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burned....I am so sorry to hear you are now having to go through this after all you have going on already. Was this the result of someone reporting you or a part of getting everything approved for food stamps and other assistance? I know you have mentioned all the agencies that are making you dance in circles and jump through hoops. Please keep us up-to-date on what is happening....hugs to you!
stormy....have you ever had a migraine? Sounds suspiciously like one.....or the result of stress....:) You had asked what happened to my dog.....it's part of a master plan to make me crazy.....uh huh....took me a couple days to figure that one out! It was Saturday night and I was dealing with Target, when the dog starts screaming and when I see her she is flopping all over the place, tongue hanging out, incontinent of urine, not responding to anything....I've dumped Target in the floor so I can't stay to deal with her, but made sure she couldn't hurt herself, she had flopped into a bathroom. And the other 3 dogs were almost on top of her so she wasn't alone. Anyway, the next morning I was sure I would have to take her in and send her to her eternal dirt nap........she woke up, got out of her bed, and did her thing outside like she didn't have a care in the world. What she is doing now is what she has done since.....walk in a circle over and over and over....I stop counting at 50 times....strange.

And some of you are full of news! Good legs, not so good legs, getting the cold shoulder, PINGO!!!!!!! And beans....woohoo!

Love and Hugs to all of you!
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I am doing ok but i am sapped of strength and spiritually...I am being attacked for how I care for my family and my husband. Its not right...I am on limited budget and funds. I can't always buy shoes that fit my son or find clothes that fit my daughter. I do not even shop for me...I shop for them but I will be happy when my friend is here. Right now this has me so low...i feel like the victim and I am the victim; so are my children and my loving husband. I take care of everyone even with my anxiety disorder and depression; I do it all...I can't get help unless I beg for it and told to move. I have to move to get better services....wth. letting out some vent ttyl Peace
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Wow burned, this is horrible!! Hang in there, it will probably blow over. I am sure if they thought there was a problem, they would have removed your children immediately. Sorry you are going through all this!
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Burned..prayers coming your way. I admire your strength and spirit. We all get so zapped from jumping through hoops. God Bless
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Burned - prayers for you. I know it seems awful right now, and it is, but maybe there will be a silver lining...maybe things will fall into place and you'll get more help. I will keep praying for you. Hugs.
dchurchill-sounds like an excellent doctor who cares about quality of life - including yours! Hope it's a good trip. Hugs.
Ladee-Marie is just as bad as my Mom. I cringe when I read how she treats you and Sonny. I like the BA in heaven idea. I'd go more dark with that, but I'm not in the mood tonight. I'm trying to forget about her for awhile :)
Jam-the doggie probabaly goes in circles from what the seizures have done to her brain. My sil's dog had a few strokes and did the same thing. We're happy to hear she's recovered. Wolf!
Hubby and I made dinner together. He can be so silly at times! We talked, and laughed, and I could pretend for a bit it was just us in this house. I needed that. He says things out loud that I used to hush him for in case Mom would hear. I don't do that now, so I figure that's an improvement.
Parents went to the ballpark today on a tour with their Bible study group, which they joined yesterday. I'm happy for Dad - I know he's wanted to get out and do things so bad. They also paid me for stuff I've bought for them this month. So it was a good day all around.
Itching to get out and work in the yard, but it needs to warm up first!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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Burned, hope things get better for you soon. let us know how things are going...
Vic, glad to hear dad pooped....
Notlike, yeah , we don't have to worry about going to hell, we are already there.
Jam, hope Target is doing better today and you got some rest
Seeme, hope your eye is better today.
Friday, keeping it simple.... later love ya'll
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well I had to pick up my daughter from school today...she wasn't feeling well. She fell asleep in class and I made an appt for her to see her doctor. She been complaining of her tummy hurting and then having a nasty cough that still hasn't gone away meanwhile working myself like crazy to prove these ppl from the govt that whoever made these allegations are liars and fools. Yes still tad upset but it still it was the "very" last thing I needed..so far wont know anything until sometime next wk. Ty for keeping me in ur prayers and support.
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Burned-still praying for you. Hope your daughter feels better.
Ladee-Hope you had a good day and get some rest this weekend.
Hubby, son, and I did a bonfire tonight. Dad even came out and sat a bit. Don't worry, Fire Fairie, we were safe! Made hot dogs and marshmellows. Yum Yum. Another wonderful evening with almost no Mom interaction. My soul needs these times of peace.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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Good Morning!

Wanted to check in and let everyone know I'm thinking of you all........and also wanted to give you an update.
Target is doing a little better this morning I think. Still having terrible pain in his right knee....that seems to be the problem now....incisions are just a nagging irritation.......the sad news is that I took my doggie into the vet yesterday morning to be sent to doggie heaven. I laid down yesterday afternoon for a brief nap and dreamed that she was with Target's poodle whom she dearly loved......yesterday I had to go into the pharmacy and while driving up the street a huge bubble floated across in front of my car.....I quickly looked and there wasn't a child or adult in sight.....was that my doggie telling me goodbye?

I hope everyone has a good day and will check in later.....hugs and angels!!!!
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Yes Jam, that was blind doggie telling you everything is fine.... bubbles always have a rainbow of colors in them.... she is telling you she is whole and happy... hard for you to do, but it is the ultimate decsion of love...hope you are ok today and don't let Target make it worse....
Starri and I are going to visit today....don't think there will be too much else, as I have been feeling a tachycardia episode coming on.... but what do you do when there is no one to help with my son and you have to work... you just do what needs to be done.... then pay the consequences later I guess...
Marie's last shot in her hip really helped.. her pain level was a 2 yesterday, she was in a great mood, laughed and talked alot, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, I am happy she is feeling better, and hope she continues to improve, it makes it better for all of us.....
Ok, going to go clean out my car so starri has a place to sit....lots of rocks and McD bags to get out of there....love ya'll and hugs across the miles....
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Jam, I am glad that Target is doing a little bit better and I am very sorry for your doggie loss. Making decision like that is always hard for they are like our own children. He is in puppy heaven looking down on you.

Everyone else, I hope y'all had a little bit of a break today and I hope the tummy ache for burn'a little girl will go away real fast.
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For 3 days and nights all I have heard is I want a pickle and potato salad, even tho we've had it recently, I am ready scream. Warm weather please come so I can go outside on my porch. I don't think people realize what we go through..
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Loyalty, where in world do you live? We hit 83 here in GA. That must had been some good potato salad. mnl likes her mac/cheese and now I found it in a small micro-wave and stock up on it. Yours on the other hand will go bad. However, the pickles can last forever almost, slice some up and give them to him if it will keep him quite and if it will give you a peace of mind.
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Jam- i am very sorry for the loss of your doggie. They are like our children; part of the family. And when you lose them it just breaks your heart. I too believe that the bubble was from your doggie telling you that everything is fine. I am not having anymore dizzy spells and i have never had a migrane. Thank the lord. Thanks for the concern. Love and hugs stormyyy
Burned- I hope your daughter is feeling better, and i hope you will be able to get a break soon. I know you must need one with having to take care of your husband and kids. Hugs to you!
Loyal- I hope you are able to get outside soon, it is suppose to get up to the high 80's next weekend where i live, maybe it will get that warm where you live too. hugs!
Ladee- how is your son doing? and how is he doing without the drinking? take care, hugs to you too. I hope you and starri had a good time!!!
lil'deb- how it going for you? Thank you again for the hug. I hope you have a good weekend. hugs.
If i missed anyone i am sorry, i hope all of you have a good weekend and a better week ahead. Much love to you all... stormyy
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Son update, he is doing very well, and thanks for all the prayers and concern for his mama!!!! And him too of course... so far, Stormy, he is doing ok without a drink, don't know how it will be when he can walk again... but it's in God's hands, just trying to do this one day at a time....
Yeah, took Starri on a sight seeing tour, she got to take pics of old barns and feilds of wildflowers, we ate, talked, and were pooped when the day was over.... it was nice to get away for the day... son is doing well enough for me to be gone for hours now....
Hope everyone had a blessed day, and Loyalty, my heart goes out to you with the repetition thing, I think out of all the stuff we do, that is the ONE that makes me the most exhausted.... what time is it??? Who is coming to pick us up??????

I think you need a laugh so will share about the night my lady Ruth was pacing and trying to get out of the house... she was an elopment risk, so all the doors had key locks, now this night, she was worked up and had been fussing and paceing and trying to get out of the house for HOURS... her hair was wet from sweat, she was so worked up.... I knew she wouldn't calm down until she felt like it, so was just keeping an eye on her, or so I thought... this woman had bones of steel, I never worried if she took a tumble, it was just a bitch getting her up off the floor... well she tripped over her own feet and down she went, she's still fussing and fuming and kicking, but I thought ok, I'll just change her pants while she's down there... she was not hurt ya'll, I checked her... so I get everything ready and pull those pants off and I swear I will never be the same.... she had somehow managed to get three table knifes and a damned banana in that diaper.... not alot shocks me, but I am telling ya'll, I was stunned speachless..... so after I get her changed and she had calmed down, I got on AC and posted what had happened... OMG we had fun with that one for a long time, I was nicknamed Chiquita, many banana jokes were passed among us... so, hope ya'll enjoyed this little memeory of my lady Ruth, God rest her soul... no matter all the craziness and the exhaustion, and the repetition, I miss her still... hugs across the miles to you all...
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Jam-so sorry for your loss. A bubble - a circle (of life), a shiny, wispy thing (a soul), floating (free) - what a wonderful message from your pet. I don't beleive in coincidences. Just the Lord's hand in giving us peace. Hugs.
Ladee & Starri-sounds like you had a good day. Great you are getting time to visit! Is Starri hooked on rocks yet? LOL
Loyalty-Maybe try saying "Oh yes, that was good when you ate it a little while ago, we'll have more later." Might make them quiet down awhile??? Hugs.
Went out with hubby last night to hear his brother's band play. Didn't drink, just listened to music and saw friends. It was great. But littlest dog still wanted to be fed at 4 AM! Will need a nap today (me, not the dog!)
A blessed day to you all.
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Good Morning!

Thank you all for your good thoughts and caring for me....yes, it's been a tough couple of weeks and not over yet......so I have decided, for the time being, to take a break from posting here and get my home back in order. I will still try to keep up with everyone and read what is going on in your lives......you ALL are important to me and this thread and site are so helpful in keeping us sane by allowing us to reach out and touch someone that we might not be able to otherwise. The bond of care giving is unique and if someone has never done it then they don't have a clue how it changes and shapes us, but we all know without having to explain. So, I'm thinking of you all and sending you a bubble to make your day peaceful........Jam
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Bubbles back to you Jam, If we need you we will scream until you answer...You are always here for us, so you deserve a break, thank you for starting this thread. It has been a life line for so many of us, and will continue to be.... prayers for you always....and we know you are really not getting your house in order, you will be setting on the swing outside blowing bubbles... love, hugs and deep appreciation.
Notlike, that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read... I will never look at a bubble the same ..... thank you for sharing that....
We are such a great group here, so much love and support, let's make Jam proud and keep things going.....let her know she was a good mama hen, she taught us well, and I know she deserves a break..... love to you all, hugs and angels...
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I just wanted to let you know that what you do is selfless and while you may not feel appreciated know that you are. It's good that you have things like this forum to vent because as caregivers you need that outlet. I've also picked up a couple of books and related to Still Have Faith by Micheal Stalter. While he writes about dealing with his wife's breast cancer I think his 20 year ordeal can relate to the frustrations and void that you feel. I just wanted to pass that along.
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Well my anxiety level is at a all time high today, I forgot to take my antidepressant this morning and now i am over here at dads. I got to get outta here!!! Got to get to them. I don't know why i am so anxious today. Last night i got a terrible sinus and tension headache and i took meds for them but it has not helped and i took some more today and i still have it. Lord if he ever quits coughing and goes to sleep i am leaving him a note and telling him i had to go. We have been leaving him here some by his self. Lord let this headache go away, let him go to sleep and let me get out of this house!!!!!! Stormyyyy
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Stormy , your body is saying what you won't let your mouth say.... I am going to pray that you get the courage to talk to someone, anyone, to teach you how to tell you family you can't do this anymore.... prayers for you....
In my quite time this morning I was thinking of all of you as individuals, the load you are carrying, the 'no time outs', and all the things that each of us feel collectivley.... it helps me everyday to know that I am not alone... that at the end of the day, I get to come on here and tell ya'll about my day, good or bad.... that I have a safe place to share... that I can get just get stupid sometimes and it's ok....
One of these days we are going to make arrangements for our charges, and march on Washington.... can't you just see us all, we'd look like that scene from Gone With the Wind at the train station, all the wounded, some of us walking with limps because our backs hurt, some of leaning on each other for a quick nap, some of us saying, "in a minute' over and over again... the collective deep sighs could change the atmospeheric conditions, and cranky, OMG, most of us cranky.... now someone would listen to us, because you aren't going to get that many tired women in a group and some one not hear what we would have to say......WE NEED HELP HERE... we are saving you billions of dollars every year and we are invisible to the masses.... the average person walking down the street has no idea what we do everyday and most of the night....
If we ever decide to have a revolution, it will get someones attention... surely there would be one day that we weren't all tired at the same time... and if we had to we could get our elders to do the talking, can't you see the look on the governments faces having 20 million elders asking what time is it and who's coming to pick us up all at the same time.... yeah, let's bring em with us.... leave em all there for an hour, we'd go get coffee... think there would be some changes then????? Something for us to think about.... love and appreciate what each and every one of you do on a daily and nightly basis..... hugs across the miles.....
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Ladee ~ That's quite an image. "Tomorrow is another day."
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Thanks Ladee I really do appreciate your concern. I cried myself to sleep last night and to some i know this sounds terrible of me, but i prayed to God to just take him home. I told him i know that it was wrong for me to ask this of him and i am sorry for having these thoughts and i knew it was a sin. And i feel like i am a terrible person, like i have failed everyone. Especially dad. Cause i just don't care anymore mainly about him. I don't really see him as a father, just a burden. God how could it have come to this. How does one come to grips with a feeling like this, how can they think like that about their own father. I never wanted this, to feel like this about him, but i do. I wish to God i could change it and have ask him to change my feeling towards him but that has not happened. Ya'll please do not think harshly of me cause i really don't know what i would do without ya'lls help to vent to or for ya'll advice and just concern for me. I have no one i can talk to except my husband about some of my feelings but i have not told him about my feelings towards dad. I love all of ya'll for being my friends and for just being here for me. I feel so lucky i have found all of you. All my love Stormyyy....
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Stormy, I don't think harshly of you as I have the same feelings toward mom. I love her to death but this resentment is eating away at me and I also pray for fogiveness. I have listened almost non stop in between her naps for four days and at time nights, on how she wants potato salad and a pickle. Even if I give her more she will continue. I really hear your cry for help as I am crying too. Hugs, Loyalty
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Stormy, no one here or at least I don't think you are terrible for praying for God to take him home. Only you know what 'you are really going through socially, psychological and mentally.' I done the same thing when we were at the hospital with my husband's dad. He had went through so many surgies for cancer due to smoking and in the hospital he was just spitting up blood through a tube. He would stop breathing and everyone would cry and then he would start breathing and everyone would tell him to fight it. It was very hard on the family watching this go on and on. I finally just prayed and later found out that another family member had prayed for the God to take him home. Within a few minuets he went home. So never thank that again please, for you are only human. I am sorry you are going through such a time .

Loyalty, I had no idea that even if you kept making your mom her favorite dish that she would continue to ask for more and forget that she just ate it. My mnl does forget what she ate as well. If nothing else try to look at that at least she loves your cooking and I hope that puts a little smile on your face. ; )
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I meant that I should know that she would keep asking because of my mnl. duh.
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Finally got my husband out of the house on his own...i just blew up at him and asking him why do i have to constantly do the errands. You got a power chair get outside besides ur appt..Ill give ya whatever money u need....just for once I want a break from the errand running. I want to have peace n quiet but still doesnt change the fact that CPS has us in their system. I still have to take my daughter to her appt today and get her cleaned up; besides myself. I do not get that they say my children are neglected ...my children get all the attention in the world. Still this is one to tick me off still...any advice for my family.
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I wasn't trying to be unreasonable...i just been sick and i couldnt do it anymore. Anyone ever feel like that and btw my spouse is still reasonable minded to make rational decisions.
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Loyal and lil deb thank you so much for not judging me, it means alot too that ya'll understand my feelings. I think it would be this bad if i had a better relationship with my dad but we just never bonded like that unlike me and my mom. We were so close. She was my best friend and i could tell her anything and she was always so understanding and loving. She was the sweetest and most caring mother anyone could ask for. I miss her so much!!!!
Loyal- On the situation with the potato salad and the pickles. This is what i would do: I would have someone to make me a gallon of potato salad and i would go to sam's club and buy a gigantic jar of pickles and set both of them in front of your mom and say " Have at it Mom" and let her eat til her heart was content. Maybe that would give you a break for awhile..... Thank you Loyal for the laugh. It's been awhile since i have had one of those. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Stormy..I have had the same thoughts and I struggle with them same as you. Hang in there girlie..maybe you and sis and brother can sit down and make a new schedule out. You spending less time there for awhile...something to think about.
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