This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
She needs time to adjust to a new living arrangement. Having said that, there may be a need for an evaluation of her medications.
My heart goes out to you all. Love, Cattails.
As for parents..while I was gone mom had a minor TIA..think she was nervous about hubby and I both being out of town. We have a fantastic caregiver who love both parents but mom just worries. She was tired on Sunday last but has been good all week. Dad has been pretty perky and alert..another upswing I guess.
He goes tomorrow to see Hematologist to get procrit shot..
Prayers for everyone ...you all have been in my thoughts daily. God bless
Beck, thanks for the laugh first thing this morning, between you and Jam giving us 'pig history' this thread just makes my day....can't think of another forum on the net that has this much fun with so many problems....
Jam, does Cattails get a prize for answering the pig question, come on now, you need to do this more often, pose off the wall questions, but you also need to offer a prize...we need something to look forward to....
Ok, deep sigh, now I have to get back to work, YUK.... anyway, ya'll have a great day, will be thinking of the pigs today to keep a smile on my face....
Oh and Beck, M will make sure those tail feathers NEVER grow back, but appreciate the offer, maybe you can come up with some garlic concoction that I can wear to keep the flying pigs away from me.... oh yeah, it's gonna be a fun week.... will explaing about the flying pigs comment later this evening....Ya'll make sure to leave some shout outs to Seeme, she is home and very very tired.... hugs across the miles....
good to hear from you Vic and hope you are well rested. Happy to hear Dad has perked up a little but not so good for Mom....:(
How about a "Flying Pig" for the prize of any contests? Any other ideas? We have the Cow Pattie aka the Prairie Rose for posts ending in 00.
Getting hair cut today.....all of them, not just one.....then come home and have grilled hotdogs with my granddaughters.......woohoo what fun!
Hope everyone has a great day!
Burnedncaringst..Please dont lose hope..Whether u r a believer or not, there's no one that's out to get you or playing a prank on you...it's just life and we all get a piece of it everyday and have to figure out how to navigate thru it. There are moments when we can see our way thru to positive things in our day, and there are days that we just can't...but we still have to move forward. You hang is there..Things will get better..endless hugs to you...
Ladee..Let's jst stick some garlic cloves in that birds backside, and let nature do the rest!!!! u crack me up, ladee..love ya..hugs
Today, was actually a okay day with the mnl. Of course I felt tired all day and my blood-sugars kept dropping all freaking day up until 4:30pm. I can understand why it dropped all day yesterday for I was very active but today was a slow n dragging day and I ate the same amount of carbs n fat. I give it a couple more days and I may have to call my endo to lower my insulin dose again. Beside that mess, we did have a okay day. peaceful..............; )
Beck, it seems that you are just out-of-luck for that craziness pass you will have to try harder next time for a burger bomb is just not enough to be released. ; )
Colslif, glad to hear your mom is getting over the shingles for I heard they can be very painful. I know my aunt caught them twice and I am not sure how you get them? I had to make sure to stay away from my aunt while visiting in Florida until all her sores were dried because I take anti-rejection meds.
I hope everyone has a good night rest. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Finally I get her in the car and she insists that I put the top down, which I did. My ice cream was covered, she began eating her hot fudge Sunday AND the wind started blowing it all over her face and tea shirt, but she wouldn't put the lid on. By the time we got home I had two alternatives throw her in the shower or the pool (we live in Fl). I did both ! One of the few funny care giver days!
colslif-my heart goes out to you. I've listened to patients cry that cry during dialysis treatments. And no matter how often you let them know you are right there, how many blankets you get, or how many soothing words you say, they just keep it up. Blessings to you, and many hugs.
beck-I am NEVER going to lunch with you! Thanks for the laugh:)
Vic & Ladee-so glad you both got a nice break. Hugs.
burned - hang in there. Hugs.
crs-prayers for you and your health. Hugs.
marty-Best example I've heard in a long time of going with the flow! Hugs.
msdiva-Wow! New Orleans! And your peace of mind...double blessings.
We get Mom's lung scan results tomorrow. For her sake, I hope they turn out good. For my sake, I'll take anything to distract her. I guess putting in 4 flats of flowers, raking, weeding, and generally sprucing up the outside wasn't enough. Oh, and building the raised garden beds and supplying the dirt. Now she has Dad telling me the deck needs power washing and staining. Not this year on my budget! She doesn't have AD, but she sure keeps me hopping. She left a greasy, dirty stove for two days, but when I got home today, she was making Dad remove the nameplate above the number display so she could clean underneath it! Her priorities and mine are very different.
Good night, and better tomorrows.
Son's surgery tomorrow, one down one to go... got the ok for the MRI on the leg, so get that done, the surgery and hopefully he'll be on his feet again soon, it has been almost two months and he is having to start all over again, and with an added cast on his arm.... the ribs are healed, the clavical is healed, the spine injuries are healed....and his daughter was there this weekend, and I know that helped him a lot....
Glad I had a little break this weekend so we can go forward now without mom being so tired she can't think... Notlike, I think about you taking care of people all day and then coming home and doing it again... that's what i do, but at least I don't have Aunt Mom to deal with at night... sorry....
Jam, I think the " when pigs fly" should be used when we are begging for a break... lol....
My friend that came in this weekend had a gift for me.... a yard ornament about 15 inches high, it's orange, lime green and pink, it's a flying pig!!!!!!! I used to tell her that all the time when she would get on one of her tangents about things she was going to do, and be both knew she really wasn't going to do any of it.... Hadn't seen here in twenty years... felt like only yesterday....
So, any suggestions for a name for her or him... I prefer a female name, but haven't decided yet.... "it" has to have a name... all suggestions considered.....
No cutesy names, ya'll know that will never fly, excuse the pun....
For all of you having a rough day, special prayers for you and your loved one....
Will let ya'll know tomorrow how things went with son.... hugs to all of you...
Ladee..my prayers are with you tomorrow with your sons surgery. I hope all goes well. Stay strong..we need you around here...you and that bald-ass bird you call a profile pic..lol
Notlike...come on..let's go to lunch..i promise i'll take the first bite out of the burger just to make sure you're safe...afterall...i'm the one lookin for the "big bang" with pickles n onions on a sesame seed bun...hahahaha Sleep well ladies..hugs
and I'm sure they would call 911 if you tried to EXPLAIN about the burger... normal people are clueless that this stuff happens every day in our world... made sense to us.... sorta sad now that I think about it...lol....
I wish I could share S with you for awhile... he was in a great mood today, so sweet, and when I was fixing breakfast, I heard him ask M if that 'lady' was still here, i walked in the living room and his face lit up.... I sat down next to him and he said, "I missed you".... I almost started crying... gave him lots of hugs today. I can walk out of the room and back in and he doesn't remember I was there a second ago...and like you, I HATE this disease....
If you decide to go into the burger business, I have someone I want you to send a bomb burger to..... sweep the floor..... I DON'T THINK SO.......
Thanks for the prayers for son, i'll let him know you are praying for him....I'm not so worried about this surgery as I am the one on his leg.... having to break the bone, take out the plate and all the pins and screws and start over... bless his heart, I just can't imagine.... but one day at a time.... one thing at a time....
Forgot to tell ya'll that Workmens comp has assinged him his own RN to go to all Dr's appts, ect with him... because of the original hospital stay and them sending him home with an arm broken in two places.... He as had that to deal with all these weeks while Workmen's comp was getting all thier asses in gear and doing the tons of paperwork... no big deal to them, they didn't have a broken arm that hadn't been fixed.... I still can not wrap my mind around the fact this even happened, much less he hasn't complained of too much pain... Ya'll would be hearing me from WHEREVER you live.....
So hope tomorrow is better Beck.... i'll be thinking of you and everyone tomorrow.... love and hgus....
I count my blessings because he is not in pain and he does not have the demons of dementia. My heart goes out to all of you who take care of those that suffer from that disease and, most of all, like each of you, my heart goes out to those who are afflicted with this nightmare of AZ.
Billmo: I've had that problem too. I just go to my wall and click on newsthread, then I get a list of what's been going on.
I've posted a number of times on this thread, but never received a response or comment. I hope I'm not sending the wrong vibes.
Cattails.
The hard thing for newbies, is that threads have some 'running jokes' and unless the new person asks what we are talking about, which you are more than welcome to do, we don't usually take the time to explain, too many people come and go...I guess we could start putting post reference numbers and folks would know....this is where you've got to put yourself out there so we get to know you... and glad you are posting with us.... you too Cattails, Do I need to start putting your name in caps, so you'll see that I'm talking to you!!!! lol...
I think admin is no longer sending notifications... I have YOU on favorites, takes me right to this thread, go to 'last' comments and work my way back... a bit of a hassle if i'm in a hurry, but all other questions and discussions are on the left side of the page so I can click into any conversation going.... I think the volume of people on this sight would make it impossible for notifications....so ya'll keep posting, we'll get to know ya, just need to read and get an idea of who is who...
Sons surgery today.... will let ya'll know something this evening.....
hugs across the miles to you all....
Cattails if anybody don't like your post then maybe they don't like the truth because thats all you are about I like that you help alot of people all over this site. I'm just happy when someone answers or talks back to me some days feels like only conversation Ive had with a adult...
Cattails..thanku for your kind words about dad. I'm just feeling so alone..no kids in my life,at present, an empty house filled with memories of happier days, drawings on the walls from when my kids were little and thought i was the best mom ever. Now...just silence and the thoughts that occupy my head 24/7..Dangerous.. hope you have a good day...hugs
I agree with bilmo maybe you should back off Maybe she will realize how much she needs you..Maybe..Don't blame yourself is right We all do the best we can . You are just like your mom Not Perfect..