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I am just dreading Mother's Day. So I decided to give her some gifts and flowers and a card tomorrow. Sister won't tell me what she has planned for the actual day so I have to do it tomorrow. Mom sometimes doesn't like what I give her and if I give her candy, sister throws it away. Mom may be alone on Sunday, but so be it, she favors sister anyway, so she will have to be with sister or be alone.
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Brandy if you can plan something for Sunday that you would like to do-your mother does not appreciate what you do for her-I do not understand why they can not just say thank you for gifts and I love it-why do they have to find fault with what you gave them-now I just give gift cards to her favorite restuarant-she has been unhappy with other things I give her-so why should I stress over it at all.
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Austin, they don't say thank you and appreciate things b/c mother has dementia and narcissitic personality disorder. She has a brain disorder. That is how I forgive her. It is her disease speaking.
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Just a quick stop-in, will comment on posts when I'm awake. Painted and yardwork tonight, so I'm tired. Hugs to everyone and thanks for all the smiles.
A shout out to my cousin Ladee! :)
Good day today - really nice patients at work, and very little interaction with Mom.
Good night, and better tomorrows.
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Ladee, you are too funny and putting all jokes to aside, I do hope your son surgery goes well. I be a nervous wreck myself. That camcording may be a great idea and maybe I could make a poster board and it wouldn't have to be but so tall for I'am only 4'7" and not going grow anymore. ; )

beckncall53, that is all you can do sometimes is try to find laughter in what is going on and that way we keep from going completely crazy. However today she was getting on my last nerve while I at a conference about caregiving and finally called the hubby to pick her up and take her to his job. Well, before I went back in we all went to eat lunch and she was mad at me for telling him that she kept complaining to everyone. She denied it and said she didn't know I felt that way about her.
Ladee, I wished that I had recorded her,darn, another one got away. You really got to stay on your toes as a caregiver and this is just moderate stage. Lord help me. So we went to McDonald. I order us all something to eat and I gave mnl her cup so she could get some coke she refuse my help. so quitely watched her as she filled her cup with grape soda instead of coke. Let just day that, I was just grinned ear-to-ear. I so bad... I did feel bad in mid of eating n offer to dump her drink for she kept saying it tasted funny. Instead, hubby got up and done it for us.

BSO213, my mnl does the combative stuff and just wisper cuss as soon as I would walk by or at the living room that is if I don't give her my full attention. Someone here had mention using head phone sets and that does wanders sometimes.

Golfgirl, sorry you had to reschedule another appointment for your mom. Small things like needed room for a wheel chair in a cab is taking for granted by others for they do not have to deal with the situation until they have to face it themselves. That was quick thinking for an excuse to keep her from getting upset and at least you got a chuckle on the way out.
Everyone have a good night at least the mnl is not night walking wandering yet.
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I finally got Mom to the eye Dr. for her blurry vision. They say it looks like macular degeneration. She is blind in her left eye since birth. She has an eye disease called toxoplasmosis and it flaired in the early 70's and caused alot of scarring, then a cataract grew over the spots she could see through. Back then you had to wait for cataracts to "ripen" before they could be removed so she went for a few years nearly blind. Now I think she is heart sick at the thought of going blind. The Dr. says there are new meds they didn't have 5 yrs ago, and it helps it was caught fairly early since she was there in January and there was no sign of it then. Its been a long day. Seeing a retina specialist on Monday in Muncie which is an hour away. She doesn't want me to tell my brothers and sisters. I feel so bad for her. Shes lost the use of her legs and partially her left arm, congestive heart failure, and now her sight. Her short term memory is getting bad. Just had to spill it before I went to bed. Better tomorrows I pray. Goodnight to all of you Angels.
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Morning everyone, It's been so long since there has been a "good" morning, I don't even use that word anymore.....
brandy, do what your heart guides you to do in regard to Mother's day... I was thinking this morning, when they were raising us, they had no history with us, yes they brought their history into OUR lives, but as we take care of them , WE have history with them.... so our job is twice as hard... not only do we do what we do for them, but have all the angst that comes with being raised, or abondoned or abused by them... what the F**k is wrong with this picture...????? So do what your heart guides you to do.... have no regrets....
Cousin Notlike, you know, I bet we have a Cousin IT somewhere!!! (re: The Munsters) Anyone here hairy enough to volunteer.... this is the best family we have, so pick your family label and let us know.... but no one gets to be the Mama or the Daddy.... the only rule we have....other than that,it's wide open...
How is mom reacting to you not having much to do with her??? That's what I did with M yesterday... I choose to make myself a 'moving' target, staying busy and out of mouth range.... S and I had a good day, so all was not in vain...
Lildeb, get someone to make some cardboard cut outs of you and place them all over the house... if nothing else she will be so confused she won't know who to talk to first....with little motion detectors that activate a recording when someone is near.... I think I have missed my calling... I could make a fortune with some of these ideas for caregivers to get a break....
Golfgirl, good move about the white lie, what ever it takes to keep them calm.... and kudos to you for leaving when it started getting loud.... and no problem about the post... some on this sight really don't like me, so I'm sure they ignored your suggestion... or wished they had 'defeathered' me thierself....lol
BSO, it is crazy making isn't it... it's about them treating us that way because they think it's ok... somehow, somewhere we gave them perimission to do this, unknownly on our part...
Caregiving is just this great big crazy ass puzzle that has been thrown at our feet and like a bunch of dummy's we started trying to make the pieces fit.... at least at the end of the day we all have each other... blessings and hugs to you all, ttyl
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Good morning everyone. Hubby got out of the hospital yesterday and is now back at the nursing. So several hours later he calls me and is worried about his little sack of Melt Away Candies our daughter got for him that he couldn't eat while in the hospital! I've kept people up to date via email since his stroke. I felt better after I wrote to tell them he was released and then told them how I hope they never have to go to a nursing home. No visitors and people forget he exsist etc. I'm sure I'm on their list now, oh well, so be it. Think it's time to just quit the emails to update them. If they are interested they can ask me or go see him. When I'm not there to see him, he calls and wants to know when I'm coming over and when are we going out next. When he's at the NH I go about 3 times a week. Tonight I'm going to go to my camper about 40 miles away so I can get away and then come home Sunday morning since it's Mothers Day. Hope everyone has a better day. I'm hoping to since I have something to look forward to for once.
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slkanger, I am so sorry your husband is having to see how people can be sometimes, especially now when he really needs visitors... and don't worry about who didn't like what you had to say.... hope it made them feel awful for ignoring a friend..... hope you have a relaxing time away.... hugs...
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Viv, I knew I missed someone this morning, so sorry to hear about moms loss of sight... hopefully the meds will help, what a horrible thing to know you may loose your sight.... prayers for you and mom.... hugs and angels...
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Ladee, You always make me laugh. I am hairy enough to be IT. I'm fair skinned used to be blonde with bluish green eyes. I have black hair growing everywhere LOL! I cant believe I'm putting it out there, but I almost spit out my coffee when I read that. You are hilarious!!!
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As the caregiver for my grandparents i find it aggrevating that everyone else has a life to live, and forget helping me out. I get out maybe twice a month for about 4 hours each time :-(
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Good afternoon everyone. Early Mother's Day went exceptionally well!!! She liked her gifts and the card. She was pleasant all day and was really with it. It was like she took a happy pill or something.
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Brandy, that is so awesome!!!!! I love it when prayers are answered....
And Notlike we have a new cousin.... IT, her real name is Viv, but she says she quailifies because she is hairy, and apparently very comfortable with herself for sharing that with us.... I am a very visual person, and it has blown my poor little over worked mind....So, we are starting our family tree here, everyone welcome, just say who you are... and please, don't give me an oppurtinity to do it....ya'll know I'll take it over the top.....

Thank God today is Friday..... love ya'll, hugs and angels....
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Hi everybody i hope ya'll are doing ok today or tonight. Well this month with dad is going to be nothing but drs appts. He had one today with the dr that has been checking his tsh levels. And dr said that it looked fine. He made dad a appt with the dermatologist cause dad has been complaining about some moles on his shoulder that have been bothering him. I asked him did they itch or hurt and his response was i don't know i just know that they are there. So the dermatologist is suppose to take it off tues. Then dad has one with the ear, nose and throat dr the 17th, may 22 is with the dr that does dads stretching on his throat and also the one that done the biopsy. So we will see what happens next..... I hope all of ya'll have a Happy Mother's Day!!! Love and hugs stormyyy
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At the e.r. Pawpaw had an episode not sure what happened possibly a siezure..bp was very low..waiting on lab work and they just took him for a ct-scan..so now its sit and wait
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beck-As practical advice, have you tried writing the coffee maker directions out on a poster board or something? Alot of people don't retain what they hear...seeing the instructions might be better. I challenge you to draw pictures as needed (don't know if you're artisitc or not). As fantasy advice, could you make enough coffee in the morning for the whole day and put it in carafees? Or an IV drip? LOL In reality - my parents have been here over 6 months now, and I still find the microwave screen saying "Push to Start" with nothing in it. Hugs.
Vivian-so sorry to hear about your Mom's eyesight. You might want to contact the Council for the Blind to see what help they can offer. Hugs. And glad to welcome Cousin It! LOL
Stormy-wow, lots of appointments this month for you and Dad. Wouldn't it be great if they supplied beds for caregivers to get naps while waiting??? Hugs.
Ladee-The more cousins the merrier! I want Hand to help me around here! LOL Maybe we can pass Hand around to the best-named cousins! :) Mom is being generally decent, even though I don't seek her out to spend time together. What seems to be most important is that when she does want to talk, I listen attentively and be very impressed with whatever she has to say. I don't bother telling her much about me anymore, like my day at work or whatever, because she doesn't seem to care. Unless she can make a crisis out of it and tell me what to do. And Dad clues me in when he can about what she's on a bender about, so I know in advance when to sound very suprised or interested. I am earning an Academy award daily here. I love the puzzle image - Lord knows all the pieces here don't fit together! And still I keep trying, along with everyone else on this site. Hugs.
slk-Enjoy yourself at the camper. Give up the emails if you want, or try adding things like "He's love some company this week," or "When can you stop by?" Soemtimes, people have to be pushed into behaving. Hugs.
crs-Welcome! It sounds like you are in need of a break and not getting enough help. Blessings to you for taking care of your grandparents. Hope everything comes out okay at the ER. Please let us know, and come back and spend more time with us. Hugs.
brandy-So happy your early Mother's Day went well! What a blessing. Now - spend a guilt-free Sunday doing something YOU want. Hugs.
I had a pretty good day, including a nap. Have been giving gimpy dog asprin twice a day, and he is doing better. Wondering how the weekend will go...
Good night, and better tomorrows.
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Evening everyone......I just got off the phone with seeme and she asked if I would let everyone know that she and her husband are in Maine, at the bedside of her mil. She had a stroke and is not expected to survive the night. They are all doing fine, although tired and sleepy. She is having trouble getting an Internet connection but will update on mil's status when she is able. She asked that everyone send a prayer their way...............
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Notlike-i will get a few hr break tomorrow...today was my 16 yr anniversary...get go have dinner with my hubby
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Sending seeme and her hubby some much needed prayers. Thanks for the update, Jam.

Happy Early Mother's day everyone.
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Good Morning! Checking in to see what's up for the weekend.......

Happy Anniversary crs!

Haven't heard anymore from seeme....maybe later on or ladee has heard something.

Didn't get our daily phone call from the col yesterday....the day before she was talking with Target and told him that a former aquaintance from years ago had just shown up at the NH......as far as I know he is no longer among the living.......she's been shopping with her husband....so when she says she is visiting with her daughter, then we will know the downhill journey has started. She is very easily redirected away from the demanding to come home these days, although each conversation starts with "I'm incarcerated here and these people won't let me out"........

I'm thinking ladee needs a chicken butt warmer for her avatar....................

Hope everyone has a glorious day filled with at least one nap...........
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And Jam, you get to be the Mother Hen of our family tree, tho I said no mama's or daddy's, rules are made to be broken.... yeah, my poor little chicken needs a respite long enough to grow some new feahters....but as long as I am working for M, I totally expect my ass feathers to jerked out every day, butttttt, only if I get close enough..... ya, uh huh....
Happy Anniversary CRS, and I hope you will forgive me if I forget and call you CPR.....
Need to go check on Son then hit the road.... love ya'll have a day, if not a good one... hugs and angels....
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Notlike...thanku for the coffee maker advice.I will try to tap into my inner Picasso, and draw the steps...i love a challenge..lol
I'm off to go to dad's house and drain their swimming pool...thank God my husband is helping! Hope everyone has a good day...
Later, ladies....hugs
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Lol ladee as long a you dont curse me we are good :-)
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Thanks for the anniversary wishes you guys :-)
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Don't worry CRS, I usually give a leat one warning before the cursing starts, so as it stands, your safe, at least for today...lol
Since Jam is the Mother Hen, does that mean we can call her the 'Old Biddy" ??? Guess we or I should say 'I' need to get permission first..... love ya Jamaroonie....
Beck, if you do draw that poster, use it as your pic, God knows there are days we all need the instructions for the coffee pot.....
I need to put sticky notes on my cabinet that I use to put my coffee supplies in... ran out of fliters... as I was going to sleep yesterday I though, " please God let there be some raggedy old filters up there somewhere".... Got up and sure 'nuff, there were a few, flat as pancakes.... fixed the pot, sat down at the computer to get caught up....when the coffee pot stopped, went to get a cup..... and had not put COFFEE in there.... OHHHHH NOOOOO, A WASTED FILTER.... funny how caregiving changes your priorties..... love ya'll ttyl
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Thank-you everyone for the prayers and angels sent to my Mom. CRS, I tried to send you an uplifting message yesterday, and at the end I was adding a smiley,and I hit the wrong key and poof!!! I couldn't redo it because we had unexpected company. My Aunt and Uncle came to visit. My Aunt is my Dad's sister and she and Mom are close. I think she really wanted my Mom's company because her sister passed away Wednesday and her loonie bin son she was living with didn't even tell anyone. My Uncle got a visit from the police to let him know on Friday. Ladee, you make me laugh everyday! I have been horrified of the hair problem for years. Tweezers are my best friend. Sheer panic if they can't be found. I'm happy its finally served a great purpose, and I became part of the family as an honorary cousin. I like the idea of "Hand" being passed around. Happy Anniversay CRS! Keep us updated about you Papaw. I love you guys!
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Cock -a-doodle-doo!!!!!!!!!!
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It's official, the Old Biddy let us hear from her singing her morning song, gotta love all the folks on here.... Isn't this "dysfunctional" alot more fun than our family of origin.... yeah, uh huh.... and it's even ok to be really hairy here, we love you even more becuase if worse comes to worse you can keep us warm in the winter... and yah I like the Hand thing too.... Jam, maybe that needs to be our new prize for hitting the double zeros'.... something to think about...I am taking my insane ass to bed,,,, disclaimer... cursing not directed at CRS.......... love ya'll
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Had a good day today..got the house all cleaned, my sister and niece came, sis stayed with granny n pawpaw and my hubby, son, niece and i went to nice dinner. Pawpaw got sent home from hospital. No stroke or heart issue...a mild siezure was the dx..good night all :-)
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