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First let me say that my son's surgery went very good. He's in a lot of pain, so hopefully he will get settled in and get to rest and relax... I came home to drink a cup of coffee and rest a few minutes myself... Dr. showed me the xray of the 'finished' product, sure looks better than the erector set exrays from the other Dr... thanks for all that said prayers for him.... they alwayas help...
Bilmo, try to stop worrying about how you sound... if you get carried away admin will contact you...After some of the posts I've read on this sight lately, your comment wasn't about a 'thang' so don't worry...
Edgar, good suggestions from tbaily and bilmo, just give her some space....how old is she and where would she go????Give us some more info and we'll see what else we can do to help.... hugs...
Austin traffic is a BITCH and now so am I.... later... hugs across the miles, I'll get caught up later.....Not Austin that posts here, Austin Texas... just didn't want anyone to misunderstand....lol
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bilmo, went and read the 'sugar' thread and Jeannie is right, admin will automatically delete that... it wasn't you, it's just policy, it's even written down here somewhere....
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Ladee: I'm glad to hear about your son's surgery. Wonderful news. No, you don't have to use caps. Cattails.
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Ladee glad to hear the update on your son- hope his recovery goes well.
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Edgar: Your story sound heart breaking. I posted on your wall and am encouraging you to share more about your situation. We are here for you and will do our best to listen and respond. Love and Hugs, Cattails
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I'm baaaaaacccckkkkk!!!!! Just sticking my nose in and letting you know that I'm not caught up, haven't read a thing here, but I am back. Will have to tell you the details in installments. Got a couple of 'not even in the ground yet, I want my money' stories. I do know we drove 4000 miles in 5 days. Am still trying to get caught up on sleep and have a houseload of crap to sort through.

I see there are a lot of new posters, and I hope to know you soon. Let me catch up. And thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers sent my way from the oldies. I was stuck with no internet access. I've been in a hoarder's house for a week. I want to throw everything out that I have in my own house. Later.............
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Welcome back Seeme Sue... sure have missed you...
Tired already this morning, not gonna be a smiley face day I can tell, sure hope M is in a descent mood, just don't feel like biting my tongue today.... Been thinking more and more about early retirement.... will still have to work, but can sure cut back on some hours.....gotta get moving, not even dressed yet... love ya'll.... later.
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I know what you mean ladee, it's not going to be a smiley face day here either. Sis was pissed yesterday. And i can tell she is still pissed today too. Dad had a drs appt yesterday at 2:00 and i knew she was going to want to go to the appt cause we were suppose to find out results of dads biopsy. Well hubby and i had looked about 2 weeks ago for a new bed for connor cause he is growing out of his toddler bed. So i said something the other day to sis about hubby and i going looking again. And she said i thought ya'll just went saturday. And i told her that it was ok that we would go another day. Never heard back from her so i called her yesterday morning after i got back from carrying connor to daycare. And told her i would be at dads in a few mins and she could go home for awhile until his appt. and her response to me was: Sandy don't worry about if i can't go home for more than a hour then just forget it. And ya'll go find connor a bed. Also i could tell she was saying like find one today and bring it home. I didn't dare hubby that. He would have blown a gasket!!!! Then i saw her this morning and she was telling me about our brother, he posted something on her or his wall about caregivers/ a support group. And said she needed to read it. OH that did piss her off. Our brother and my sister's hubby were at my sister's work and her husband said well my wife hasn't been home hardly in two years. He said it so our brother could hear it. Insinuating you need to stay more with your father so she can come home more. And that is when he posted the caregivers support group on facebook. I could tell she was on the verge of tears this morning. I wish i could help her. But i tried that staying all night and all day with day and that is when i got so depressed. I already resent dad if i started doing that again i just don't want to have these feelings get any worse. We got the life alert but she will not use it for him to stay at night by his self. He can stay during the day for 8 hours by his self why not at night. I am just worried that before all of this is over none of us are going to be speaking to one another. And we use to be close. I just feel like a wedge is between all three of us. And i am scared it is just going to get worse the longer this goes on....... Love and hugs stormyyy
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Stormy, and all this because your sister has issues with saying no, and it makes it twice as hard for you to say no.... and yes, when one person thinks that's the way things should be done, and no compromises, then bad feelings start... My oldest sis was the same way... her way or she would shame you half to death, I did stand up to her finally, and we aren't speaking to this day, her choice.... but like you, I had a life too...just because she decided to be a martry didn't mean I was going to be one....so hope it doesn't come to ya'll not speaking to each other, but you have a small child that is only going to be little once..... do what you have to do.... it's ok for sis to be mad... you didn't break her and you can't fix her.....hugs....
g
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Ladee- Exactly i feel sometimes she thinks i should put dads needs before connor's and i feel like i did that for a while. When he was first diagnosed and we started taking care of him and i was having to keep connor over here for 12 hours most days. And when i think about those times i just feel so mad and angry that i feel like i neglected him(connor) he didn't need to be over here that much that was too long. Months and months i dealt with having a 3 year old under foot while having to do everything for dad except wipe his butt. And i am not going back to that. I think sis thinks that dad should come first in all of our lives but i have news for her, it ain't happening with me. Connor comes first now. I have wasted too much time over here as it is. And if she wants to be subborn enough not to use the life alert or talk with our brother about staying more then more power to her. But i just can't stay with him anymore than what i am. She bitches to me about brother and nephew not staying with dad and i feel like she is putting me in the same boat with them because i don't stay with him anymore. Almost like she is bitching to me too. I don't really care who she gets to stay with him just as long as its not me. She can get joe blow for all i care to sit with him. She just can not understand what i go through because she doesn't have a child. I guess she thinks i should just say well connor you got to stay in this toddler bed til your legs are hanging off the end then maybe aunt d will let us go buy you a bed for your size. I am about ready to say SCREW all of them. I never would have thought that i would come to the day that i would say that about my sister just for the fact that we have always been so close like best friends. But this situation is tearing our family apart. I was going through connor's baby clothes yesterday and i saw a pair of his pj from when he was 3 years old (the same time we started taking care of dad) and i just started crying and couldn't stop. I think back now how short i was with him and how angry i would get with him because he would not behave over here or he wouldn't be quiet so dad could go to sleep and i would get a break. I see now that he was just a baby. Just being a kid. I know he doesn't remember being over here so much and me getting on him but i remember and it is something i will never forget.Well i gotta go he's awake. Hugs stormyyy
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I need to butt in here for just a minute......

I HAVE FURBABIES !!!!!!!!!!!!! Born today between 4:30 am till she finished at noon.........don't know how many of which sex, but the breeder said my babies are healthy. More to follow................................
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Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Furbabies...... Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an Auntie...... about time something good happened to our Seeme Sue...... can't wait to hear more....
Stormy, sounds like you are reaching a point where you aren't being 'guilted' into giving up what is important to you So many of us reach this point in our own time and in our own way....just do what is right for you and your family. None of us know what is right for another person, we can support thier decisions tho.... so let us know how things go with this.... it's been building for a long time now....
hugs
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I lost my application for the school aide job but i got to find it again. I got good news today my daughter is graduating kindergarten so next yr ill have a new kindergartener and a 1st grader. It breaks my heart to see them grow so fast but on another note does anyone know if a baby brown scorpion is poisionous..my husband got stung by one last night and killed it but I didn't get a chance to see it but its under his big toe. Also i have been busy with babysitting my friend's kids and they are a blast and really adorable. Then I had to deal with insurance this morning regarding his power chair so fixing that...
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Oh, I wish I could send you all a vacation. We caregivers work hard, stress, sweat, and get up the next day and do it all over again. Often, with no support from our "families". Love you all and hugs to everyone.
Mom's lung scan was good. No new tumors, and the ones she had have shrunk. I guess she will outlive me at this rate :)
Hubby and son will be home tomorrow night! Whew! I can't wait!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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OK ladies and gents. I burnt the shit out of my finger tonight 4 hours ago. A steam burn. I have had popicles on my fingers. Put silverdine cream on there, same kind we used on dads radiation burns. And now ice water. The ice water helps as long as i kept my finger in there. I have 2 minutes out of the ice water and i have to stick it back in the bowl. Do ya'll know anything i can do to make it stop burning. I can't go to sleep with my finger in ice water. And i can't go to sleep with it burning like this. HELP....... damn this finger hurts. love and hugs stormy
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Morning all..yay Seeme Sue!..furbabies! Woohoo ..we all need time out... Wish we could be calm and loving and patient on a daily basis but when we live or work with our elders ..it complicates matters... We are just human beings not perfect but doing the best we can.
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Good morning yall :-) hope everyone's day goes good!!!...things here have been really good..just wondering is this the calm before the storm? I hope the cymbalta is really helping granny and she is not just letting her emotions and aggrevation build up.

Stormy hope you got some relief from your burn :-)
Good mornin Vic :-)
Hello Ladee :-)
Mornin Cattails :-)
Seeme hope you got some rest :-)
Sorry missed some ppl but hoping you all have a great day!!!!
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Notlike glad your mom got good news..God bless you both!! Vacation sounds sooo nice, i would like 3days at the beach plz haha!!
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Morning everyone...from the posts, seems that many of you are having a good day and as for Seeme......congratulations on those furbabies,although i'm not quite sure i know wat they are exactly..lol they sound adorable n i could sure use a few of them over here..they sound like little critters that would bring lots of smiles to the depressed caregivers of the world. Let's make them the mascot!!!! Every team needs one , ya know. We owe that all to you, Seeme. Glad you're enjoying some fun and laughter in ur life. U deserve it after wat you've been going thru. Hugs
For me, these last 2 days have been tough. I'll give the short version to the story, cuz i don't want to bore everyone..My mom had a very serious emotional breakdown yest regarding the care of my dad. He's constantly repeating himself to the point that she just broke. Thank God my husband was with her when it happened and he managed to talk her through it and calm her down. Wat has come of all this, is the fact that we've come to realize that they cannot live in their home anymore..alone. The property is large and it's jst too much wrk. They have lived there for over 40 yrs. Mom asked my husband about moving into a smaller house and the possibility of my husband n i moving in with them to help them out. She felt guilty for even asking, but my husband assured her that we would do all we could to take some pressure off of her. Well..the timing of all this is actually good, cuz my husband n i are very close to losing our home becuz our business is suffering n we can't make our mortgage payment. So..it would mean short selling our home, selling mom n dads home and finding a house that would meet all our needs. I would want them to have a place in this house for quiet and privacy. My dad would love to all be together, especially with me. It would certainly cut down on the 12-15 phone calls a day!! I want to give dad n mom the best life i can with wat time is left. I want them to have their dignity. I'm torn, becuz i know it will require everything i have mentally n emotionally to make this wrk. Anyway,,i'm taking mom to lunch today to discuss the plans and see how serious she is about all this.
So much for the short version..Any thoughts? Hugs..have a good day, all..
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Trying not to rip out what hair I have left! Trying to play tough love with my mother, thankfully a couple of the siblings stepped up to help with this when I told them the dependent behavior was a problem. My mom is calling me multiple times a day and getting other people wound up. I know she is being cared for and getting her needs met and that I need to not be there right now or she won't do those things she needs to do to be independent. I still feel awful and guilty. What makes it worse is people that have no clue and do things to make it worse. One person told me I had no right to be frustrated or to set boundaries for my life because my mom will be gone some day. Then someone involved in a hobby I haven't had time to be involved with and they have been told multiple times I don't have time and why I don't have time is absolutely harrassing me about doing things for them. I have told this person point blank in very simple terms that I don't have time, why I don't have time and that it is not going to change any time soon. So she starts trying to publicly humiliate me for not doing this work she wanted me to do that I never agreed to. I get so angry and frustrated the rest of my day ends up wasted because I can't focus and work on things.
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Beckncall53, have you thought about buying a duplex for both of you? You could have a door put between the units?
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Well turns out he got stung by a harmless scorpion it wasn't a bark scorpion those are dangerous and I have one loose in the house. I am going to go back to the school today and pick up another application I had started besides a new one for medicaid renewal. Tonight is my daughter's ceremony ...its a special tonight but i do not have any money until friday to buy lasagna and she lost a tooth and we told her the tooth fairy has been busy but planning extra special surprise for her first tooth and that her workers are looking for the missing tooth.
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Oh Lillylilly, I feel for you. You have every right to set up boundaries, and it is possibly the smartest thing you will ever do. This person who doesn't understand that you don't have time sounds like someone you don't need in your life. I seems like they would be no great loss if you cut them loose. I kind of have a similar problem with neighbor I've known for 46 yrs. she just walks in the back door, and sucks up whatever freedom I might have had. I havn't been able to tell her, I've thrown a millions hints that fly right over her head. Her family has been wonderful to me, I don't want to piss anyone off, but I know she will get upset if I'm direct because I see how she reacts to everyone else. I went around upset for several days now because I didn't set up boundaries in the beginning. I know what you mean feeling like the rest of the day is wasted. She sucks the life right out of me. Please know you are doing the right thing, and don't listen to people who tell you how to feel and they have never been through what you are going through. We all care and understand on this thread. I hope the rest of your day will be blessed and beautiful. Vivian
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VivianMM, I know what you mean when people won't get a clue even when you put it in a 3rd grade comprehension level. The hobby person got completely over the top and I told her exactly where to take a flying leap and quit. How's that for quick! She was being even nastier and sending me email after email. It just blows my mind that people can't understand even the rough concept of others having family stuff to deal with. I had been trying to not let this come to a head but she just kept escalating it. I knew she would make a huge drama if I didn't do what she wanted. Well I ended up left with huge drama no matter what I did short of caving and doing her unreasonable request. I guess sometimes you luck out and find a diversion for a problem or a clueless person, other time I guess just let it blow up and move on.
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I've been gone for awhile cause the computer would freeze up, I got so frustrated trying to get online I just wanted to smash it. I cleaned some stuff up and its much better now. Ladee, I'm glad your son's surgery went well and he is on the mend. I just love your posts I look forward everyday to what up with you. I thought Montydotcom's story of chasing his wife around the car, then going down the road with the top down and the ice cream was adorable. I think it would make a great scene in a movie. Seeme, I missed you. I want a furbaby. Burned, I'm glad the scorpion was not poisonous and congratulations on your daughters graduation!!! Beck, I hope you have a good lunch with your Mom. My heart goes out to her having such a hard time seeing what is happening to your Dad. I know I'm leaving people out but I missed so much its hard for my mind to keep up. Stormy, I hope your finger feels better today. There is a burn spray, has like a freezing effect and last a little while. Well I better go I'm not even dressed and its almost 2. Love you all. V.
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Stormy, good for you standing up and letting your sister know that you cannot do it anymore. She can do it herself if she feels that way.
Stormy, I keep a bottle of 'pure lavendar oil." I put it on as soon as it happens and it helps the burn. Don't think you can put it on like a blister burn? I hope you are okay?
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crs, you are always a positive light. Glad to see Vickyvic checked in, you were so nice to me when I found you all. Notlike, I'm glad your mom got goodnews, and thanks for wishing a vacation for me. Cattails where are you???
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Let me just tell ya'll what has been going on today. Sis calls me this morning and tells me that dad is coughing up alot of blood, more than what he has in the past. So i tell her i will be right there. I get here and there are bloody paper towels all in his trash can. I am not talking about specks of blood i am talking about tablespoons of bloody napkins. So she tells me that she calls the lung dr and his nurse tells her to carry dad to the hospital. So she gets in the shower. Gets dressed. Then i am doing stuff to dad. She comes in the kitchen and starts checking up her register bags from work. And i am thinking the whole time. Uh shouldn't we be getting him dressed to go to the hospital???????? So dad goes to sleep and then finally she walks in the den and asks dad did he want to go to the hospital? And of course he says NO. Shocker...... So she says ok. Any other time she would have made him go. What it is, is she is scared that they are going to tell her that the cancer has gone to his lungs. Cause i got on the computer and she had typed in stages of lung cancer. I mean dad had bloody napkins in his bedroom trash can, some blood on the sheets, and bloody napkins in his trash can in the den. I just believe that the cancer has gone to his lungs. And she is just afraid to admit that, that is a possibility. I think she is in major Denial mode. I just checked dads canula and the bleeding has stopped right now. He is not schedule for another ct scan until july 10th. That nurse the lung drs nurse is going to think we have lost all our marbles for not carrying him to the hospital. But i guess the ball is in sis's court. She could have persuaded dad to go with little effort. He does whatever she wants to do. She just did not push him to want to go. So i will be on blood patrol today. What do ya'll think?????? Enquiring minds want to know...... Hugs stormyyyy
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Beck I think your idea of living together is good since you have to be involved with them so much as long as each has their own space and setting boundaries.
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Lillylilly, I feel for you for Im going through similar issue with mnl Neice that comes maybe once a month to take her out lunch. I think she didn't like my poster signs that I put up on mnl door. No glasses, no bowls, no drinks or food thank you. I hate it but she is not the one that was cleaning up piss or dirty dishes. We never have eaten in the bedrooms n not about to start now unless someone is sick.

Burned, I am glad that it was not a bad scorpion and they can get nasty if they are for I had a friend's husband got sting and he was rushed to ER for he couldn't hardly breath. he is doing much better. Not sure if I told you Congratulation for your daughter but I know you got to be very proud of her.

Vivan, do you need to get some a short term memory card for your computer to help it stop from freezing up? Sometimes when you use all your long memory and your short memory you may need to buy some more short memory. Hubby is a computer whiz if you need any help. ; )
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