh, and just wanted to share with ya'll, I'm not trying to be strong, I am just not a cryer, never have been.... my first 5 years clean and sober that's all I did was cry.... but the tears just won't come... so don't think I am trying to undo myself here by being strong, which I am, but mine will come out in exhaustion more than tears.... sleep is my stress reducer.
Tomorrow is my long day, will get son all set up in the morning, and then come dragging in when Marie gets back from Austin..... Sonny has been anxious the past few days.... hope tomorrow is a good day for us.
I feel like I am not making any sense, going to drink a cup of coffee and relax, more later, love ya'll.

Ladee... I just want you to know how amazing I think you are. You have said that to me before but i dont think ive ever said it back but have thought many times, you are the one that's amazing. The "concerned realitive" is well meaning, but nosey. I hate to say that she isn't important. She's some kind of a married to a long distant cousin kinda thing. She is in her early eighties herself, but gets around better than some 60 year olds. I would have never guessed her age. She is a very social person and participates with the various social clubs. I never thought she really had much to do with auntie and her husband before, didnt really know she knew them, but after aunties stroke in the nh, she thanked me for visiting auntie one day. I thought to myself why are you thanking me for something ive been doing for years already, it seemed odd. Then auntie told me she had the woman on her checking account. I didnt think anything much as hubby and i were to busy at the time with his mother to be able to help her in that way, but thought well maybe auntie and the woman knew each other better than I thought. After auntie lived with me for a year she lost ability in her hand(temporarily) and was put in the hospital she couldnt write a check for her medicine and we were stuck, she asked me if she could put me on her checks because she never sees this realitive,and what if she became permantley unable to write her own checks.She said she didnt know why she didnt put us on it in the first place, the "concerned realitive" offered to do it for her(while she was in the nh)and knew the ladies at the bank and had it all taken care of. It took us a week to get it changed over because the bank wouldnt do it without the "concerned realitive" being present, she was to busy for a week. When we got there, the realitive had shown up earlier and already had her part done. She was walking out of the bank when we arrived. All she said was she had already signed. Now dont get me wrong. I dont think she is somehow crooked, or would do anything michevious no more than I would, but I think it made her angry auntie was changing it. I think in her mind she was a better person for auntie to use. On the way home from the bank auntie told me that she really didnt know the "concerned realitive" until she was in the nh, the woman started visiting her. It bothered me that, as careful as she had always been she would entrust what little she had left with someone who she had known of, but didnt know. It also bothered me that we had been so busy with everything going on we had neglected auntie and she felt like she had to rely on a stranger. The woman does call her everyday... auntie says shes nosey and askes her to many questions, she also gives her two cents. Sometimes its good, sometimes its not helpful. The woman will tell her something over the phone over and over and auntie gets stuck on it. Like when she couldnt eat the woman kept telling her she needed to eat, then she became obsessed with eating, and would vomit...guess who got to clean it up? I told the woman, she cant eat, she vomits, gotta rest her tummy,she said then she needs ensure...but she dont like ensure, next thing i know..auntie wants ensure, at almost 10.00 for 2 days worth, i got it, she hated it, just like she did the first time i tried it. donated the other bottles to another lady. Its that kinda thing. Now shes being insistant with me about a wheel chair being a bad idea. So aunties fine now and walking around the last two days. If she falls again and gets hurt Im gonna soooo say I told you so this time. Shes the only perswon who calls auntie so i dont want to make waves.

Hi everyone and welcome to the new posters.
notlike- you had me roll'in in laughter.
ladee- hugs to you.
Everyone else I hope your days are going good.

With Easter being the first holiday without our grandma here. My hubby and I decided to head north for our 3 day weekend. We went camping and yes we woke Saturday freezing. It was only 26 degrees out. We took an electric heater but it still wasn't enough. Note to self: Always take extra heat when camping in Northern Michigan in April or have on hand since the weather changes soo much. Makes me wonder if we'll get snow in June. We caught up with a few friends that we haven't seen in a long time and decided to stay another night. Coming back from dinner on Saturday night we got quite the surprise. We almost hit 2 deer standing along the side of road with our side by side. I could almost reach out and pat them on the head. Wonder if that would of been the first for the local police to write up a report 2 deer hit by a side by side. That probaly would of raised our insurance rates.

Thanks ASG, don't feel so awesome today, just tired I guess.... and you are just too sweet.... I hope you always stay that way and don't get jaded like me.... If I am blessed, I will have a sweet caregiver when I can't get around anymore.... I really hope I die before then, as we never want others to do what we do...... if I have my right mind, I think I would be a fun charge... have had too much experiance with all the grumpy gussies, and don't want to be like them.... but all you young women on here just amaze me... I have said it many times, when I was younger, I was too selfish to do what you are doing..... by the way, sorry if I laughed when I found out the cat was involved in her last fall.... ahhhhh sweet revenge..... love you lady, and thanks for the support....

I was Lol when she told me. Your charges are very blessed to have you. I bet you are a whole lotta fun. I hope your son is doing better. He is so lucky to have a mamma like you. I know they dont always realize it, but somewhere along the way they learn. I wonder if Jam's legs are done baking? I thought about tanning mine then decided nope to much energy:)

mismiley... two dear at once, that would have been lucky. I hope you bought a lotto ticket afterwards! It's pretty common around these parts to smash into them certain times of the year. I smashed up my favorite car that way a few years ago:(

Good to hear from you Mis, sounds like you had a great time, followed you on FB , saw where hubby got stuck... lol...glad ya'll didn't hit the deer... don't want to hear about any more wrecks for awhile....
Marie has just been outstanding, kinds creeps me out that my son had to be hurt so badly for her to act human, but am not complaining...we actually laughed yesterday.... I do keep hearing Twilight Zone music in the background tho.... I've probably entered another demension and don't even know it..... ignorance is bliss sometimes...
Son making slow progress, prayers being anwered... appreciate all who have participated in this last Ladee Drama....
My long today, so ya'll won't hear from me until way later... hope everyone has a blessed day.
Thanks again Tina, you are a sweetie... and thanks for using the computer again, my brain is too tired to figure out your phone texts.....
love ya'll.

*long DAY today*, God I make myself so tired.... later

Morning all..laughed as I caught up on all the posts..warms my heart.
Dads neuro appt went well..I was afraid that he wasn't ging to give dad anything but he did..he put him on sinemet for the rigidity..and in a couple of weeks told me to call to get him on the aricept. Then we go back I. Two months. Dad was having a bad day yesterday so it was good that the doc saw it.
We got home ..sat down for lunch with mom...she started feeing pins and needles in fingers and then got a little confused..couldn't talk right.thinks she had a mild TIA... Came out of it pretty quick. But was tired and had headache the rest of the day..
Hubby got home last night!!! Yaay.. Hoping today will be better.. Oh yea the doc says we should see changes in dads rigidity in a few days.
God Bless all..

Awesome Vickie Vic, prayers answered. let us know of his progress. Know this will make things a little easier. Sorry about mom, Sonny has them too, nothing can be done, so tell her to take it easy today...
Happy hubby is home... I know that always lifts your spirits... tell him I said thank you for being a great hubby.... love ya girl, keep us posted...

We have to be nuts to be a caregiver sometimes and yes, a little humor can go a long way as for healing and stress released.
My sister has went back and still has mixed emotions and who wouldn't in her condition. As for the mnl, I finally got those papers filed out and sent off and I guess I just wait for a phone call away for an assessment for Respite care and not to mention their is a waiting period too. I used this websitre as a referral for the Aging Area Agency.
I have a CGM on my side for 3 days now and the tape is getting itchy and it seems to look black n blue due to I think she hit a blood vein when the nurse put it on the side of my stomach. It suppose to constantly check my blood sugars b/s. Sometimes my b/s will get way too high's and way too low's. However, my A1C was a 6.4 which is good my health condition.
I get to drag the mnl with me again to get it taking out and to see a nutritionist to find a pattern of the causes and fixed the problem.
I had to make neon signs with a thick black marker so that the mnl will quit using all my dish detergent so that she will wash her hands in the bathroom. I was going through a big bottle once a wk. Their is only 3 of us here. Not to mention I had to hunt dirty clothes of hers to wash for she will change back n forth throughout the day n will forget which one's were dirty n her eye sight is not that clear.
The 36 Hour book by Mace Rabins has helped me a lot in controlling myself and being a bit understanding about AZ. sometimes. ; )
Now, I am dealing with issues with my dad n stepmom in Fla. they both drink and they have no water for the pump is broken, they don't won't no help from us children. they said they can buy jugs of water and wait on the rain. Are U freaking kidding me! Rain! How do they take showers? I think the alcohol has fried my dads brain. I know he has to be in his late 70's. Family members made an anoymous call to have them checked out for we heard r dad may have broken a hip and has flu. The mnl needed help to get back to the car just from grocery shopping and that was about a bag full for she has loss a lot of weight and smokes like a sailor. One of my brothers tried to get her to see a dr and she told him that she has been smoking for over 30yrs and she didn't won't to find out anything. Our dad said he just wants to die right their on his property. Problem here is that we don't won't them to just die their and that they have about 7 vicious dogs. No family relative nor us grown kids can even go on the property to check on them! When we would gather for family outings we would have to meet them at r aunts place which is a place that not in the best shape either. STRESS!!!! Family members suppose to got someone to check on him but the stepmom came up to the property fence line and told them that they were okay and that this was private property. They just left! They didn't even check on my dad! I'm sorry but I am stressing big time. I know he don't won't to see a dr and that he drinks but what r we to do. Just let them die their and hire a forensic person to find their bones after the dogs get done with them? Suppodely, my borthers are going to call the state people agian. I guess just wait and see. What would y'all do in this situation. STESSSSSSS,,,,