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I am not trying to quit and i do not wanna quit just fed up with my husband being a crybaby over lil detail. When I tell him were broke he doesn't believe me and i get him his med and his damn smokes. I am tired of being treated shit and disrespected besides he said at one point in time and i quote fine ur fired. I am like am i fired being ur wife too besides ur caregiver. he doesn't like the fact i am putting my foot down and my cat is still missing.
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burned, I hope this doesn't upset you more than you already are, but if I was your cat living in all that chaos, I'd run away too...lol
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Burned, my dad has a fixed income. He always accused that Somebody is taking his money. How can we have no money? For years, I helped share half the cost of their expenses. And this allowed him to spend his money on herbals that can go as high as $239.00. He would order several herbals per month. But, now that he's bedridden, the expenses have doubled (pampers, wipes, toilet tissues, liners, etc...) With my medical bills and our house bills, I could no longer pay for half of their supplies while he wastes his money on herbals (that 80% ends up expired.)

I sat down, itemized all the expenses: bills, house supplies, body care supplies, etc... I totaled what the cost be for the month. I showed him the total cost breakdown: this is the house bills. I had all the bills on hand and actually showed him the bills so that he can really see that the power bill is $475.00, etc..... This is the personal care costs (pampers, wipes, body washes, wash rags, etc..) This is your herbal costs. When it's in writing, he finally realized that he was spending more than his monthly income. So now, when he wants to order his herbal, he would ask me if he has extra money. I'm not sure if this will work with you, but I'm thinking that maybe if he sees it in writing, itemized, totalled vs. the total income, he might actually see that most times you're in the red? Just a thought...

By the way, my dad has fired me soooo many times! When he angrily tells me I'm fired, I say, "Good! Because I didn't like this job anyway! The pay is lousy and no vacation!" And he ends up laughing.
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Morning all..just caught up on posts..thanks for all the well wishes for dad! He had a decent day. And what an idiot I am..he has been having these stomach problems..diarrhea, vomiting constipation..on Friday he told me his stomach hurt. ..he has a history of diverticulitis..so finally yesterday the light blinked on in my head! I called pharmacy and got him on antibiotics... Maybe he will start getting better now.
Burned..glad you can come here and let it all out..
Notlike..so sorry for rebel and what an amazing vet you have!
Stormy..sounds like a good day planned today
Ladee hope you got rest last might
Everyone else..payers for a decent day..
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Bec. sorry for your loss n it sounds like you have a loving warm heart for what u done for Rebel for they r like r children good n bad sometimes. Rebel is in puppy heaven looking down on you.
Stormy, You r going all out n he can have his cake too. That is very thoughtful n I hope he appreciate what you do for him. I am just doing a pot-roast, corn-bread n some veggies for my hubby.
I did send my daddy a card n it was very hard to find the right words for some of you know from past post the circumstance with the dogs n his choice to stay on his property. I also put all us kids pictures on an index card back/front n said, "Eventhough we r all grown-up, we will always love you daddy." Now, hopefully the step-mom will give it to him. I will try to call their house that is if their phone still works n half the time he cannot hear it ring anyway. I don't see too many more Father's Day for my dad from route he is going n I cannot change his hard-headed mind so all I can do is tell him that, I love him.

I hope all Fathers have a blessed day.
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Wishing all the dads out there a Happy Fathers Day...Mom n dad will be at my house for the day, and, of course, i'm cooking.......with 1 hand!! lol Hope everyone has a beautiful day. God Bless our daddys!! hugs to all
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Thank you all for the thoughts on Rebel and furbabies. We all have so much caring to give, even when our lives seem like endless chores, and it's heartwarming to know how many of us love our animals. I should mention the vet we used is where Rebel donated blood at the Animal Emergency center. It's a 24/7 ER for all kinds of pets. If you have one in your city, or a vet involved in the blood donor program, I urge you to consider signing your cat or dog up. Rebel donated 13 pints of blood over the years, helping countless other dogs. We liked to say that he was a "working" dog.
Jam and Seeme-I will suggest those drink ideas to Mom. Thanks! And no green beans yet - but it looks like soon.
Stormy - can I send my hubby and Dad to your house for Father's Day? LOL Sounds like you are doing it up really nice. Hugs.
ren345-Your wife may need a swallow study to determine if she is swallowing correctly. You could start by talking to her primary doctor. If she is not swallowing right, she could take food or liquid into her lungs instead (aspriate) and wind up with phneumonia. If a study determines she needs help, most foods can be altered in consistancy to make it easier to swallow. Liquids can be thickened with artifical thickeners, and solid food can be ground in a blender or food processor. But check with the doctor first before trying to change her foods. Blessings, and please come back and let us know how she and you are doing.
Dad and I are going to watch "Falling Skies" tonight as our FD activity. Sis and I bought him the first season DVD so he could catch up. Can't wait!
An especially good day to all!
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I'm sneaking away from the "father's day" festivities cuz dad is in a cranky mood n i'm now 3 glasses of wine into this day. Jst had to escape for a few minutes n check in..He's jst looking like he's ready to blow a gasket, n it seems to be directed at my daughter becuz she keeps texting on her cell fon in front of him. He hates that..I told her that after dinner....run...lol...hugs
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Burned: Here's a way out thought or two. You previously mentioned that your husband wanted to move to where his family is and I don't remember the state they live in. What would happen if he did that, by himself. Would they be willing to take him in?

You could file for child support and since his income is all from the government, it wouldn't be difficult to locate and distribute. You could look into what the state has to offer for health care for your children, based on your income, or possibly you could ask that your husband continue to cover them via his Medicaid or whatever.

You could then get a full time job, move if need be to an area that has more opportunities, get low income housing for a new start and make your own way.

Your children need to have some dependable structure in their lives. If you can't do that together, maybe you can do it separately. In time, if you decide to divorce, maybe you can insist in the agreement that you and/or your children remain beneficiaries on his life insurance policy. At least until the children are out of college.

I'm not suggesting that you do this, but I am offering it as a way to manage your life better if that is what would help. Something to think about. Cattails.
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I hear and recieve just that he is being intolerable to the heat and rude to my friends that came down here to start their life over again. All I want for him is to drop the attitude and I am about to itemize everything i buy for him and the kids. I give him money and when we do not have it I give it to him from my money . I give him respect but he then he acts like he is schizoid or something. I am praying to have strength to continue but if he moves to Indianapolis, Indiana none of his siblings will help him. We all have no family to rely and even my friends we are family together. I help those in need and I care but then again there is no excuses for his actions period and I have to get extension on my tb and get something notarized by the court house. I am doing my best but I am ready for a drink ...and to think during all this time I havent had a chance to grieve the loss of a family member. I am ready for a mini vacation unless he goes in first. He needs to get his meds balanced or something. I already began tough bitch plan for him lol.
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We are moving our mom into a NH next week. We just don't know which one, b/c all the ones around here are full up. She doesn't know she's going and when she finds out the TNT will hit the fire. She will not be a happy camper, the fur will hit the fan. Will let you know all about it. Brandy
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my day was nuts lol...Im in a hotel in sc...here till Friday for orientation for a new job..working in a VA clinic....its day 4 of granny being in hospice...just kills me tha I wont be around all week...my mom will be with her and my family will visit...Its be soo hard seeing her lying in that bed....but Iknow its the best place for her to be...I hate seeing my mom hurting from this decision...but she knows its the rite thing to do.....granny just mostly sleeps, and when she is awake has no clue we are there...the hospice is beautifull and such amazing people working there....i start an new adventure tomarrow with my new job....I hope everyone has a wonderfull week...hugs to everyone
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Brandy let us know if there is flying debris, so we'll know to take cover... but you have to do what you have to do..... keep us posted...
JoJo, congrats on the new job, very heartwarmning to hear you being excited about your new adventure....and granny is in good hands.... nothing you could do if you were there..... let us know how things are going...
It amazes me what stress does to our mind and body... talked with a friend until one this morning, just about 'stuff', laughed, shared, and by the time I got off the phone, all these aches and pains were gone... still going to the Dr... gonna ask for some GOOD drugs this time..... not really.... but earlier in the day talked with another friend and could feel my body loosing up then... no pain this morning and a clear head...... well, the head thing is debateable I know.... clear as it's gonna get anyway....
Have Dr's appt' with my son this week, and working split shifts at M's because of her pain in her shoulder...so it's going to be a long week, and I'm sure I'll be on here talking about how tired I am and my body hurts, and blah blah blah...... gotta love caregivers tho... we do bounce back .... well, maybe trudge back, i'm way past the 'bouncing' days.... everyone find one tiny thing to be grateful for today....
Wanted ya'll to know I heard from ASG.... she said things are crazy but she will try and post soon... Love ya ASG, in our thoughts and prayers...
hugs across the miles to ya'll
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Vic-it was a pretty good day just very busy. Hugs
Lil' deb- I think hubby appreciated everything, the food and the gifts i hope so anyway. Hugs
Notlike- I didn't get on here yesterday just too busy. But i would've said send them on the more the merrier, right? hugs to you too.
I am planning on calling the lung dr today and talk to his secretary to see if she changed dads appt date. I talked to his nurse last week and she didn't have any news and was little help so i figured i would try someone different maybe she will know something about when we are going to see the dr. I hope so anyway.
It's going to be a long day. Connor and i are having to get up extra early cause he has to be at daycare at 7:30 to catch the little bus that carries the kids to safety town. It's just for this week thank the Lord. But when he starts school he will have to be there at 7:30 too. Its going to be hard on both of us getting use to getting up that early. Plus i didnt sleep worth a shit last night. And i am already feeling the effects from it. Huh... And not in the mood to go to dads. I know he will have a bunch of stuff he wants me to do to him. Hopefully the day will flyyyyyy byyyyy. Mondays just suck if you ask me. Just feeling kinda blah today i guess thats how i am doing. So love and hugs to all of ya'll. stormyyyy
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I talked to sis this morning and she told me that last night dads hands were trembling or having tremors and in his head. She asked him dad are you having tremors and he said he thought he was having them all over. He said that he wasn't cold. Finally she said that he said he was going to bed at 1:00. I think cause he got tired of the tremors. Does anybody know anything about this? I havent seen him having them today so far. Just let me know if ya'll know anything. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Everyone here survived the Father's Day festivities fairly unscathed!! When i woke up this morning, there wasn't a cell in my body that wasn't in pain. I can't believe im in such pitiful condition at age 53...Wat ever happened to "my prime"?....now, it jst means the cut of meat i order..lol
I guess i did a lil more than i thought in preparation for yesterday. All i kno is that i have 10 more days before surgery on my hand, and it can't come soon enough. Don't u ladies worry, tho........i can still type with my toes..lol....wat a visual!! I'll do this "one handed mombo" again later. Now, i get to go do the grocery shopping for mom. Maybe a boy scout will be selling chocolate at the store entrance, and see the sad condition i'm in, and help an old broken bitch out!!!!! later ladies...huge hugs..
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beck, are you sure it wasn't the three glasses of wine yesterday... maybe everything finally relaxed !!!!! Calling all Boy Scouts... and old drunk lady needs help with her groceries..... so happy to see you back and making us laugh.... good luck with the surgery, and I don't know if I could type with one hand or not,,, hmm something to practice in my spare time.... hugs to you poor old broken person.....
Stormy, hope you have found something out... and don't know about dads tremors, was he running a low grade fever??? If he does it again, call his Dr.... let us know what you found out...
Son's appt changed to tomorrow, so need to get back to M's.... see ya'll later this evening... hugs.
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Well....not a boy scout to be found at the f-n store!!! Do boy scouts even exist any more?
Ladee....i completely forgot about those 3 glasses of wine yesterday!!!!! Now...how could i have forgotten that..of all things......lol. Wat i think i need to start accepting about myself is the fact that im jst gettin old and breakin down, so my husband n i decided that we are going to invest in a "rascal" that seats 2. I'm going to put a flag on it that reads.."Fuck Off".. and we're going to drive it back n forth in front of our sons house becuz he 's really pissin us off!!! If i have to live day in n day out with all these aging issues...im sure has hell going to make sure im a pain in someone's ass!! It's called..unconditional love...hahaha.. LYL
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Ladee, Better take cover. The fur is flying here.
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Ok, ladies...im typing this post with my toes to get some practice time in before next wk!!!!!!!!! JK! Here's another visual for you all.....I went outside this afternoon to water my snail-devoured flowers...they look like sh*t, but i watered them anyway. My dog,Lily was in the front yard with me and she has this obsession with dragon flies.. She's watching the shadow on the lawn of one that is hovering in my yard, then it flies out towards the street. She proceeds to follow this thing, all the while squealing like a pig and skidding across the hot asphalt in an attempt to catch it. Little did i know that she had managed to burn the pads right off both front paws down to the raw.. I was too busy paying attention to my dead flowers, so i didint realize what she had done. She then lies on the lawn, panting so hard from heat exhaustion, so i spray her with the hose to cool her down....she loves that...
Anyway..i get ready to go into the house n call her to follow me in, and she doesnt move. I call her again, n she stands up, but still doesnt walk towards me. She looked like a dog in headlites!!! (we dont do deer..lol) I went to find out what the problem was, n checked her paws. All the pad on both front feet r completely ripped off. It's disgusting n i feel so bad that i wasnt paying closer attention when she was skating in the street. So i proceed to pretend im a vet, and i put neosporin
on her paws n wrap them both in an ace bandage. She can barely put weight on her front feet, but she managed to get into my car n accompany me on a trip to the drive thru pharmacy ( no meds were mentioning..ha). As i pull up to the window, the lady looks at me n notices that i have a brace on my left hand, n my dog has both front paws wrapped in bandages. O, Lord...her face was priceless. I gave her a look n said , "Don't even ask".. So there i sit, the pharmacist laughing her ass off n im thinking..Hey, lady...a lil compassion, pleez...you're lookin at 2 broken, old bitches n u dont want to piss either one of us off! One bitch still has a pretty good right hook, and the other bitch bites.....! U kno, ladies...u may want to take a vote about allowing me to post on this thread....after all...i drive around with a bumper sticker that reads.."Warning....I'm old and have lost all sphincter control...so back off!"....Let's face it....i need help....lol love ya all
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Beck- That's pretty good girlfriend. Although i feel terrible for Lily i hope her little paws heal up soon. Poor thing. I bet that was a sight for the pharmacist to see. Love and hugs stormyyy
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Stormy..my husband says i am officially "certifiable"....He says wen ur injuries actually coordinate with the dog....it's all over....Hope all is well with u.....hugs
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first day of orientation for my new job....went really well....met some great people that I will be working with...mostly RN's....such caring people....it was sooo hard being away from my mom...knowing she spent most of the day sitting with grandma in hospice....granny just sleeps...and now her tongue has turned black...my heart is breaking that Im not there....I think mom is not telling me the whole store on how granny really is...they r keeping her sedated, so she's not getting any food at all...they did some swallow test and that didnt go well...i think mom wants the hospice to not sedate her tomarrow, to see if she can really fnction at all....being so sedated shes like a zombie, but they say without sedation, she just screams, is overly confused, they feel the sedation is the best thing, keep her comfortable and she would not be comfortable if not sedated....i reminded her of the objective of hospice...keep the patient comfortable in their final hours.....other than...she suggested I find out what I should do if granny passes while im at orientation..I could drive home for a few hours - im only a little over an hour away....mom insisted I didnt, not yet anyway....Ive been preparing myself for grannys passing for awhile now....my heart breaks for my mom...I am thankfull that she has alot of support from her friends and my brother and niece... I feel so guilty not being there...just feel like im going to cry myself to sleep....6am comes pretty fast...i will try my hardest to get some sleep.....ok feeling better getting it out...sometimes a good cry does help :)....thanks all for listening
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JoJo, first let me say how very proud I am of you for doing what you need to do for your own future... it is my belief that your granny would want you to do this, when granny passes, you still have a life to live, and I know she is very proud of you... your mom knows that you love her... that you are in her and your grannys heart. Can't get much closer than that.... love is love, it transcends miles and obstacles, but you are preparing for your future and granny is preparing for hers..... she is very proud of you, as we all are... please keep us posted and know you and your family are in our prayers..... and happy to hear you are going to be in a good working enviorment..... that makes a world of difference.... hugs to you.....
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Beck, you need a blog.... I'd follow it..... You could be our Caregiving Erma Bombeck..... think about it.... too funny... not about poor Lily, but the drive thru scene.....Hope Lily is feeling better today.... and you type very well with your toes.... and I am calling the Boy Scouts right after I get off of here, how dare they not be available in a time of need....thanks for the laugh, it was one damned long day for me....
And your bumper sticker is priceless, I had one that said Yo Mamma...my ex got irrate and took it off my car... I went and got another one and put it on his truck without him knowing, he drove for months with that thing and won't EVEN share what happened when he found it.... LOL....but will say it was worth it...
brandy, doesn't sound like being at your house was a good place to be yesterday....let us know what happened..... and I think you can by a used AVENEGER suit somewhere...... be prepared... always be prepared....
It's going to be a rough week, split shifts at work, taking son to the Dr. in between, and Fri. will be my 12 hour shift because M will have her transfusion that day.... and I choose to do this,, what the hell is wrong with me....
Love to you all, need to get going.... hugs to everyone...
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beck, thanks for the laugh first thing this morning. So glad you are hanging around the wine cooler.......uh, water cooler. Lily doing better today?

I decided on a quick and easy breakfast for the first day in Maine., Sunday, July 1. Wrote it to all the others. We'll take some country ham that doesn't need to be refrigerated, stop and get biscuits and eggs on the way out to the house on Sat evening. Ham and egg biscuits - voila! I've already been turned down by hubby's sister. I sent it at 10 PM last night, it is barely 7 AM here, and I have already been turned down for a meal............like we won't be working off that damn biscuit.

JoJo, like Ladee says. Just recently been there, done that. The hospice workers are wonderful people. I can't imagine doing what they do everyday, and most of them here just love what they do. G/ma is in good hands.

Brandy, was that a shooting star I saw last night or falling debris? Details....

Everyone have a good day.........later.........
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Beck-thank you for the morning laughs! Whatever happens today, it won't be as bad or as funny as you and your dog in the drive through! Hugs.
Ladee-Angels to carry you through your tough week ahead. Remember, one day at a time. Tomorrow's problems will be there without you thinking about them ahead of time. And eventually, it will be the weekend. Hugs.
JoJo-Good for you! I hope you love your new job. Blessings to you, and peace for your Mom and Grandma. Hugs.
Well, I have produced three dinners in a row for the household, on top of being at the gym twice, and doing laundry. I need to hang up my Super Cape before I fall over from exhaustion! I'm praying the loaves and fishes thing keeps happening here, because everybody likes to eat and I really have no idea how we manage sometimes :) I worry, because I feel responsible to feed eveyone, but I know deep down inside we're doing alright. And my trainer at the gym thinks I should be eating more protein (isn't ice cream protein???).
Another day ahead...work, gym, grocery store (again!). Thank goodness it's leftover night.
A good day to all.
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Notlike, In Caregiver World... Ice cream is protein, and tell your trainer thousands of caregivers said so......and choclate, don't forget the choclate..... have a good day....
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Good Morning all............have been catching up with posts and after I picked myself off the floor from laughing with beck thought I would say hi.......so glad you keep such a terrific sense of humor through everything.....but poor Lily!! I hope she doesn't chase anymore dragonflies.......if she is anything like my babies, she will now expect you to bring them to her!
Jojo...........happy to hear orientation went well. It's hard to watch our loved one turned into a zombie but sometimes that's the lesser of two evils.....difficult to watch also when they are screaming and there is nothing we can do about it. Her tongue is a combo of lack of circulation, some bacteria........nothing to worry about even though it doesn't look very pretty. Sending hugs and prayers to you all!
seeme......wow, no way would I pass up a breakfast like that......sounds like sil is going to be difficult during this..........you will get through it knowing what is waiting when you get home!
notlike......I am so impressed with all that you are accomplishing daily.....I get my exercise through you.....lol.......and my philosophy is protein can be whatever you say it is!
ladee......wish your care giving load was easier, it would be if there wasn't the mental stress from M all the time......S is such a sweetheart! Sending hugs!
stormy.........Dad's tremors are probably nothing to be worried about. If they don't recur or get worse then it was a passing thing and not to be concerned with. Glad to hear Father's Day was a success at your house.....sounds like you planned a very nice gift to hubby.

Talked with the col last night after supper......she was a little irritated with the children who kept feeding her food.......she couldn't tell us who they were. I had to feed her some birthday cake last week so it would appear that she is now past feeding herself. She is also asking to be taken directly back to her room after meals so she is isolating herself. I so hate the slow, downward spiral.......fast is so much easier to get through.

Hope everyone has a good day..............thinking of you all!
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Well i was going to call the lung drs office yesterday but i didn't so i guess i will try to call them today to see if they have rescheduled his appt time. We still have not hear anything on his thoracentesis report. I guess no news is good news huh? I didn't see dad doing the tremors thing yesterday. And sis told me also that the other night when he was having the tremors that he got the strangest look on his face and he said that he just didn't feel right and she asked him did he need to go to the hospital and he said no. Dad is so envasive with his answers sometimes, if something is wrong with him we ask him how does he feel and he says i don't know. Huh.....Well i will chat with ya'll later. Love and hugs stormyyy
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