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Renarad,thank you for letting us know about Ted's mom.... he is in our prayers and please tell him we miss him.... hugs across the miles for him....
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Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

Happy Mother's Day!
By: Spring in the Air
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Thank you lildeb for saying nice things to me. The reason she isn't at sis house is b/c sis won't take her and my house is too small Thank the Lord for that!!! My other problem is that my husband has dementia as well and is mean and rude too. Sometimes I feel like ready for the NH myself.
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Vivian-That was a high blood pressure. I hope everything goes well at the follow up appointments. Sometimes, you need to learn how to survive before you can thrive. But everyone is right - if your blah mood keeps up, go back to the doc.
Stormy-prayers for your Dad. And you too.
Lildeb-thanks, I had a great time being out. Oh my, that sounds like I escaped from an institution! Well, in a way I did, if even for a few hours. LOL I got a new cell phone case, and some candles. Spent all my money and came home. It was a good night.
The bean seeds are planted! This is HUGE. And they were planted by the woman who wasn't sure she'd be here to grow anything this year. I know the cancer will keep coming back, but I am happy for Mom that she's got this extra time. And if the d**m seeds don't grow, I will just shoot myself! JK
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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How am I today? I, too, am exhausted and continue to question if I'm doing enough in caring for my parents. It can be a very lonely place and there are many times during the course of my day that I feel hopeless. It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who's having a bad day.
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Welcome Beckncall, hope you come back and let us know your situation and how we can support you.... this is a great group.... full of love and even laughter on occassion..... hugs to you
Notlike, if the beans don't grow, go find some at the local nursery and put them in the ground....or a neighbor that has a garden, or hell I'll send you a few plants... but what ever happens, do NOT let Jack climb that beanstalk..... love ya...
didn't read very far as it is 2;30 in the morning.... what am I doing up??? Good question.... I still do this on occasion from taking care of Ruth... funny how some of this gets in our DNA.....
I finally have a day off... yeeehaaaaa, so will check in later... speaking of DNA, I check into this sight at least a few times a day... I'm so nosey, afraid I'll miss something..... hugs across the miles...
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Morning everyone! Pray we all have the best day possible! Liny..thank you I need that reminder! Seeme..prayers for you on your journey for mom and woohoo's for MIL! God is Good!
Dad had a bad day yesterday..hoping he will be a bitt better today. Our caregiver will come sit with him today while I take mom to salon to get her hair done. She also has Tuesday's free so she will start coming here then too. I will really help as dad is getting harder and harder to move around these days. God Bless all
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Hey all- talked to sis this morning and she said last night some time dad started coughing up the blood again she found some on his shirt, she was asleep at the time. And she said that he coughed up some more this morning. He is asleep now. She talked to the nurse for the dr that did dads procedure yesterday and she said that he took a biopsy yesterday and that we should know something later on today. She said that his esophagus and stomach looked fine when he looked at them yesterday. That's all i know right now. I will check back in later and let ya'll know what i find out from the drs report. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Beckn, So glad you dropped by to talk to us.
ladee, how are things?
It being Friday I took care of my mother. She wanted to look at picture albums so I got one out. I put it on the table and proceeded to sit down to look at it with her. Mind you, I am 60+ and don't move around all that fast. I just couldn't sit down quick enough for her. So she yelled at me, "SIT DOWN!!!!!" So I said well all right, I am sitting down as fast as I can. Then we looked at the pictures. I almost went home instead. I thought, well I can tell my friends at agingcare.com about this.
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Yeah Brandy, it's amazing how quickly we keep our freinds here in our mind, I have conversations with ya'll (in my head) on days that Marie is being a grumpy gussie....Like yesterday, think Sonny has had another TIA, it's not a UTI, had his urine tested, it's not that thank goodness...but saw myself posting later saying....
Put your socks on......x 6
take your pills......x 4
take your watch off x 5, ect... that's how it felt, was simply adding how many times I had to ask him to do something... and then telling ya'll about it..... what in the world would we do without each other...Never do I go to the store and get fresh green beans that I don't want to start laughing because of Notlike's mom and the beans.... And now when I hear 'SIT DOWN' I will think of you.... so we are in each others hearts and minds a lot.... like thoutgful times for the people we haven't met yet care about....
Viv, have you been to the Dr. yet??? Hope you are feeling more alive today...
Vickie Vic, glad to hear you are getting another weekend off, shoot, you'll start feeling human before no time... sans all the pain reminding us that caregiving is not for sissies......
Son is doing better each day, told him yesterday how proud I was of his attitude... if that had been me on my back and unable to do anything for the past month, there would be slimy stuff on the windows from my head spinning.....I know, why do I insist on giving visuals.... character defect I guess... oh well....
Jam, hopefully you are at least reading, know that we love ya, hope Target is on his way to mending, hope you get that garden planted, and we love and miss ya....
Seeme, have a safe trip to be with your family for your mom and dad's service.... let us hear from you when you get back....
I know I have not named some, didn't go back very far on my reading.. sorry... was able to take a very good, restful nap this afternoon and want to keep that in place , so am going to go, will check back in later... everyone have a good weekend.... thoughts and prayers for you all.... hugs across the miles....
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Hey everyone I just talked to my sister and asked her if she heard back from the nurse that was going to find out about the biopsy results. And she said that she talked to her but that the pathology report had not come in yet. So it looks like we got to wait til monday to find out something. Dad was coughing up more blood this afternoon. I will check in later on ya'll. Love and hugs to all. Stormyyy
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Stormy, the waiting can be the worst esp. all weekend.
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Brandy- You are right about that. It's going to be a long weekend if he keeps on coughing up the blood off and on. I just don't know if it is coming from the biopsy that the dr did or if it is coming from something else. It's the hurry up and wait game again. We are a expert on that one. It happens all the time in our situation with dad. I hope you have a good weekend Brandy!!!! Love and hugs to you Stormyy
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Stormy, we trust that if it gets bad ya'll will take him to the ER.... and I think most of our time is spent 'waiting', waiting for them to get done doing something, for them to finish a meal, to get undressed for a shower, to take thier meds, to walk down the hall, and on and on.....Sonny has had another TIA and is so confused... it's not a UTI, I insisted that we get his urine checked.... TIA's we can do nothing about, UTI's need immediate attention.... come to find out, he was supposed to have had his urine checked week before last....She reminds me so much of Notlike's mom, if it isn't about her, then it's not important.... and I started this job with the support of the daughter, now I have to nag and call her at work and home.... this part is not my job.... but I worry about him being neglected... His blood pressure is so low on Monday mornings... because it never occurs to her to push fluids on him.....it's such a fine line being a PAID caregiver, get to do all the work, observing, and can't get the family to listen.... I won't go thru this again as I did with Ruth ending up with a UTI that killed her because NO ONE WOULD LISTEN TO ME..... I love my work, ya'll all know this, but I HATE dealing with families.....later, love ya'll
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Hey all I talked to sis this morning while i was on my way to carry connor to a party at a movie theater a hour away. And i asked her was dad still coughing up the blood and she said that he had some in his canula this morning and some when she got home last night. I mean he acts like he is fine. Nothing hurting or bothering him. It beats all i have ever seen. He was shelling peas for me yesterday while i was cooking him cabbage, ham, and fried squash. He was fine one minute i went in the den for something and i saw blood in his canula. So i don't know what's going on. Sis thinks it is something minor like some irration from the stretching of his throat or not enough humidification. I believe it is something else. More serious. Maybe i am being pessimesstic. But i see and feel the swollen lymph nodes that have been there for a year. He is more short of breath and now he is coughing up blood. I am just trying to weigh everything out. But what do i know, i am not a doctor.

Ladee- Yes if things get bad we will definetely carry him to the ER. I hope it doesn't come to that. But i hope we will find out why he is coughing up blood monday. Love and hugs to you Ladee!!!! And to everyone else on caregiver alley!!!! Stormyyy
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Stormy, hasn't he done this every time the trach is stretched???? If he's not in pain, then try not to worry.... easier said than done.... of course he is worse now than this time last year, we all are....lol.....If it's not profuse amounts of blood, then it's something minor.... glad Conner got to go to a party today, and hope you had fun too.,

I am enjoying my quite time.... get so little of it.... and what is with everyone, where are you guys, new posters, we sure would like to get to know you better.... can't do that unless you post... and nothing is sacred here, we talk about everything...... and make fun of our lives.... and sometimes of our elders, and even of each other if warrented.... so come on ya'll, we can't let this thread fade into the mist.... hugs across the miles to you all...
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beck-Welcome! You are not the only one who feels like you do. We have all been there. This site is a world of people who care and are on the same journey. Please come back, and tell us more about your self. Hugs.
Vic-glad you are getting more help. You sure can use it. Hugs.
Stormy - we are waiting with you for word about your Dad. Try to remember that worrying will not change the answer you get on Monday. Did Connor have fun at the movies? Hugs.
brandy-Oh, can't they be mean? Next time, dance yourself all the way to the chair! Twirls take alot longer than walking:) Hugs.
Ladee-I picked up a rock yesterday, and of course thought of you. I've been stepping on it for two weeks when I'm out at work having my smoke break. So I figured it's mine now. It's orange and black. Can't tell if it's natural or man-made, but it's cool and I like it.
Took Dad grocery shopping today. That made Mom mad. Until I mentioned we were taking my car, then she relaxed. She doesn't like when someone else puts wear and tear and their van. Dad was frustrated that she was acting so awful at first, but now the problem is solved. Yeah.
I also think about you all during the day. I hope you are having good ones, and I hurt for you when you don't. I can't wait to tell you something funny, or even just the rare normal thing that happens to me. I laugh out loud reading your posts, and can see the situations we are in in my head. This site has been salvation for me. I wish each and every one of you angels to carry your loads, as you have all been angels to me.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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Notlike, becareful, the rock thing can become an addiction... no matter where I am I am looking for rocks.... is that normal... bhahahahahahahaha, like any of us would recognize normal..... and poor old mom, i'll just pray for her and M, no, i'll pray for us first, then them... alrighty??? They need the prayers and i need the practice.... love ya sweetie.....
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Ladee- last time dad started coughing up the blood about 3 days before he had the stretch done and after the stretch it quit. And this time he started with the blood the day of the stretch before he had it done. So i don't know if it is coming from the hole closing up or what. It could be that maybe. Connor did have fun at the party, the kids saw a pirate movie and the party theme was done in pirate stuff. It was cute and we both had fun, it was something different for us both. Hope all of you have a good nite. Hugs stormy
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Jam- I hope you come back soon and let us know how you and Target are getting along. I hope his recovery is fast for you and him. Missing you!!! Love and hugs Stormyyy
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Thanku to all who have welcomed me into this beautiful support system. I found all of you just in time, becuz crying alone was jst not working for me anymore. Ladee,you asked about my specific situation, so I thought I would share it with people who can relate to my everyday world. I am 53yrs old, and solely responsible for the total care of both my parents. My mother is manageable, but my father is suffering thru the beginning stages of dementia. There are moments when he is very alert and lucid, then within hours he can be completely confused and disoriented. He has always been a man of great wisdom, and an immense amount of pride. It has been extremely difficult to watch this cruel disease take him day by day. My heart is always aching and there's a sadness that surrounds my life everyday knowing that my dad is slowly slipping away. I call this time in my life, "the slow goodbye". Even though this is so painful to watch, I am thankful to God that I have been given this time to love and care for him as I do everyday. It has allowed us to have a closer relationship and when God takes him home, I will have no regrets. I love this man more than I have loved any other. He is my mentor, my best friend, and my counsel through everything. I cannot imagine ever losing him, but I know that I must face the inevitable and stay strong for him and my mother. I pray that I can endure what lies ahead. Thanks for your words of support..I need this group more than I realized..once again...I'm crying,,hugs to all
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Beck, so happy you returned and shared what is going on... and also happy to hear you are making as many memories as you can as time allows... I HATE this disease, I HATE it with a passion.... my sweet S is having a very rough time right now, has declined to another stage of Alz and sitll has a tiny bit of himself knowing things are not right with him.... breaks my heart to see him so confused and getting angry because he can't find the words to express himself....
So, you keep coming here, and you let us know when you are grieving, it is not only the long goodbye, but we loose them twice.... but at least here you will get support, love, laughter, hugs and prayers... and advice if you need it.... just ask...
So many hurting people here, and we get together to lighten each others load... I have been here for a long while... not much surprises me anymore, and you will not be judged... we all have our sad days, our mad days, our tired days, and our silly days,,, it's ok to laugh too, it makes things a little easier... so keep coming back and letting us know how you are... Everyone of us will relate in some way... hugs across the miles to you, and as Jam would say, we'll keep the light on for ya.....
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Cow Pattie Stormy...... !!!!!!!
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Yeah i guess i did get the cow pattie this time. Thanks Ladee.
Beck- I am very sorry you are having to go through this with your father. I know your heart is breaking. But hopefully the good memories you have and are making will replace the pain that you are feeling. My heart goes out to you!!! Much love and hugs to you Stormyyy. And welcome to the caregiver crew.....
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Well CPS stop by and they did do a suprise visit and even brought some material for hubby so he can use his sewing machine and I am just grateful there were no more craziness or other foul ups but found out my kids have small yet big feet. My bff is relaxing and so is her husband; and her kids are enjoying it here. This is working out so far...now just matter of going to DES and fax time sheet and pay bills and do taxes.
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Good Morning ladies!

I'm here....reading and following all of you....don't think for one minute I'm not here! Just needing a "brain rest"......everything here is good.....I have the meaning of my bubble tucked away in my heart....thank you notlike.....Target is healing, walking on his own, fixed a meal for himself yesterday, sleeping and back to being the person he used to be before he got sick.....been a while since I've seen him. The col just continues to be confused....doesn't recognize her own granddaughters..

Welcome to all the new posters.......come back and tell us stories..........we need someone new to make fun of......hugs and angels to all of you!!!!!
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Good morning, new friends. Thanku for your postings..I can see that this site is going to b my new addiction...btr than the old ones..lol..Reading all these postings is a comfort to me, even though the comfort comes through the sharing of suffering and loss. I cry tears for all of you, and pray without ceasing..I havent checked in with dad yet this morning, but I pray we have a btr day than yesterday. He was so confused and repeating everything over and over. This journey has truly tested my patience! The other situation that I deal with that I never saw coming, is the position of therapist to my mother.. Poor thing..she tries so hard to keep it together, but she has regular melt-downs, and then I get the infamous 911 call that sends me rushing to the house to find mom in the fetal position crying uncontrollably, and I try to help her thru it, when,inside, I'm just as in need of therapy as she. There are times she feels suicidal, and it breaks my heart. They are resistant to any kind of home health care, so I do my best to be there in whatever capacity I'm needed. I feel so old..so tired, and very alone most of the time. I hate this disease, just as all of you. It has taken so much from so many..but then I can clearly see the blessings in it as well. My emotions are all over the map! On top of all of this, I am at odds with my 3 kids. They are not much support and it only fuels anger and resentment in me. They will have to live with the regrets that they have chosen, and when their grandparents r gone, they will have to live with what they did, and didnt do while they were here. I sound very self-absorbed, dont I? Excuse my pity-party..I dont talk to anybody about these things, then I found all of you!!!!! Anyway, between my parents and my kids, I've temporarily lost my way, and my sanity. I do have good moments,however brief..My husband is my support, but sometimes he needs a break from his mess of a wife. From this posting..do u blame him??? Going to call dad now..prayers,please. May u all find strength to get thru your day..hugs all around..
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Welcome back Jam, if only for a drive by..... love ya and miss ya...
Beck, if being sane is part of being with the group we are all screwed!!!!!! So am happy to say it is not a requirement.... and what you are feeling is normal, what you will come to refer to as your 'new normal', none of us here are NORMAL, what ever that means.... too many sleepless nights, too much angst from not having family participation.... too much hearing the same thing over and over... so yes, tears are part of this, grief, sadness, anger, powerlessness... it's all part of the territory.... but ya know what...... we do have each other... and just knowing someone else really understands gets us a little further down the road.....one suggestion I am going to make, is not to look at yourself as a mess... you are human, being torn in many directions, if we already knew how to do this we wouldn't need each other....and if you are mess, then that means I'm a mess and I ain't havin' no part of that....lol......so keep coming here, telling us how you feel, and we'll all move forward thru the fog.....hugs to you...

Ok, I've had plenty of rest this weekend, and my stomach still drops when I think about tomorrow, let's see, can we all say BURN OUT!!!!!!!!!
love ya'll and hugs across the miles....
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ok...here's my new thought...a posting a day keeps insanity at bay!!!!! do i have an amen?...lol
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You have an AMEN...... love it....
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